Courage Is A Woman
Chapter 12. Moments
"In the matter of a moment
Lost till the end of time,
It's the evening of another day
And the end of mine."
~Alan Parsons Project
'I'm going to miss you,' Scully said.
They had been sitting and talking on Liam's roof for quite some time, although neither of them knew exactly how long they had silently agreed not to care and to just take their time. Scully had been watching Stella intently throughout their conversation, and somehow it had suddenly struck her that she wasn't going to have this tomorrow. Stella had witnessed the struggle and she'd decided not to comment on Dana's attention to her because she knew she needed this, but at Scully's confession she sighed deeply and looked out across the water. 'Let's not dwell on the future or the past,' she answered. 'There are solutions in neither of them and thinking about it will just drive you mad.' 'I need to consider the future, Stella,' Scully reminded her softly, standing up to walk to the glass wall to overlook Brooklyn. 'Not at this moment,' Stella said and watched as Dana put distance between them. 'What do you want to do next?' she tried to divert Dana's line of thought to keep her from falling too deeply into the abyss that was tomorrow. 'Let's head back to the hotel,' Scully said without looking at Stella, 'I don't feel like seeing any more people today.' Stella stood and joined Scully on the edge of the building. 'You'll be wasting your time,' she murmured into the wind that was carelessly blowing in their hair. 'Sounds good to me,' Scully answered.
Stella was happy to be heading back to the hotel with Dana, she just hoped Dana had the right motivation. All she wanted to do was spend quality time with this woman instead of helplessly wait for tomorrow to arrive, but she wasn't sure Dana knew how to do that. Stella opened the door to the café for Dana and she followed her inside and into the elevator. They seemed to be all alone in the world, creating their own little universe like they had yesterday. It had truly been a blessing to spend time up here with Dana and Stella reminded herself to thank Liam later. As they exited into the lobby he was nowhere to be seen, so Stella indicated for Dana to hold on as she walked to the reception desk. 'Will you give this to Liam and tell him thanks,' she said to the girl behind the desk as she handed over the keys. 'Yes ma'am,' the girl answered and Stella nodded. 'Good,' she said before she walked back over to Dana. 'Let's go,' she said and followed her out. 'I would have liked to thank Liam,' Scully said as they walked back through the greenery towards the subway station. 'I have no idea where he is, he might be on a plane or just out to do groceries, you never really know with Liam,' Stella answered. 'It's why we haven't seen much of each other. He's all over the place.' Scully smiled. 'Reminds me of Mulder,' she said wistfully. 'He used to drag me all over the country to chase strange phenomena and exotic cases.' Stella smiled back at her. 'Sounds exciting.' 'It was,' Scully sighed. 'At the time, I hated it, but it was really something special.' 'Do you miss it?' Stella asked and Scully looked at her, nodding. 'I don't miss the rain and the mud he used to drag me through, but I miss the passion he had back then.' 'Passions change,' Stella pondered out loud. 'As human beings we're hardwired to get bored, to keep searching for that one thing that will fulfill us for the rest of our lives without knowing if such a thing even exists. We try to answer the question we rarely dare to ask ourselves. Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? And in trying to find the answer we hope to find ourselves.' Scully regarded Stella for a moment. 'I've seen people lose themselves in the search of something beyond what they have the ability to comprehend,' she said. 'I just hope I can save Mulder from that fate.' 'It's not your responsibility to save him,' Stella said quietly because she knew that Scully neither needed nor wanted to be told this. It probably wasn't the first time anyone had told her this either. 'I know,' Scully answered, 'but we've been keeping each other safe for years. It's kind of… in our nature.' Stella shrugged, knowing she didn't know enough about this Mulder to make a fair deduction. 'Just make sure it's worth it,' she muttered. 'Come on.' Somewhere in the past few minutes the idea of getting the subway had been abandoned and Stella was hailing a cab. One pulled over and Scully got in before her, giving the driver the address. It would be a welcome distraction, being above ground instead of hidden below the solid rock that made up New York's unyielding foundation. Silence stretched between them as the wheels of the yellow cab drove them closer to their hotel, closer to that dreaded moment, closer to that point where reality would strike like a stake through the heart and either one or both of them would have to pray to their Gods to survive. Stella envied Dana at that thought – she had a God to believe in. Stella's faith had been challenged a long time ago and she was almost certain that if He was up there he had long ago given up on her. She was alone, one mind amongst many but no one to share her deepest thoughts with and it was that kind of loneliness she had always liked, but it was the one thing she came to fear as the day crept on.
