This is a short chapter and I almost put it in as part of the previous one, but I like it on its own. Thanks as usual to kbeth82 for the reviews, you rock. :)

Interlude: I'm sorry

From Last time

"I don't think we caused the war just to be together. Kivar had already planned to take over," Isabel says. Then she explains what Vilandra had discovered about Kivar and how she thought running was the best option and that Rath caught her and wouldn't let her go alone. "How about you?" she asks, looking at Michael.

"I think you're right. I saw Rath telling Vilandra that he couldn't be with her and she should bond to Kivar. But then… they were together," he says. "And then she told me she had a dream. I think she saw Earth."

"What?"

"She said she saw herself and Zan as younglings in the blue planet. That she was crying because she let go and she missed me. But I don't think that came true."

Isabel and Max look shocked. "It did," Max says. Michael looks at him confused. "When mom and dad adopted us… Izzy would cry every night. I would hold her and tell her everything was okay. But she missed you."

After Max and Tess leave, Isabel and Michael sit on the couch next to each other. He looks at her and she seems unsure, almost ashamed.

"It's just me."

"I know."

"You never told me. Why?"

"Why tell you? When we found each other again we were complete and everything was fine."

He looks at her with exasperation. She knows that he doesn't buy it, that he can tell she's lying and it's making him mad. She can read him like he can read her and he sees beyond her facade and the lies about everything being okay. He stares at her with those angry sad eyes that are relentless. But for once he's not raging or saying anything impulsively. He's waiting for her to let it out, quietly simmering. And it's too much to bear. She stands up, ready to flee but he grabs her hand and makes her sit again.

"Don't bullshit me. You know you can't, not anymore."

"Michael."

"Tell me the truth."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does!"

"Why?"

"Because! "

"Because what!"

"Because I thought no one wanted me!" She looks surprised at his admission and her eyes seem to ask him a million questions but also look desperate, remorseful and just sad. She won't open up unless he does and for once he just wants everything out there. "When I was in the system and with Hank… I hoped… but I was almost sure that no one thought about me, that no one missed me. But you did. You did and you never told me."

"Mikey…"

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Because… it was my fault."

"What are you talking about?"

"I let go, Michael. That night in the dessert… we were together and I let you slip away. You wouldn't have been in the system or lived in that trailer or gotten hurt if I had just held on," she says miserably. "God... we left Tess, we did something horrible and left her behind to be taken by Nasedo and then I also let you go, Mikey. I let go and for two years you were lost and then Hank and… I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"Izzy," he says, seeing a few tears slide down her cheeks. He cleans the stray tears with his fingers and looks at her guilt-ridden eyes. "We were children. We had just been born and it was me. I ran."

"No you didn't. You hatched first and you waited. You waited for me and I made you wait for Max, but then I let you go."

"Maybe, but it's okay. Everything is okay." She looks at him and he knows she doesn't believe him. "I think… it was for the best that we were apart and you and Max were raised as siblings by the Evanses because now we're here, together, and we get to have Adam. Maybe this is the way things were meant to be."

She can see the truth in his eyes, but still. She brings her hand to his face and caresses his cheeks, then runs her hand through his hair. It's grown longer and she loves the feel of it under her fingers.

He stares at her and can't truly tell what she's thinking. He has an idea because she looks like she's filled with wonder, but it can't be. Why would she be in awe? He's all that's there. Just him, the trailer trash that doesn't deserve her but that she wants for some reason. He doesn't deserve her, but he can tell that she thinks she failed him somehow.

She looks at him and feels the intense thumping of her heart. He's hers, he's always been hers and she wants to keep him forever. She wants it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. She loves him. She really really loves him. "You're beautiful," she murmurs.

He looks at her shocked, "Men aren't beautiful."

"You are," she says and then kisses him. This kiss is not wild like some of the ones they've shared. This is sweet and slow. Their lips barely touch at first and even once they give into it more, there are no tongues involved. In that moment they are just close and they get to see each other, really see each other.

In the trailer Michael is playing with an old tattered airplane, the one thing he kept from the orphanage. He sends it flying, pretending he's in it and it will take him home. The plane hits a bottle that's on the counter. It falls to the ground and breaks and alcohol permeates the thin rug. Hank looks enraged and pulls his belt out.

"Useless boy!"

"I didn't mean -"

He doesn't get to say more before the strike comes. His eyes are filled with tears but he doesn't let them fall. He takes the hits until Hank gets tired and then Michael runs out.

He runs into the desert until his small body falls to its knees exhausted. He lets go and lays on his side on the hot ground. Time passes and it gets dark. He hears a few sounds, probably bugs and snakes or rodents of some sort. There's crickets. He stands and walks towards the cricket sound until he sees a small stream. It's strange to see water here but it somehow gets him out of the state he's been in. He gets close and takes some of water to clean his arms and face. He drinks some, not caring about getting sick. He never gets sick.

