"Shit!" Nikita spat as the heartrate monitor began beeping hysterically. "Come on, Yuri! Fight it, stay with us!"

"Zolin!" Ilia banged on the window that separated the driver from the passengers. "We're losing him! Step on it!"

"Yura!" Otabek squeezed his hand tighter, tears coming full force as the ambulance lurched again, gaining speed.

"Shit!" Nikita pressed his fingers into Yurio's neck, searching for a pulse as the beeping leveled out to one steady tone. Otabek knew what that meant. "No pulse!"

"YURA!"

Otabek flinched awake, drenched in cold sweat, shaking as he recalled the memory of the previous night all to clearly. He remained with his forehead resting on the rail of the bed for a moment, part of him trying to collect his composure, most of him dreading the view he would be met with. Once his breathing levelled and his trembling had mostly died down, Otabek worked up the courage to lift his head from the rail and take in the image of Yurio.

"Yura…" He whispered, reaching for his love's cold fingers, wrapping them in his, which weren't much warmer. "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't apologize." Otabek nearly jumped out of his skin when Phichit's voice sounded from his left. "Sorry." He chuckled quietly at Otabek's reaction. Phichit found it so strange to see the man before him actually creating facial expressions. Even when he skated, he'd been nothing but stoic.

"How long have you been up?" Otabek felt his cheeks flush red at the thought of Phichit watching him while he'd been dreaming.

"A while." Phichit shrugged. "Yuuri and Viktor didn't exactly leave quietly, I'm surprised you slept through it."

"So, you…?"

"You were having a nightmare, weren't you?"

Otabek just looked away, rage burning in his core when his eyes settled on Yurio's disgustingly purple neck.

"I couldn't decide whether to wake you or not." Phichit admitted, following Otabek's gaze to the comatose Yurio, fear rolling around in his stomach. "Apparently if you sleep through them you don't remember in the morning, but if you wake up in the middle of one, you will. You woke yourself up, huh?"

"I guess." Otabek couldn't see how anyone would know whether you would remember a nightmare after sleeping through it, after all, how could you know you'd had one if you didn't remember? Either way, he always woke up in the middle of his nightmares. Accept this one. This nightmare was real.

"You were dreaming about him, weren't you?"

"How could I not?" Otabek felt the tears pressing against the backs of his eyes, threatening to break him even more.

"You have nothing to feel guilty about." Phichit shook his head; he was sick of everyone blaming themselves for everything that happened to everyone else. Viktor hadn't sent Yuuri home from the rink, so it wasn't his fault that he hadn't been there. Yurio hadn't attacked Yuuri, so it wasn't his fault that he got hurt. Otabek hadn't strangled Yurio, so it wasn't his fault that he died in the ambulance. Phichit seemed to be the only one capable of having those thoughts, yet for some reason still found guilt rolling around in his stomach, too.

"How can you say that?"

"Because they weren't your hands around his throat. You didn't crush his windpipe. You didn't kill him, Otabek. I don't care if you think you could have prevented it, because you couldn't have. Your retaliation was fueled by your anger after seeing Yurio hurt. If you'd gotten there at the same time, he probably would have taken both of you out easily. If he'd gotten you first, even with the adrenaline Yurio wouldn't have stood a chance; that guy was huge, I don't even know how you managed to take him out. So please, stop feeling guilty."

"You feel it too." Otabek broke his gaze and returned it to Phichit's eyes. "I can tell. You're not how you used to be, Phichit. You're beating yourself up over it, too; difference is, the rest of us say it out loud. You keep it in and tell the rest of us to let it go."

"Yeah…" Phichit sighed in defeat, forcing a smirk onto his face. "I'm trying to help, it's what I do, making sure other people are happy… it's always been that way."

"That's not your responsibility. You shouldn't have to carry that yourself."

"I don't mind." The smile became more genuine at Otabek's words. "I like seeing people happy. Helping them helps me. Once everyone else feels better, I'll be better."

"Well if you say so." Otabek just shook his head, beginning to understand how truly different he and Phichit were. "Just, make sure you think about yourself once in a while too, okay?"

"I'll keep that in mind."

"YURA!" both the door slamming open and Yakov's booming voice scared Otabek and Phichit out of their chairs, making them jump about six feet in the air.

"Calm down, Yakov." Viktor attempted, Yuuri lingering a few steps behind, head down. "He'll be okay. They're keeping him in a coma for a couple days so he can heal."

"What happened to his neck?" Yakov turned, left eye twitching, staring Viktor down with pure rage in his eyes.

"He got strangled." Viktor felt his fingers beginning to tremble. He was used to dealing with a screaming Yakov, but to have him seething like this… Viktor wanted to throw Yuuri over his shoulder and run. "But he'll be okay. Otabek got there in time and saved him."

"Explain. Now." Yakov's teeth didn't even part as he growled, voice resembling that of an angry Rottweiler.

"Well…" Viktor glanced behind him to Yuuri, who wasn't even completely in the room yet. He looked like he wanted to flee. "It's not my story to tell…"

Yuuri took in a shaking breath, forcing his eyes upward to meet those of Yakov, Viktor, Phichit, and Otabek, who were all staring at him expectantly.

"Well… I… Uhm..."

"Yuuri…" he felt his chin being gently lifted by Viktor's fingers, watery gaze meeting the shiny pools that somehow resembled irises. "If you're not ready…"

"I am." Yuuri nodded in defiance, with confidence, tapping into his pent-up anger. Looking into his fiancé's beautiful eyes made the world go away. The pure love that those round, clear, pools of blue held, the love that was sent on to him, they made Yuuri feel capable of anything. Even finally telling his whole story. As long as Viktor was there to help him along, he would be okay. "I'm ready."