Courage Is A Woman

Chapter 13.

Cherry Blossom

"If a person is able to do to others what she fears may be done to her she may no longer be afraid."

Dana felt Stella's tears run down between their cheeks and she tasted them on her lips. 'Stella,' she whispered between kisses. 'Don't talk,' Stella urged, but she broke the kiss and met Scully's searching eyes anyway. She knew what was laid bare on her expression and some twisted side of herself wanted Dana to see. She needed Dana to share in the struggle because she, for the first time in a long time, wasn't sure she was strong enough to deal with this alone. Stella felt naked, exposed, and everything inside her heart clashed against everything she had taught herself, and every second, more and more, her heart was winning out over her brain. 'What have we done,' she whispered quietly. 'Sorry,' Dana replied in the smallest sound Stella had ever heard. She looked away and pulled Dana's head in to hers. Her hand tangled in the tresses Dana had been so afraid to get wet, and she smiled, because that seemed so meaningless now. 'Your hair got wet,' she whispered into Dana's neck. Dana chuckled with the ridiculousness of Stella's statement. 'And the world didn't fall apart,' she said softly. 'I guess I can worry a little less.' Stella sighed. 'I see what you did there. Thank you.' She let Dana go and grabbed the robe from the hook on the door, not bothering to put anything underneath. 'Isn't there a perfectly good bottle of wine in your room?' she asked Dana, knowing full well the purpose of that bottle and the ones that were bound to follow would be to get them drunk tonight. 'There is,' Scully agreed, 'I'll be right back.'

Stella smiled with raised eyebrows, proud and surprised, as Dana collected her key card, walked over to the door and exited the room in just her pullover and panties to fetch the bottle from just down the hallway. When Scully came back a minute later she found her in exactly the same spot, still smiling, still slightly in awe. 'Here you go,' Scully smiled as she handed Stella the bottle. 'Pour that for me, will you?' She walked past Stella to the chair by the window and paused there, looking out across the city. She heard Stella rustle behind her and soon she appeared with two generously filled wine glasses. 'Are you hungry?' Stella asked as she handed Scully one of the glasses. Scully shook her head lightly and touched her glass to Stella's. 'To New York,' she said. 'And to everything it gave us,' Stella added. She walked over to the bed, creating a comfortable lounging corner with the pillows. 'How do you have six pillows in here?' Scully wondered aloud. 'I asked,' Stella deadpanned. 'Do you always get everything you ask?' Scully asked bravely. Stella looked at her for a second from her position on the bed. Scully walked over and joined her. 'Sorry, that was rude.' 'Actually you raise an interesting point,' Stella answered, not the least bit offended. 'If we're talking about work, the answer is yes. Privately though I haven't been asking for much.' 'I think Nick would disagree, and so would Liam probably,' Scully countered. 'I take what I need and they give it, there's a difference,' Stella said. 'I don't ask.' Scully nodded. 'You asked me. You gave me a choice.' 'I know,' Stella said wondrously. 'You are the exception. With everything, you are the aberration. And don't say you're sorry, because you shouldn't be.' Scully nodded, shifting in the pillows to get comfortable, pulling one onto her lap. Stella was sat next to her, lounging comfortably, one hand on her stomach and the other cradling her wine glass. 'So, what is your plan when you get back?' Scully asked Stella. 'You know there still is a folder around here somewhere with some very interesting points I came up with for you.' Stella chuckled. 'Don't worry, I'll look at it on the plane,' she said reassuringly but slightly mockingly. Scully smiled and looked down at her glass. 'Do with it whatever you want. It's a very interesting case but I could imagine your only wish is to get away from it.' Stella looked at her. 'Someone wise told me that's not the way, though,' she answered, and Scully raised her chin towards Stella. 'She was right.' 'Why do you assume it was a woman?' Stella asked, teasing Dana because they were both fully aware it had been her who had said that to Stella. 'Because you wouldn't take advice like that from a man,' Scully answered and Stella smirked. 'Anyway, there is a lot of work for me to do. My reputation is ruined, I think they sent me to New York just to get rid of me for a few days and figure out what they'll do with me when I get back. I think they were scared what I'd hear if I was around during the decision making. I don't like being left out of the loop.' Scully shifted a bit closer and shifted slightly onto her side. 'I'm sure you'll get it all back in time. If there's anything I've learned it's that most of the time it's just administrative bullshit they have to deal with and they don't really care about how it gets done as long as it gets done.' Stella nodded. 'It's a pretty big pile of bullshit, though.' 'That might be the case but you had to deal with so many things, Stella. It's a miracle you even came out alive.' 'Barely,' Stella chuckled but recovered quickly, not wanting to be pitied. Scully however picked up on her mood and had some of her suspicions confirmed. Even though no part of Stella's body seemed particularly sensitive to the touch Scully had spotted a freshly mended cut on her brow and a few very faint bruises on her ribs – nothing to the untrained eye, but to Scully they were the beginning and end to a story. One that she wasn't sure she wanted to hear. 'He hurt you, didn't he,' she said softly.
Stella hesitated for a moment. 'I don't want to talk about it.'

