When I return downstairs, I notice only Yoon-Gi is left waiting. "Hey, I thought you were leaving?" I ask, walking to the back door to pull on my boots. "I thought I'd walk with you to the bakery if that's alright," he says, also pulling on his shoes. "Of course that is ok," I say, standing up and grabbing my crossbody from the hook. "It just sounded urgent. I know the boys are close to debut." I stand, waiting for Yoon-Gi to stand with me. I must have been distracted because I finally feel a heaviness in the air.
"Yoon-Gi? What's wrong?" I ask, kneeling in front of him. He has his head down, arms on his knees. He doesn't lift his head, so I touch his face. "Baby?" I ask, a note of nervousness creeping into my voice. I don't see him like this often; the last time was when he learned of the passing of his uncle. "Please." He takes one hand and catches mine that is on his face. He pulls it to his lips and lightly kisses my palm. "Yoon, come on, what's wrong?" I whisper.
"I am a bit worried to tell you," he whispers back. "Can I guess?" He nods. "You fear my new found freedom is temporary. You fear leaving me alone will find me a mess in my head. You fear I might check out again. You fear you might lose me to my ghost husband since I saw in my dreams for the first time since the nightmares went away." I say everything that had been running through my mind all morning. "Truthfully, I am afraid as well. I know my feelings, but I do fear that something will come along and hit me like a wall and stop the happiness in my heart." He looks up into my eyes. "How do you know me so well?" he asks. I laugh, pulling him up as I stand. "Well, I might have been guilt-ridden and trying to deny the depth of my feelings for you the past six years, Min Yoon-Gi, but that doesn't mean I don't know you." He pulls me into a tight hug, anxiety packed into his thin body. "Promise me you will call me if you feel yourself slipping," he says into my hair, so close to my neck that I feel his breath. "Of course. You are my savior. Now, stop moping and come on." I pull back and intertwine my hand in his. I pull him out the back door.
My bakery is about five blocks from our home, the studio just three more from that, so we usually walk when the weather cooperates. It's amazing how peaceful everything is while walking hand in hand with Yoon-Gi. We wave at Bona as we pass her coffee shop, responding to her smile as she sees us hand in hand. I'll stop in later to explain the realization I had last night. She kept telling me it would eventually come. I was beginning to lose hope. "Do you think the staff at the bakery are keeping everything to your standard?"
"Yea, I think they are keeping it up. They understand why I want things done a certain way. I love it when they bring me the new ideas though. It's probably one of my favorite things. Soo-young asked me about adding Snickerdoodles to the line of cookies we make. I didn't even think about it, but when I made them at Christmas, they were a big hit."
"Those are the cinnamon ones I like so much, yes?" he asks. I nod, "Yea. It's funny the different requests we get, you know? Even though we've lived here for so long, I am still sometimes surprised by the items that are loved, most of the most popular ones here are the ones overlooked in the states. I think it'll become more common as the bakery is open longer."
"Yea, it's not even a year old yet. Although, it is coming up, isn't it?" Even though the bakery is still another block away and around the next corner, you can already smell the pastries in the air. "Yes, just a bit over a month, the middle of June." I look up to see the street my little American bakery is nestled on. I smile, a bakery was something I always wanted to do, but there are so many in the states. I have sold different American style baked goods randomly out of my house throughout the last four years. One day Bona asked me why I didn't just quit being a therapist and open my bakery since it made me so happy. I was unsure it would do well, but it has thrived.
"This walk was too short," Yoon-Gi says as we approach the bakery. I turn to him and see a little pout forming on his lips. "Silly, you have to go to work," I say, lightly touching his bottom lip. "I doubt the kids will be back at an early time," he says, "Want to have dinner somewhere?" I raise my eyebrows, "Why, Min Yoon-Gi, do you have a fever? You want to go out?" I wink, and he smiles his adorable gummy smile. "Yea, well, right now I am feeling like it," he laughs. "It's fine either way for me, just let me know. But you make plans just in case dealing with the trainees make you not want to. If that happens, I'll pick something up on the way home to cook." He nods, "Ok. I'll talk to you soon." He kisses my forehead and starts walking toward in the direction of the dorm. "I love you," I call to his back. He turns, smiling and waves.
I walk into the bakery; a small chime runs through the little area. A counter with bar stools runs almost the whole length of the right-hand side, to the left is the display cases, lined with many different American pastries, cakes, cookies, and candies. I hear a faint greeting from the back of the store. "It's ok, it's me," I call.
"Leigh!" I hear closer this time. "I wasn't expecting you until after the weekend. Did the graduation dinner go well?" Soo-young, the manager of the bakery, comes into view, her straight black hair tied up on her head, glasses sliding down her nose as she balances a tray of blueberry donuts. I quickly go to her and take the dish.
"It did, it was very nice. I am sad you were not able to come, but I know you and your family were celebrating the wedding." I slide the tray into its spot and turning back to Soo-young. "How did it go? I hope Min-Ki and San-Hae were able to get through the stress successfully…..you too, Soo-young." She smiles at me, "Yes, it was not as stressful as I thought it would be. Min-Ki was sad you could not make it, but he also understood, these things happen. The enjoyed their gift from the Min family," she says, bowing. This action was something I still struggled with when it came to those I considered friends. I bow back, "Of course. I am excited to see the photos."
I pull my crossbody off and place it under the counter. "How has business been? Are we low on anything. Do you need anything?" I feel a bit lost since I am used to being here every day, letting the staff run the store without me for the last week was nerve-racking. However, I don't want them to feel like I lack confidence in them. "I know I said I would not be back until Monday, but I got bored at home. You know it's difficult for me to stay still for long." I look around the store; it is so beautiful, everything in its place. I wanted to go for a 1950's American Soda-Shop feel. To me, it is a very relaxing atmosphere.