They reached the hotel fairly quickly, and thirty minutes later they were back up in Stella's hotel room. Scully had initially wanted to go to her room, but Stella had softly pushed her on a few doors down the hall, thinking the energy there would be less charged. Scully felt affected by everything that had been happening the past few days and she felt more and more as if she was losing her grip on reality even more, and Stella knew that feeling and knew to look for it in others. 'Come on,' she said as she took off her coat and threw it on the chair next to the door. 'I want to take a bath with you.'
It was such a delicate thing to say, just a few words, but the gravity behind them deeply touched Scully. 'Okay,' she nodded and suddenly felt slightly on edge. She followed Stella into the room and as Stella turned around Dana walked into her arms, hugging her close for a sweet moment. She had been waiting to do that since they had left the roof, sensing Stella's vulnerability after taking Dana to her hideaway. It must have been a very scary feeling, Scully knew, as she was familiar with what it was like to trust someone like that. Stella had given her a gift by trusting her with this secret, and with it came all the secrets she hadn't yet told her but Scully knew to be just below the surface. Scully was aware of their mutual feeling of vulnerability and fragility, and she knew it would most likely stay with them for the rest of their time in the city, and it was as unnerving as it was freeing.
Stella collected some things and headed for the bathroom, reeling Dana in with a look over her shoulders, making sure she was following. 'Come on,' she whispered and closed the door behind them. The hotel bathroom was small, but it easily held them both as they stood together at the edge of Stella's bathtub. She turned on the taps to fill it up and Scully felt a slightly awkward silence stretch between them. Stella busied herself with finding her favorite scent in the hotel toiletries, which she seemed to have a lot more of than Scully, and Scully waited patiently for Stella to turn back to her. When she did, their eyes met and Scully slowly breathed out. 'I'm okay,' she answered the unasked question. 'I know,' Stella assured her sweetly as she started to undress herself. It wasn't methodical, but it wasn't meant to be seductive or overly sexy and Scully appreciated the normality of it as she followed Stella's lead. Stella watched her intently throughout the process, taking note of every layer shed by Dana, starting with her thick cardigan. Her T-shirt followed and Stella stepped in closer to help with her bra, only to step back to watch it fall down. Dana bravely kept eye contact with Stella as she let the straps slide down her arms. She tried to gracefully drop the piece of black lace on the floor but she almost dropped in the tub, causing Stella to chuckle and Dana to blush as she realized her near-miss. Stella took off her panties before getting in the tub and watching Dana as she removed the last pieces of clothing as well. There was a quiet air hanging around them, thick in nature, like exiting a house surrounded by fresh snow. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was slightly slowing them down and it exposed every single step they took as something new and precious. Stella gestured to Dana to join her as she sat down in the warm water, the tap still filling the bath with more water and bubbles every second. Scully reached for a hair tie she spotted on the sink but Stella stopped her with a gentle hand on the wrist. 'Leave it,' she said, and Scully looked at Stella's blonde locks for a moment. 'It's going to get wet,' she pointlessly warned herself and Stella. Stella nodded. 'Yes, it is.' Dana let her eyes wander down Stella's body for a moment to where soft, slick skin met a rim of growing foam before she joined her. It was the most natural thing in the world to sit with her back against Stella's chest, feeling Stella raise her knees so Scully could sit between them, and it was a perfect fit with the bathtub that seemed to be created for this purpose and this purpose only: To quietly hold two women, to safeguard them and to shelter them for a few precious minutes when they needed it most.