'That's okay,' Scully said, 'but you're going to have to. Maybe it'll be easier if you tell me first.' Stella dropped her chin and the air in the room changed. Scully felt anger and defensiveness boil up in the woman next to her, she felt her brace herself against the memories and Scully knew she had to be strong for Stella as well as for herself. Stella sighed, shivered and finally but carefully let go of everything holding her back. 'He… He hit me,' Stella said softly but there was no kindness in her voice. 'During an interrogation when he knew he was beat, he broke an officer's arm and shoulder and he hit me.' 'He broke your ribs,' Scully guessed quietly. Stella's head shot up, locking her fiery eyes with Scully's gentler ones. 'It's barely visible,' she tried to reassure Stella. 'He broke my ribs, he almost broke my brow bone and he hit my jaw pretty hard. He kicked me in the face and in the guts while I was down on the floor. I couldn't do anything.' There was a coldness that had crept into Stella's voice and Scully looked at her in concern. 'You got him,' she said quietly. 'You survived. He felt trapped, it's a predators natural reaction.' Stella nodded sarcastically. 'I know, I'm lucky to be alive, right?' 'That's not what I mean,' Scully said. 'You think you should have been prepared. You probably believe you could have defended yourself and the other officer, you think you should have. But there's no way. He was so much stronger physically. You did everything you could.' She could imagine Stella on the floor, trying to protect her face, curling into a ball on pure instinct to protect herself from the animal she had been hunting down for so long. 'I saw his true nature,' Stella whispered. 'It scared me.' She remembered how she didn't want to be helped afterwards. She remembered how she had signaled them to hold off, to wait for her to get up by herself, and how she had realized that she couldn't. She had seen Tom Anderson's face as he looked at her, afraid for her more than for himself as he had tried and failed to protect her. Her career was on the line, his was uncertain for completely different reasons. 'In the end, he won,' Stella said so softly that Scully wondered if she was meant to hear it. She scooted closer and raised her fingers to the faint line in Stella's left brow. 'You're here now, he isn't,' she said, her voice firm and loud in the quiet room. 'It's not about winning. It's about living.' Stella nodded. 'Still, he cheated and a lot of families won't know justice because he was too cowardly to just admit to what he had done. I almost had him, Dana.' Dana nodded. 'And that will haunt you for the rest of your life if you let it. You need to find a way to forgive yourself.' 'I don't know how, not yet,' Stella answered and her voice broke, and with it, Scully's heart. 'Come here,' she said, and tears were in her eyes as she pulled Stella close on the bed. Scully embraced her, as equals, allowing Stella to find strength through her and feeling it bounced right back at her. She kept her head high, feeling and allowing the tears old and new on her cheeks, finding peace in dignity and love. 'He wins if you let him,' Scully whispered into Stella's cheek. Stella nodded. 'I don't like it, but you're right,' she answered powerlessly.

