The bus pulls up to our stop, and we silently climb down. I stop in front of him and turn. "What is it?" I ask. In the darkness, I see that his face is a bit flushed. "I was thinking of the night I admitted I was in love with you. I knew it in my heart but rejected it. It made me so miserable." He takes my hand again, and we start walking home. "Why would you be embarrassed about the memory?" I asked, not sure about how the words coming after would make me feel. I can tell he is pondering his words carefully. He does this sometimes when he wants to make sure he can express himself exactly right to avoid confusions. As we walk around to come in the backyard, we hear music lightly drifting out. "Can we talk about it later?" he asks. "Of course we can," I answer, looking at him and smiling. He smiles back in response, but I can tell he is worried I am upset. I look in his eyes. "It's ok," I say. I wait just a moment to make sure he relaxes a bit before I pull him into the backyard.
Nova, Liam, Mary, Rose, Jimin and Jin are all sitting around the stone fire pit. "Hey guys," I say when they look up. We hear a chorus of hellos. "Jimin, Jin-hyung," Yoon-Gi says, going to the bar to make himself a drink, "Why are you always at my house?" I snicker and join him. He is making himself a whiskey on the rocks, I point to it and back to myself as I listen to Jin answer, "You are just so much fun to be around, Yoon-Gi." Yoon-Gi hands me my drink and grimaces. "When did that happen?" he asks, pouting. I laugh along with everyone else. Yoon-Gi looks at me, narrowing his eyes, "It's you! You made me soft!" he says, pointing an accusing finger at me. This makes everyone else laugh harder. "Aww, my poor Yoonie." I walk to him and kiss his cheek, "I'm so sorry I've made you desirable to your friends who have loved you for about half your life. Who desired to spend time with you long before we ever met." He sticks his bottom lip out a bit more. I lightly kiss him on his lips, and he automatically smiles. "You are forgiven," he says, wrapping his arms around my waist. He leans down and lightly kisses my lips again. I close my eyes, and we continue, our soft kiss becoming more intense as the moment's pass.
A small cough pulls us apart; it sounded like Jimin. I look over at our family, immediately going red as the way I am curved around Yoon-Gi's body was not really for others to see. I try to step away, but Yoon-Gi tightens his grip. "What? We're in our second honeymoon phase, deal with it." I snicker and hide my face in his chest. "Oh no, it's nice to see. Well, it made my face a bit red, but still nice to see," Jin says. I smile at him. You can tell by the look on his face that he heard the story of what happened last night. I glance at Jimin who is also smiling.
Yoon-Gi redirects his focus to Mary as he loosens his grip on me enough to step back to where he has one arm around my waist. "Mary, how did you like Tae and Sidda's?" he asks. I take a sip of my drink and glance back at Jimin. He hasn't taken his eyes off me, and I can tell he's a bit worried about something. He still has a slight smile on his face as Mary, Nova and Rose talk about the trip and the farm with Yoon-Gi. I raise my eyebrow and slightly nod toward the back door. His smile becomes even more pronounced, and he slightly nods. I pull Yoon-Gi down to whisper in his ear. "Jimin needs to talk to me; we'll be right back." Yoon-Gi just slightly nods in response. Jimin is already heading into the back door, and I follow him.
The house is slightly dark. I pull my shoes off by the door and look around. I don't see Jimin in the kitchen, so I walk into the living room. He is sitting on the overstuffed couch. He looks up when I come in, his small smile still on his face and he pats the space next to him. I sit, glad that his expression hasn't changed from outside. Out of all the guys, it's a tie between Jimin and Hobi at who can hide their true feelings the best. He takes my hand once I sit and I place mine on top of his. "What's up?" I ask.
"Korean?" he asks. He is fluent in English, but I know he is more comfortable speaking in the native language. "Of course," I answer. His smile widens. "Are you ok?" he asks. I nod, a bit surprised at this course of conversation. I guess I shouldn't be, other than Yoon-Gi, Jimin is the one who has spent the most time with my girls and I. "I am, Jiminie. There's no need for you to worry. I have forgiven myself, I have let go of the past, accepted it, and now I am free to love Yoon-Gi the way he deserves." He tightens his grip on my hand, "Noona, this is amazing news. Everyone seems so much lighter today: Rose, Nova, Mary, hyung and you. It is so amazing to see. I hope to find love like yours and Yoon-Gi's." I smile and pat his hand. "You will, my friend. You will. Tell me though. How was Rose today? Did they speak with Sidda about it?" He nods, "Yes, the girls went for a walk, well, for about an hour honestly. I could tell they talked about some intense things because they all had been crying when they returned. Even Sidda." I let out a little snicker and nod. "Good." I look toward the backyard. "Let's go back to the others," I say, standing. He stands with me and quickly pulls me into a tight hug. "I am so relieved you are finally on your way to healing," he says. I pat his back, "Me too, Jimin. Me too." He releases me, and we walk together back into the yard.
