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Loki found himself walking through a narrow dark corridor. Despite his insecurities, he managed to hold his head up and keep the anxiety out of his expression. He was surrounded by countless agents wearing matching black uniforms. They treated him strictly but they didn't cause him any physical pain. They would grab him roughly and half-drag him out of the car when he lost himself in his thoughts for a while but they didn't do it with a sadistic pleasure.
Fury, however, seemed to be a different thing completely.
Loki didn't see him since he was hauled out of the car which was parked somewhere underground. The lighting was dim and the air stale. The agents kept walking in fast and unchanging pace and more they were heading towards their final destination, more difficulties Loki had with keeping up. His wrists being tied together were limiting him as he felt himself to be a bit off balance. Albeit, it was mostly his mind that was inflicting a lack of concentration on Loki.
Do not think about Asgardian dungeons.
Do not think about Odin.
Do not think about…
Loki couldn't bring himself to articulate that name even inside his mind. Usually, it helped him to calm himself down if he mentally stated that all the things he feared, such as the dungeons or Odin, were not there anymore and so he didn't have to worry about them. It comforted him to make himself understand that he is not in the dungeons anymore and that Odin has no power to place him there again.
Odin's words from his so-called trial would appear a lot in Loki's mind.
You will spend the rest of your days in the dungeons.
The dungeons under the Asgardian palace were not inhuman; they were quite sterile. And yet they were driving Loki crazy.
Every day Loki was forced to spend there, he felt more claustrophobic and suffocating. The box he was locked in was so small and everyday it seemed to be getting even smaller. Loki would pace ceaselessly around his bed for hours; it was the only way how to get the surfeit of energy out of his system.
Yet what was torturing him most was his own imagination.
Loki was afraid of his own imagination.
All the time his subconscious was whispering to him that he is never getting away.
Never.
He will spend the rest of the days in the dungeons, locked away so his adopted family wouldn't have to be ashamed of him.
They can easily pretend that he never existed.
Then, Frigga came.
When she appeared in his cell, Loki couldn't believe his own eyes. He was lying on his back, mindlessly tossing a paperweight up and down. At that instant, he saw her.
Frigga was standing there in all her beauty.
"He said I would never see you again." Loki said overcoming the lump that formed in his throat.
"Not even the Allfather can prevent a mother from seeing her son." Frigga said confidently.
"You…you want to see me?" Loki whispered.
"Of course, I want to see you, Loki." Frigga said. She was still keeping a self-assured posture, but her voice was shaking slightly.
"He won't let you come again. He…he will not allow this." Loki said while sitting up. Without thinking, he bended his knees and brought his long arms around them.
"Odin has no right to forbid me from seeing you." Frigga said looking Loki in the eyes. She was standing a few steps away from him, but she didn't miss how Loki's eyes gave a quick blink of disbelief.
"I promise not to leave you alone, my son. I won't abandon you." Frigga said with a desperation audible in her voice.
Loki couldn't take it anymore. He felt his eyes filling with tears which blurred his vision.
No. His mother was there and his own weakness was preventing him from seeing her clearly.
Quickly, Loki dried his eyes with his sleeve. He saw Frigga looking at him tenderly.
"Mother." Loki breathed out while pushing himself off the bed and without further thinking he approached his mother.
Loki was never too comfortable nor used to physical contact but right now he was ready to convey all his affection and gratefulness to Frigga by embracing her tightly.
Yet when Loki lifted his arms to bring them around his mother's back, they went right through her.
Loki didn't understand and so he glanced with dismay at Frigga. She was returning his gaze with sad eyes.
"Loki, you were right. Odin doesn't allow me to physically come here to see you. Yet. But I promise that until I make him agree to this, I will come here everyday using my magic." Frigga said carefully, her eyes never leaving Loki's.
Loki didn't remember ever wanting anything more than to embrace his mother at that moment. When he found himself unable to do it, he broke down.
"I want to hug you. Please don't go away. Mummy, please don't go away." Loki's legs gave up and he crouched on the floor. Tears were streaming down his face.
