HELLO MY FAITHFULS. I am soooooo sorry I haven't updated in so long. Life has been busy. I actually interned at a creative writing intensive in New Jersey for two weeks, which was awesome but slightly time consuming. I have had literally no time to write since then. And now school started up and so gah I'm overloaded already. And we haven't even gotten into the hard stuff yet. Damn. But psychology seems like it'll be fun, so that's a plus. Still...So ignoring my rant about school... ON WITH THE STORY!

CLARY POV

I woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. The hand constricting my throat was no longer there, but I could still feel the ghostly squeeze. After a minute, I was able to get my breathing under control, but my heart didn't stop pounding. It had been real, so very real. I could see his eyes as his hand wrapped around my neck, and I could smell the beer on his breath. Tears leaked from my eyes as I tried to suppress the sobs that shook my body, but it wasn't working.

I knew what I needed. I knew exactly what I needed, my only cure. There was no way I could have it, though, because I had no excuse to be in his room anymore. Despite the fact that we could be classified as friends, this was way too far from appropriate. Which was exactly what I'd been trying to tell myself.

For the past month.

Almost every night had been filled with all-too-real bruises and scars that disappeared when I opened my eyes. Sleep was rare and fleeting at this point, and it was getting unhealthy.

Currently, I sat on a stool at the counter in the Institute's kitchen. My eyes were drooping as I clutched my mug of coffee. I had a sense of deja vu while I stared at the oven clock. Luckily, this time, I had faced the nightmares and got a little bit of sleep. Just enough to pass by. I had a feeling it would get worse as time went on, but there was nothing I could do to help it. A sigh escaped my as I dropped my head onto my arms, praying that I would get one good night's sleep in the near future.

The reality was that I wouldn't, not without Jace.

It was honestly pathetic.

That was when I heard the sound of someone treading downstairs, and I knew that I didn't quite want the questions that would be directed my way if someone saw me. I hastily rose to my feet, rushing into the pantry, leaving the door cracked just enough to see out of it. My heart was pounding, and I was almost sure that whoever was there would hear it. I held my breath, waiting to see who it was. When I did, the pounding turned into a dead stop.

It was Jace, looking just as tired as I felt. He rubbed his temples, cursing slightly under his breath, and I just hoped he wouldn't notice me before I made my escape. Then, I saw it. My fresh mug of caffeine was steaming on the counter. He seemed to catch it at the exact same time. I swallowed hard, watching as he spun around, clearly looking for the source. My inhales were growing shaky, and I stepped back to make myself less visible.

Of course, I just had to knock down a candy from the shelf.

He walked my way.

I was panicking, totally internally panicking, especially as he opened the door. Light flooded in, revealing my hiding place. For a moment, he just stared. After a little bit, I began to shift uncomfortably in the silence, wishing I knew what was going on in his head. Finally, he ran a hand through his hair, at least acknowledging my presence.

"What are you doing up?" I broke the quiet, but my voice was high and squeaky. Jace recovered from his moment of shock, and placed his normal smirk on his face. We both knew it was fake, but decided to ignore that particular detail.

"Couldn't sleep." Were the two words he said in his signature 'Duh' tone. I couldn't help but roll my eyes, putting my own facade in place.

"I can see that, but I was wondering why?" It came out as a question, and he immediately stopped. There was a nervous look on his face, a look that I'd only seen a handful of times in my life. Again, there was no sound, but the tension in the room was almost tangible. We both knew the answer, but neither of us wanted to say it. I could see it in his eyes, and I was sure he saw the same thing in mine.

"Do I need a reason?" He tried for normalcy, raising an eyebrow. I huffed out a sigh, for some reason deflating a little. There was-admittedly-a small part of me that wished he would speak how we both felt. And maybe, just maybe, we could cure each other again. I closed my eyes tightly, the began to push past him. Before I could, he grabbed my waist, halting my escape.

