The next morning, Viktor wandered into the kitchen, following the smell of pancakes and coffee.
"Good morning!" Phichit smiled broadly as he flipped a pancake in his pan. "I hope you don't mind me rummaging through your stuff."
"Not at all. You may as well know where things are if you're going to be staying here." Viktor grabbed the coffee pot and poured himself a large mug of the steaming caffeine. He hadn't slept a wink after Yuuri's panic the prior evening, and the sleep he'd gotten before wasn't really of any quality. He took a long gulp of his coffee, not minding that it was too hot and burned as it went down. "I didn't know you cooked."
"Well Yuuri and I couldn't order in for every meal in Detroit." Phichit chuckled. "We tended to figure thing out."
"Smells great." He nodded to the stack of already cooked pancakes on the counter.
"Grab some, I'm almost done here. I doubt Yurio and Otabek will be up any time soon, so there's not use in waiting."
"Did you sleep?" Viktor asked, finally noticing that it wasn't even seven am.
"Yeah, kind of." Phichit shrugged. "I slept a lot on the plane, and at the airport. There wasn't much to do so I dozed off quite a lot actually."
"I see." Viktor grabbed some jam from the fridge, his favourite pancake topping. "Hopefully tonight will be better. I should bring some of these to Yuuri…" He trailed off, referring to pile of breakfast in his hands.
"Of course." Phichit poured a fresh glob of batter into his pan. "Oh, Viktor."
"Hmm?"
"I know you're keeping something from me."
"How do you mean?" Viktor was proud of himself for keeping his voice level.
"I know Yuuri didn't just get beaten up by someone."
"What makes you say that?"
"You. Your demeanor. Yurio's too. There's no way you'd need Otabek and I to come out here if Yuuri was just physically injured. And from what I've heard, his condition isn't even that bad. You wouldn't be losing sleep over a concussion and some broken ribs. Something else happened. I don't know what, but I will at some point. Even if you, Yurio, and Yuuri all manage to keep it from me. Know that I'm very good at figuring out secrets."
"Well in that case you should know that I'm very good at keeping secrets." Viktor countered. Phichit's tone wasn't threatening; he was simply concerned for his friend, and wanted to know the details. "Especially when it comes to Yuuri. If he does not want you to, you will not know."
"Good to know." Phichit smiled again. "Let me know how the pancakes are!"
Viktor called over his shoulder that he would, and made his way back upstairs. When he opened the door to the guest room they were staying in, Viktor found Yuuri still sleeping soundly, which was a relief. He hadn't so much as stirred since his earlier panic.
"Yuuri." Viktor whispered, setting the plate down on the night stand and placing a gentle hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Wake up my love." Yuuri stirred for a moment before groggily opening his eyes. "Phichit made breakfast." Viktor helped Yuuri to sit up and lean against the wall, careful not to jostle him too much. "Did you sleep okay?"
Yuuri shrugged as Viktor sat down on the bed with him, balancing the plate of pancakes in his lap while he opened the jar of raspberry jam and slathered the pastries with it.
"Any more nightmares?" Viktor asked, keeping his voice soft.
Yuuri shrugged again. Viktor knew him well enough to know that that meant yes. At least they hadn't been bad enough to wake him up.
"Perhaps when your concussion is better we will have to consider seeing a therapist."
Yuuri's eyes widened and his breath caught at that suggestion. Letting someone else know what had happened? A stranger? No! it was bad enough that Viktor and Yurio knew! How could Yuuri possibly open up to stranger about such an embarrassing topic?
"It was just a suggestion." Viktor placed his hand over Yuuri's, which made the younger man tense even further. Of course it did. The sick bastards had ruined comfort for Yuuri. Any actions Viktor had previously performed to calm his fiancé had flown out the window, probably making a leisurely trip around the world with lots of pit stops before they would return. Viktor let his hand slip away, and was surprised when Yuuri followed him, latching on tightly as if to say, "I'm trying."
"I love you so much, Yuuri." Viktor squeezed his hand. He didn't say those words enough. Yuuri squeezed back, hoping Viktor would understand that he was returning the words. Viktor was smart. He could figure it out.
