Like dreams you float through my mind.
Author's Notes:
Standard Disclaimer: It all belongs to JKR. That you JKR for letting us play with your toys.
I will continue to use the occasional song lyric in the story and will give credit at the time when needed.
This is the fifth book in my Slytherin Harry series.
Book 1 Harry Potter and the Muggle's Daughter.
Book 2: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Book 3: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Book 4: Harry Potter and the Blood Traitor's Daughter
Book 5: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
If you haven't read books 1-4 you won't know what's going on. But the bonus is you've got four completed books before you even get to this one!
HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE
CHAPTER XVII
She Was Right
HPHPHP
Like dreams you float through my mind.
And like stars you shine through the night.
In my eyes I see your bright light guiding me home.
And I know we all make mistakes.
There's still words I wish I could say.
So I beg you to show me the way and follow me home.
So I wish on the brightest star you see in the sky.
Hoping you're watching and hoping you hear my cry.
And if Venus and Mars knew a little bit more on how to save a soul.
Oh and if Lion and Lamb knew a little bit more on how to save our world.
I've got these useless constellations just hanging around.
Not helping me at all.
But I don't have you to catch me when I fall.
Like fire you burnt me so black.
Like rain I just want you back.
And me I don't have a knack for saving my own.
Well you know that we both made mistakes.
So many things I still wish I could say.
Without you I don't see a way to lead on my own.
So I'll wish on the brightest star you see in the sky.
Hoping you're watching and hoping you hear my cry.
And if Venus and Mars knew a little bit more on how to save a soul.
Oh and if Lion and Lamb knew a little bit more on how to save our world.
I've got these useless constellations just hanging around.
Not helping me at all.
But I don't have you to catch me when I fall.
Like dreams you flow through my mind.
Like stars you shine through the night.
In my eyes I see your bright light guiding me home.
And if Venus and Mars knew a little bit more on how to save a soul.
Oh and if Lion and Lamb knew a little bit more on how to save a world.
I've got these useless constellations just hanging around.
Not helping me at all.
But I don't have you to catch me when I fall.
Ginny hit the repeat button on her CD player. Among other things Harry had given her a CD of songs he'd written for Christmas. His music wasn't exactly uplifting. Pretty much all of it told the story of unrequited love. Even so she couldn't seem to stop listening to it. Though she did hope, as time went on, he might be able to write a song about her that didn't rip her heart out. She turned slightly. Harry's scent had just mingled in with the musty scent of straw.
"I think you've taken over my spot," he said sitting down beside her. He took her hand. "Not that I mind." She said nothing, but leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. Once again she hit the repeat button when the song ended. "Mine?" Harry asked.
"Constellations," she answered. Harry said nothing for a few seconds before he reached for the player and shut it off. "Hey," she complained. She sat up to glower at him.
Harry placed his finger on her lips. "Shush," he said. He then reached for her headphones and took them off. His hand lingered on her cheek. Then he started to sing. Only it wasn't a song from her CD.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now.
Mesmerized, brown eyes stared into green. Ginny didn't know where he came up with these things and she didn't know what she'd done to deserve this love. She only knew he somehow found words to describe what she felt in her own heart. Enthralled, she listened in wonder. When the last verse ended they just sat in silence. "I thought you might like to know I can write music that isn't painful," he said. A tear slid down her cheek. Had she mentioned he had an uncanny ability to sooth her fears before she even voiced them? He leaned in and kissed her tear away.
"Am I really worth all this?" she held up her CD player.
Harry took a breath and slowly let it out. "Am I worth facing Tom again?"
"I want to show you something," she whispered.
"All right," he agreed.
"It's at the Burrow."
He considered for a second. They were due to leave for the airport and Zakynthos within the hour. "All right," he agreed. Ginny triggered her portkey. Seconds later they landed in a pile on her bed in her treehouse. "Offha," he gasped.
"Sorry," she said. "I've pretty much given up ever landing gracefully."
"You and me both," he muttered. He climbed to his feet and offered her a hand up. Harry glanced around. He knew this was her domain, where she stayed when she was home from school and not staying with her brothers, Luna or Daphne. Both girls had stayed here with her, but he'd never been invited. It was pretty simple, maybe ten feet square with a six-foot ceiling and a window centered on each wall. There was a couch on one wall, bookcases on two, the aforementioned mattress with a pile of blankets and pillows along the fourth. The requisite trap door was in the floor. The walls were painted purple. Mr Totters, the stuffed penguin he'd given her second-year sat on one bookcase, right next to a framed picture of himself. Pictures of the rest of their friends and family took up the remaining space. One picture in particular drew him in. Ginny must have been only four or five when it was taken. She was asleep on the chest of a man he'd never seen before as he napped on a worn looking couch. Ginny noticed him looking and moved next to him.
"My dad."
Harry squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry."
She smiled sadly. He glanced around again, this time catching the small house up in the rafters. He stared at it a few seconds. "Nimue?"
"Sometimes I kind of want to take it down." He glanced at her. "Kai was just a friend. Knowing she's something else, wondering what her true motivations are…" she shrugged. "She was more special to me before I knew what she was."
Harry considered. "I can understand that."
Ginny shook herself and pulled him away. "Come on. Harry followed her down the trap door. Once on the ground she took his hand and led him away. They'd walked about five minutes when he stopped in his tracks. "This is it," he breathed. Ginny turned to him but said nothing.
"This is where I saw you." He turned. "You were there." He pointed. He turned again.
"And you were there." She pointed. "Behind that tree." Harry glanced at her.
"A girl doesn't exactly forget seeing glowing green eyes watching her from behind a tree in the middle of the night," she said.
Harry gave himself a shake. "You saw me?"
"Yes." She pulled him over to the tree. "And I don't think it was just a vision." She pointed. There, appearing to have been branded on the trunk of the tree was a whitish-grey handprint. He looked at her sharply. "You'd think it was the eyes, or finding this the next morning, and not the storm that scared me so much I didn't sneak out again for months." He tore his eyes from hers and gingerly reached to press his hand against the mark. He let out a slow breath and closed his eyes. "What are you thinking?" she asked.