Then he sits and looks up at the stars. He takes a breath and dares to hope. He hopes that somewhere out there there's someone who cares and is thinking about him and missing him. He's seen flashes of them, a boy and a girl. He misses them, but doesn't really remember. He tries to see their faces but they won't come. So he focuses on the stars, somehow he knows that he could be happy if he went to the stars. He doesn't realize that his hand is moving and making patterns with the dirt. Then he looks at his dirty hand and sees that he drew something. It's a flower and a V shape. He gets mad. He's stuck in this awful place and doesn't understand! And nothing happens, nothing changes! The best he can do is draw a stupid flower! Maybe Hank is right. He is useless.

She's in her room crying in Max's arms.

"We're safe. Everything's alright."

"No it's not. He's not with us and… maybe he is not safe."

"I'm sure he is."

"What if something happened to him?" she says, cleaning the tears from her face.

"He was probably adopted like we were."

She shakes her head no. "We have each other, but he's out there alone and I... I just have this feeling that... he needs me, that we aren't supposed to be apart. And I… I miss him. I really really miss him."

Isabel watches Michael walk into the eraser room with Maria. For a fraction of a second she looks appalled and enraged and sad. Then her expression goes back to normal. She's the queen of the frivolous and uncaring. She's ice and has no feelings that anyone can trample on. Everyone can admire her from afar. She will not be upset. Her brothers can fall for any humans they like.

He's in the rain. Maria lets him into her room. He cries in her arms and asks why Hank didn't want him. He wants to know why no one ever wanted him.

Isabel screams at Maria. "You let me take care of Michael! God, he needs me right now, not a stranger." Then she watches over a sick Michael.

In the trailer.

"Just get out, alright?"

"Well, hello, dolly."

"Shut up, Hank."

"Wanna have a drink with me?"

"She doesn't want a drink."

"Who the hell are you, her lawyer?"

"Leave her alone, Hank, all right?"

"I asked her a question. I'm waiting for her answer."

"Here's your answer," Isabel says and then throws Hank's drink all over him. "If you ever touch Michael again, I will kill you!"

Isabel is in her room rummaging through Nasedo's stones. She's a bit startled when she hears Max walk in. "I thought I locked that door."

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, you did. What're you doing?"

Isabel moves the stones in her hand and speaks with fear and sadness edged on her face. "You see this? This is all I know about who we are. These stones that River Dog gave us at the cave when Michael was sick. They're the only thing we have from the place we came from. It was the first time I realized we had a home somewhere...a real place. They don't mean anything...not without Michael."

Michael is inside a truck, opening a bag. The healing stones fall into his lap. He moves them around in his hand for a little while and looks deep in thought. The driver speaks to him, "Ain't no aliens in that town. Let me ask you something. If you were an alien, you can go anywhere in the world, would you pick Roswell?" Michael hears him but seems a million miles away. "Trust me, there ain't nothing in that town."

"Let me off at the next rest stop."

"What's that kid?"

"I can't leave. Let me off at the next stop." The driver laughs at him. "What?"

"What's her name?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I let you get in 'cause you looked like you were running from the devil. But I've seen that look you just had. She must be special if you ain't running no more."

"I'm not… it's not… we're a family."

At a courthouse Michael says, "I'll try, your honor." The judge states, "I hereby grant your petition for emancipation." Isabel looks at Michael with pride and tenderness. He gives her a smirk.

She stops kissing him and breaks the connection. She keeps her eyes closed, feeling him and trying to show him what she feels as well. She needs to show him everything she is and has to tell him. "At first, I didn't know Hank was hurting you. I knew you weren't happy and you needed help but I didn't really realize. Then when I figured it out, I felt guilty for what I did. I let go and lost you and put you in that position. Then I let you believe that that was just the way things were and allowed you to leave it alone. I even told you that you got a raw deal and it was up to you to ask for help. I let you live like that for so long and didn't take care of you because I worried that if I tried to help you would get mad or you would be taken from Roswell and forced away from us again. I was a coward and convinced myself that it was up to you to choose if you wanted to change things and ask for help. But all that time… I should have done something, I should have told my dad the first time you had Max heal a bruise. Even if everything that happened led us here, I should have stopped Hank from hurting you. I should have taken care of you and done something sooner. I'm sorry. I always cared, Michael. I cared, but I was stupid, so stupid."

"Not stupid, just scared. I was scared, too. I didn't want help and I didn't want to be taken away. Not after I found you and Max."

