Gibbs watched Ziva staring out the window of his car watching the scenery pass by. Her gaze was far less focused than he would have liked. The reflection of her eyes in the window showed him she was in another place.

"I thought if you were wiling I might take you home." Gibbs watched her flinch, it was just the slightest movement but it was there.

"I appreciate the offer Gibbs but I am not your responsibility, you do not have to take care of me." She bit hard on her lip trying to hold back the words that would ask him to do so anyways. The doctor's office had left her feeling far more vulnerable than she would have liked, any footing she had regained was gone again. Her strength, both of body and mind seemed to ebb and flow more than she would have thought possible. Passing through the waiting room as they'd left she'd seen three women in varying stages of pregnancy, as relieved as she was she wouldn't have that reminder from her time in the desert it still hurt to see their joy.

Gibbs did his best not to let his frustration at her words show. "What if I want to, gonna tell me no?"

Ziva turned in her seat and stared at the dashboard unable to stop the smile he forced from her. "I suppose not." She bit her lip glanced at him and took a deep breath. "I do not think I am ready to see everyone yet. More than I have. I know what Tony and McGee did for me, I owe them more than I can ever repay…but…"

"It's too much, right? Too many people needing something from you?" he watched a tear slip from her eye and trail down her cheek as she nodded. "I intended to take you to Stillwater Ziva. I arranged for time off for the team. We all need it. I thought you might like it there…if you want."

Ziva felt surprise wash through her. Gibbs' offer was not something she would have expected from him. It was on the tip of her tongue to refuse, but the memories of the peacefulness of his family home called to her. "Are you sure, that is more than I should ask of you."

Gibbs smiled, "You didn't ask Ziva, I offered and if you said no I woulda convinced you anyways. Trunks already packed."

Ziva almost grinned but then she thought about her appalling lack of clothes. She had very little, only what the team had brought for her on the mission, and the few pieces Gibbs had provided for her. She had keepsakes, and formal clothing locked away in a storage facility she'd rented before she left for Israel but nothing else. "Good thing I travel light these days."

Gibbs cursed loudly, watched her jump and cursed again only silently. Outside of the few things he'd gotten for her he hadn't thought about the fact she'd returned to America with nothing. "There are stores on the way Ziva, even some in Stillwater. Anything you need we can find." He watched her stare back out the window and nod.

Ziva nodded because it was what he expected but deep inside she wondered if she would find what she most wanted? The woman she had once been. "What about your Father? How will he feel about you bringing me there?"

"He was worried about you too." He watched surprise cross her face as she stared down at her hands. "I talked to him when you were gone. And, I called him before we left to get you just in case something happened while I was over there." She tensed, shoulders straightening and again she stared out the window.

"I hate that you had to risk so much to find me." She couldn't look at him could barely live with the realization that he'd been prepared to die to find her, that they all had. "What did you tell him, when you called him."

"Today or before?" She shrugged and he focused on the road pretending for her sake not to see her struggle with tears. "The truth when we went to find you and this morning most of the truth but not all the details." He would have expected her to be angry, for sharing even that much but instead she gave him the briefest smile.

"Good, he deserves the truth." She tugged on the end of her braid focusing on the small pink band Gibbs had provided her with She'd been amused when she'd found the package of hair ties tucked into the backpack. "Are you certain he will not mind?"

Gibbs chuckled lightly. "It was mostly his suggestion Ziva. He said the country air would be good for you. And of course it's quiet there, usually." He saw her smile again remembering the chaos from the first time they had visited. He took the exit that would take them to the very place they were discussing saw her notice but she didn't object.

"Remind me to thank him later then." She yawned, resting her head against the back of the seat. "I'm tired Gibbs, so very tired."

It wasn't just the physical fatigue, it was the tired of holding yourself on edge for so long. A tired that came from always having your back up, your warning system in place, without a break. "You should sleep Ziva; we've got a while until we get there." She glanced at him then nodded and closed her eyes. He knew it wasn't easy that her every instinct would be screaming to stay awake, but she kept them closed and soon he could hear the soft even sound of her slipping into sleep.

