No Harm Done
Phil was sitting in the kitchen watching his eccentric wife bake some chocolate chip cookies when his grandson walked in.
"Hey! How was school shortman?"
"Okay I guess."
Pookie walked over to place the tray of cookies on the table with a glass of milk and said "Here you are Mon Captain. You'll need plenty of energy for our Titanic search this evening!"
"No thanks grandma."
Phil reached for a cookie from the tray and asked "What's the problem shortman?"
"Well, today at lunch they were serving chocolate pudding."
"Ooohh! Did ya bring one home for me?" the elderly man winked.
Arnold placed his head in his hand and sighed "No one got any."
"Hmmm...is that so?"
"When chocolate boy saw what was being laid out, he hopped on the lunch counter and dove right into the pudding. There was a mess everywhere!"
Phil chuckled at his grandson's story and said "Arnold, did I ever tell you about the time my dad caught me smoking?"
"Uhh no?"
"Ho boy! I was in the backyard with Jimmy Kafka, smoking a cigarette we found in the street."
"What happened?"
Thinking back to the day with a smile on his face, Phil explained "My dad was so mad when he caught us! He sent Jimmy home and said he was going to make sure he never had to worry about catching me with one of those things again!"
"How'd he do that?"
"Hehe. He took me out back with a carton of cigarettes and made me smoke until the thought of ever touching another cigarette made me sicker to my stomach than the sight of your grandma's raspberry cobbler!"
Not being too amused by the story, Arnold replied "I don't think eating too much chocolate will fix chocolate boy's problem. That's all he's been eating for years."
"Well then, run down to the store and buy a caffeine patch. That way he'll have something to cling to without doing harm to himself or others."