Stella felt Dana settle her body against hers, feeling Dana's skin cold against hers and watching as a waterfall of red hair descended in front of her. She closed her eyes momentarily, reveling in the anonymity of the moment as Dana was fully unaware of Stella for a sweet second. Stella inhaled the scent coming off Scully's hair, committing it to memory, giving it a special corner in her mind that she hoped would forever and always be dedicated to Dana Scully. As Dana sat down Stella's knees came up next to her thighs, and Stella smiled contently when Dana leaned back against her left shoulder. It was comfortable, intimate and very private and it was everything Stella had never wanted, but also everything she couldn't live without anymore. 'Hold me,' Scully whispered, barely audible above the sound of the water crashing down, but Stella heard it nonetheless because it was Scully's heart that screamed the words louder than any voice ever could. She let her hands casually join Dana's on her tummy, below the waterline, just underneath Dana's breasts. The skin there was incredibly soft, and her thumb wandered up and down on its own accord, earning her a small exhale as the leftover tension slowly left their bodies.
Scully closed her eyes and focused on their breathing, trying to slow down her racing heart, trying not to think about how long it had been since she'd been in a position like this. How long it had been since she'd felt anything like this. Just thinking about it made her sad and she decided with a deep sigh that that was the last of it – no more sadness, only love, happiness and appreciation was allowed between them from now on. 'Stella,' she said softly. 'Hmm,' Stella replied, not needing an answer, just letting Dana know she was there. 'Don't fall asleep,' Stella added after a few moments. 'I'm not going to be held responsible for you drowning.' Scully chuckled, her eyes still closed. 'Keep me awake, then.' Stella smiled against Scully's hair. 'I will,' she promised before pressing a soft kiss in her fiery red locks. She didn't move much, though, and Scully was glad because the water was calming and warm, the foam smelled nice and the sound of the water made her forget about everything around her except for where Stella's skin touched hers and anchored her to this reality. Carefully as not to distract the woman who was holding her so caringly she let her hands explore Stella's, travelling softly up and down Stella's fingers before nimbly moving on to her knuckles. Stella's hands were a mystery to Dana, as they seemed to hold the power to speak truths more true than Stella's lips ever could. There was no hiding from Stella's hands, not even by the woman who controlled them. Dana had seen them tremble, clutch, fidget and shake in ways that told more stories than she could ever read. Slowly she raked the tips of her nails across the back of Stella's hand before lacing their fingers together in one smooth movement. She felt Stella's lips in her hair as she continued to softly explore her fingers and hands. 'I love your hands,' she whispered and Stella shifted a little. 'They're unremarkable, but thank you,' she heard from behind. Stella's voice sounded hoarse and tired, relaxed and thick. Scully didn't reply, she just covered Stella's hands with hers as she relaxed further into Stella's shoulder. She felt her soft breasts press against her back and she stretched her legs as much as she could against the far side of the bathtub. Stella tried to sit up a little to give Scully more space and she reached over to close the tap. Scully turned her head and pressed a kiss on Stella's jawline as it was the only place she was able to reach. Stella glanced at her before sitting back against the edge, pulling Scully as close as she could. 'Let's just relax for a few minutes,' Stella said softly. 'I need this.' Scully nodded. 'I think I need it as well,' she answered and left any further explanation for later. All she did was lay back, lace her fingers through Stella's again and closed her eyes. It was all just pretend, but for a moment it was okay to pretend.
