They hadn't woken as early as they had planned instead they'd slept later than either of them had expected. He heard Ziva giggle as her eyes fixed on the clock. "So much for our early morning hike."

"This is better anyways Jethro."

"I can't disagree. I have something I need to do this morning. Would you be ok with spending some time with Abby while I'm out?"

She nodded. "I can be away from you Jethro. It is not something I prefer and I understand on some level that could be a problem. However I can. Though, I will look forward to your return."

"I won't be long Ziva. Eat something please." He slid from bed and into his clothes quickly. "And I don't mind that you need me nearby Ziva. I don't enjoy being away from you either, it's unsettling."

Ziva bit her lip before asking a question that that made her feel foolish. "Am I too clingy, do I ask too much of you?"

Gibbs kneeled against the bed bringing her fingers to his mouth. "No, Ziva. If I needed space from you I would tell you. I need this closeness as much as you do. And I'm well aware it's probably not the healthiest thing for your healing if we go by what the books say. But I've never been good at following rules and I believe if it became too much for you, that you would tell me."

"I would Jethro because you've shown me I can trust you. Now go do whatever you need to. I think I will ask Abby to walk with me after breakfast so if you come back and I'm not in our room, do not worry. And I promise to take it slow."

He smiled and kissed her hand before exiting the small home. He texted Tony to meet him as made his way toward the local marketplace. They walked together until Gibbs was certain they were out of sight of the houses they had rented.

"Gibbs?" Tony watched as the older man leaned against a palm tree. Any other time he would have laughed instead the way Gibbs was taking one steady breath after another had him concerned. "Is she, ok?"

Gibbs tried to bite back the bitter laugh but didn't succeed instead he had to work not to allow it to take over. "I don't know how to answer that Tony. They whipped her Tony, along with every other hell they put her through they did that as well. And her back….I hadn't seen it until last night and all because I wanted her to go swimming." His total lack of control to make anything better for her had him on the edge of hysterics like he'd never been before. "They couldn't just torture her…just…no they had to mark her in way that will never go away."

Tony felt Gibbs' words more than heard them. His stomach churned and in a moment they were both sitting leaning against palm trees in the middle of paradise thinking of a nightmare that should never have happened. Finally after longer than he would care to admit he was finally able to speak. "I can help, well possibly." He took in the way Gibbs looked at him understood the disbelief there and even the caution. "I have a lot of money. A ridiculous amount actually. I don't talk about it even though everyone jokes about it, and I think about it even less. But, it's there. It's family money which is why my dad always comes around and why I always clean up after him. When she's ready I will arrange for her to see the best plastic surgeon. If that's what she wants."

Gibbs swallowed hard almost hating his next words. "It will require a lot of work Tony and know this It's not about her looks."

"Shut up Gibbs I know what it's about. And the money there's a lot of it. It's invested and has been since I came into it at twenty five at this point I'd have to work really hard to spend it all, really hard. Not to mention I put safeguards in place so I couldn't do that so yeah taking care of Ziva in the monetary sense I won't even notice."

"Alexander Rejas when he died that was you that took care of his family?" He watched the flush of color on Tony's skin and laughed. This time it was a laugh that felt good. "Thank you Tony."

"As I said when she's ready. And whatever other care she needs. She's family, it doesn't matter how things went down before. She's here and alive whatever that's what matters."

"She has regrets Tony, has spent a lot of time trying to find a way to forgive herself for the hurt she caused. I don't know that she will."

"Yeah I see it every time she looks at me. I'm fairly certain she's paid a higher price than anyone ever should for everything. I love her Gibbs, not like you do, not what you share but I care in the way family does and like any family there's history. But she has no need to apologize."

Gibbs didn't know what to say so he stood and waited while Tony did the same. "I have to find her something to swim in. She's worried about the marks."

"A wetsuit Gibbs. It won't seem out of place, surfers wear them all the time, or a pair of boy shorts and a rash guard." He saw Gibbs' Confused look and smirked. "I forget you don't have a clue about women's fashion. I'll show you."

Three hours later Gibbs was reentering the cabana he and Ziva shared alone. She was still out with Abby so he laid out his purchases and went to grab a quick shower. He stepped out not expecting her to be in the room. Surprised when she was and he remembered he'd stepped out in only a towel.

Ziva's eyes snapped to his when she recognized his near nudity. Her body clenched with the way his hand reached for the knot of his towel.

"I'm sorry Ziva I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." They had slept together but always fully clothed.

"Do not apologize Jethro you have no reason to be." She stayed still as he walked closer to her. Every step was slow, carefully taken until he was just in front of her less than arm's length away. She reached out and touched his shoulder.

Gibbs felt the soft brush of her fingers along the curve of his bicep. He stayed motionless holding steady in his stillness. Her eyes lifted back to his almost an apology in them. "It's fine Ziva."

She almost took a step back. Instead she let her hand trail back toward his chest tracing the muscles that almost surprised her. There were scars similar to hers, healed bullet wounds and knife marks. Scattered here and there they only added to the edgy beauty that she saw in him. "I always knew you were handsome Jethro but seeing you this way. You are even more so." She watched a flush of color on his face and smiled. "Should I not give you compliments?"

