Ziva stared in the mirror. After breakfast she'd showered and dressed in a long sleeved shirt and close fitting jeans. The boots Gibbs had bought her were a favorite and the make-up she'd spent extra time on meant that all but the bruises on her neck were covered. Even those marks were mostly faded just a hint of the violence that still lingered in her mind. It wouldn't be long and the rest of the team would be arriving.

On one hand she was anxious to see them, yet at the same time she dreaded the questions that would come along with them. The depth of those questions had her almost shaking. Instead she drew in a deep breath and focused on the drain in the sink. Pain rippled low in her stomach and she winced at the ferocity of it. She gave a dirty look to the bottle of pain reliever as she emptied four of the over the counter pills into her hand and washed them down with water from the sink. When she raised her head she caught Gibbs' reflection watching her.

"Ziva?" the pain on her face was written clearly and too hard to ignore. He waited when he saw her eyes skitter away and the flush of pink on her skin. "You don't have to say anything Ziva I'm just worried."

Ziva smiled softly turning to face him, grateful when he moved his hands slowly to link with hers. "I started my period this morning. It is more painful than I am used to. Otherwise I am ok." She was grateful that she'd thought ahead and purchased what she'd needed.

Gibbs hid the anger any mention of her pain brought and instead pulled her close. "I'm sorry." The reminder of why she still suffered so much was too fresh for him to be either embarrassed or immune to what she was saying. "I know my father has a few heating pads would that help?"

Ziva didn't pull away from his chest even when his arms loosened. "Later, maybe, but not now. I will be ok."

Gibbs nodded. "Just let me know if things get bad ok. The doctor." He broke off when he felt like he was invading her privacy.

Ziva touched his chin, reminding him that she knew what he was trying to help. "I know and I will.." She paused before continuing. "I trust you Jethro you know that, if I become even the slightest bit worried I will tell you. I do not want to have any long term repercussions from this. Someday I want." It was her turn to stop talking, stepping back slightly when she realized that what she ultimately wanted might not be compatible with the man she loved.

Gibbs saw her turn back to the mirror and fuss with the make-up she felt so important. "Ziva, don't do that tell me what you were going to say."

Ziva stared down at her hands. "Someday I want children at least I always have, now there are moments I am not so sure."

Gibbs wrapped his arms around her waist resting his head in the crook of her neck. "Not so sure because you think being with me means you shouldn't want children?"

He felt the sudden uptake in her heartbeat and the unsteadiness of her breath against his palms. "Do you want children Ziva?"

Ziva felt pain lance through her. The answer would define them in some way good or bad and she was terrified of the truth either way. "Yes I do, but while I want children I want you more."

Gibbs smiled as their eyes met in the mirror. "You do not have to choose Ziva. If we choose to be together you can have all the babies you want. I am not a young man so we'd have to start sooner rather than later. But I don't plan on going anywhere soon and if you want a whole brood of them we'll have them."

Ziva felt a shock run through her, a mix of surprise and desire that had her trembling. "Jethro do not say anything you do not mean." Even as the words left her mouth she felt the proof of his honesty against her backside. His was aroused and yet he didn't pull away nor did he try to push her or touch her in any other intimate way.

"I wouldn't Ziva. I wouldn't lie to you about something so important. If we pursue this, and you want children we'll have them And don't believe for a moment that it will be for any reason other than I want to." He felt the slight shudder of desire run through her; he squeezed her a bit tighter before releasing her to turn her in his arms. He pressed his lips to her softly, a quick slide before pulling back to give them both space.

Ziva watched him a long moment before the truth of his words settled around her and she managed a smile. "And if when I am ready is sooner rather than later?" It wouldn't be as soon as she'd like but the truth of his age meant he wasn't wrong. Plus she wanted, needed to see he really meant it.

"When you are medically cleared and certain it's me you want to be with me then…" It was his turn to blush, completely worth it when she laughed.

"I understand why you might have your doubts Jethro. But know this, it was you even before I knew it." She looked toward the bed shared. "But that brings to mind something we should discuss. We have been sharing this room and when the team gets here they may not understand. I do not want to make you uncomfortable in front of them."

Gibbs fixed her with a firm stare. "Do you think I'm ashamed of us?"

Ziva shook her head. "No but I know it will easily be misunderstood and you are their boss. You have your rules and the rules of NCIS."

"You're not my subordinate anymore Ziva and even if you were it wouldn't matter. They'll understand or they won't but I think you aren't giving them enough credit. And by the way I like the way you say my name."