After a few minutes Stella wriggled her fingers from Dana's and softly let them travel across Dana's tummy. A smile formed on Scully's lips, because although the water was warm and their position intimately cozy she had just been thinking about what Stella would do to her in this bathtub. They had such little time left that Scully was torn between spending it in a cocoon of warm water and later blankets with this woman and spending it naked, mouths everywhere, goose bumps travelling like waves across their skins. Stella had taken the choice from her without a word and she was grateful. Scully paid close attention to Stella's fingers as they mapped her stomach, belly button and underside of her breasts before stopping right there, touching the soft curves, lying inanimately on her ribs. 'Seriously?' Scully asked incredulously, amused, but serious as hell. 'Relax, Dana,' Stella whispered into her hair. 'Just let it happen.' Stella needed this to be hers, she needed to be allowed to do this to Dana instead of doing it together. Dana understood and tried to comply, smiling. They had been at this point before and she knew that it was still important to Stella somehow. She seemed to draw strength from it and Scully knew it had something to do with detachment, as well as power, and that was something she understood but didn't necessarily like or fully agree with. She covered Stella's hand with hers and moved it up to her lips, kissing the space between her thumb and fingers. Her lips fit perfectly there and she nibbled on the soft skin there before decisively touching Stella's hand to her left breast. 'I know you need to be in control, above it somehow' she whispered, 'and I'll let you, because I love it when you are, but don't ask me to do the same to you again,' she finished softly. 'I need you with me.' Stella felt her heart clench for Dana, because in no way had she meant to be cold or controlling with her, but she knew that Dana had felt her attempts at detachment. 'Tell me if it's too much,' Stella answered in the same tone, barely a whisper that sounded like an opera in the quiet, thick and steamy air of the hotel bathroom. 'Never,' Scully said, 'But I just want this to be ours.' 'It is, my dear,' Stella said with a low voice, louder than she intended in the eerie stillness of the room. 'It's precious and it's ours alone,' she added, softer now. Scully nodded against her cheek and leaned back a little to turn her blue eyes up towards Stella's. 'Then put that aside and be here with me. Don't think about tomorrow, it's not going to hurt any more or less if we let it go for a little while and just…' Scully gestured with her free hand, splashing the water a little. She diverted her eyes, almost feeling a little ashamed. She could barely believe she was saying this, and although numerous options had crossed her mind on how to finish that sentence she decided to leave it open, unfinished, like a leaf torn too early from a tree to be abandoned in mid-air. Stella remained quiet behind her, but she felt Stella's hand on her breast slowly come to life as Stella inhaled deeply and squeezed her upper arms against Dana's. Stella's thumb caressed her nipple as her hand cupped the lower curve of her breast, finding a perfect hiding place underneath the soft globe. 'You made me promise I wouldn't disappear again,' she whispered into Dana's ear. 'I meant what I said. I'm here.' Scully nodded and sat up, Stella's hands sliding down towards her hips. She turned back towards Stella, finding her eyes and holding on to what she saw there. 'I don't want us to be sad,' she added. 'I know this feels significant but I feel content with you and that's what I need to take away from this. Let's just enjoy this for the rest of our time here.' Stella smiled slightly wickedly. 'Oh, I intend to.' 'Good,' Scully smirked. She managed to turn around and sit face to face with Stella in the tub, grabbing her wrists and pulling her in. Scully raised her feet to allow Stella's legs to slide underneath, locking them together like a puzzle. They couldn't really hug from this position, but Scully could admire Stella and the way the bubbly waterline played just above her nipples, revealing them to her depending on the movement of the water. Their quiet splashes sounded vividly through the otherwise silent room, and Scully let her hands float over Stella's breasts. She felt Stella's nipples against her palms and softly she teased them until Stella covered Scully's hands with her own and squeezed. 'Tease,' she commented, and Scully dropped a kiss to the top of her collarbone. 'Sorry,' came an empty apology. Stella leaned back a little against the edge of the tub and regarded Scully, whose hands slid down to Stella's tummy. Stella let her head fall to one side but held Scully's gaze. Scully took a few moments to look at Stella, really look at her, because she knew that was what Stella was gifting her – unabashedly Stella laid before her, naked, one hand raised to her lips and the other on her stomach she lay open for Scully to see. 'You are beautiful,' Scully commented quietly. Stella smiled and directed Scully's hands up towards her breasts again. 'Touch me,' she whispered in her rough, almost sleepy voice that Scully had loved ever since she'd first heard it. It was so sexy, so open and true that she felt like every word spoken like that was a secret, and in a way, it was.