"Yes?" I raised both-dammit-eyebrows in return. Jace opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but no sound came out. He released me, apparently giving up, "I'm going to try to sleep again." I stated as I tried to hide my emotions. He nodded, stepping aside so I could walk back into the kitchen and toward the stairs. Right before I climbed the first one, he grabbed my arm. A mumble rolled off his tongue, and I tilted my head in question.

"I'll..." He trailed off, taking a deep breath, "I'll go with you." I sucked in a sharp gasp, and there was slight vulnerability in his eyes. Honestly, I didn't know how to respond to that. I bit my lip, pondering the aftermath. But I wanted nothing more than a full night's sleep, even if that meant with Jace.

You aren't really sad about that. My mind piped up, and I glared. When Jace stepped back, I realized that he'd thought it was aimed at him. I grabbed his hand before he could get away, then tugged him forward the tiniest bit. A tentative happiness grew in his eyes, and I offered a weak smile. He returned it.

We both ignored the fact that we didn't let go of each other, walking up and to his room. As soon as we stepped inside, a wave of nervousness washed over me. It seemed to take him over too. This time was different, and we both knew it. There were no excuses at this point. We were doing this because we wanted to, not because we were forced to. For a while, all we did was stare at each other, neither of us wanting to make the first move.

Surprisingly, it ended up being me.

I released his hand, walking over to my-oh god, when did it become my?-side of the bed, slipping under the sheets. He mirrored me on his, and suddenly, we were laying down next to each other, but there was a space between us. That space was a line, a line that we both wanted to cross, but didn't have the courage to. I sighed, curling up and closing my eyes. The second I did, images began to flash, and I sat up with a gasp.

"Come here." Jace murmured, lifting his arm. I couldn't help but obey. At first, it was cautious, his embrace loose. But when I wrapped my own around his neck, it all disappeared. I scooted over until we were closer than ever before. I buried my face in his shoulder, and his arms tightened. He stroked my hair in a comforting gesture, and I began to fall into oblivion.

"Sweet dreams." I whispered.

"Sweet dreams." He replied, and I swear I felt a kissed dropped on the top of my head.

But it was obviously my imagination.

Jace POV

"I'll...I'll go with you." The second the words left my mouth, I internally cringed. What the hell was I doing? All I'd come down for was a mug of coffee to get me through the day, but now, everything changed. I had answered the question that was already in the air, and I didn't know whether or not a regretted it. On one hand, I would get a good night's sleep for the first time in a month. On the other hand, it would be Clary in my bed, which was awkward for both of us.

Yeah, right. Awkward. My mind's sarcasm was not appreciated. She sucked in a sharp breath. After a beat of nothing, she glared at me, and I cursed myself for even thinking the offer, much less giving it to her. How stupid could I possibly be? Am I really that much of an idiot?

Answer: Yes.

And I was seriously regretting it.

That is, until she grabbed my hand. She pulled me forward gently, and I couldn't help the little bubble of happiness that rose up in me. At first, I didn't think it was noticeable, but when Clary smiled softly at me, I knew I was being more obvious than I'd thought. Nevertheless, I returned it.

Neither of us commented on the fact that our hands were still linked, but it was clearly in both of our minds. At least, I assumed so for her. It was definitely that way for me, because it seemed to be all I could focus on. I mentally kicked myself, trying to get back to reality. Why would I even be affected by that anyways? It wasn't like I-

I stopped that train of thought before it could get out of control.

Still, I couldn't escape the nervousness that suddenly took over my being. I knew it was because this time held so much more weight than the others. With no demon baby to use as an excuse, we were doing this because we wanted-needed-to. I felt a little pathetic at that point, because I was Jace Lightwood, and Jace LIghtwood didn't need to cuddle to fall asleep. It just couldn't be true. I briefly contemplated changing my mind, but I had to get over my pride, because it was the only way I would be able to get some rest.