"Nothing," he said. "It's just, I've never been here, but I have. I've spent so many nights remembering that vision. And I've known it was real for so long now, but even so I still wondered." He focused on her. "How was I here?"
She stepped to him. "I don't know, but I'm glad I found you. Harry pulled her tight. He kissed her crown and then rested his chin on her head.
"Me too," he said. "Me too."
After a few seconds she pushed back from him. "This was only part of what I wanted to show you."
"All right?" he agreed.
She raised her hand to the side. Never looking away, she softly said, "Expecto Patronum." She didn't use a wand, there was no building of mist as her patronus took shape, just a great silver wolf that poured forth from her palm. The wolf moved around them, brushing against Harry's legs as it did. Jolts of something, it had to be magic, like when he held Ginny's hand, coursed through his body. The wolf moved behind Ginny and then stepped right into her and for a moment it seemed she'd been set aglow. She leaned in and gently pressed her lips to his. "Tom was nothing compared to losing you," she whispered when she pulled back again. Harry watched her in wonder. She tugged his hand. "We should probably get back."
Reeling from what she'd done Harry blindly followed along, not waking from his stupor till they reached the edge of the paddock. "Ginny wait."
She turned back. "Harry, you don't have to—"
"Expecto Patronum," he spoke over her. No spell had ever given him trouble like the patronus. But like when he'd transmogrified a headstone for Kaa, he'd just known. As it had then, his magic answered his call with an intensity he hadn't felt but two or three times in his life.
The glowing wolf spilled from his palm and slipped around Ginny's legs, sending magic coursing through her body before it moved into Harry and disappeared within him. A tear slid down her cheek. She'd managed to convince herself it wouldn't matter if his patronus wasn't her animagus; she'd not have been able to cast the charm if she hadn't. But she wasn't sure she'd have been able to do it again if it turned out it wasn't. Somehow she'd gone full circle; from loving the idea they were fated for each other to hating it and then back again.
She reached for him. His hand met hers and their fingers wove together. "I am yours," she said softly. She stepped closer to him.
"I have always been yours," he answered, bending closer.
"I will always be yours," they said together before their lips met.
Fifteen minutes later Ginny was sitting next to Harry on the front step of the Briar Patch. Bill had just trundled past with their trunks. There were so many of them going it would take two flights to get them all to the island and he was on the early one with them. She knew Lily was coming later. She didn't know how Bill and Lily were when she or Harry weren't around but the two had been keeping their distance whenever they were. "Do you think maybe we're not being fair to them?"
Harry turned to her. "Sorry?"
"Just, how miserable were we when we weren't together?"
"You mean…"
"My brother and your mum?"
Harry pursed his lips. He then took a breath and blew it out. "It's just weird."
She shrugged. "Maybe."
"You don't think it is?"
"He was going to marry Sandra," she whispered, looking down. When she didn't go on Harry reached out and raised her chin. "I can't be the reason he's unhappy."
Harry held her eyes for a second before bowing his head in shame. You selfish bastard, he berated himself. Your mum finally maybe isn't crying herself to sleep because she misses your dad and this is how you treat her? He shook himself and leaned in to kiss her. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later Harry, then Ginny, then his mum climbed in the limo. Harry sat next to Daphne and Ginny plopped next to him; leaving a spot between her and Bill for Lily. "Hey," she said, focused on Bill. "Mind if I join you lot?"
Bill glanced at Ginny then Harry. "Seeing I'm dating your sister, I don't really have to explain what happens if you hurt her, do I?" Harry said. Lily took Bill's hand, weaving their fingers together.
"No," Bill said slowly. "I think we understand each other perfectly."
Harry smirked. "Right then."
There was a bit of an uneasy silence as the others exchanged glances. They all knew, but like Harry and Ginny none of the youth brigade had seen them being coupley together. "See," Luna broke the silence, "I told you they just needed to be stupid for a bit."
Bill chuckled. "Or you to smack them upside the head."
"Well, that goes without saying."
Neville snickered. "Don't think I've ever seen her hand that bruised."
"I offered to buy her a beater's bat," Daphne said.
"But we were afraid it wouldn't be hard enough," Hermione said.
Harry and Ginny glowered at the other four. "Why do we like them again?" she asked.
"No idea," Harry muttered.
HPHPHP
Their first day on the island, having grown tired of waiting for the girls, found Harry and Neville down at the beach. Really, how long could it take to put on a swim costume; even if it involved a bit more than a pair of board shorts? The two spread the blanket, using their shoes, a cooler and a basket of food to hold the corners down – Sticking Charms just didn't work on sand. "Think it'll work?" Neville asked.
Harry grabbed a handful of sand. "Only one way to find out." He tossed the sand on the blanket only for it to be repelled back into his face. "Gahh!"
Neville laughed. "Best gift ever," he chortled.
Harry spit out a mouthful of sand. "Git." Neville tossed him a bottle of water. Harry caught it, twisted the cap and took a swig. It took most of the bottle to get all the sand out. "Thanks."
"No problem." The two quickly spread two more blankets and then set big beach umbrellas in the sand before ditching their shirts. "Wait for the girls?"
Harry glanced at the stairs but there was no sight of them. "It'll be dinner before they show up." They hesitated for a second before identical grins graced their faces and they bolted for the water. Hitting the water at full speed they high-stepped as far as they could before diving into the crystal blue. Surfacing, they floated silently for a while. "Remind me again, why has it been almost a full year since we've been here?"
"Cause we're idiots," Neville answered.
"Word," Harry agreed. They were silent for a long time again.
"What do you think of the plan for the second task?" Neville asked.
"Don't want to think about it right now," Harry said.
"Sorry."
"No problem… How's your animagus?"
"Getting closer."
"Yeah?"