Stella watched as Dana's eyes darkened with emotion, but a smile appeared around her lips as her hands travelled up Stella's legs. Her knees stuck out above the water a little and Stella followed the line of Scully's fingers along her calves, up around her knees and then slowly but surely down towards her thighs. Scully watched Stella's face carefully as she knew what she was about to encounter – lines of a past life, or maybe not that long ago, the evidence of a life so different from hers but not unimaginable at all. Scully understood how everything had culminated into this for Stella, she understood how the decisions were made and she knew above all the significance of her reaction to them. As her fingers softly encountered Stella's scars she was careful not to pay too much unwanted attention to them, but she was aware of how Stella was intently avoiding her eyes. 'Look at me,' Scully asked Stella, and with a heavy blink Stella complied. Scully watched fascinated how Stella's brow raised and how her breath hitched slightly in concern and utter feeling of exposure as Scully flattened her hand over Stella's inner thighs. Scully held her eyes as she softly set out to touch Stella's pubic bone, carefully raking her nails across the sensitive skin before moving further down. With her hands being submerged in the water she didn't have the luxury of watching but the feeling was tantalizing enough as Stella's eyes told her exactly what she needed to know. Stella hissed softly as Scully fully touched her with two fingers, tracing a line along her opening to her clit and back. She let her other hand wander to Stella's clit, using her thumb to circle and press lightly. Stella stayed more quiet than usual, but Scully's initial concern was quickly replaced by love as she watched Stella open her mouth and crease her brow. Her breathing became quicker as Scully's fingers found a rhythm, caressing and stimulating Stella while never losing eye contact. Stella found Dana's hand with one of hers and pushed, and Scully understood – with a smile she straightened one of her fingers and entered Stella, testing her under the water before adding a second finger. Their movements caused rhythmic splashes along the water and Scully found it mesmerizing as she watched a chill break out along Stella's arms. 'Yes,' she encouraged Stella softly. 'Let it go.' She felt Stella's nails dig into her wrist, no longer wanting anything in particular, just wanting Dana, more, closer, and nothing else mattered. Stella closed her eyes for a moment to focus on the feeling before she realized she couldn't live without watching Dana at this moment, so she opened her eyes again and the look in Dana's eyes was everything she ever needed. Scully felt Stella's body tense, she felt how the tightening of her inner walls changed into a clench and then a shudder as Stella's climax washed over her. She made no sound as she locked eyes with Scully but the single tear in the corner of her right eye told Scully everything she needed to know.
Stella whimpered as her release intensified, driven higher and higher by the pressure of Dana's fingers. Dana slowed her movements, but kept softly massaging Stella's inner walls, and Stella just barely hung on to consciousness as Scully brought her down slowly. As Dana released her she gave a nod behind Stella. 'Get up there,' she said softly, and Stella looked behind her. Another whimper escaped her lips at the effort of using her muscles that were still wobbly but she did what Dana asked and pushed herself up onto the far side of the tub. There was a small ledge, just big enough for Stella to settle on, and she watched mesmerized as Dana moved closer. Dana's fingers returned to Stella's inner thighs and with her other hand she pulled Stella a little closer to the edge. The water splashed around her body as she turned into Stella, her hand skimming across the goose bumps on Stella's legs back to the apex of her thighs and soon Stella understood her motives. 'You don't have to,' she said, suddenly feeling slightly insecure. The feeling wasn't foreign to Stella but the situation was, and she was relieved to see Dana's eyes smile up at her. Her only answer was Dana's tongue on her clit, lavishing her, creating a myriad of emotions and sensations that Stella didn't have the strength to battle against. She slumped backwards against the wall, her head hitting the stone harder than intended, and a shuddering sigh came from deep within. Scully smiled into Stella at the sensation, she could feel Stella's arousal on her tongue and sense everything that was going on within her through their simple connection. She tried, again, to mimic what she liked to be done to her and it seemed to work as very soon Stella's hand clasped the side of the tub. 'Oh my God, Dana,' Stella whispered. 'I'm going to come again.' Stella was amazed at the feelings inside of her, how quickly she was ready to fall again and how little it seemed to take for Dana to have her completely at her mercy. It should scare me, she thought, but that thought was gone again as soon as Dana dipped the tip of her tongue in Stella's opening. 'Oh yes,' Stella sighed, and Dana replaced her tongue with her fingers again, being rewarded with another thud of Stella's head hitting the wall. 'You're so good,' Stella whispered, and Scully doubled her efforts. That was all it took. Stella squirmed, a sound Scully hadn't heard before fell from her lips and she opened up even more to Dana's touch. Dana felt Stella's walls grasp her intimately, and she knew her second orgasm would outdo the first. Stella's lips quivered as she came again, her orgasm long, intense and almost painful in its emotion.