Clary and I stared at each other, obviously having the same thoughts. We didn't want to move, because that would solidify everything. It would be the final seal before we broke into new territory. Just even considering it was beyond our comprehension, so actually doing it was a whole different story.

I was shocked when Clary ended up pushing us over the edge.

She unlaced our fingers, padding over to her-oh god, when did it become her?-side of the bed, and she peeled the sheets back, slipping in between them. Slight tremors were taking over her, and I questioned if she even noticed, because she didn't comment on it or try to justify it in any way. I followed suit, getting under the covers.

We both eyed the space between us, because we knew that was another barrier that we were about to risk breaking. I watched Clary, vowing to let her make the decision. After all, it hadn't been her idea to do this, so I wouldn't blame her if she wanted to stick to her area. That seemed to be her decision, and I pointedly ignored the slight deflating inside me. She laid her head down on the pillow, her eyes fluttering shut.

It wasn't even thirty seconds before she shot up to a sitting position, sucking in a sharp breath. That was the final straw for me, because what we both needed was blatantly obvious. So I took the initiative on that one.

"Come here." I whispered, hoping my tone was as gentle as intended, and lifted my arm. After a brief hesitation, she scooted towards me until I could gather her loosely in my arms. She ended up wrapping her own around my neck, then moving closer than we'd ever been before. She nuzzled my shoulder, and I couldn't help but tighten my embrace. I ran my fingers repeatedly through her hair, hoping it would help her fall asleep faster.

"Sweet dreams." She murmured softly.

"Sweet dreams." I parroted, and then she seemed to be gone. I must've been possessed by some demon, because before I could stop myself, I pressed my lips to the top of her head. The second after I did it, my heart stopped, because what the hell was I thinking? I prayed with all my being that she had already given into her exhaustion before I'd done the idiotic thing. When she didn't respond in any way, I rationalized that she'd probably left to dream land already.

With a deep sigh, I let my eyes shut, and the last thing I remembered was the smell of apples.

I woke up to the glorious sound of someone pounding on my bedroom door. My first instinct was to ignore it and go back to sleep, and I decided to do just that.

"Jace I am coming in whether you like it or not." Was my only warning. I yanked the covers up to cover Clary's head, much like I'd done with Mom. Luckily, she and Dad were out of town at the moment, so we weren't risking severe punishment there. Then again, my mother didn't seem to mind, because we had a valid reason. I had a feeling she would've done whatever it took to stop Clary's nightmares though.

The door was flung open with way more force than necessary, and Alec barged in, eyes blazing. I shrunk back a little under his glare and flinched when the door slammed shut in his wake. His jaw and fists were clenched, telling me all I needed to know. Alec was pissed. Extremely pissed. Past pissed. The only thing was, I had no idea why.

"What did you say to her?" He growled. I tilted my head in confusion, "Clary." Alec stressed her name, as if that cleared anything up. My confusion must have been evident, because he huffed out a sigh, "She's gone without a trace. Isabelle is fast asleep, and I sure as hell didn't do anything, so it had to be you." His hiss was deadly, making me swallow hard. I couldn't think under the pressure, but he took that as a sign of guilt, "Godammit Jace! I can't believe-"

"I didn't say anything." I cut him off, finally processing his words, "Why do you automatically assume it was me? Maybe she left because she wanted to." The decision to not tell him that she was currently snuggled into my side seemed to be the right one. For both Clary's and my sake. If Alec knew what we were doing for sure, we would be in loads of trouble.

"Why would she want to?" His voice was getting a slight bit louder and a slight bit more frantic. I opened my mouth to reply, but of course Clary just had to buried her face deeper into my shoulder, her lips brushing my bare skin. My breath caught in my throat and god I was acting like a thirteen year old girl with a-

Nope. Not going there.

"Please tell me that's not Seelie in bed with you." Apparently, her movement hadn't gone unnoticed, and I gulped, wondering how the hell I would get out of this. Get us out of this.