Ziva frowned briefly before realizing she'd used his given name. "I should have asked."

"I think we're past that Zi. Don't worry so much. This, us, it's good. It's just going to take time." He gave her one more brief kiss before stepping from the room. He'd heard a car in the driveway and wanted to give her a moment to compose herself before facing everyone.

Gibbs stepped onto the porch as three of his team stepped out of Tony's car. Abby's running hug was expected, as was the nods from both Tony and McGee. Glancing down at Abby still hugging him tightly he smiled. "Good to see you too Abs."

"I'm glad you brought her here Gibbs." She felt the squeeze of his hand on her shoulder.

"Me too." He felt the shiver of awareness that always came when she was near him and he turned to catch her gaze as she stood leaning in the doorway of his childhood home. To anyone who didn't know she looked casual, relaxed and normal if a bit thin. But as he glanced at the team he watched them try to reconcile the woman she'd been only days before with the one they saw now. They tried not to notice the fear lingering around her, the faint hint of the scar around her neck that might never heal or the way he stared at them demanding they be gentle with her.

Tony didn't need the warning in Gibbs eyes. Ziva had done a good job of camouflaging the marks and bruises with make-up and clothing but the pain still radiated from her as did the fear that flashed like a neon sign. The softest indrawn breath and cough from Abby and McGee told him they were reminded as well. None of them had forgotten the shell shocked Ziva. Or for him and McGee the that felt unworthy of saving, but here in the real world the difference in who she had been and now was, startled them all.

Abby approached Ziva much slower this time than she had that first day. She felt slight arms wrap around her and hold almost desperately tight. The gasp of air in her ear told her tears were only moments away. "I missed you."

Ziva felt the heavy lodge of a sob in her throat. She couldn't speak only hold onto tight to the woman who'd become like a sister to her. Gone, was the shock of landing on American soil and the knowledge that all of NCIS was watching. Instead, she felt close to breaking again. She recognized that the men were moving past them carrying luggage and speaking softly but all she knew was the soft arms Abby wrapped around her. She couldn't fight the tears that forced their way out nor was she able to let go for longer then she would have liked. "And I missed you."

Abby was breaking apart inside, but somehow for Ziva's sake she held it mostly together. Ziva felt too small in her arms, to fragile and the tears were violent in her arms. Still as they finally parted she managed a smile and a steady hand to swipe away Ziva's tears. "You don't get to go away again."

Ziva shook her head. "No I will not be leaving again."

"Pinky Swear?" She saw Ziva's confusion and offered up her pinky finger. She almost broke when finally Ziva laughed and offered her own. Finally Ziva cocked her head toward the rest of the house. Abby nodded and followed her in. Only then did she focus on Gibbs. Her first glance at him hadn't revealed the pain so heavily stamped on his face. He was watching Ziva carefully as she walked into the cozy living room. He held himself as if ready for battle. Meeting Ziva's gaze he offered comfort as only Gibbs could. But there was even more there. In an instant Abby saw a depth of connection that had her stopping abruptly. The love between their gazes was so blatant so obvious it had to have been cultivated over years rather than the few days they'd obviously spent together. She'd always guessed an attraction but never this. For a brief second Gibbs' eyes found hers and the look there was a blatant warning that had she been anyone else would have been frightening.

McGee accepted the hug Ziva offered slowly. He made sure every move he made telegraphed to her that he was not a threat. He didn't fear her but neither did he want to scare her. He kept the hug brief just enough to remind her he cared before stepping back and squeezing her hand. "You look good. Like you're taking care of yourself." He knew he'd said something right when she smiled easily.

Ziva turned to Tony and knew he was waiting for her to make the first move. She pulled him into a hug despite feeling the stress of too much contact and found the comfort she hadn't expected. He held her almost too tight but she managed because he needed it as much as she did. She was trying to hold back tears again when she finally pulled away.

Jackson stepped into the living room carrying a carafe of coffee and a handful of cups. "Hey McGee could you grab the rest of the cups off the table, and Tony maybe you could grab the creamer."

Gibbs sent his father a grateful look before settling himself onto the couch. He only relaxed a bit when Ziva settled in beside him. He didn't miss the signs of discomfort but was grateful everyone but his father seemed to. "Thanks dad."

Ziva felt the heavy weight of all of them watching her when they'd finished pouring and fixing coffee. Instinctively she reached for Gibbs' hand only to find Tony's gaze catching that very gesture.