'Come here,' Dana pulled on Stella's hips, sliding her back into the tub with her. The water was still warm, and the chill that had invaded Stella's limbs quickly disappeared in light of her encounter with Dana. She curled her arms around Dana's midsection, pulling her as close into her body as she could. Dana laid sideways, her head on Stella's shoulder and her arms all around her. It was slippery and slightly uncomfortable but she didn't care, she just wanted to feel. 'I love this,' Scully said reverently, 'I'm really going to miss this.' Stella nodded into her hair, the movement almost desperate in nature. 'Me too.' It was all they said for a long while, Stella still trying to come back to Earth after the intense release and Scully just trying to remember every single movement, every sigh, every everything about this woman so that she would have something to sustain her when Stella would be gone.
After a few minutes Stella disentangled herself and helped Dana to sit up. She kissed her slowly and reached for the washcloth that was lying behind her. Scully watched her every move and was touched when she saw Stella wet and warm the cloth, pour some shower gel onto it and start to carefully and methodically wash Scully's arm. 'I want to tell you something,' Stella started. She was avoiding Scully's eyes, focusing her gaze intensely on the task in front of her. Scully nodded, barely visible, but Stella noticed it and found in it the courage to carry on. 'I've never told this to anybody,' she said softly, 'so bear with me.' Scully relaxed back into Stella and continued to watch her hands move with foamy strokes as she formed her thoughts. 'When I was at University I met a girl who was studying abroad. She was meant to stay for a semester but ended up enrolling in more classes so she could stay longer. She was intelligent and intriguing, and I think I fell in love with her the second I laid eyes on her. She was strong, brave and independent, everything I wanted to be at that time.'
Scully listened to Stella's voice, slightly rough with emotion and filled with intense memories. 'She said she liked girls and I knew I liked her so we started this thing. It was the first time I truly felt accepted for who I was.' Scully nodded in understanding. Stella sighed and carried on. 'I was so taken with her. She was the first girl I had sex with, and at the time I thought I'd never want anything else. We went to a party one night a few months into our relationship and I told her I loved her. An hour later I walked in on her in bed with one of our friends. Male friends.' Scully sighed. 'Oh God, Stella. I'm so sorry.' Stella huffed. 'They propositioned me to join them. But I really loved her, I thought she was the one. I walked away. The next day the guy came to my room.' Dana shivered, knowing a story like this wasn't going to end well.