"But I-"

"No, Iz. It was not your fault. When I was little, I used to think about telling someone that Hank was shit and going back to the orphanage or just running away. Just running away to find someone who cared, to get away from trailers and the asshole that just kept me around for the monthly check. I used to think everything in this planet was ugly and crappy and that I would only find something better somewhere in the sky. But then I found you. That day in the cafeteria when we were little and you gave me your lunch… no one had ever done something like that for me. No one had ever shown me that they cared, no one had shown me that on this planet there was someone like me. I knew right away that you were different like I was different, but everyone wanted you around. And I wanted you around because you were the first thing I saw in this world that was beautiful, inside and out, just beautiful."

"Michael, I'm not -"

"You are. And I know you think you didn't do enough, but… you brought me lunch every day for years, until Lloyd Jackson bragged that he had kissed you and that nothing was going on with the trailer trash. That I was just the Evanses' poor kid project and that was the only reason you bothered. That day I threw your food away and said I didn't need your charity in front of the entire school and you ran away in tears." She looks at him startled. He never told her about Lloyd. He just let her believe he didn't need her anymore and after a couple of weeks of the silent treatment, Max got her to give in and talk to Michael, but she never treated him the same. "I remember Iz. I remember the lunches and how you used to save your allowance to buy me clothes and Christmas presents and you used to give me Valentine's day cards and you remembered the date that the humans marked as my birthday. But when boys like Lloyd started to look at you and ask you out and give you real flowers not the crap I found in someone's yard… I acted like an asshole and got you to stop doing all that for me and then you pulled away and I was just like everyone else."

"I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have bothered with those boys and left you behind. I should have seen what was happening instead of giving you the cold bitchy attitude that I gave everyone else. You're not like everyone else, you never have been, and I should have kept taking care of you. We could have been together and had all this if I had just stuck it out and got you to explain and found a way to get you away from Hank sooner. I should have -"

"Izzy stop. You always put up with me and my ideas and searches and even helped me contact Nasedo when you didn't really want to. I know you were scared and didn't want to but you were still there. Don't you see? I was only able to hang on because of you. You and Max… I stayed in Roswell for you. For a while, I cared for Maria, intensely. I almost let her see me for real. But I know it wouldn't have been like this. It wouldn't have been this open and tangible and real, at least not this fast, because she isn't you. You have to understand, you are my equal and you see me, even when I don't want you to, you still see me and I see you. With you I can see the past but I also see the future. You're my future."

She stares and starts giving him that look again. The look that makes him feel like he's wonderful even if deep down he believes he isn't. How can she look at him like that? His little heat lamp is all light up even if she's not gold right now. She closes the distance between them and kisses him again. And now it's intense and all consuming.

They see stars. A scary darkness and broken asteroids and then more stars. There is fear and yet something is incredibly right about these stars.

Then she's listening to Whitaker tell her about how she betrayed her family. She can also hear Tess screaming and is desperate to help her. She's afraid and appalled and disgusted with herself but knows she needs to be strong. Then she's standing tall, protecting Tess and facing Whitaker. She kills her and a part of her dies as the alien in front of her turns to dust. She's a killer, a rotten terrible murderer.

Pierce is shooting at Max, Michael and Valenti. Valenti is firing repeatedly in the direction that Pierce had fled. He is reloading when Pierce comes back. Michael screams, "NO!" Then he uses his powers to knock him backwards into the wall. Valenti checks him and tells them he's dead. Michael feels like a monster. He's the monster that the humans think about when they think of aliens.

Then they're sitting in Adam's chamber. The wrapping paper from the presents they opened is laying all around them. The alkalean gazes are growing around the pod making everything shine gold. It's like inside this cave Adam has his very own sun, made by his mother while holding onto his father, made to give Michael all the hope and love that he needs. Their hands are intertwined on the membrane that holds their son. Maybe they didn't make him in this life but they have given him so many pieces of themselves to get him out of here, to get him to live with them on Earth, that he really is theirs. And in this moment they feel peace and true happiness. She doesn't need to hide behind a mask of coldness. He doesn't need to act out and search for something to change his miserable existence. In this place they are calm and content. It doesn't matter if they are different and have done awful things and don't belong. They kiss softly and then smile at each other as their hands glow. They feel the baby move and their smiles get bigger and brighter. They've found everything that they didn't know they were looking for. In this place, the three of them together, they're home.

They are laying flat on the couch with him on top of her. Her shirt is gone and one one her legs wraps around his. In between kisses she murmurs, "We're going to be a family... and I'm going to take care of you. I'll never let go. Never again... I'll be here for you forever because... I love you, Michael… I'm so in love with you."

"Izzy… " he whispers, with his eyes closed as he kisses her again. "None of it was your fault... I'm sorry I got you to pull away. I love you, too. I love you so much."

They kiss for hours and it's a miracle that they manage to not make love.

Okay so this is just good cliffie fluff, but I wanted these two to have this conversation. I think they needed to clear some things from their past to be able to move on into a real relationship and have a future together. Hope you liked. ;-)