"No?" I tried to make it sound like a guilty question. It must've worked, because he huffed, clearly agitated, "Can you maybe come back another time?" A weak attempt, I knew, but it was all I had.

"Don't even try..." Alec trailed off before his inevitable rant started, and I stared at him in question, but didn't say anything. I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. For a moment, it was silent, "Are you cuddling her?" He asked incredulously. I gave him a look that spoke volumes of 'No, you idiot', but it didn't seem to work. That was when I realized he could just barely see her arms around my neck, so all protests were rendered useless.

"No?" This time, I didn't mean for it to come out like the last, but it did anyways. Alec's eyes widened, and I didn't know whether to thank or curse the change of topic. His jaw slowly dropped, and I winced. If he was acting like this when he thought it was Seelie, there was absolutely no way I could avoid punishment if he found out it was Clary. I silently vowed to do everything in my power to keep that from happening. Apparently, fate was against me, because I felt Clary begin to stir awake.

"Ssshhhh" She tried to shush both me and Alec, "Shut up and go back to sleep." Luckily, her voice was sleep ridden enough to be unrecognizable. For a second, we were both silent, but I opened my mouth to speak. She must've been psychic, because she cut me off before any sound could escape me, "No talking, more sleep."

"For your information, we are having an actual, important conversation, Clarissa." For about ten seconds, I didn't realize my mistake. To be honest, it took Alec's jaw dropping for it to happen. His shock ebbed away after a minute, and left in its place was pure fury.

"Jonathan Christopher Lightwood." He growled, and his voice had never been that scary in my life, "Pull down those covers. Now." The last word was a barked command, and it scared me enough that I did what he said instinctively. Alec was surprisingly terrifying when he was mad, one of the traits he shared with our sister. It didn't happen often, but when you were on the receiving end of it...momentary death was imminent. The only blessing we had was that he could see, yes, we both had clothes on.

Clary slurred out a few profanities, grabbing the blankets and trying to yank them back up. When I held them firm, she cracked open an emerald eye to glare at me. There must've been an odd look on my face, because she narrowed her eyes, appearing slightly concerned.

"We have a visitor." It came out hoarse, but she heard it all the same, and her head snapped Alec's direction. When she saw him, she sucked in a squeaky breath, which did nothing to help the situation. I noticed in right then that our arms were still wrapped around each other. I cleared my throat, hoping she would get the message, but she seemed stuck on the fact that Alec was actually standing there. Despite my urge to, I couldn't blame her, because this was bad news.

"We have an explanation." She finally managed to speak, hastily letting me go. I did the same to her, and we both sat up.

"It'd better be a damn good one." Alec ground out. Clary and I turned to each other, silently debating who would tell the story. After a brief stare down, she groaned, then faced Alec again.

"It all started with the doll of doom..."

The secret has been exposed. (Cue dramatic gasp) And Alec of all people...This should turn out...interesting ;) Oh! I have to ask...Do any of you guys ship HPDM? (Yes, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy) (cue yet another dramatic gasp). I just discovered it a little while ago, and now I am OBSESSED. Majorly. I mean, when you read it, it actually works. Like really well. Anyways...Following the dreaded back to school theme...

Question of the Chapter: What is the absolute funniest story you have that occurred in school? It doesn't matter what grade, or even college. Anything.

Mine is probably the fact that, when I was a sophomore in high school, my beloved AP Spanish teacher (No but seriously, she's awesome) told me that I needed to 'get a life'. I kid you not, those exact words. My teacher. As you can tell, that was a very mature class. Obviously, I'm being sarcastic, because let me say that after we finished the AP test and had nothing to do, we played an Ultimate Frisbee tournament against the AP French class. It was intense, but WE WON HALLELUJAH.

Enough about me...

Don't ever forget how awesome you are, my faithfuls.

With loads of love...

-Shadowhunter5801