After a few minutes Stella felt slightly awkward and uncomfortable with the level of support she was feeling. She should be dealing with this by herself – she was going to have to, but Dana was just so present that she was having trouble disassociating herself from what she was saying. She knew she shouldn't, but it was such a natural reaction that she felt she was going crazy fighting the fighting. A blizzard raged inside her brain for a moment, causing her vision to go white with static and her thoughts to scatter in no particular pattern inside her head. Scully let go and sat back against the headboard and Stella sighed deeply, put down her wine glass and turned to sit up on her knees. She straddled Dana's legs, forcing her to lay them straight on the bed as she took Scully's wine from her hand as well. Dana looked momentarily disappointed until she met Stella's eyes, where apparently the storm had caused a peace in its covering of all things tainting her thoughts. Stella leaned over to the right to put down the wine glass and as she sat back up Scully recognized the storm in Stella's blue eyes as something dangerous, but strangely alluring.

'You know how you wondered about me asking you before?' Stella whispered. Scully nodded.

'This time I'm not asking,' Stella said slowly, deliberately, and as her hands came up to Dana's face she pushed her back into the headboard and her lips left no space between Scully's concern and Stella's surrender. For a second Scully worried – Be here, Stella, her mind called - be in the moment with me, but that was forgotten as soon as she felt Stella's thumbs caress her cheeks and cradle her jawbone. Scully recognized the motion and it reassured her – Stella wasn't trying to overpower an emotion, she was trying to bottle it, keep it alive in her brain for whenever she might need it. It was a desperate thing, but born out of need to be together rather than need to be alone and that was all that mattered to Dana.

And so she let Stella push her down. She let her cover her body with her own, she welcomed the delicate weight of a woman's curves on hers and she was quick to wrap her legs around Stella's robe-clothed body to never let her go. 'I'm done talking about my mistakes,' Stella muttered into Dana's lips as she kissed her. Scully nodded into Stella's searching mouth. 'Not mistakes,' she managed, but nothing else was allowed to pass except sighs and the occasional whimper as Stella made sure Dana wouldn't make her cry again. She felt naked again but she knew that it was a good thing, because the veil she had been wearing was slowly falling away to reveal parts of herself she had almost forgotten or abandoned. However that veil had also hidden her from her demons, monsters that came in the night and even though she had been fairly unsuccessful in keeping them away recently she knew that thinking about them during the day meant being haunted by them come nightfall, no matter how tightly she tangled herself in Dana's limbs. The demons would find her. And tomorrow there would be none of Dana's limbs left to anchor and shield her – it would just be her and everything she had ever wanted and attempted to forget.

Scully gingerly kissed the woman in her arms, reassuringly, bravely, to make sure Stella was okay – Okay with what had been discussed, okay with herself and most of all okay with the coming road she was going to have to travel. Scully felt Stella's lips search hers, demanding from her to reveal all the answers to questions she wasn't brave enough to ask. Scully answered them as best she could, wrapping arms and legs around Stella, pushing her hips up into Stella's soft terrycloth waist. Stella wriggled in Dana's embrace and moved to straddle her, sitting up and watching Scully's slight disarray as it salved her heart and tended to her wounds. Scully looked back into Stella's eyes and reached for her, finding her vulnerable scrutiny to be a scary combination. The robe around Stella's waist had fallen to the side, revealing the fairest parts of Stella's legs to Dana's touch. Stella kissed her again, moving her hips on Dana's before moving her hands to trace lines down along the sweater to Dana's breasts. They were close, very close on the bed with Dana sitting against the headboard and Stella trapping her against her body, but both of them wanted to be even closer. 'Take it off,' Stella said and Dana struggled to get the soft fabric off over her head. Stella let her eyes wander around Dana's head for a moment, and Scully watched as Stella smiled in pure adoration, lips slightly parted, eyes shining in unshed tears and love. 'You are the most magnificent woman I've seen,' Stella whispered in a confession that came straight from her soul. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't take control with Dana in the way that she was used to. It didn't matter anymore, she knew it didn't matter but the realization was heartbreaking to Stella in its innocence – Dana was her equal. Scully watched as she saw a myriad of emotions run across Stella's face and she couldn't handle the pain she witnessed in the flash of a moment, so she threw her jumper aside and reached to push the robe off of Stella's shoulders. 'Come here,' she said, and Stella untied the garment before pushing it aside half-heartedly. It remained there, the sides trapped between Scully's legs and Stella's waist to witness these two women speak volumes without whispering a word.

