"What did you hit your head on?" Viktor was relaying the doctor's questions to Yuuri, who wrote out answers in shaky, crooked writing as Viktor talked on the phone. "The fridge. He fell in the kitchen."

"And how long has it been since he sustained his first concussion?"

"Six days."

"Is he still dizzy?"

"Are you dizzy?" Viktor could pretty much answer that question by the state of Yuuri's writing, but figured he should ask in case there was something else causing the kindergartener-esque scripture. "Very."

"When were you supposed to see the specialist for a follow up?"

"Tomorrow."

"Well keep that appointment, he didn't lose consciousness?"

"No."

"Good, wake him up every two hours through the night, stay away from electronics, light, loud noises and stressful situation until you see the specialist tomorrow. You can give him acetaminophen based painkillers, but nothing with ibuprofen. Oh, and definitely no aspirin."

"Okay, thank you."

Viktor hung up with that. It was nothing he hadn't heard the first night out of the hospital.

"Do you want some Tylenol?" He asked, gently brushing Yuuri's bangs out of his eyes. Viktor was overcome with joy that Yuuri no longer shied away from his touch, it was a major victory in his eyes.

No, not in pain, just dizzy.

"Okay, that's good." Viktor smiled. "The doctor said you need to do the quiet and dark therapy until tomorrow, and I have to wake you up every two hours to make sure you're not in a coma."

Fun. It was nice that Viktor could hear the sarcasm in Yuuri's writing. Some of his personality was returning, albeit slowly.

"You never got your water, did you?" Viktor suddenly remembered the shattered glass and water on the floor of the kitchen.

No.

"How about I get that for you now?"

Okay.

Viktor was weary to leave Yuuri alone with his thoughts, but he seemed to have calmed down, and he would only be gone a minute.

"Hey." Yurio attempted a half smile as Viktor came into the kitchen. He and Otabek were on their hands and knees, cleaning up the mess that had been left by Yuuri's episode. Phichit was taking Makkachin for a walk, keeping him out of the way for the moment. "What did the doctor say?"

"Dark and quiet room, waking intervals and no stress until after the appointment tomorrow." Viktor sighed as he grabbed a plastic cup and went to the sink.

"So you can't talk about it then?"

"Nope." Viktor shook his head. He had a white-knuckle grip on the counter accompanied by shoulders that could practically be called earrings.

"Is he feeling better?" Otabek piped up from the floor as he picked up larger chunks of glass.

"He's calmed down."

"Okay. Both of you idiots need to stop blaming yourselves right now." Yurio suddenly was on his feet after a moment of silence, a different type of powerful edge in his voice. He didn't sound like an angsty teen as usual, rather a mature adult who was fed up with a couple of children not listening to them. "I can tell you both think this panic attack was your fault. Beka, you didn't know it would set him off, and you were trying to keep him from injuring himself. Viktor, you weren't here because you were getting important information that he needs to know. I wasn't here either, because I'm a tag along. Phichit didn't know what to do because he hasn't been through a panic attack with Yuuri in so long. He was even pushing Makkachin away! Stop thinking it was your fault and just help him!"

"Hey, calm down." Yurio was suddenly wrapped in Beka's strong but gentle arms. Viktor was staring at him, concern written all over his face. Yurio wasn't sure why he was getting all of the attention until he heard a quiet splat, and realised it was a tear that had dropped off of his chin and onto the floor. "You blame yourself too."

"We weren't there…" Yurio trailed off. It was the first time he'd shown any weakness since Viktor had hung up on him the night it happened. He hadn't realised it, but he had been holding in all of his rage and anguish for almost a week. And now it had finally come out. He couldn't even pinpoint the reason as to why he blamed himself. Perhaps it was because he'd spent three hours spinning and jumping on ice while Yuuri had been going through what was easily the most traumatic experience of his life. He hadn't known. He was happy, doing something he loved, while Yuuri was being torn apart by eight disgusting, selfish hands. He finally let loose and collapsed into Beka's arms. "We weren't there."

"Yuri." Again with the lack of nickname. He looked up into Viktor's watery eyes. "We couldn't have prevented it. Both of us know that; it's just a matter of getting ourselves to believe it."

Yurio nodded, but continued to sob into Beka's chest.

"I need to be with him, I'll come talk to you when he falls asleep, okay?"

Yurio nodded and Viktor trekked upstairs, giving a nod of thanks to Otabek on his way.

"Yuuri, what's wrong?" Viktor opened the door to his fiancé silently letting tears roll down his face.

I'm sorry. Was all the notepad said

"Why? Why are you sorry?" Viktor quickly moved to sit next to Yuuri, wanting to wrap him in his arms but figuring he should let Yuuri dictate the physical contact.

I heard everything Yurio said. You're all in this position because of me. You all feel bad because of me. I'm stressing all of you out because you don't know when I'm going to go off. I'm like a bomb without a countdown. I hate it. I want to be better. I don't want to be a burden. I'm not worth your worrying. I-

"Stop it right now." Viktor took the pen away from Yuuri before he could write anything more. He hoped his tears were visible in the darkness. "Don't ever think for a second that this is your fault. And don't ever say you're a burden, or not worth it. You are worth everything to me, Yuuri. If I had to throw away everything to be with you, I would do it. I love you so fucking much Yuuri, I don't even know how to comprehend it. I sure as hell don't expect you to be able to. Nothing that happens will ever be too much for me to handle. Ever. I need you to understand that I'll be here for you until the end. So will Yurio. So will Phichit. And Otabek will be by Yurio's side so we may as well count him too. I don't say it enough. I love you. Unconditionally. If in ten years, you're still talking to me through a notebook and kicking me off the bed because of nightmares and having panic attacks every other day, I will stand by your side. I will love you forever. That's the only thing in this world that I'm certain of."

Yuuri didn't ask for his pen back. He didn't need to. All he needed to do was melt into Viktor's shoulder and cry, latching onto him for dear life while Viktor did the same.