"I managed to change an arm last week."
Harry glanced at his friend. "Seriously?"
Neville grinned. "Yep."
"That's awesome. You're probably only a month or two away from cracking it."
"I hope so."
"You'll get it. You managed to apparate a few weeks ago and you can produce a patronus… Some squib you turned out to be." Harry smirked. "Of course I'm still not sure how a bloody rooster is going to scare off a dementor."
Neville splashed him. "Fuck off, Potter." Harry laughed. Neville glowered at him. It had been just his luck his patronus was a damn rooster.
"Aww, come on, Mate, you know I'm just giving you shit. A patronus is a patronus. It's bloody damn difficult magic; barely anyone outside of aurors, unspeakables and curse-breakers can manage it and you're only fourteen. That's some damn good company."
Neville continued to glower at him. "Thanks," he eventually conceded.
"Welcome."
Neville sprawled back to float again. "You getting any closer to it?" Harry said nothing. He wasn't sure why, but for some reason he wasn't in a hurry to share his success this time. "You'll get it," Neville offered.
"Thanks."
"Welcome." They floated about for a bit longer before Harry stood. "They're coming."
Neville straightened. The girls were making their way down the stairs. "About time," he muttered. The two splashed their way out of the water, pausing to use their wands to rinse off the salt before moving to join the girls. Harry zeroed in on Ginny, quite liking her cutoff jeans and loose fitting tee-shirt tied in a knot at her waist. She grinned at him and he smiled back. Her hands moved to the hem of her shirt and raised it over her head. Harry stopped dead. He'd seen Ginny in bra tops and workout shorts before, so her exposed flesh wasn't entirely new to him, but the green, string-bikini top, well it didn't hide much of anything at all. And, quite frankly, his girlfriend was very fit. His jaw dropped. How long he stood there he couldn't have said, but eventually he snapped out of it and met her eyes. Ginny smirked. Harry swallowed. Her hands slid to her shorts and pushed them down her hips and legs, revealing a slightly more modest boy short bottom to her swim costume. Still, all that milky skin covered in delicious freckles he'd yet to taste, his mouth watered. Ginny bent and dug in her bag for a second. When she straightened she was holding a bottle of suntan lotion. She rocked it back and forth in her fingers while giving him a questioning look.
Ten minutes later, Harry said, "I think I'll have to buy Tonks a present."
Ginny groaned softly as he massaged the lotion into her skin. "Good plan."
HPHPHP
"You know, Harry," Daphne mused, "if you were even a few inches taller than a house elf you might be semi attractive.
"Well," Harry retorted, "at least I've still got possibility left to me." Daphne pursed her lips angrily. Harry grinned. "I'm waiting."
"Much like I'm waiting for you to demonstrate a vocabulary beyond that of a five-year-old."
"Enough, you two," Luna said.
"Are we read…" Ginny trailed off as she came in the room. Given she'd spent the last two days ogling Harry in nothing but board shorts, why jeans, work boots, a tight tee-shirt with a flannel shirt tied around his waist should make her mouth go dry she couldn't tell you, but there was really no other word for it; Harry was hot.
Daphne snapped her fingers in Harry's face. "Close your mouth, Potter."
Ginny snapped out of it. At least she knew Harry thought the same thing of her. He moved to her. "Looking good, Weasley."
Ginny looked him up and down. "You don't say."
Harry grinned before pecking her lips. "I'll be fighting them off at the club."
"Come on, Kiddies," Sirius called from the door. The six teens piled out of the complex and into the limo for the ride to the city center. The island wasn't particularly large and it didn't take long to reach the club. Thumping bass greeted them when they climbed from the car. Dozens of teens were already in line under the neon sign so Harry led his friends over to the queue. It only took a few minutes for them to reach the doors.
"I.D. and tickets," a very large man demanded. Harry handed the tickets along with his I.D. over. The man eyed him for a second before handing the I.D. back. "Next." Ginny and the rest quickly showed their . as well. "In you go then." Harry grabbed Ginny's hand and pulled her along.
Inside the club the assault on their ears intensified at least a dozen times over. Harry paused to survey the land. The club was one gigantic room centered on a DJ booth. A large dance floor surrounded the booth and masses of teens were already bumping and grinding about to the beat. Along one wall there was a gigantic bar – serving only nonalcoholic drinks for the night – while the other three walls were lined with tables and groups of teens surrounding them. Harry took a steadying breath. He'd known he'd be testing his ability to handle crowds but hadn't quite counted on this much humanity. Wolf sense wasn't going to do him a lot of good in here. He spotted a table tucked away from the floor a bit that wasn't occupied and led the group over.
"This'll work," Tonks said. It wasn't really necessary for her to morph to pull off appearing to be under eighteen.
Charlie though, he was covered in glamours to hide his hulking six foot four frame. "You lot go have fun," he said. "We'll keep the table."
"Get us a drink first," Tonks said. Ten minutes later, after delivering a pitcher of lemonade and two baskets of burgers and fries to their guard, Ginny pulled Harry onto the dance floor. They managed to push their way over to Hermione, Luna, Daphne and Neville and the six teens danced in a loose group through fast and slow songs, occasionally trading partners among them for a while.
"This is awesome," Daphne shouted in Harry's ear.
Harry laughed. Of all his friends he'd never have bet on Daphne being the real rocker girl among them. She loved bands like AC/DC, Metallica and GnR. As far as she was concerned, the louder, the better. "It's pretty crazy he agreed."
The song ended and a slow ballad came on. Harry stumbled when someone banged into him. "Hey gorgeous," a girl said when he turned. "How about dancing with me?" Before he could say a word she had wrapped her arms around his neck and was leaning in to kiss him. She came up short when Ginny grabbed her by the hair and pulled her back. "OW!"
Ginny stepped in her face. "Touch my boyfriend again and you'll regret it," she hissed.
The girl wasn't alone though and her friends stepped up around her. She sneered down her nose at Ginny. "Maybe we should let him decide if he wants me to touch him?"
