"Is the water okay?" Viktor asked as Yuuri ran his fingers across the still surface of the pleasantly warm bathwater. He nodded. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes to help you get out, okay?"
Yuuri tensed. He knew Viktor wouldn't hurt him. Ever. But being in such a vulnerable position around someone else, even someone he completely trusted, had Yuuri feeling uneasy.
"You don't have to be afraid anymore, my love." Viktor assured with a final firm hug. "You're safe."
Yuuri nodded again, signalling that Viktor could leave. Once the door shut, Yuuri pulled at the hem of his sweatshirt, bringing it up and over his head before he let it plop onto the floor with an unimpressive sound of impact. He stared at his wrists for a moment. They were healing, bruises mostly faded but still yellow in some spots. There were a few patches of raw skin where the ropes had cut deeper into his wrists; they would undoubtedly sting when the warm water made contact. His gaze wandered up his arms, which looked mostly normal aside from a couple of scattered bruises that had also mostly healed. His chest was a different story. When Yuuri pulled his t-shirt off, he caught sight of the purple, plate sized bruise on his side, where his ribs had been broken. They felt better for the most part, and only really bothered him when he coughed, or hyperventilated, or laid weird... okay maybe they didn't really feel better except when he was sitting still.
Yuuri glanced to the door, making sure it was firmly closed, before he mentally prepared to take his track pants off. He took a deep breath, reminding himself for the millionth time that he was safe, contained in the four walls of his otherwise empty bathroom.
His boxers were the hardest. He couldn't seem to convince himself that it was impossible for someone to simply appear out of thin air and hurt him again. He decided maybe it would be okay to leave them on and change them later.
Yuuri eased himself into the tub, lowering his body slowly into the warm embrace it offered. It was almost as nice as being snuggled up with Viktor and Makka. Almost. It was just as warm, and did quite a good job of relaxing and clearing Yuuri's mind. But the water didn't quite have the same ability to calm him down instantaneously.
Yuuri sunk down further, letting his head loll back so his hair was submerged. He relaxed like that for a minute, before he remembered why he had gotten into the bath in the first place. He grabbed the pine scented soap and a loofa from the edge of the tub and got to work.
He scrubbed every inch of his skin, washing away the handprints that had been left on his skin. perhaps his scrubbing was slightly over-zealous, but he didn't care if there were angry red patches stinging his arms or tiny beads of blood leaking into the water from his stomach, he felt clean. Well, cleaner.
Once he had finished scrubbing his hair, Yuuri submerged his body completely, leaving only his nose and mouth above the water. He let his mind go blank, something it hadn't been able to do in the past week, and just existed. For a moment, he thought he might be happy.
But then Viktor knocked on the door.
"I'm coming in, okay?" He called, before remembering Yuuri wouldn't answer.
He slowly cracked the door open and peeked into the bathroom, looking for Yuuri's nod of confirmation. He got it, and slipped through the door, closing it behind him. "The others got back not long ago, sorry it's been a bit longer than fifteen minutes." Viktor smiled sheepishly as Yuuri drained the tub and reached for a towel. "Let me help you out." Viktor slowly approached, as if Yuuri were a wild animal that could lash out at any given moment. But he seemed fine. He looked much more relaxed than Viktor had seen him in the past week. "You left your shorts on?" Viktor mused as Yuuri extended his arms for help. Viktor loved that he was not only accepting the assistance Viktor offered, but seeking it out himself. Viktor took hold or Yuuri's elbows, the younger man following suit as he got to his feet.
Yuuri only nodded at Viktor's comment about his bathing attire, and wrapped a towel around his waist before stepping out of the tub.
"Do you feel better?" Viktor found his hands hovering around Yuuri, not willing to let him fall again. Especially not on the cold ceramic tiles of the bathroom floor. Viktor's eyes wandered over Yuuri's bruised skin, and lingered on the angry red patches. "Did you scratch yourself?"
Yuuri looked down, feeling as though he should be ashamed of the marks from the vigorous scrubbing, but simply felt content that there were spots of his skin that hadn't been touched by evil, disgusting hands. Those spots were fresh and new, untainted.
Yuuri just shrugged, walking with Viktor to their room and plopping down on the bed.
"This probably isn't the best time, but we need to talk about something..." Viktor trailed off as he grabbed a pair of track pants and a t-shirt for Yuuri and dropped them on the bed. The raw patches of skin that littered Yuuri's body made him chew on his lip in concern, but he figured as long as it didn't become a habit, Yuuri would be okay.
Yuuri looked up at him curiously as he slipped the shirt over his head and gestured for Viktor to turn around while he changed his boxers and put on pants.
"There will probably never be a good time for this but… When I went to the police station yesterday, I got three names, and two options of what we can do moving forward."
Yuuri tensed as Viktor sat back down next to him. Viktor reached for Yuuri's hand, but it slipped away from him just as he was about to intertwine their fingers.
Only three? Yuuri wrote out, all feelings of relaxation and cleanliness flying out the window, probably having landed somewhere in Canada.
"Yes, the fourth has never had a confrontation with law enforcement." Viktor didn't want to talk about it almost as much as Yuuri didn't want to hear about it, but it needed to be discussed and their path decided upon.