"Thank you Ziva. I like the way you look at me. Even more the way you just touched me. The fact you enjoy the way I look is a good thing."

Her hands trailed lower until they were at the edge of the towel. She trembled as she slipped loose the knot of fabric and watched the white cloth fall to the ground. She drew in a sharp breath fighting the rush of lust followed sharply by fear that had her hand frozen at his belly button. He wasn't a small man, fully aroused and thrusting hard with need he was much larger than she would have guessed.

She stepped back shaking her head and trying to fight the fear she'd brought upon herself. "I am sorry I should not have. I was not trying to be a tease." Tears gathered in her eyes and she was turning away from him.

Gibbs slid into the bathrobe he'd carelessly left on the end of the bed before pulling her into his arms holding her tight. "Breathe Ziva"

"I had no right."

"You did nothing wrong Ziva." His body had raged for release at her touch but now her grief cooled him and as he drew her into the bed next to him there was no urgent demand. At the least not one he couldn't ignore.

"I made you..uncomfortable and that is not fair."

"You aroused me Ziva. Your touch was welcome and yes my body wants you. But, my mind knows without a doubt that you need far more time. I have said it before I am not ruled by what my body wants. If looking at me, touching me at your discretion helps you to become comfortable with me then of course it is welcome. You have no reason to apologize."

She hiccupped as she fought past the stress of a body and mind still fragmented. "You need and I cannot relieve that need. Would it help for you to find someone?"

"Stop Ziva don't say it." He had to lift her chin so she would look at him. "You are worthy of my patience Ziva. You are worthy of my fidelity and whatever time it takes for us to come together. No woman could replace you not even for a moment of simple release."

"You are angry with me."

"No Ziva simply frustrated that you don't understand your worth. But then I don't think you've ever been taught how too. You are strong, a warrior, a soldier and so many other things. But no one has ever allowed you to be the woman you really are. I intend to fix that."

"I wanted to touch you. Know what it feels like to feel you as mine. But I am not ready."

"That honesty Ziva as I said before is what means you will heal. When, you are ready and not before."

"Yet still there are things you want but do not share with me. It bothers me." She saw him smile. That crooked grin that never failed to force her own, even now.

"I hold back Ziva because I don't want to pressure you with what's in my head." The slightest frown marred her forehead and he found his fingers stroking her brow.

"You promised me honesty Jethro. You are not lying but you are omitting. I would like you to tell me what it is you think you cannot say to me."

He looked into her eyes seeing the trust she had for him and wondering how she had any left at all. "I want to marry you Ziva. I want to make you mine. And if I'm being honest I don't want to wait. More than being with you in any physical way I want to know you will always be with me."

Ziva drew in a sharp breath. The absolute certainty in his words was loud and clear. The madness that frequently floated through her mind stilled as he touched the skin at her temples. He wasn't quite looking at her. His eyes darted here and there and she almost laughed that it was her turn to touch his jaw and force his gaze to her. "You mean this yes?

"Despite knowing I shouldn't tell you so, that it's too soon and could possibly do you more harm than good. Yes I mean it more than you can know." He watched tears gather in her eyes, the rough way she pulled in a breath and started to pull back.

"Being so wanted by a man such as you Jethro could never do me harm. It is hard to understand and even believe but it is far from hurt I feel."

"I loved you before I allowed myself to understand it Ziva or see it for what it was. It's why when you left I couldn't deal with it, why I waited so long to look for you. I knew if I found you I would need to know if you could want me too. And when I knew you were missing, possibly dead." His voice caught and he was forced to swallow hard fighting bile, mistakes and rage. "I spent every spare moment looking for you and preparing my body to fight for you. I knew that even then if it wasn't me you wanted I could manage if I at least knew you were safe."

"I haven't just wanted you Jethro. If I had thought that all I needed from you could have been sated by a night in your bed I would have showed up at your home with just that intent long ago. But I knew even before, that what I wanted wasn't simple. I thought that meant it would be too much for you." She looked down between them where there hands came together. "Of course I would marry you Jethro but I am a broken woman. One who cannot even be a proper wife. I would say yes now and marry you before we even left this island but I cannot imagine you in a life so full of uncertainty."

He stroked her cheek. "There is no uncertainty Ziva. As much as my insecurities might like to tell me I see love in your eyes. If I could never be with you physically I would still love you this way. Of that you should have no doubt."

Ziva couldn't fight the sob that pushed out of her lips. "You are a gift Jethro one I have trouble remembering I deserve. Yet you show me each day that I am worthy just as you worried"

"Is that a yes then?" He quirked a grin at her and laughed when she blushed. For just a moment there was the echo of the woman he'd known before. Quickly he shut that out. She was this woman now and he wouldn't do her the disservice of forgetting that.

Ziva bit her lip once again aimlessly tracing the small bit of his chest the robe revealed. "I should say no." she pressed her hand against him where his heart was thudding just beneath her palm. "And yet somehow I find myself saying Yes." She smiled back at him and felt joy rushing through her veins. In the moment she believed that even her redemption was possible.