"So after they fell Tae was expecting Sidda to get angry, like normal, you know? She's always been so serious about everything. But instead she just started laughing, laying in the snow, they just laughed. Tae got up and helped her up. She said after they stood up he didn't let go of her hand, so she didn't either. They just walked together hand in hand to the coffee shop. Before they went inside Sidda said Tae turned to her and said something along the lines of, 'Sidda, I like to hold your hand and make you laugh. Would you consider going on a date with me?' When she told me that I was a bit shocked honestly. Of course, because she's my daughter, my thoughts went to age. Then I thought about myself and Yoon-Gi. How could I say anything when I'm nine years older than him?" I pause and look back at him, a small smirk on his face. "Of course, after I thought about it a bit I realized how much they balance one another," I say, turning back to everyone. Jin laughs, "They do. They are so opposite it is freaky they found each other, you know? Tae was so nervous on the day of the first date. He kept talking about fearing he'd say the wrong thing, remember?" Jin points at Yoon-Gi. I hear Yoon-Gi laugh and say, "Yes, we were all practicing the newest choreography. He kept getting confused and staring off into space. During a break I caught him talking to Jiminie on the phone. He didn't think I could hear him. He said he was not only worried about saying the wrong thing with Sidda but because he had heard me talk about how I felt about the girls dating." I lean back as Yoon-Gi leans forward, getting into the story like he likes to do.
"I remember that he sounded so scared. I was at the studio, Joon was teaching me about producing, so I couldn't come help calm him down," Jimin says. Yoon-Gi nods. "Yea. I waited until he hung up with you and then asked him to walk with me to the wardrobe room. I wish I had a picture of his face." Jin laughs, "Oh yes. I will never forget that face!" He goes into an exaggerated impersonation of different nervous faces, making all of us laugh. Yoon-Gi sits back and takes my hand.
"As we walked I asked him how he was feeling about the date," Yoon-Gi said as the laughter dies down. "He said he was so nervous he'd do or say something stupid. I remember him turning to me, looking at me with those big eyes, so nervous, and telling me that he knew he didn't think like other people and he didn't want to embarrass himself by acting that way." Yoon-Gi shakes his head at the memory. "Ah, but that's who he is!" Nova says, waving her hand. "Sidda always loved that part of Tae; she used to say she felt so relaxed around him and one of the biggest reasons is because you never knew what you were going to hear come from his mouth." There are a few nods. "Yes, that is basically what I told him. That Sidda had been around him for so long that she knew how he was. That he just needed to be himself and they would have a great time," Jimin says.
"Me too," Jin said. "It felt like an unnecessary thing to be stressed over when you know someone so well." I look at Yoon-Gi as Jin finishes his sentence, "I don't know about that. Even when you know someone really, really well going on dates can make you feel…." I stop, looking for the correct word. Yoon-Gi looks at me, "Pressure. There is a lot of pressure that surrounds officially dating someone. Especially if you are already friends." I nod, "Then add in who you all are. I know you all think about the effect your fame will have on someone you care about." Jin, Jimin and Yoon-Gi nod. "It takes a unique person to be able to handle ARMY, that is for sure," Yoon-Gi says.
"It's funny though because Sidda said the same thing to us," Nova says, looking at Rose. Rose nods, "Yea, she was so worried and was thinking that Tae might look at her in a different light. As we all know, however, they succeeded during that first date though," Rose says. We all nod. "It is the best thing to watch people fall in love, then watch them realize it. It's different when it is your children," I say, lightly rubbing my thumb along Yoon-Gi's. Everyone stays quiet for a few moments. I let the music playing fill my mind and slightly lean into Yoon-Gi's shoulder.