Stella's hands were everywhere – she focused on touching as much of Dana as she could, tracing feathery lines down her breastbone to her navel, and back up to whisper along her sides up to her neck. Shivers ran through Scully's body as she tried to anticipate where Stella's touch would light the next fire but she failed, immensely, as Stella decided to boldly rake her nails along Dana's arms and back up around to the tips of her nipples. Scully closed her eyes but found nothing but loneliness in the dark of her mind so she opened them again, clinging to Stella's neck with her underarms and burying her face in Stella's hair. Stella was effectively trapped in a jail made out of Dana and she chuckled at Dana's perseverance. 'Let me go, babe,' she whispered. Scully eased her hold a little and Stella kissed her neck before moving down to kiss her lips again. Scully surrendered to Stella's searching lips as her hands now found refuge in Stella's hair, one on her neck, the other plastered to her skull to keep her as close as possible.

'Hold on,' Stella whispered into Scully's ear and disentangled herself from Scully's strong grip. 'I'm coming back, I promise,' she said softly to reassure Scully and to coerce her into letting her go. She left Scully on the bed in her panties and as she stood to walk over to the table where she'd abandoned the bottle of wine she let the robe fall into a pool on the ground. Stepping out of it she felt like she was shedding her veil, all pretense was left right there on this hotel room floor and somehow it felt liberating. Stella refilled both of their wine glasses, taking one into the bed with her. 'Lie still,' she whispered to Dana who had been watching her every move. Goose bumps had come to play all across her fair skin and Scully watched with interest as Stella carefully poured some of the wine on Dana's chest. 'It'll spill,' Dana warned, and Stella all but rolled her eyes at her. Scully understood on a smile and let her eyes shudder to a close, lashes barely touching, as the cold sensation reached her brain. Stella watched the cherry colored liquid find its way down Scully's sternum and along the sides of her breasts. She licked her lips and set out to clean every last drop of liquid off of Dana's chest, starting with the liquid waiting for her between Dana's breasts. Scully instinctively raised her hands to her breasts, lifting them to Stella's face. 'Yes, do that,' Stella encouraged her, loving the feeling of Dana's soft, slightly fruity skin against her lips. Dana moaned as Stella stole a nibble and a lick on her nipple before lavishing her entire breast and all of the sticky skin around it. Scully pushed her breasts up into Stella's mouth, moaning deeply as arousal coursed through her body. She could feel the droplets of wine going down her side, up to her shoulder and neck and down her sternum and it was as intoxicating as the liquid itself – as was Stella's tongue, apparently on a mission to catch it all.