Daphne, Luna and Hermione quickly stepped next to Ginny. "She's right, Ginevra," Luna said. "Why don't we ask Harry's opinion?"
Ginny smiled at the other girl. "Of course. It's not like I own him or anything." She turned to Harry. "Harry, this girl wants to dance with you. Do you have anything you'd like to say?"
Harry stepped so he was only about six inches from the other girl. "You know, now I've had a chance to think about it, I do have something to say." He reached out and grabbed the girl by the hip, pulling her middle to his while leaning down. The girl shot a triumphant look at Ginny. "I don't like sluts," Harry said. He let the girl go, turned to Ginny, pulled her in and pressed his lips to hers. She wound her hands up around his neck and thoroughly snogged him back. Harry broke from her. "Piss off, sweetheart," he said without looking away from Ginny.
"Go away," Daphne warned, "before you bite off more than you can chew."
"Are you threatening me?" the girl demanded.
Daphne smiled malevolently. "My dear, sweet girl. You don't seem to understand the mistake you've made. You see, myself, her and her," she pointed at Luna and Hermione, are all blackbelts in Judo. Any one of us could wipe the floor with you and all of your friends and we wouldn't even break a nail doing so. But you see, as bad as that situation is, Ginevra here, she can wipe the floor with the three of us. So, I am not, in fact, threatening you. I don't actually make threats. I make promises… Now turn around and walk away before you find you no longer can."
The girl glowered at Daphne and the others. "How do you know we aren't blackbelts in Judo?" she demanded.
"Because you're soft," Daphne answered.
"Soft? What's that even mean?"
"It means you're not a blackbelt in Judo; or any other martial art for that matter. But if you insist, by all means, let's fight."
The girl glowered at her for a second longer before spinning on her heel. "Come on," she huffed. Her friends quickly followed.
Harry and his friends watched them go. "Ginny," Hermione said when they were out of earshot.
"You're going to kick my arse, aren't you?"
"Yeppa."
Ginny groaned. "Thanks a lot, Daph."
"Better you than me," she retorted.
"Oh, I'm going to kick yours too," Hermione said.
"What about Luna?"
"I like her more than I like you two."
"Touché," Harry chuckled.
Luna kissed Hermione's cheek. "Good answer, Love."
"Shut up, Harry," Daphne muttered.
"Come on you lot," Neville said. "Let's take a break before Harry get's us in another fight."
"Oi!" Harry complained. "That was not my fault."
Half an hour later Harry was sitting at the table with Charlie and Neville. The girls had all gone to the toilet. His mood since the altercation with the other group of girls wasn't particularly great. "All right there, Mate?" Charlie asked.
"Just sick of it."
Charlie chuckled. "You're an alpha, Potter. It rolls off you like fog off the North Sea. There's always gonna be blokes lining up to take a shot at you and there's always gonna be girls who throw themselves at you. Watching you ignore them when they do is the whole reason I trust you with my sister."
"Is it really too much to ask to just enjoy a night out with my friends and girlfriend?"
"To be perfectly honest, in a place like this, yeah, probably."
Harry eyed him. "You sound like you're speaking from experience."
Charlie shrugged. "Could be."
"So where should we go instead?"
"Quieter places. Restaurants instead of bars. Parks. Museums. Theater."
"Concerts?" Neville asked.
"Depends on the band… and the venue. But stay off the floor no matter what."
Harry sighed. "Thanks, Charlie."
"Hey there, Freckles," one of the boys leaning against the wall said as Ginny and the rest walked past on their way to the toilet. She shot him an evil look. "Ohh," the boy taunted, holding his hands up in mock fear. His friends laughed.
Tonks pushed Ginny forward. "Ignore him," she hissed.
"Be waiting for you to come back, Freckles," the boy called after them.
Ten minutes later Ginny was the back of the train as they made their way past the same group of boys on leaving the toilets. "Knew you'd be back, Freckles," he leered. Ginny ignored him till she felt a hand on her ass. She spun around. "Worth every second," he laughed.
"I doubt it," Ginny growled. She stepped in, lifting her knee between his legs. The boy managed to block most of it but hadn't counted on her smashing her forehead into his nose. There was a satisfying crunch followed by the boy howling with pain. Ginny then grabbed his arm and twisted it violently around behind his back; dislocating his shoulder. The boy screamed and collapsed. Ginny hauled off and kicked him in the stones. Before she could do more damage Tonks grabbed her and pulled her back. "Let me go!"
Tonks shoved her at Hermione and Luna. "Get her out of here. Now!" The two plus Daphne forcibly dragged Ginny away from the scene. Tonks turned on the group of boys. Ginny's assault had taken all of about five seconds and the boys were all staring at their friend in varying states of shock. Tonks took her wand out and waved it. Eyes a bit glazed, the boys all focused on her. "Best you boys remember what happens when you sexually assault a girl," she said. They all nodded. She then pointed her wand at each of the boys in turn, leaving them each convinced of a different description of the girl who beat their friend up before hurrying after Ginny and the others.
"It's time to go," Daphne said, marching up to the table.
"What happened?" Charlie asked.
"Among other things, Ginevra introduced her forehead to some idiot's face when he got a bit fresh with her."
"He grabbed my arse!" Ginny exploded. "He's lucky his arm is still attached." She tried shrugging out of Hermione and Luna's grasp.
"His arm still being attached is a bit debatable," Luna muttered.
Harry saw red. The simmering rage that had been driving him ever since Ginny had confessed the sexual assaults Riddle had committed against her surged into his veins like a sudden thunderstorm. He'd sworn he'd kill anyone who ever dared hurt her or any of his friends in that manner again. His magic roiled, filling him with… too much. There was a loud pop and the strobe light over their table exploded. A number of people screamed.
"Bloody hell!" Neville exclaimed trying to shield Daphne.