Gibbs pulled into his father's driveway. For a moment he just let the car idle. His conversation with his dad that morning had been brief. He'd give only the barest details, Ziva was alive and back in DC. He'd heard the questions in his father's offer to come to Stillwater but he'd refrained until he could answer those questions in private. He wouldn't lie to his father but he wouldn't discuss her and all she'd been through over the phone either. In another time he wouldn't have discussed her at all with his Dad but things had changed between them and he was more than grateful they had. Glancing down Ziva was still sleeping, head against his shoulder. He debated the best way to wake her up. Carefully he turned off the ignition trying not to startle her awake. It was a failed attempt when she went suddenly stiff next to him, hand moving to her waist for the knife he'd given her.

"Easy, just me Ziva."

Ziva stopped just shy of unsheathing her knife. Swallowing hard she pushed down her fear and sat up. "Sorry."

Gibbs shook his head "No apologies Ziva, we're here." He watched her focus on the house saw something close to relief flicker through her eyes. "My dad won't be home for a while yet, gives us time to get settled."

Ziva stepped out of his car and chuckled. "You sounded very much like a teenager just now Gibbs."

Gibbs chuffed out a laugh as he grabbed his bag from the trunk and slung her backpack over his shoulder. "Haven't been one of those in a long time Ziva."

Ziva walked in with him taking in what little was familiar from the last time she had been here. Gibbs walked down the hallway toward the bedrooms. He passed his father's room dumping his bag onto the bed in his old room, still holding her backpack he walked toward the guest room and she felt her heart clench in fear.

Gibbs heard Ziva make a small sound, pausing in the act of opening the guest bedroom door he looked over at her. Her face had gone pale, and though she was trying to hide it he saw the fear there as well. She wouldn't ask but he knew what that fear was about. Turning he tossed the backpack onto his bed.

Ziva shook her head. "You do not have to Gibbs…I will be fine on my own."

"Ziva if you want me to stay with you at night I will, if you want to leave the lights on we will. I just didn't want to assume or have you think I was expecting anything." Gibbs took one of her hands in his trying not to notice the still healing wounds around her wrists. "Tell me what you want Ziva, tell me what you need, it's why I brought you here."

Ziva nodded, "I am going in the backyard, I think I would like to sit on the swing back there and get some air. Alone." Ziva whispered the last word not wanting to sound ungrateful but desperately needing space, now while it was still light and everything surrounding her was easily seen. "But first I have a question, how did you get these?" she rubbed her thumb over the marks on his knuckles. She suspected she knew just what they were from.

It was his turn to shrug. "Worked out forgot to wear gloves." It was entirely the truth but it wasn't entirely a lie.

Ziva bit her lip; she knew what he wasn't saying. "I did not mean for you to be hurt by all this."

"Small price to pay to have you back." His voice was nowhere near as steady as he wanted it to be, knew she heard all he couldn't say when her eyes clouded with tears. But she only nodded, squeezed his hands and made her way toward the sliding glass door.

Gibbs nodded "Just holler if you need anything."

Ziva stepped into the backyard trying to understand what foolishness had let her allow Gibbs to bring her here. She should have refused, should have been able to face this alone. Moving to the back of the property she found the framed swinging bench she'd spotted the last time she'd been here. She sank onto the cushions equally grateful and frustrated by the comfort. Her fatigue annoyed her, her weakness annoyed her, but the soft swaying of the seat soothed her frayed nerves.

Jackson walked into the house to see Gibbs staring out the sliding glass door that led to the backyard. There was naked pain on his son's face, it startled him. The raw intensity of it was stark making him move just a bit slower as he entered the room. In the moment Jethro realized he was in the room the pain was gone replaced with a genuine smile that warmed him.

"Hey dad thanks for letting us come." Gibbs took the paper bag his father was carrying and set it on the counter. Glancing in the yard he saw Ziva had already dozed off in the swing.

"Good to see you too son, where's Ziva?" Jackson started taking the groceries he'd brought home out of the bag.

"Backyard" Gibbs glanced outside once more to make sure she was still sleeping and then took a seat at the kitchen table. "Sit for a minute Dad."

Jackson took the seat across from his son recognizing the tense set of his shoulders. The pain that settled on his face was the same from only moments ago. The hand he ran through his hair wasn't quite steady all of it spoke volumes to Jackson.

"I told you Ziva left, most of what happened." It had been a rare moment of hurt that had allowed Gibbs to share so much with his father, but in this case he was glad he had. "We all sort of assumed she intended to stay in Israel. But then no one heard from her, not Abby, not McGee, not Tony…no one."

"Not you." Jackson recognized the look Gibbs gave him and ignored it.

