A/N: And here is chapter 6. Kara has a lot of things to juggle with. Also, sorry for the delay in updates. I got caught up in the holiday rush with the fam and then I got sick :( I'm feeling better now though!
"Kara." Alex said, with a look of understanding as Kara paced back and forth in her living room during their traditional Danvers sisters' night in. Her sister was practically blurting it all out, processing her emotions, coming into one realization after another, all from one afternoon.
One afternoon, as Kara recounted, where she allowed herself to look deep within herself about how she felt by the predicaments that surrounded them. About James' mistakes, Lena's stance, about the relationship the two had, and about what Kara truly felt. Alex would be proud at her, if only life was simple. If only things were perfect and Kara wasn't someone who cared and loved her friends and family so much so that she would prioritize them over herself.
And like a dam, Kara broke, emotions all pouring out. A struggle between what she wanted and what she knew she had to do emerging.
The selfish thing to do, and the not selfish thing to do.
And Alex could see how much it was tearing Kara apart.
The selfish thing, for Kara at least, of telling Lena how she felt, with things between her and James up in the air.
The selfless thing of waiting on the side, waiting on something that may never happen, and letting things unfold with James and Lena to see if they would ever fit each other like they were both trying so hard to do.
The selfish thing of telling Lena she was Supergirl – which Alex and Kara both knew would be an inevitability should Kara tell her how she felt because there was no way they could ever have a real functioning relationship if they kept big secrets like that from each other – risk whatever fallout, and possibly put her life in danger.
The selfless thing of letting her go, be with anyone else if not with James, to keep her safe – granted Alex knew that Lena's life was practically already in danger every week or so, but with knowing Kara is Supergirl, the CEO's life being in peril would exponentially increase.
"Kara." Alex repeated, her voice a little louder than before seeing as her sister just wouldn't stop rambling.
Kara came to an abrupt halt, turning swiftly to look at Alex teary eyed. She always had been the emotional type.
Surprised to actually see Kara listening to her, Alex realized that she didn't actually know what to say. A few minutes of silence pass them by before Alex took a deep breath and walked up to where her sister stood.
"The world means nothing to me if you don't live in it. If Ma-, well… you know…" Alex started saying as she took Kara's hands in her own. "And it means nothing to me, living with the absence of their love."
"But Alex…" Kara argued back. In her eyes Alex could see all the worries that clouded her mind, from how Lena would react if she told her how she felt and to how she would react if she found out she was Supergirl, and even to what her enemies would do if they find out that Supergirl had affections for a certain Luthor, up to the most catastrophic of outcomes that would cause Kara great pain and grief and suffering.
Her sister was scared, but to Alex that was a good thing. It meant she has something to lose.
It meant she had something to protect.
It meant that she had everything to fight for.
"Kara, do you love me?" Alex then settle on asking. There was no making sense with Kara when she's too blinded by all that could go wrong.
"Yes, Alex, what are you even doing asking me that?" Kara answered, throwing her sister a curious look. "You are my family. Of course I love you. Eliza and Jeremiah too."
"And Clark?" Alex pressed on.
"He's my cousin. My blood. Of course."
"And Winn? James? J'onn? Brainy? All our friends?" Alex went on.
"Yes, Alex. I love all of you." Kara replied, not seeing where this was going. "What does this have to do with-"
Alex cut Kara short of her question. "Do you love Lena?"
Pause.
Kara was about to say yes, that she of course she loved her – that was clearly the cause of the current dilemma – but the words had difficulty of forming.
"Can you say you love her?" Alex continued.
"I- I- of…" Kara stammered hit with the truth that she had slowly come to realize earlier on.
"I don't doubt that you can, Kara." Alex then replied. "It's clear as day when people look at the two of you, when they see how you care about her. But the thing is, you've never really said it out loud before. You love me because I'm your sister, you love Winn, James, Brainy, J'onn, and the others because they're your friends and family. It's easy to say for us, but when it comes to Lena, it's hard. Because it comes from a different place. Because saying it, that you love her, whether it's you meaning it as a friend, is going to be difficult for the first time. Deep down, in your subconscious when you were still unaware of it, you know that you love her in a different and unconditional way. It's difficult because you know, if you say it out loud it becomes real, it makes you vulnerable to its reality, and no matter what you do, you can never take it back."
"Alex…" Kara tried to say, as if she was about to reason with her but Alex simply shook her head.
"You need to clear your mind. Stop listening to it. Start listening to your heart. You know, deep down you do, what the answers are to your question. You know what you need to do. Burying it inside won't make it disappear. If she resents you for your secrets, and if that stops her from loving you too, then I don't think she deserves you. If she doesn't feel the same way back, Kara, I don't think Lena would abandon you and I'll be here to mend your heart. But Kara, I've seen the way she looks at you too. I'm not saying it's the absolute truth, what happens next depends on both of you. I'm just saying, start listening to your heart when it comes to matters of the heart. Otherwise, well, you'll regret it one day."
Kara simply nodded, processing what Alex just had said. Alex smiled and pulled her sister in a hug. "And if you need me, I'll be here. Let me worry about the world for now, return the favor. You focus on clearing your mind and heart, and getting the girl this time."
Kara chuckled as she pulled out of the hug.
And for the first time that evening she smiled, relieving Alex's worried heart for her sister.
A/N Pt2: We'll be back at the Kent Farm because we need to have a conversation form one Super to another. Also, I'm busy wrapping up my grad studies this month (yay!) but this means that the updates might get irregular. I'll try to get them up as soon as possible. Since the next chapter is short, it should also be up tonight if not tomorrow!