Harry stood, knocking over his chair. "Where?" he growled. His eyes tracked on the two security guards rushing into the hallway to the toilets. Ginny had just been in the toilets. Before he'd taken two steps Tonks rushed up and blocked him. "She already broke his face and dislocated his shoulder," she hissed. "Now turn around and let's go." Harry tried to step past her. Tonks grabbed his arm. "You're doing it again, Harry; just like you did after Remus." Harry looked at her sharply. Tonks gripped his arm tightly. Harry glanced down. He hadn't realized her wand, hidden from view, was pressed into his side. "Don't make me use it," she warned. His jaw clenched angrily. "Let's go, Harry."
Harry tore his eyes from Tonks, focusing on Ginny. Their eyes locked. "Is it enough?" he asked.
Ginny stopped struggling against Hermione and Daphne. "Ginevra," Luna warned.
Ginny's cheek twitched but she slowly deflated. "No. But I can't kill him either." Harry shrugged out of Tonk's grasp and held his hand out to Ginny. She reached for him and Hermione and Daphne let her go. Harry pulled Ginny to him, tucking her head under his chin.
"Are you all right?"
She nodded. "Take me home."
Without a word he turned. The crowd parted as he stalked forward. The others quickly followed. The limo was waiting for them outside and they quickly piled in. Harry tipped his head back on the seat and closed his eyes. Ginny curled in at his side and he wrapped his arm around her. No one said a word, for which Harry was thankful. He wasn't sure he could keep from exploding if someone tried talking to him. Eventually he felt like he'd got control of himself and picked his head up. Tonks was staring straight at him. She didn't back away. "Thanks."
"No problem," she answered.
HPHPHP
The following morning Harry knocked on the door of Remus and Sirius' bungalow. He slid the door open.
"Hey, Pup," Remus said. "What can I do for you?"
"Actually, I was hoping Sirius was around?"
Remus smirked. "Shower."
"So I timed it right?" He closed the door and pulled up a chair.
"Hey, I've got him regularly getting up before 10:00. What more do you want?"
"10:00," Harry mused. "Outside of being in hospital, I'm not sure I've ever known that."
Remus shrugged. "You've always been an early riser. He's a night owl. Always has been. I don't think he really comes alive till sometime after dinner."
"Early riser or not, I can hardly wait till summer."
"Can't say I blame you." They fell silent for bit. "Heard things got a little exciting last night?"
Harry blew out a breath. "You could say that."
"You all right?"
"She stopped me killing him." Harry shrugged. "That's good, right?"
Remus leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. "You're instinct is understandable, Harry."
Harry looked at the floor. "Is it?" He looked up, focusing on Remus. "I'm not kidding, Remus. I'm pretty sure I would have killed him."
Remus sat back in his chair. He studied Harry for a few moments before leaning forward again so his mouth was near Harry's ear. "Little secret, Harry." He paused for a breath. "Tonks couldn't stop you… not if you didn't really want her to."
Sirius picked then to come out of the toilet. He paused in toweling his hair. "Everything all right?"
Remus stood. He squeezed Harry's shoulder. "I'll leave you to it."
Sirius watched him go then slowly turned to Harry. "Everything all right, Pup?"
Harry sighed. "Yes and no."
Sirius considered for a moment before walking over and sitting down. "Did I do something?"
Harry chuckled mirthlessly. "Nooo, that would be me."
Sirius sat back. "Okay then…"
Harry took a breath and blew it out. "Look, I just… Bugger, this is harder than I thought it'd be."
"Harry, you know I love you, right? Nothing you tell me will ever change that."
"To be honest, that actually makes it harder."
Sirius tipped his head to the side. "All right then. Fuck you, you ungrateful little cocksucker. Take whatever it is you have to say and shove it up your arse so far you can taste it." Harry cocked his head back. Sirius smirked at him. "I can keep going if you like."
Harry snorted. "Well, I can't say as I'd blame you if you actually meant that."
"You think I don't?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just shut your friggin' hole and let me get this out you flea-bitten old mongrel."
Sirius laughed. "There's the little bastard I've come to know and love. Come on then, spit it out."
Harry sighed. He started and stopped a number of times. Sirius pretended to look at his watch. "Oh, fuck you," Harry muttered. Sirius put on a bored expression. "Oh bloody hell!" Harry exploded. "I'm sorry, all right! I ran off last spring after that fucker nearly killed Remus and it's taken me till now to admit I'd done the same thing you did when you went after the rat. And I wouldn't even be here now if Tonks hadn't been there to hit me over the head and tell me I was doing it again when some son-of-a-bitch grabbed Ginny's ass last night. So I get it now. I haven't been fair to you. I've held it against you for going after him, believing the right thing was to have stayed with me; that if I was in that position I'd have done what you didn't. But I was wrong. I'd have done exactly what you did and I'm sorry," he finished quietly. "I'm sorry…" He focused on Sirius. "And thank you. Thank you for putting up with my shit for the last eight years."
Sirius sat there for good long while, reeling from Harry's apology. His mouth opened and closed a number of times. Finally he managed to find his voice. "Harry, I have two great regrets in my life. The first is not agreeing with your mum and helping her force James into naming Remus your Godfather and their Secret Keeper. The second is not proving her intuition wrong by not going after Peter. I've always accepted you and your mum were right about what I should have done that night. I've given up trying to forgive myself for what you went through because of those mistakes. You don't owe me an apology for anything. I'm just glad to have found a bit of justice and the chance to make amends.
Harry considered his next words carefully. He'd expected Sirius to say what he had, but that didn't mean he was right. "That's how you feel. I can accept that. Forgiving yourself is something only you can do. Just know that I'm sorry. I'm done expecting you to make amends. I'm done waiting for you to fuck up. I'm done being angry and I forgive you." He stood and headed for the door.
"Harry," Sirius caught his arm.
"Yeah?"
"Maybe you're right. It's just… well, it's hard."
Harry cracked a smile. "Thanks, Sirius, for being my Godfather."