The two ate. Rather, one ate, the other took a bite and gagged, his memories returning to the foreign tongues exploring his mouth. He tried again, but yielded the same results. Tears sprang to his eyes as he once again leaned over the edge of the bed and violently dry heaved into the nearby trashcan.
"It's okay." Viktor held Yuuri as he shook. "Let's start small, yes?" But Viktor didn't know what was keeping Yuuri from eating. He thought it was nausea from the concussion, or the nerves tying his intestines in a knot too tight for anything to pass through. Only Yuuri would knew what was going on in his head, and he intended to keep it that way. After all, how would Viktor ever kiss him again if he knew how many lips had been on his? How many people's saliva had mixed with his own? He wouldn't. And Yuuri didn't blame him. He was disgusting. Filthy. He didn't even understand how Viktor was okay with holding his hand, or sleeping in the same bed as him. How was Viktor hugging him right now? How could he continue to tell Yuuri that he loved him? If it was true, how could that be? If it was false, why did he care enough to lie? Why hadn't he just accepted that Yuuri wasn't worth the effort? That he didn't deserve the love Viktor was willing to give? Why?
"How about I get you some juice?" Viktor suggested once Yuuri's tears had run their course. He felt the gentle nod and Yuuri untangling himself from Viktor's torso. "I'll be back soon." He assured, seeing Yuuri's eyes widen at the realisation that Viktor would be leaving him alone. "Two minutes."
Yuuri nodded, gathering shaky fistfuls of the quilt and counting his breaths as the door was left ajar and Viktor disappeared. Yuuri would rather have latched on and never let go as Viktor left, but the doctor had said he needed to stay in a dark room for at least forty-eight hours with no electronics and minimal noise. That, and Viktor was probably already annoyed with him for not speaking… and now he couldn't even eat. How Viktor hadn't given up on him already, Yuuri didn't know.
"Hey, can I come in?" a usually aggressive but strangely soft voice asked from the door. Yuuri looked up to see Yurio standing there, peeking through the space that Viktor had left. He nodded, signaling Yurio to enter. As much as he was embarrassed about Yurio knowing what had happened, he really didn't want to be left alone.
"How are you feeling?" Yurio asked, perching at the end of the bed, giving Yuri his space. Yurio could feel the waves of stress rolling off of Yuuri, fifty times stronger than usual.
Yuuri only shrugged in response, gathering more quilt to hide his shaking hands. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red and hoped Yurio couldn't see it in the dark. Showing weakness in front of him was like showing weakness in front of a little brother; it only deepened the shame Yuuri already felt.
"Yuuri, look at me." A bit of the edge returned to Yurio's voice, but it was still oddly gentle. Yuuri obliged, forcing the tears not to fall. Why the hell was he crying anyway? Nothing had happened. "We're here for you. If you need anything, from any of us, especially Viktor and me, ask and it's yours."
Yuuri nodded, feeling a stab of guilt pierce his empty stomach. His friends had taken time out of their training, their lives, to help him. He wasn't worth that. He would rather they go home and leave him to figure things out. After all, he'd fallen down this hole alone, so he should be the one to dig himself out of it… right?
"Hey, I mean it." Yurio snapped when Yuuri broke eye contact. "You are not alone. Not by a long shot. It's okay to need help." His voice softened back down to its original tone with the last bit. Yurio could tell exactly what Yuuri was thinking, and knew that such thoughts were only going to make matters worse. Yuuri had been a loner before, but that just wouldn't do in this situation.
"You guys are having a party without me?" Viktor smiled to see his two Yuri's sitting in peace. He'd caught the back end of Yurio's speech, and was thankful to hear words of affirmation coming from someone else's mouth. Yuuri needed them.
"I was just going to get some breakfast, whatever Phichit made smells amazing." Yurio stood to leave, and caught Viktor's look on his way out. It was a look of gratitude, which Yurio responded to with a nod.
Once Yurio was out of the room and the door had closed, Viktor took his seat on the edge of the bed and offered the glass of orange juice to Yuuri. "Now, shall we try this?"