"How's your hand?" Phichit tried his best to strike up conversation, but Otabek really wasn't having it. He just wanted to get back to Yurio and make sure he was never alone again. He died because Otabek was too slow. He suffocated under another man's grip for too long because Otabek had fallen. Otabek wanted to be there when he woke up. Not too late. Not helpless. There.

"It's fine." Otabek shrugged, following a step behind Phichit as they made their way thorugh the corridors of the hallways, dodging breakfast carts and hurried nurses. "Painkillers really work wonders."

"Glad to hear it." At least Otabek wasn't in physical pain. "This is his room." Phichit gestured to the upcoming door on the left side of the hall, expecting Otabek to bolt past him and kick the door down. However, just the opposite happened when they reached the viewing window of Yurio's room. Viktor and Yuuri had their back to the door and were snuggled together, looking like they might be asleep. Yurio was still laying limply in bed, a machine breathing for him, looking fragile as expected, so Phichit didn't understand it when Otabek stopped and stared.

"You okay?" Phichit pressed after a few moments.

Otabek just stared on, hoping his messy bangs were hiding the tears. They weren't.

"Hey, talk to me." Phichit practically begged. It was bad enough that he was still in the dark about Yuuri, he didn't need Otabek withholding information too.

"He… in the ambulance on the way here… Yura… He… He died…"

"What…?" The words hit him like a truck, and Phichit's heart dropped all the way to New Zealand. "What do you mean he…?"

"He flat lined." Otabek let his head fall forward and connect with the glass before turning around and sliding to the ground, looking more like a rag doll than a human. Especially a human named Otabek Altin. "I was holding his hand when his heart stopped beating. They brought him back but… I lost him. I lost him while I was holding onto him. There was nothing I could do. I was just so... useless."

"Oh my god…" Phichit dropped to the floor and without thinking pulled Otabek into a tight embrace. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose someone like that. To rescue them only to have them ripped away from you minutes later. He couldn't even articulate any sort of attempt at comfort. "Otabek I…"

Otabek just slumped into Phichit, letting the man who had become a friend hold him. He cried, not caring about his stoic image. He cried for himself, who had witnessed the boy he loved die right in front of him, and electrocuted back to life. He cried for Yurio, who had so bravely jumped in to defend Yuuri, and ended up wounded because of it. He cried for Yuuri, who had been through some trauma unbeknownst to Otabek and Phichit, and was still struggling because of it. He cried for Viktor, who was seeing the man he loved so dearly struggling so much in his own head. He cried for Phichit, who seemed to be the only person around who was capable of not breaking down every ten minutes, who shouldn't have had that weight on his shoulders. He just… cried. And felt so much better after.

"Sorry…" Otabek squirmed his way out of Phichit's protective grip once his tears had run dry, feeling slightly embarrassed about the whole ordeal.

"Don't be." Phichit gave a Otabek a drowsy, lopsided smile that he knew was genuine. "You okay?"

"Better now." Otabek sheepishly smiled back, his lip twitching upwards with no more than a hin smirk, but Phichit saw it, and his eyes lit up more.

"Ready to go in?"

"I think so." Otabek gladly took Phichit's offered hand and hauled himself off the tiled floor, glancing through the window to Yurio's room again, mentally preparing himself for what was to come.

"Hey, none of us will judge you for getting upset." Phichit placed a firm hand on Otabek's shoulder. "We'll be momentarily shocked, but none of us will ever judge you."

Otabek let out a single chuckle, which was actually more of a sharp exhale, but Phichit counted it as a win. "Thank you, Phichit."

"It's what I do." Phichit's smile broadened as Otabek lead the way into Yurio's room.