"It's been an honor, Harry."
Harry rocked his head back and forth. "I know."
Sirius barked out a laugh. "You're still a pain in the arse, Pup."
Harry laughed. "And you're still an arse." The two remained there; Harry standing, Sirius sitting, looking up at him. Harry pulled him up. "Seein' were practically blubbering like a couple of girls I guess we might as well hug."
Sirius laughed and pulled Harry tight. He thumped his back a couple of times. "I love you, Pup."
"You too, Sirius," Harry said. He pounded his back a few times and let the other man go. "I love you too, Sirius."
Sirius eyes were suspiciously bright. "Don't you have a girlfriend or something you should be spending time with?"
"Now you mention it, she's probably wondering where I am."
"Go on then, I'll see you in a bit."
"Sounds good."
Sirius was sitting with Remus on the bench at the top of the stairs to the beach. The two were nursing beers just thinking about what had brought them to this point in their lives. "He's a better man than I am," Sirius said.
Remus didn't necessarily agree with him, but it was an old lament and wouldn't do any good for him to disagree. Sirius was convinced he wasn't worthy of Harry's forgiveness and that wouldn't change till he forgave himself first. Instead, he asked, "Why Peter?" Sirius glanced at him. "I get it, Sirius, I really do. Throwing them off was smart. I just don't get Peter. We never trusted him with anything."
"We trusted him with your secret and being an animagus," Sirius countered.
Remus rocked his head back and forth. "True." They fell silent again. Each trying to understand how it went so wrong.
"I don't know, Remus," Sirius sighed. "I've asked myself why him a million times; because it doesn't make sense. Looking back I can see we never trusted him like that. So why? And Lily, she wanted you, Remus. You can't even imagine the fight she and James had." He shook his head. "She was mad… She was mad he wouldn't listen to her. She was mad he could ever believe you'd betray us for Voldemort… More than anything though, she was mad James brought me into the argument. Said she hadn't realized her name was Potter-Black. Asked me, as she'd already squirted out a Potter heir, if I was ready to go work on one for the Black line."
Remus slowly shook his head. "Do I even want to know what he said?"
"Told her to quit being stupid."
Remus cringed. "And?"
"She told him he was lucky her name was already Potter and agreed to do things his way."
"And took things into her own hands," Remus corrected.
They fell silent for a long time. Sirius eventually rested his face in his hands, pressing his palms into his eyes. "She was right, of course. You should have been his godfather. You should have been the Secret Keeper, and I had no business being part of that discussion."
Remus placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "It's done, Sirius. The only thing that matters is what we do going forward. And, I'd have to say you've done damn well since." He squeezed his shoulder and left him to his thoughts.
HPHPHP
January first found Harry waking with the bright Mediterranean sun burning its way through his closed eyelids. Groaning, he flopped his arm over his eyes and tried to get comfortable again. Unfortunately, the beach without a towel or a blanket made for a very gritty bed. Now, one might wonder just why he'd chosen to spend the night on the beach. He had, after all, been perfectly fine to share with his mum since they'd arrived. So what had changed? What had changed was, sometime after midnight and the customary exchange of New Years' kisses between various couples, watching Bill holding his mum from behind whispering in her ear, seeing her turn scarlet and being hit with the sudden realization the two weren't just dating. His girlfriend's brother was bloody sleeping with his mum! And then he'd realized Bill and his mum'd had ample opportunity to sleep together while they'd been there and the concept he was sleeping in a bed with his mum that she had most likely been, well, you know in, well, he'd nearly vomited on the spot. That had immediately been followed by a rather intense desire to inflict great bodily harm on his girlfriend's brother. Rather than do that, he'd retreated to the beach where he'd fallen asleep.
"Sleep well?" a voice penetrated his thoughts.
Harry forced himself not to react, instead drawing a slow deep breath. Her scent finally penetrated his senses. The wind blowing in from the sea must be stronger than he thought. "You're sleeping with him, aren't you?"
It was a few moments before she responded. "Yes." Harry said nothing. "I love him, Harry."
Harry grimaced. He wanted to be angry. He wanted to yell and scream and tell her just how weird it was. But he couldn't. He couldn't, because just like Ginny couldn't be the reason Bill was miserable, he couldn't be the reason his mum was miserable. He sat up and faced her. "Have you slept with him here?"
"Yes."
"In the bed you're sharing with me?" His mum's eyes widened. "You have! Oh bloody hell!" He jumped to his feet. "Excuse me while I go drown myself in bleach or something."
Mum grabbed his arm. "Harry, stop!"
Harry jerked away from her. "Just, urgh." He shuddered. "It's disgusting, Mum! It's like, like… I can't even come up with something!"
"I haven't slept with him in our bed, Harry!"
Harry stopped ranting. "You haven't?"
"No."
"Oh. Well, that's all right then… Thank the goddess."
"It is?"
"It is what?"
"You're ok that I'm sleeping with him?
Harry watched her for a second. "Well, it was kind of stupid of me to think you weren't, wasn't it?"
"Harry," she warned.
"I meant what I said, Mum. I just want you to be happy… And you are. Or at least you are when you're in the moment with him and have managed to allow yourself to forget your son might be struggling with this. He makes you happy, Mum. Truth is, it's pretty easy to see. So yeah, it's weird. But I trust Bill. So I'll get over it." Mum watched him and Harry just looked straight back at her. A tear slid down her cheek and he reached to dry it away. "I love you, Mum."
She tugged him back down so he was sitting front of her where she wrapped her arms around him. "I love you too, Baby."
Half an hour later Ginny, hand in hand with Bill, approached them. "Mind if we join you?" he asked.
"Please," Lily said. Bill sat next to her while Ginny sat in front of him, leaning back against his chest. Lily leaned over, resting her head on Bill's shoulder. Harry reached over and took Ginny's hand.
"So," Ginny ventured after a bit, "family dinner tonight?"