Frigga went on her knees besides Loki.
"I promise we will be able to embrace each other sooner than you imagine, my son."
Frigga was never able to keep her promise.
Loki never got to embrace his mother again.
All he got was an anonymous guard telling him that the queen was dead.
Loki never got to see her funeral. He kept telling himself that it must have been beautiful; Frigga was loved by everyone and she surely died protecting Asgard. Loki was certain that she was given a dignified and proper goodbye.
Such thoughts and memories were daily occupying Loki's mind. Since the moment Thor got him out of the dungeons to avenge their mother, Loki was inventing techniques to control his mind from wandering to dangerous territories.
He was partly successful. He could block Odin out of his mind and he was getting better at remembering Frigga as the loving mother from his childhood instead of the comforting one who was out of his reach and touch.
Yet there was one thing Loki had no control over.
Do not think about…
These memories were so painful and traumatic to Loki that he couldn't even voice the names inside his mind. He came with all sorts of nicknames but it was never enough.
Do not think about what happened after you let go.
Do not think about him.
Do not think about what he did to you.
You are not there anymore.
He cannot touch you.
He will never be able to torture and control you again.
Loki forced his mind to focus on the bleak present instead of the traumatic past. He drew all his attention to putting one foot in front of the other, making sure he wouldn't stumble in the unwelcoming corridor.
Suddenly, the procession stopped in front of a heavy metal door. Fury himself opened the lock and Loki was being dragged inside a small, faintly litted room. Once inside, the agents finally let go of his elbows and left the room, closing the door behind them.
Loki was left in the room with Fury only.
Loki shivered involuntarily. He knew that Fury didn't trust him and he was aware that Fury was willing to go as far as he considered necessary to get the information he wanted.
When Fury made a step towards Loki, the raven-haired god found himself moving backwards until his back hit the cold stone wall.
Fury smirked with satisfaction.
"Are you afraid of me, real power? I remember you coming to step on us. What did you compare us to? Ah…a boot. And you were the ant. Would you say the roles reversed?" Fury hissed while walking straight to Loki. He stopped a mere foot in front of Loki who lifted his tied wrists in a desperate attempt to protect himself.
"Do you think that I will step on you this time?" Loki was unable to keep the fear out of his eyes when hearing Fury's words.
"Do you think it will hurt?"
"Please, I…" Loki began to say only to be interrupted by Fury's cheerless laughter.
"Did you really just plead?" Fury looked at Loki with venom in his eyes. Loki didn't say anything; despite being scared to dead, he was still a prince of Asgard, a former king and he had his dignity. He would not give it all up in front of Fury. No matter how much the situation reminded him of…him.
Loki's train of thoughts was interrupted by an explosion of pain in his right cheek. Loki's sight went black for a second as Fury's fist hit him without warning. Before Loki managed to put himself together, Fury kicked him in his stomach. The force of the blow sent Loki back against the wall; his skull crashed, and Loki found himself slipping on his knees. He was breathing heavily, clutching to his stomach while his head was resonating with pain. He heard Fury jeer at him and with all the self-control he was able to summon, Loki slowly lifted his face to look at Fury.
"Isn't this simpler?" Fury said vindictively. "Pleading is always more effective on your knees." He sneered hideously at Loki who shivered but kept an eye contact with Fury.
"Unfortunately, it won't be effective for you. You will tell me everything I want to know. We start tomorrow." And with that Fury turned his back on Loki and quickly left the cell.
When the heavy door closed behind Fury, Loki finally released the breath he didn't realise he was holding. He laid his tied up wrists on the floor and for a second allowed his head to rest on them. He felt a sharp pain in his stomach with every breath he took.
Then, slowly, he pushed himself up into a sitting position and carefully rested his back against the hard wall. He felt the blood coming out of the wound in his cheek to stream down his jaw.
Loki brought the knees to his chest, extended his arms around them and rested his head against the cold wall.
He hoped that Thor would come before Fury did.