"Yoon-Gi, you never said what you told Tae about your feelings," Mary says, pulling us all out of our thoughts. When Yoon-Gi speaks, I hear the smile in his voice. "I didn't get to the normal, 'I'll kill you if you hurt her' thing like father normally does. I told him how much I loved Sidda, how much I loved him and how I hope they could make each other extremely happy. I told him he didn't need extra pressure of worrying about my reaction to the dating, but he needed to relax and be himself. I knew that if they both did that they would be fine. I felt they might have failed if they knew we were looking to hard," I smile. I didn't know exactly what he said to Tae, but I did know he was supportive even though he was worried. "That is almost the same talk you had with me," Liam says, smiling at Yoon-Gi. Yoon-Gi nods, "Yes. It is most effective because it is true. I think everyone understands that if you hurt my children I'll be angry, but first, it's two ways, they have the opportunity to hurt you as well. And I know these girls if they feel the need they can be very hurtful. And second, they don't need to me add pressure to their relationships when those relationships themselves have enough pressure as it is."
It never ceases to amaze me how Yoon-Gi sees the girls, how he treats them, the respect and undeniable love he has for them all. Nova smiles at Yoon-Gi, out of all the girls she was always the one who was a bit standoffish to him. She knew long before did that he had feelings for me. "Yoon-Gi," she says. "Nova," he answers. "Thank you," she says, playing with the hem of Liam's shirt. Yoon-Gi looks at her, a question in his eyes. "For being a father to us when you didn't have to. For loving our mother and us so much. For not giving up on mom. For bringing her back to us. I knew you would do that for us one day. You are the only one who could." She looks at me, and I smile. Yoon-Gi leans up a bit, "It is my pleasure, my child. You have no idea. Your family saved me just as much as I saved you all." The both bow just a bit at one another and leave it at that.
I look at my phone; it's almost eleven. "Well, my friends and family, it is getting late," I say. "Yea, it's time to get on," Jin and Jimin both say. "We need to stop by Hobi's before heading home," Jimin adds. "Naw, that's just me," Jin says. "I'll go to, hyung. We only live a few blocks from each other," Jimin says.
"We all flights in the morning too. Liam and I fly out at 10. Grandmaw, when is yours again?" Nova asks. Jin and Jimin walk toward the back gate, Jimin giving Rose a one-armed hug before she locks the gate behind them. "It's at 11," Mary answers, also standing. Mary, Nova, and Rose all bid us goodnight. "Do you need help cleaning up?" Liam asks, looking after Nova as she walks hand in hand in the house with Rose, their heads down, speaking quietly to one another. I wave him off, "No, sweetheart, go on." He smiles and follows the girls into the house. I settle myself back into my seat, sipping my drink. Yoon-Gi also sips on his drink, but he has something on his mind. "What's going on in your brain?" I ask, sitting my empty cup down. He looks at me, "I was still thinking about the night I admitted my feelings for you. It must have been, what, almost seven years ago now?" It's almost like he is asking himself. "Yea, that's right," he answers his question. "Remember the three months I spent at your old home? During the winter?" I nod, "Yes, it was the best Christmas we had since Kayden died. I was so grateful to have you there." He looks at me. "I was so grateful to be there. I needed to recharge, to refocus. I was losing who I was. I felt so much pressure to be someone the public, the fans, my family, hell even the brothers, had made me out to be. Of course, when it came to the guys, they didn't feel that way, but it's how I felt." I nod, remembering. "I remember us having so many discussions about that. I was so worried about you. Of course, I thought it was just because we were such good friends. It took me a bit to realize the depth of my concern was for a different reason." He nods, looking down.
"I came home at the end of January. We had to get ready for the next leg of that tour. I remember feeling like I was missing something. I was happier; I was working on my music more, discussing with the company using more of the songs I wrote on the upcoming album. But I felt lost. We were at the hotel in Japan when Jimin told me you were planning to visit during your birthday. He was excited because he had been wanting to do something nice for you and thought doing a small birthday party would be great. I remember his face falling as he looked at me. I am not sure what my face was showing, but it was enough to make his stop talking…