Stella licked and sucked loudly until all the liquid had been cleared from Dana's fair skin before reaching for the glass again. She watched Dana's almost-closed eyes slowly open as she poured a little more, this time around her belly button, making sure it dripped down her sides before putting the glass down again. 'Stella,' Scully muttered aimlessly, and Stella smiled before burying her face in Scully's tummy. She felt Dana's muscles contract where she licked and suckled on the skin, most likely leaving marks as she went, and she let her hands join Dana's on her boobs. Dana locked one hand with hers and guided the other over her nipple as she watched through hooded eyes. She saw how Stella's hair dragged through the wine on her belly as she licked down to her hipbone and she watched helplessly as Stella moved her flat, wet tongue from one side of her body all the way to the other. It wasn't hard to surrender to the rush of feelings that ran through the muscles in her legs, arms and tummy and finally all the way up to curl around her brain. She went willingly, following the only direction she needed: Stella's tongue and hands and hair and body. There was a tingle between her legs that became hard to ignore and Scully had a fleeting thought that she'd never wanted to ignore that before, but right now she wanted to stay in this moment forever rather than chase her orgasm over that edge that would inevitably put an end to Stella's relentless touch. 'Slow,' she whispered to Stella and she felt her squeeze Scully's hand. 'Too much?' Stella asked, her lips still plastered to the sensitive skin of Scully's sides. 'No, I just want you to do this for a little longer,' Scully replied, and Stella moved up to softly kiss her lips. Scully tasted the wine, a sweet tartness that she recognized and smelled all around her. As Stella looked into Dana's eyes she slowly tore her fingers lower and lower across Dana's skin, down to the line of her panties. 'No, not yet,' Dana whispered to her. Stella smiled into her lips. 'I need you, Dana. I need to feel you come. It's not the end.' Stella's bold words tore straight through Scully's resolve and she brushed Stella's hair back in one movement, wrapping her hands up in the blonde, unruly waves. 'Stay close to me,' she whispered in Stella's ear and Stella nodded and pushed on past Dana's panties. Dana lifted her hips and marveled at Stella's ability to have her naked in one swift movement, feeling her panties slide to somewhere around her knees.

As Scully pushed her hips closer to Stella she felt her fingers all around her clit. Deftly Stella found her way, circling with care and precision exactly where she knew Scully needed it. Scully moaned loudly at the delicious assault and was rewarded with Stella's lips on her neck. Stella bit carefully, undoubtedly leaving a mark but Scully realized that might be the point – a lasting reminder that they weren't done. She'd see it tomorrow when she looked in the mirror, she'd see it later when Stella might already be gone and then she'd quietly curse and thank Stella. Her mind was torn back to the present by Stella's fingers rubbing a little harder, more persistent – there was no escaping this time. Stella was going to make her come with her lips in her hair and her fingers on her breasts and on her pussy. 'Please, Dana,' Stella whispered, 'Let go.' It was a sweetly familiar phrase between them and Scully turned her face into Stella's because of the sudden connection she felt to her. 'Stay close to me,' she repeated and Stella nodded again, her nose touching Scully's cheek. Scully lifted her knee a little more, giving Stella easier access and Stella took it gratefully by letting her fingers travel down to Scully's opening before settling back on her clit with renewed vigor. Scully was barely holding on to consciousness, her brain wanting to shut down and her body wanting to explode at the same time. She reached for Stella blindly, pulling her head into her neck and crushing Stella's shoulders into her own with her arm that was trapped underneath Stella's body. 'Yes, beautiful,' Stella encouraged her. It was such a wondrous thing, Stella's salty and velvety voice calling to her to let go that Scully felt her body react instantly. 'Yes,' she moaned, digging her fingers into Stella's back. Stella didn't let up, she didn't give her space to escape and doubled her efforts, returning her lips to Scully's neck to softly take her earlobe between her teeth. 'That's it, love,' she whispered, and Scully went soft and rigid in Stella's arms as her orgasm took control of everything except the point where Stella's fingers connected to her body. It grounded her, it lifted her and it saved her – Scully saw stars, a stellar combination of pressure and freedom and finally everything inside her went limb.

Scully was vaguely aware of Stella holding her. Both her hands were on Scully's back, cradling her soft body to hers, one hand stroking up and down her neck and shoulders. She heard a voice that was definitely Stella's but she didn't hear the words. All she heard was her own heartbeat, her breathing, trying to go back to normal after that experience that had been utterly disarming. 'Easy, love,' Stella whispered to Dana. She'd witnessed Dana's complete surrender to her and she'd found it to be the most profound thing she had ever seen. She also remembered Dana's earlier request to make this last, so she was in no way going to release her or let her go. It was worth facing some of her fears for. So she stuck to Dana until her eyes opened and her mouth quivered in a smile. And even then she pulled her hips back into hers, she covered her with her warm body and kissed her carefully. Dana responded languidly, her brain still a few seconds behind, but she instinctively knew to keep Stella close. She still tasted the wine on her lips and smiled at the way her brain chose to remind her of the fact that they may need to shower again before going to sleep. Stella broke the quiet kiss after a few heartbeats and looked up into Dana's eyes. 'Hi,' she whispered. 'Hi,' Scully smiled. She watched how Stella let her lips follow a wet path down Scully's sternum, along her taut breasts and down to her navel again. She missed Stella's warmth all around her but she appreciated the soft and wet sensation that was a promise and reaffirmation of everything they had. 'Get back up here,' she directed Stella with a smirk, too tired to sit up and pull her back. 'Bossy,' Stella commented but reversed her path back up Scully's body to end up at her lips. 'We might need to move,' Stella said and Scully nodded. 'In a moment.'