"Kind of thought we'd been having family dinner every night we've been here," Harry said.
"I meant, the four of us, you dolt."
"Oh."
"I think that'd be lovely, Ginny," Lily said.
"Me too, Mum." The other three looked at her sharply. Ginny had only ever called her Mrs Potter. "If it's all right with you," Ginny whispered.
Lily grabbed her and hauled her into her arms. "I'd be honored, Ginny," she said, vehemently. She kissed her crown.
Ginny hugged her back. "I love you, Mum." Lily crushed her tightly and kissed her crown again. When she finally let Ginny go the two sat watching each other through watery eyes. Ginny dried her eyes before nervously focusing on Bill.
He smiled. "Are you happy?"
"As I've ever been."
"I know."
"You're not mad?"
He shook his head. "Not mad. Sad, but not mad."
Ginny leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I love you, Bill."
He pulled her tight. "You too, Firefly. You too."
HPHPHP
Harry stopped on the last landing before the beach and just watched. Ginny was sitting just above the tideline staring out into the lightening sky. They'd be leaving today and despite outward appearances the sun and sand didn't seem to be having the same positive effects on his girlfriend as it had the rest of them. Ginny had become more and more subdued as the days passed by. Sighing, he stepped onto the beach and went and sat beside her. She didn't offer a greeting and he remained silent, sitting with his arms up on his knees. "There," she said softly as the sun emerged from the glowing red bulge on the horizon.
"I love the sunrise," Harry said. A brief smile graced her face before fading again. She said nothing and he remained silent while they watched the sun grow from a thin disk to a blazing yellow ball.
"I think I need to see my mother," she whispered. Harry turned to her but she continued to stare out into the sea. "I see her face all the time. Asleep, awake, it's why my head hurts all the time."
"All right," Harry said.
She turned to him. "I'm blocking something."
Harry frowned. "Blocking something?"
"Anytime I think about her my head feels like it did when I saw you pull Tom's diary from your bag."
Harry considered. "And you think seeing her might help you break through whatever block you've erected in your mind?"
"Yes."
Harry watched her for a few moments. "Is this something you need to do alone?"
"No," she answered.
"Then I'll be with you."
She returned to staring out at the sea. It was a long time before either of them spoke again. "After everything I did," she whispered, "what's so bad I've blocked it out?"
Harry reached for her chin, turning her to him. "You didn't do anything." He held her eyes.
"Promise?"
Harry pulled her so she was in front of him, her back to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed the back of her head and then rested his chin on her shoulder. "Promise."
HPHPHP
They could have apparated, but the desire to keep every weapon a secret as long as possible had Harry and Ginny portkeying to her treehouse. He followed her out the trap door and down the ladder. She took his hand. The house was the other direction from the paddock and Harry hadn't given it much scrutiny on that visit. Now, he tipped his head, trying to deal with the apparent unevenness. "Cool."
Ginny snorted. "As if. They whole place would fall over if it wasn't being held up by magic."
Harry grinned. "I know, that's what makes it brilliant."
"You're mental."
"There are a million perfect houses in the world." He waved his hand at the Burrow. "Give me this any day of the week."
"There's no electricity."
"Thaaat could be a problem." Remus and Sirius might have got his guitar and keyboard working with magic, but they'd yet to crack his stereo. They fell silent, looking at it and Harry became aware Ginny was trying to gather her nerve. He said nothing and waited. She would confront her mother or she wouldn't, but she'd do it in her own time and he wasn't going to push her one way or the other. Without a word she set off. He followed.
They reached the back porch and climbed the steps. She stopped before entering. Without taking her eyes from the door, she asked, "Stay here, please?"
Harry squeezed her hand. "Sure." It was another few seconds before she let his hand go and pushed the door open. The door closed and Harry was left to stare at it. Sighing, he sat down on the step with his back against a post and waited.
Auntie was at the table in the kitchen. "Hello, Ginny."
Ginny gave her a small smile. "Hello, Auntie, good Christmas?"
"Yes. You?"
"Yes."
"I'm glad." She nodded towards the door. "Your mother and William are in the parlour." Ginny hesitated. "You don't have to do this, Ginny."
Ginny's resolve hardened. "I'm not going to be the reason Charlie's wedding is ruined." She stepped forward and pushed the door open. Bill and her mother were on the couch quietly talking. They looked up when the door opened. Ginny stared at her mother. Her mother stared back.
"Ginny?" her mother asked. Ginny tipped her head slightly. The pressure she'd felt in her mind since before school had started in the fall built. The pain became blinding. She groaned and hit her knees; hard. She pitched forward, catching herself from falling on her face with a hand on the floor. "Ginny!" her mother cried lunging forward.
Bill caught her arm. "Leave her." She tried pulling away from him but he was much too strong for her to break his grip. "I said, leave her."
Inside her mind Ginny flew deeper into the fathomless depths than even she'd known existed. On and on, guided not by sound or sight but feel; icy emptiness to terrify even the dementor marked her path and she hurtled down it till a small sphere of light flared in the dark. She stopped. Within the sphere was a tiny red-headed little girl. She sat, cross-legged and bent over at the waist. "Go away," she squeaked without looking up.
"Look at me," Ginny said.
The girl shook her head. "No. I won't let you have it."
Ginny reached out, grabbed the girl's chin and jerked her head up. The eyes of her three-year-old self flashed defiantly back at her. Ginny recoiled, falling on her bum in the process. "Go away!" the younger version of herself screamed. Ginny stared at the girl from where she'd fallen. The girl's eyes burned with anger, fear and betrayal and tears streaked her face. Ginny's eyes locked on a small box in the girl's lap. A box she hadn't seen in over two years; a gift from her mother on her third birthday. A box that still sat on her desk in her bedroom upstairs. One her brothers couldn't open, touch or even see. A special gift from a mother to daughter; a place a lone girl in a house full of boys could keep her treasures without fear her brothers might find them. The girl saw her eye it and immediately curled around it. "You can't have it!" Ginny picked herself up and reached for the girl. "NO! I won't let you."