"Especially me. For a while it made sense but then time passed and when she didn't even contact Abby we got worried." Gibbs rubbed his nail against the rough cuticle of his thumb. He'd gotten more than worried; the fear of what had happened to her had driven him nearly mad. The fact he'd had to hide it behind the same calm veneer every day had made it all more unbearable. "Her father sent her on a mission, one he knew she wouldn't come back from."

Jackson heard the carefully hidden rage in his son's words and sucked in a quiet breath.

"She was captured, just as her father knew she would be." Gibbs wished he could kill Eli David as easily as he had Ziva's captors.

Jackson stood up slowly and went to the coffee pot, giving his son time to breathe he filled two cups and brought them to the table. "How long did they have her?"

Gibbs swallowed hard, wrapping his hands around the mug. "Most of the time she was gone." Watching his father's face he saw the understanding dawn, the sadness. When his dad reached out and touched the top of his hand he didn't pull away. It was just the briefest moment of comfort his father needed as much as he did if he was being honest.

Jackson saw Jethro take a long sip of coffee and glance back out the sliding glass door. "How is she?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Not the same woman you met before. She's different, still trying to get used to being in the real world."

"Understandable. Where did they have her or can you tell me." Jackson watched Gibbs' knuckles go white around the mug he was holding.

"The desert, hell, in the ground…" Gibbs hadn't meant to say the last part it startled him as much as his father. He bit back a curse wondering when he'd become the kind to talk so much. "She doesn't like the dark dad. And she's still, if not more dangerous. You need to be careful about coming up behind her, startling her, those types of things. She goes from wanting to be alone to needing me to be close but she's unpredictable. "

Jackson nodded when Jethro looked at him for understanding. "Got it." He watched as his son looked at him then away flushing lightly. "Something else you have to say son?"

Gibbs managed half a grin at how well his father could still read him. "She can't sleep alone, at least not yet. She'll be staying in my room but it's not.." For the second time that day he felt much like a teenager.

"There are certain things I have no doubt about son, the top of that list is your integrity. I'm not worried about it and she shouldn't be either." He watched his son swallow quickly, looking slightly green around the edges. "What?"

Gibbs couldn't speak for a long moment trying to force him to say out loud what he didn't want to think about. "She's still pretty beat up, there are marks. It will take a while for her to heal." Gibbs looked away back outside "Just wanting you to know what to expect."

Jackson cleared his throat and made a sound of agreement. What the hell did you say to that? Instead he watched his son watching her and asked what he shouldn't "The men that had her, they gone?"

Gibbs felt pain clamp tight around his heart then ease at the thought of pulling the trigger in that damn hot desert. "Gone, all of them."

Jackson heard the pain that had returned to his son's voice wondered if he knew he was in love with the woman he was watching so closely. "Good."

Gibbs was listening to his dad talk about his latest fishing trip when he saw Ziva sit bolt upright in the swing outside. He'd been watching her through the kitchen window while they washed vegetables for dinner. She sat looking around her carefully for a minute before he could see it register where she was. She pushed at her hair that had come mostly undone, before giving up and letting it the rest of the way loose. She stood up and looked toward the house, she saw him through the window and he managed a smile.

Jackson watched Ziva just as his son did, she moved slowly and the why of it had his heart clenching. A man his age knew more of the world than he liked to think about, seeing a woman hurt never got any easier. "I'll make her a cup of coffee.."

Gibbs almost told him to make it juice, knowing it was better for her but bit it back. A cup to help her shake off the sleep wouldn't hurt anything. The last thing she needed was him telling her what she could and couldn't do any more than he already had. So he just nodded. She stepped through the sliding glass door, and he was hit once again by how beautiful she was bruises and cuts aside she was still breathtaking.

Ziva had glanced at her watch, knew from the change in the color of the sky even that Gibbs' dad must be home by now and she felt nervous about seeing him again. Gibbs had to have spoken to him at least a little about what had happened to her. He deserved the truth just as she'd said earlier but she felt a little like a goldfish as she stepped into the kitchen. He greeted her with a cup of coffee, placing the warm mug in her hands and offering her a genuine smile.

"It's good to see you Ziva." Jackson used every bit of skill he had to hide his shock at the change in her appearance since he'd seen her last. Gone was the healthy vibrant woman she had been. She was thin, in a way that made him want to offer for her to sit down. Pain and fear were etched heavy into her eyes and as Jethro had said there were scars and marks too many to count.