'He said she wanted him to fuck me,' Stella continued more quietly. 'He tried to rape me.' 'Oh Stella,' Scully said, tears in her eyes. Her hands found Stella's and the washcloth drifted to the surface, abandoned by four clasped hands hanging on to each other for dear life. 'I ended up in hospital. When I got out, she had gone back home. I never talked to her again.' A quiet sob brought on by deeply buried memories escaped Stella's throat. 'I loved her with everything I had. She was the only thing I needed. I decided then that I wouldn't let that happen to me, ever, again.' Scully lifted her head to press a kiss into Stella's neck. One of Stella's hands came up to tangle in Scully's wet hair, combing it down her shoulders and back. 'I would have given up anything for her,' she whispered. 'It almost killed me to lose her like that.' Scully sighed sadly. 'I can only try to imagine what that must have felt like,' she said. 'I'm sure it made me stronger,' Stella said toughly. 'Still, I wouldn't wish something like that on anyone. To love is one thing, to be played with like that is something completely in a different ballpark,' Scully said seriously. 'I hope you know you didn't deserve that.' She didn't necessarily know why she said it, but somehow she understood where Stella's pain came from. Love was a dangerous subject, even to her – to Stella it was like the most forbidden of fruits and Scully began to understand why. Somewhere deep down a younger Stella would always fear that rejection. She would always see the look on those faces, she'd always be the one to run first. Because she'd been the one to say it first. One time, one chance and that's how life had decided to return the favor – Scully understood all too well Stella's fear of what was happening between them. And the worst thing was, she couldn't promise it would be different. Naturally, the situation was completely unique and it would never repeat itself, but the premise was still the same. Even though technically they were the ones doing the cheating Stella was relying on Scully's honor and truthfulness in a way that must be highly uncomfortable. A wave of some foreign emotion washed over Scully and all she could do was wriggle both arms around Stella and hold her close.
Their position was uncomfortable, the edges of the tub were hard and the water was getting cold, but Stella's heart froze under a completely different chill – the ice cold realization that she was completely helpless in this situation. There was no right way to end this, there never would be. As she felt Dana's arms find their way around her midsection she bit back the tears that defiantly stood their ground in the corners of her eyes, not wanting to cry, not yet. She felt Dana slip down slowly and even though she tried to hold on and keep her close she felt Dana struggle to stay in their embrace. Carefully Stella disentangled their limbs and she helped Dana to stand. 'Let's get warm,' she suggested and their eyes met only briefly as they stepped out of the tub, reaching for their towels. Stella quickly wrapped hers around Dana's shoulders, rubbing them to ban the chill that had arisen in Dana's bones. Scully smiled and handed Stella her towel, still slightly hesitant to fully meet her passing gaze. It wasn't that Stella's story had made them uncomfortable. It was just the dawning realization and the deeply troubling similarities that had them both a little guarded. Scully dried off quickly, throwing on just her jumper and a pair of Stella's panties. 'Stella,' she said quietly, asking for Stella's attention. She got it quickly as Stella picked up on the hidden urgency in Dana's voice. 'Yes?' she answered, looking up and slowing her movements. Scully leaned against the bathroom wall and watched quietly as Stella dried off as methodically as she had undressed before. 'What is it?' Stella asked as she watched Dana. A small smile appeared around Scully's lips. 'I would never do that to you, I love you too much for that,' she said softly and truthfully. It was a significant moment pushed into insignificance with the casual blush on Dana's cheeks, the soft touches of Stella's towel to her skin and the distance between them that was filled with thick peach scented clouds of mist and Stella found it to be so perfectly imperfect that her brain took a few seconds to process. She didn't want Dana to say it as much as she didn't want to say it herself, but now that it had happened, she realized that maybe it wasn't truly ever within her power to manage her emotions. And it wasn't within her power to manage the emotions of everyone around her. And maybe dealing with that was something she would have to work on. So as she continued her movements, toweling the last drops of moisture from her legs and feet her eyes focused on the task ahead instead of Dana's deep pools of unending mystery. A few quiet tears came to play on the edge of her waterline and this time she didn't resist them. She heard Scully move and a part of her wasn't surprised when she looked up and found Dana's lips to be the only thing in her vision. Stella wrapped her arms around Dana, pulled her in close and captured her lips with an intensity that was unbeknownst even to her. Scully smiled into the kiss, loving how Stella was quick to establish control over the kiss when it seemed like it was the only thing she had any control over. Dana let her, holding her close, curling her fingers into Stella's back to press her spine as close as she could. Stella's lips told the story of everything that had been raging through her mind the past minutes and Scully heard it all. She understood how Stella wanted to stop fighting. She heard how much pain Stella was still in and how desperately she wanted to give in. But most of all she tasted on Stella's lips her true feelings, the unmasked and unveiled depth of Stella's care and yes, love, unmistakably and undoubtedly there in the grasp of her hands, the passion of her lips and in the tears on her cheeks.