Ginny forced her hands in, gripped the box and prized it away from the little girl. "It's mine," Ginny snarled.
The girl stood up. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" she screeched at the top of her lungs.
"I don't care."
The girl glared at her and before Ginny's eyes she grew till she was exactly as Ginny was now. "She won't admit it, you know," her doppelganger said.
"Then why do you care?" Ginny countered. Between the blink of an eye the doppelganger disappeared.
Pushing up from where she'd hit the floor, Ginny sat back on her heels. She squeezed her eyes closed before giving her head a little shake and opening them again. Another shake and she climbed to her feet.
"Firefly?" Bill asked.
Ginny focused on her mother. Bill was holding her by the arm, keeping her away. "Ginny?" she asked.
"Whom did you go out with when you broke up with dad?" Ginny asked.
Her mother blinked. "What?"
"You broke up with dad during your seventh year. You went out with someone else. Who was it?"
"I – I, what are you talking about?"
"Answer the question, mother."
"Now see here, young lady—"
"Mum—"
"Be quiet, Bill," Ginny cut him off. He fell silent, pressing his lips together tightly. "You broke up with dad. You went out with someone else. He is the person who gave you the diary," Ginny said.
"What are you talking about?" her mother snapped angrily. "Your father and I were together from the time we were eight. I never broke up with him and I certainly never went out with someone else, much less the person responsible for giving you the diary."
Ginny eyed her. She took a deep breath and blew it out, forcing herself to remain calm. "I'm not blaming you, you know. I just want his name. I want his name so I can make him pay for what he did to me. I want his name so I can make him pay for murdering dad."
"I never broke up with your father!"
Ginny studied her. "Never?"
"Never."
Ginny considered for a second. "Fine, I'll believe you."
Molly cocked her head back. "You will?"
"Lucius Malfoy." Ginny, Bill and Molly turned. Auntie was standing in the entry to the kitchen. "Your mother broke up with your father for a period of about four months during her seventh year. She spent considerable time in the company of Lucius Malfoy." Bill groaned and sank into a chair, his face in his hands.
"I'm sorry, Molly, but I will not be silent where Ginevra's safety is at stake."
A tear slid down Ginny's cheek. She moved towards the kitchen. Auntie moved aside for her. "Thank you, Auntie," she croaked.
"Ginny!" Molly cried. Ginny hesitated. "Ginny please, I'm sorry. I – I was embarrassed. I'm sorry. I did break up with your father for a short time and – and…"
Ginny turned back. "All you had to do was tell me the truth."
"Ginny."
"Never write me again." She turned around and hurried out the back door.
"Ginny!"
Harry stood when the door opened. Ginny crashed into him. "Take me home," she gasped.
He pushed her back. "Love?
"There's nothing here for me anymore," she said brokenly. "Please," she pleaded when he hesitated.
Harry triggered his portkey. The two landed in a heap in a pile of straw in the barn. "Uffha," he groaned. It seemed no matter what he did, portkeying in tandem with someone was guaranteed to have him landing on the bottom. Thankfully he managed to escape without Ginny breaking any of his ribs.
"Sorry," she said meekly. She stood and started to walk away.
Harry scrambled after her. "Ginny, wait!" he grabbed her arm.
"Please, Harry, I just need to be alone for a bit."
He tugged her back, wrapping his arms around her he tucked her head under his chin. "The hell you do." She was stiff in his arms for a few seconds but she quickly gave in. Harry pulled her back into the straw pile and sat with her in his lap. "I love you, right?" She nodded jerkily. He kissed her crown. "Good."
"Stop her!" Molly screamed. She ran through the kitchen and threw the back door open in time to see Ginny disappear with Harry holding her in his arms. "What's he doing here?" she shrieked. She spun back around and marched through the kitchen to the parlour. Bill was slumped in his father's old chair. "Go get her! Go get her right now or I'll go down to the Ministry and file a report that he kidnapped her."
"Molly Weasley," Auntie snapped.
"You keep out of this!"
Bill surged out of his chair. "You had one chance!" he roared. She backed away from him, falling on her bum on the couch when she ran into it. Bill towered over her. "Two years it took me to get her here!" he raged. "Two years of begging and pleading with her to try and salvage our family and you threw it away. She'd have forgiven you. And you threw it away," he said disgustedly.
"I was embarrassed!" she shrieked. "I never wanted anyone to know that!"
"So instead you threw her away." He shook his head. "All this time, and she was right. I refused to see it, but she was right."
"Right about what!"
"You." He spun around and stalked out of the room. The back door slammed and a second later the sharp crack of apparation told the story he'd left.
Silence held the room for a long few moments. "Get out of my house," Molly whispered.
Minerva strode for the stairs. Ronald and the twins were already at William's so this could occur without worry of eavesdropping. With them heading to school in the morning she had no reason to stay longer than needed to gather her things. "Gladly."
HPHPHP
Author's notes:
First, the songs.
The first song is, in fact, called Constellations. It was written by a friend of mine. Her name is Kenzie Rose and if you'd like to, you can find her album on I Tunes. It is called Kenzie Rose. Her style is a bit like an early Taylor Swift.
Song two is called Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls.
And last, when I started, I always planned to fix Ginny and Molly's relationship. The more I wrote, the more broken it became. I'd say at this point it's pretty much irrevocably lost.
I did wonder though that no one ever asked me about this. Riddle did tell Ginny her mother had broken up with her father and that the boy she'd spent time/dated was the boy who had eventually murdered her father, tried to kill Bill and been responsible for giving Molly the diary to give to Ginny. Riddle never said Lucius' name, but this was a major thing and I've been just waiting for someone to ask me why the heck Ginny never took that info to Bill or demanded answers of Molly. I don't know if I should be proud of having managed to get away with this, or if I should be disappointed in myself for not making it clear enough that people weren't asking about it.