They stayed on the bed for a few minutes, content in their silence and warmth until somehow the wet spots surrounding Scully became too much for both of them. Scully moved first, shifting away but right into the next wine stain and she sighed. 'Let's get out of here,' she muttered into Stella's neck. 'There's a perfectly clean bed in my room.' Stella nodded, her hair tickling Dana's face. 'Do I need to carry you there?' 'I think I'll manage,' Scully smiled and moved to sit up.

14,

Quietly Stella found her robe and fetched another one from the bathroom. When she came back Scully was sitting on the side of the bed, hands next to her clutching the sides, her hair falling in perfect waves along her cheeks effectively hiding her face. She was still naked, having abandoned her panties somewhere between the sheets. Stella thought how housekeeping would find them if she left them there but honestly she didn't care and she knew that at this moment Dana didn't either, so she left them and quietly handed Dana the robe. Dana lifted her chin and looked up at her with shining eyes. 'Thank you,' she said earnestly, referring to so much more than the robe. She stood on slightly shaking legs and tied the terrycloth piece of comfort tightly around her waist. Stella extended her hand as she finished fixing her own robe and Dana took it gratefully, remembering to grab the remaining wine as well. They slipped on some shoes for the short walk and Scully reached for Stella's key card that was on the table by the door, handing it to her before collecting her own and leading the way back to her own room. They didn't run in to anyone in the hallway and Stella was grateful, knowing that it wasn't really a secret what they'd been doing and she wasn't sure of Dana would be comfortable with being seen like this. She smelled the wine in her hair and felt it stick slightly to her neck and she chuckled. 'What?' Scully said, her voice soft and rough around the edges. 'I just realized that you're right, this is a mess,' Stella admitted softly as she followed Scully back into her room. 'We can shower later, right now I just want you close,' Scully said and Stella nodded, pulling her closer by the hand as she closed the door behind her. She put her arms around Scully for a sweet moment before grabbing two water glasses from the tray table by the door and following Scully to the bed.

She watched with a warm heart as Dana climbed on the bed and settled against the pillows. Stella divided the wine between them and put both glasses on the side table before joining Dana, pulling her body flush against hers as soon as she could. Scully buried her chin in the collar of the robe as Stella felt her hands on the tie around her waist. She directed her eyes to where Dana's hands were busy untying her robe and she smiled inwardly. It was such a simple pleasure but such an important one to feel one's skin against another and Stella was glad Scully trusted her enough to reveal that this was her need. 'You're incredible,' Scully said into her neck as she succeeded in untying the robe. Stella felt Scully's hand on the small of her back pulling her waist closer to her own and she relaxed against Dana's body. 'So are you,' Stella replied. 'You're much more experienced,' Scully said almost shyly, 'So I don't think it's fair to compare.' 'You're wrong,' Stella whispered. 'If it was just sex, then yes, but I'd say I'm as inexperienced as you are.' It was the best she could do and Scully felt it down to her core. The slight break in her voice and the gritty hoarseness that Stella allowed gave away a lot more than she would have dared to reveal mere days ago. 'Sorry if I'm asking too much,' Scully offered softly. Stella shook her head lightly. 'Never apologize for asking for what you need. It's a sign of strength. Too often we're told that our needs aren't important but they are imperative to our happiness.' Scully smiled into Stella's naked shoulder. 'Self-love and self-destruction,' she remembered. Stella sighed deeply. 'There are certain lines I cannot cross,' she said, and Scully shifted closer in silent strength. 'It's not because I don't want to,' Stella continued, 'it's because it's the only thing that's going to make me strong and independent enough.' Dana felt her lean back and she felt her eyes on her face. Angling her chin upwards she met Stella's eyes. 'I don't agree,' she said softly, 'I know we're strongest together. But I understand and deeply respect that your life has told you differently. I'll never ask anything of you that's too much.' Stella looked down across Scully's face, uncomfortable with how she was now the vulnerable one.