What are the options?
"We take them to court, but cases like these don't go over very well because of quote en quote 'misinterpreted information.' Also, it is likely that since we're considered to be public figures, your name will end up all over the news. Everyone will know." Yuuri tensed even more when Viktor uttered those words. It was bad enough that Yurio knew. If it ended up in the news JJ would find out. Chris would know. Minami, Yuko, Takeshi, Minako, his parents, Mari. Everyone.
There's no way to guarantee it'll be kept quiet?
"No. Especially not if we win and they get arrested." Viktor sighed. "The reports will be detailed."
What's the other option?
"Do nothing." Viktor hung his head, hoping with every fibre of his being that Yuuri wouldn't pick the second option. "It will keep us out of the news, but it will also let them free on the streets."
Why do we even need to fight it? There's evidence.
"Yurio asked the same thing." Viktor shook his head, thinking back to Alexi's explanation. "Something about possible consent. Bullshit, essentially. But we can fight it. We can win. We can put them away and make sure they never hurt anyone else. What... What's wrong?" Viktor noticed tears brimming in Yuuri's eyes as the raven haired man slumped deeper in on himself.
We won't win.
"What? Why would you say that? They forced themselves on you. There's no denying facts."
No. I his hand hovered over the page as he debated whether he was ready to admit his most shameful act to Viktor.
"What, Yuuri?" Viktor resisted the urge to shake the younger man, needing him to spit it out.
I didn't fight. I didn't yell. I didn't tell them no. The dam behind Yuuri's eyes broke and he collapsed away from Viktor, his feelings of shame and guilt hitting him harder than ever before. They told me I had to be quiet if I wanted to see you again. I did what they said.
"Yuuri, you were being threatened." Viktor defiantly wiped tears from his cheeks, wishing Yuuri had slumped into his arms, not into the pile of pillows next to him. "It wasn't consensual. Just because you didn't say no doesn't mean you said yes."
You said it yourself. Possible consent. I didn't say yes but I also didn't say no. There's no evidence that they threatened me other than my own word. And three against one aren't good odds for me. Especially when my word is pen on paper.
"Yuuri. Look at me." Viktor even surprised himself with the harsh tone. Yuuri jumped, but peered over at his fiancé, hardly able to face him. "I know what you're thinking right now and you're wrong. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but you are not dirty. You did not give consent. You are not a jezebel. And I love you. I love you so much. I'm not judging you, and I will never, ever judge you no matter what you do. Do you understand me?"
Yuuri nodded, sniffling, trying to convince himself that Viktor's words were true. Why would he go through all the trouble of lying to make Yuuri feel better?
"Good, now come here and let me hug you." Viktor opened his arms, mildly surprised when Yuuri actually sat up then melted into them. "You're safe with me, and we can find a way to win. I promise you that I will not let them get away with hurting you. Nobody will ever get away with hurting you. Not when I'm around."
I love you. Yuuri took a few moments to write the note. He wasn't sure if it was the time, but that was all he could think to say.
"I know, and I love you too." Viktor wished he'd been recording their conversations in the past few days down so he could go back and count the number of times those three words had been said. I love you. Such a simple phrase that was uttered by so many people every day. But it only really held any importance when Viktor said it to Yuuri. No one else mattered enough. No one else was good enough. No one else made Viktor's heart flutter. No one else could make Viktor act the way Yuuri could. Well, the way Yuuri used to. Viktor's goofy love-sick side hadn't come out in a week, and he sincerely missed it. Nobody had ever made him melt with one glance. No one could make him fall out of a combination spin just by skating by. No one could make him stare at nothing for five minutes after they'd walked out of sight. Never before had he missed someone while they were in the same room. Viktor realized every day he spent with Yuuri that he was in love. For the first time, ever. And he wasn't about to let those feelings go.
"We'll get through this." Viktor whispered into the top of a head as Yuuri cried silently into his shoulder. "Not just us. Yurio, Phichit, and Otabek are here for us. Both of us." Viktor squeezed Yuuri gently. "I really think you should tell them what happened."
Yuuri looked up at Viktor, brows drawn together in a thoughtful way. The expression was much better than the one Viktor had been expecting, considering he thought he'd see a look of panic or fury when Yuuri peeked up at him.
I'll tell them when I can physically tell them.
"That's fair." Viktor smiled as Yuuri leaned back into his shoulder. Viktor slowly laid back, pulling Yuuri close. They snuggled up, how they did before all of this had happened. Yuuri nuzzled into Viktor's neck, collecting a loose fistful of his t-shirt. Viktor wrapped both arms around Yuuri, one at his shoulders, the other at his waist.
Viktor softly rubbed circles into Yuuri's back, letting him cry. His breathing eventually evened out, but Viktor continued to trace his circles, hoping he could keep Yuuri relaxed enough to fend off the nightmares that were sure to come. He stared lovingly at his beautiful fiancé's sleeping face, savouring the tension free, relaxed expression that finally graced his features after such an extended period of stress. Viktor sighed, planting a gentle kiss in the centre of Yuuri's forehead.
Unintentionally, Viktor's eyes slid shut, and he drifted off to sleep.