Yoon-Gi was sitting on one of the bigger chairs around the pit with everyone else. There is soft instrumental music playing, and at least two different conversations are going on quietly. I notice that Yoon-Gi took my drink and sat it on the table next to his chair. I smirk and go to sit next to him. He automatically pulls me closer to his side. I am a bit surprised, and delighted, by the PDA. Other than holding my hand, Yoon-Gi doesn't show much affection in front of others. It's kind of nice since we have both been so reserved in our relationship. The night air is a bit cool, so I gladly lean into Yoon-Gi's side, resting my head on my shoulder. I listen to snippets of Mary, Jin, Nova, and Liam talking about the sights seen on the Beach Train earlier this week and Rose and Jimin talking about the upcoming tour. I take a deep breath and release a content sigh. I feel Yoon-Gi's arm tighten around me. I tilt my head up, refusing to move from his shoulder. He looks down at me, questions in his eyes.
I smile. "I cannot remember the last time I was this happy. I mean, I've been happy since Kayden died, mainly because of you, but the sadness always took back over. It always just moments here and there. But today, it's been one who day and no ache, no guilt, no pain," I say softly. "And now, being able to snuggle to your side in front of family and not feel awkward. Happy is not even the correct word for it. There is no word big enough to explain what I feel right now." He smiles and kisses my forehead. I notice that everyone has stopped talking. I look over and notice them all looking at us. I immediately go red. "What?" I ask the group. I look at all the different faces. Mary is smiling, such a big smile. Nova is leaning into Liam and has a smirk on her face. Liam, such a wonderful man my son-in-law is, also has a grin on his face. Jin is looking at Yoon-Gi, a small, sweet smile playing at his lips. Jimin has such a look of relief all over his face. Almost like he has been holding his breath in response to this moment. Rose has an almost shocked look on her face as if she expected me to revert at any moment. Oh, my child, always so worried. I smile widely at her, trying to convey that it is ok. Her face showed immediate relief.
"No really, I already told you all. Second honeymoon phase, it's always worse than the first. Stop looking and eavesdropping," Yoon-Gi says, a smirk on his face and one thumb lightly rubbing one side of my face. "Let's talk about something else," I suggest. "Mary, did you enjoy your trip to Korea?"
"It's been amazing. I love all the trains and being able to see all the different places. I love Sidda's farm. I could live there forever. It is so peaceful. There is a little market not far from their home, Tae took Jimin and me there while the girls were spending time together. The people were so nice and patient as they explained different things to me. I know there are not many tourists there, but they were so sweet. Tae is exactly the type of person Sidda needs to be married to. She is so serious; he makes her forget that when she gets stressed. I have never seen someone make her smile or laugh as quickly as he can. Seeing them in their home makes you look at their relationship differently. "How do you mean?" Nova asks before I can. Mary sits back a bit and explains,
"For you, Nova, I could see right away why you and Liam were a great fit. You need someone who is a lot like you in every way, but also has the intuition to know when you need to be held up, because you will never ask, and has the strength to do it, just like your mother. But for Sidda she needs someone to bring her silliness out, her childish ways if you want to look at it like that. Tae needs someone to remind him when to be serious and ground him. They are opposites of each other, but it is exactly what the other needs." I nod, having made this observation when Sidda first told me they both confessed to having feelings for each other, but were afraid they would not work out because of how different their personalities are.
"Sidda and I had a conversation something along those lines a few years ago. Tae and her were getting coffee for everyone after one of the all nighters at the company. Do you guys remember? It was right after Christmas, and you were all practicing for the New Year's Eve special. The night it hit -12 Celsius, and we were all so tired we just made a giant bed on the practice room floor? Kook and Marie had just started dating, officially anyway." "Yes, that was the night we set up that projector and watched silly stuff all night, right?" Jimin asked. I nod, sitting up a bit. "Yes. While they were walking to get our order from that little shop that used to be down on the corner Tae almost fell on the ice. I guess he like grabbed her arm and they like fell together. Now, you all know how Sidda would have reacted if that was any of us. She would have gotten so mad. But she laughed. Has she not told any of you this story?" I ask, leaning forward, my elbows on my knees. Everyone shakes their heads. "Tae told us a bit of it, but not much. I think he was in a daze when they got back honestly," Jimin says, laughing.