Later, a few hours past midnight, they were cuddled up on Scully's bed. Stella was wearing one of Dana's oversized cardigans, one of the sides covering Scully's side as well in order to keep them warm. Underneath the soft fabric Dana's arms were wrapped tightly around Stella's body where Stella's one arm was between them and the other held the woolly fabric softly to Scully's side. The air between them was calm and darkly thick, almost as if something had suddenly been fallen down on them and they were grieving the inevitability of the result. However there was an overwhelming feeling of peace surrounding them as well as they had both accepted that this was their last night in New York. There was no room for depression but they had both accepted that a certain level of wistfulness as inevitable and maybe even healthy as it would lead to them spending their precious time as fully and wholly as possible. They were both on their sides and Stella had her chin tucked safely on top of Scully's head, almost hiding her from the world. Somehow she could feel a question approaching and in some way she already knew she wasn't going to like it. Her heart was so open that even the slightest movement or sound seemed dangerous. After a few minutes Dana finally spoke, the question already huge in her mind.

'What was her name?' she asked quietly. 'No,' Stella said rather forcefully, as if on instinct.

'It's okay,' Scully pushed, 'I'm not her. And you're the one that's leaving.' 'That's not fair,' Stella answered, turning on her back to face the ceiling. 'You haven't asked me to stay.' 'Would you?' Scully said, moving to her stomach and leaning her head in her hands as she watched Stella. 'You know the answer to that,' Stella said, shortly making eye contact before returning her attention to the ceiling. 'Now sleep.' 'I'm afraid to close my eyes, because I'm afraid you'll be gone when I wake up,' Scully confessed loudly to the quiet room, her voice breaking in honesty and vulnerability like a mirror dropped on a cold concrete floor. 'If I want to leave, are you going to try and stop me?' Stella's icy voice said seriously, analytically. 'No,' Scully said, 'And that's what I'm afraid of.' Stella finally granted her the courtesy of eye contact, rolling back onto her side to face Dana once more. Scully's heart faltered as she saw something there she had seen before, however briefly, last night when Stella had woken up from her nightmare. Fear and dependency, the two things she knew Stella feared the most in her heart. Only this time it wasn't just a flash – no, it was there, openly, for what seemed like hours for Scully to absorb and recognize and form an opinion on and judge – but she didn't. She just smiled sweetly, reassuringly, and raised Stella's hand to her lips. 'I love you too much for you to be gone tomorrow morning,' she said, repeating her earlier confession, disguising it in a sentence more for Stella than for herself. Stella watched how Dana kissed her knuckles and then moved her fingers to catch Dana's chin before laying her hand back down between them. 'I won't leave,' Stella said quietly. 'Get some sleep.'

Scully tucked her head back onto her pillow, shifting a little to get comfortable. Stella turned on her back but her hand found Dana's, locked their fingers and moved their linked hands to lie on Stella's stomach. Scully pulled the blanket a little higher around them and moved a little closer to Stella to put the soft fabric of her cardigan between them. She entangled her legs with Stella's as if to lock her to the bed and closed her eyes. 'Sleep tight,' Scully whispered and Stella huffed lightly. 'Don't be surprised if I wake you up.' Scully nodded lightly. 'I know, I'll be here.' She knew the darkness that resided in Stella's brain and she knew that Pandora's box had been cracked wide open, but she meant what she'd said – Stella would be gone from her arms after tonight so she'd do everything she could to keep her as close and as safe as possible for however little time they had.

Upon parting: give it a few months