"Johnson's team is taking our cases on for now. I stopped in yesterday and everything seems fine so far. Vance is adamant we take the full three weeks off." Worried he'd said something wrong Tony managed a laugh. "Fine with me I was thinking of taking a trip maybe Hawaii.

Ziva cocked her head "I would not have thought you one for Hawaii more like Mexico "

Tony didn't mention that thought of the desert would never sit well with him again. "I just thought the ocean and girls in bikini's would be nice." He waggled his eyebrows and was rewarded with her laughter again.

"I have never been to Hawaii. But I hear it is beautiful." Ziva shrugged when Tony stared at her. "Not all of us come from money Tony."

McGee chuckled and punched Tony in the arm. "Maybe we could all go, the last week before our vacation is up." He wasn't normally one for big groups outside of work but the smile on Ziva's face was worth it as was the positive nod from Gibbs.

Abby jumped up almost spilling her coffee. "Oh that would be so fun, sun and lots of food."

Ziva thought of the ocean the cooling waves, the scent of salt in the air so different from the desert that still haunted her. Her hand tightened around Gibbs' but she was afraid to ask, to want something he might say no too.

Gibbs didn't need Ziva to voice that she wanted to go it was easily apparent in the way true excitement lit her face. There was nothing he wouldn't do to keep that look on her face. When she turned to him he didn't question why simply nodded. "Let's plan it. I think it sounds perfect and if we need a few extra days I'm sure I can convince Vance." He didn't mention that a spur of the moment trip wouldn't hurt to keep Eli at bay.

They all discussed the trip for a bit until Ziva started yawning. She caught the glance from Gibbs and was surprised by the way he refrained from commenting. She was tired but admitting the weakness in front of everyone wasn't an easy thought. But, she knew the fatigue would only grow if she ignored it, and she hurt. Standing she almost laughed when all the other men did as well. "I'm still easily tired and I'm going to nap. You can all get settled while I do." She started to walk away when Gibbs caught her elbow and turned toward the rest of them.

"Enjoy the coffee and find your rooms, have something to eat we'll be out in a bit." Where he might have expected some hesitation they only nodded and turned to talk to his dad.

Gibbs followed her into their room and found a comfortable pair of sweats to slip into while she was in the attached bathroom. When she came out she stopped abruptly. "You don't have to stay with me Jethro."

"I want to. If I'm being honest I've gotten used to our naps and I know you sleep better when I'm here. That ok?"

"More than ok." Ziva settled into the bed sighing in relief when he tucked in next to her. "I love you Jethro. I know you will think it is just the moment. The trauma but I promise you it is not that."

Gibbs kissed the back of her neck drawing the scent of her deep in his lungs. "And I love you even though all good sense tells me I need to give you time. The words just keep waiting for me to say them."

"I know you said it does not matter but how do you not see me any different. How can you want to be with me in any way when all of them…" the rest of the words wouldn't come. Only broke on a rush of air as he tightened his arms around her.

"This is the worst example Ziva but ..I have had four wives you don't see them when you look at me. You might see the man I have become as a result and frankly not all of that is good but still you see something worth loving in all that I have lived. I see the same in you. You've lived through so much even before all this. It doesn't taint you, just adds to the story that is who you are. The fact that you can even consider being with anyone let alone me a man who nearly failed you, tells me just how strong you are."

Ziva turned in his arms instantly finding his gaze. "You have never failed me Jethro, not even for a moment. You are not to blame for what happened to me." She bit her lip before glancing back up at him. "Did you mean it?"

"About the babies or Hawaii." He watched her turn a deep shade of rose before he chuckled.

"Well now that you ask that way both." She yawned and felt him tucking her even closer.

"I meant both Ziva, Hawaii first and then we'll have those babies you want. I promise."

"And my father?"

"He won't hurt you again, I swear it. You have me, the team and even my father who's made it clear in no uncertain terms that you will be kept safe. And don't forget you might not feel it now but you are the most capable women I've ever met I have no doubt your father might try but he will not succeed."

"Can your dad come with us to Hawaii?" her words were soft heavy with sleep low enough he almost didn't hear. When he did he smiled into her hair fighting the heavy pull of sleep he hadn't truly expected. "Of course he can Ziva."

"I love you Jethro."

"And I you Ziva." Finally sleep claimed them both and for the first time in days it was uninterrupted.