"And you Jackson." She leaned against the counter near Gibbs. She knew it was easy to see all she had endured and yet Jackson showed nothing but happiness at seeing her again. She was grateful for that. "Thank you for inviting me to stay here, I….I think it will help." She couldn't keep his gaze instead she looked down into the dark brew of her coffee.

Jackson risked a glance at his son; saw that he too was trying to hide the hurt he felt. "I'm glad you decided to visit Ziva. Stillwater is a nice quiet place, despite what you saw the first time you came." She glanced at Gibbs and smiled. "There is stuff to do if you get bored, fishing, movies even a roller skating rink." He almost smacked himself when he considered the fact she wouldn't want to be roller skating any time soon. "Sorry."

Ziva shook her head and finally found the courage to meet his gaze. "Do not…you do not have to walk on eggshells around me. I know Gibbs had to have filled you in at least some about what happened and I am fine with that. If you have questions ask them, but do not feel you have to be…I do not know the word I am looking for but…"

Jackson nodded "I get it. By the same token if I say something out of line you tell me." She smiled again and this time it seemed to be real.

"I doubt that will happen." She set her coffee down barely touched finding it too harsh for her stomach. "What are you men making?"

Gibbs pointed at the corn in the sink. "Corn on the cob, baked potatoes and fried chicken."

Ziva felt her mouth water. "That sounds good." In fact it sounded better than good, the things she'd eaten had barely passed for food. "May I help with something?" She watched Gibbs look in the sink and knew he was trying to fight the urge to tell her to rest. "I have rested plenty for now, I would like something to do."

Jackson saved his son from answering, handing Ziva a bowl of freshly washed potatoes and a roll of tin foil. "You can wrap these and then we will put them in the oven."

Ziva took a seat at the table and began preparing the potatoes. The silence in the kitchen should have been awkward but it wasn't instead there was a comfort in the mundane task of preparing a meal. When she was finished Jackson came up beside her moving slow enough she knew it wasn't his age but a warning given by Gibbs. Instead of calling either of them out she simply smiled. It was a forced smile though and Gibbs saw it. He was asking her what was wrong without saying a word. She didn't want to tell him she was hurting, that she wanted her pain meds or that she wanted a glass of milk. She had been forced to ask for every little thing she wanted or needed and even some that she hadn't. Logically she knew it wasn't the same here but still the words stuck in her throat. Gripping the edge of the table she felt adrenaline hit her and wondered how she could go from being reasonably fine one second to far from it the next. "Excuse me." She stepped abruptly from the table ignoring just how much it hurt to move. She blindly made her way to where Gibbs had dropped their bags and sat on the edge of the bed trying to breathe through the pain. The doctor had warned her this could happen, that the pain of what had happened could come and go. That knowledge didn't help at all. Grabbing her backpack she dug until she felt the bottle of pain meds in her hand.

Gibbs found her staring at the prescription bottle as though it were poison. He'd known she was hurting from the way she'd moved from the table. He also suspected he knew why she was reluctant to take the pills. "They drugged you?"

Ziva couldn't speak only nodded and tossed the bottle back in the bag. "I think it amused them. There was no other reason all things considered." She waited for him to swear again. Instead he sat on the bed next to her taking her hand in his.

"I'm sure my dad has some ibuprofen would that help?" her hand in his tightened.

"Yes. Please." She felt bile rise in her throat. She hated the sound of those words normal pleasantries that had been bastardized. She couldn't look at him couldn't let him see what those simple words made her remember.

"Ziva?" he watched a tear slip down her cheek didn't understand at first. Slowly his mind put it together. The tone of her voice when she answered him finally made it click. This time he failed to hide his anger knew she felt it run through him where there hands were joined. To her credit she didn't flinch but the whisper of a sob was hard enough. "You don't have to ask for anything Ziva, not one damn thing while you're here."

Ziva felt the tears raining down her cheeks wondered how a woman who had rarely cried her entire adult life now was like a child with tears at every turn. "Will this ever get better?"

Gibbs hated the desperation in her voice, knew she hated it more, pulling her into his arms he let his head rest in the softness of her hair. "It will I promise." In the moment it was a promise made on the shaky foundation of hope something that had failed him many times before. She knew that as well as he did, but the words comforted her and he was damn sure going to do everything he could to make the promise a true one.