I hear a laugh and smile in response. "I knew you'd be back before Monday, Leigh. You long to be busy. Business is perfect; we've been getting busier in the mornings, people are enjoying the Americano coffee and savory pastries we started right before your little break. I've had Hyun preparing and measuring out the doughs the night before as we do with most of the others. We may consider looking to get someone to come in a bit earlier to start the baking if business keeps going the way it has been. Or maybe someone to help Hyun prepare at night." I nod.
"That's great, and yes, we can defiantly do that, if you feel it is needed. You are my eyes and ears; I just perfect the recipes. Let me look at the books with Ye'un to see if one or two new hires are possible. Is she upstairs?" I ask, making my way toward the little stairway to the little office space above the bakery. "She is. I say two if we can do it. We are getting pretty busy." I smile, "Sure thing, thank you, Soo-young. You are amazing." She bows again as we hear the bell and a man in a business suit comes in. I faintly hear Soo-young greet him in Korean as I head upstairs.
"Ye'un?" I call as I near the office. "Leigh!" I hear the gruff voice of the manager over all things numbers for the bakery. "You just could not stay away, could you?" I laugh as the office comes into view. "Of course not." Ye'un is at one of the desks, papers stacked neatly in front of her, her hands hovering over a keyboard. "You all know me so well." She smiles. "I hear business has picked up?" She nods as I come to stand next to her. She is working on the most current week's spreadsheet. I am pretty good with numbers, but the speed that she can balance all the books makes my head spin.
"Oh yes, we've been doing well, as you know, out of the red within the first three months, but this is different. Word of our little bakery has gotten out and we not only have a steady stream but have picked up a good amount not only in the morning but for a lunch hour as well." I nod, scanning the numbers. "Wonderful, I was unsure how well we'd do. How do you feel of adding more staff?" I ask. She nods, "Yes, we can afford two, maybe even up to four more. And they are needed for both prep and service." I go to sit at my own, much smaller desk on the other side of the room. "I'll get an ad out. I think I'll hire one service, mid-morning to close, one prep at night with Hyun and one to help with the early morning baking with Ae-Ra." "Sounds good to me," Ye'un says, already returning to the invoices in front of her. I open my laptop and start preparing the ad. I'll have either Soo-young or Ye'un make sure I have written it correctly before I send it over.
After getting the approval from both Soo-young and Ye'un, I start thinking of what to do to celebrate the bakery's one year anniversary. I think about calling Kayden's cousin, Erin, to see if she might fly out to help me make an elaborate cake. I could bake delicious tasting cakes, but she was able to sculpt and decorate them in so much detail. I check the time, it's almost 1 pm here, so it's about 4 am where she is. So I don't forget, I send her a quick message requesting she give me a call when she woke up for the day. I sit back in my seat, thinking of the different recipes I'd love to try for the summer season and anniversary. I find myself staring at the picture of myself and Yoon-Gi taken outside the bakery the day it opened. It was one of my better days; I was so blissful, excited about the baking and just letting myself be happy. I loved this picture of us, we were out front, we had just posed for a few pictures, and he had turned me to look at him. I don't remember exactly what he said at that moment, but I do remember laughing and trying to hide my face, embarrassed by his words. Rose had snapped a picture, right at the moment that he is smiling so big and I am in the process of bringing my hands to my face to try to hide my laugh. Even before today, I could see the love I have for him in this picture. How happy he makes me.
I am not sure exactly how long I sat at my computer lost in my thoughts and memories, but I come back to my senses and find myself looking out the window into the clouds. I look down at my computer; it's almost two now. The bakery closes in just a few hours; we do not do a dinner service, closing not long after the kids get out of school and have time to come by for a snack. I stand up and stretch. "I think I am going to head it. I have a few people I need to see off to the airport this afternoon," I say to Ye'un. "Sure thing. I'll let you know if we get anyone interested in the positions." I smile, "Thank you, Ye'un." I head downstairs. I hear Hyun already in the back prepping the various doughs for tomorrow's items. He seems to be a bit early, which is terrific.
"Soo-young, are you taking down the times Hyun is getting here? I know how he is about trying not to clock in too early even though I have told him I do not mind." She smiles and pulls a small notepad out of her apron pocket. "Of course. I have Ye'un adjust his payments to match. I've also been checking the cameras to be sure he is not staying after without telling us too. He works so hard." "I know, he is such a wonderful boy, and I know he has been helping his father as well. I want him to get paid for every moment he is here." She nods. "You are a great boss, Leigh. You treat us like family. Helping me the way you did for the wedding…" "You are family. And you deserved every portion of that bonus," I say, getting my crossbody and slinging it over my head. "Oh! Maybe for our one year anniversary, we'll start doing lunch deliveries?" I say. "I think that will go over very well!" she replies. Four regular customers come in right then. "You good, Soo-young?" I ask, pausing before walking around the counter. "Oh yes, you go. I'll see you soon!" I smile and greet the customers, "Jung-Woo, Sun-Ja, Gun, Eun-Soo," I bow to each of them. They bow back, "Min Leigh, congratulations on your daughter's graduation," Eun-Soo says. "Thank you, congratulations on your son's graduation as well. Sun-Ja and Jung-Woo, your children as well. Gun, your son, is enlisting in the military, correct?" I ask, holding the door handle. "Yes, Min Leigh." "You must be so proud," I say. "We are, my wife and I. He is an honorable boy, but studies are not his thing." He seems sad about that part. "No matter, studies are not for everyone. We all have our talents." I smile and receive one in return. "Good day to you all," I saw, one last bow and I step out of the bakery.