"Ohhhhkay," said Luna, pulling out their poster of all Herminoe's suitors. "That last episode was a doozy. Are we all in agreement that Tom is out?"

"Booooo," said Cedric, and Cho flicked her wand. A big red "X" appeared over Tom's picture.

"Top picks? I've got Severus, Harry, and Neville," said Luna. Gold stars and pink hearts appeared over their pictures.

"Okay," said Cho. "I'm actually not going to argue about Severus this week. He's been really good for her recently, and to Harry. What are we thinking about Ron?"

"I'm on the fence about him," said Cedric. "Nice guy, but I just don't see him and Hermione getting married. I like Harry, and Dean, and Oliver."

"That's two votes for Harry," said Luna, flicking her wand. Harry's picture was covered with stars and hearts. "I'd really like to see a one-on-one with Dean or Oliver this week as well."

"Oliver was one of my top picks week one. I second Oliver," said Cho. More stars and hearts. "But I think she's going to go for Harry or Justin."

"Ahh, yes, the smart Hufflepuff," said Luna, flicking her wand. "Okay, we all voted for Harry, guys." Harry's picture moved to the top of the board into a spot Luna had ironically labeled, "Mr. Granger."

"Shame about his scar, though," said Cedric. "He must really like Hermione to put up with that."

"I do hope he'll be alright," said Cho.

The show began. The trio immediately silenced and sat together on the couch.

HERMIONE CAM: "Last week was extremely difficult for many reasons. I want to put it all behind us and get back to really getting to know these men. I have some great dates planned that I'm really excited for. And we're travelling to a couple of new locations. So, goodbye Norway, and-"

"HELLO IRELAND!" Gilderoy Lockhart exclaimed as the men stepped out of the Floo.

"Gilderoy!" they gasped.

"Yes, indeed, I am back and...ummm...where am I?" Gilderoy asked.

The men laughed nervously. Rita Skeeter apparated onto the scene. "My apologies, gentlemen. We did an erasure of Gilderoy's memories of liking Hermione so he could return to the show. Apparently I am perceived as cold and bitchy...anyways, his memory does fade in and out sometimes, so just bear with him," she explained. "Gilderoy, this is Ireland. You're hosting The Bachelorette." She spoke to him like a child. He nodded and smiled.

"Yes, yes, yes, thank you. I think I have something I'm supposed to give them?" Gilderoy asked.

"Yes, Gilderoy. The date card. Give them the date card," said Rita, patting him on the shoulder.

"Right!" he said, shuffling through his suit pockets. "Ahh! Here it is!" He pulled the familiar white card out of his inside pocket. He turned it around so he could read it. "It says, SEE-mus. Who is SEE-mus?"

"SHAY-mus!" Seamus nearly squealed from excitement. "It's pronounced SHAY-mus! It's Irish!"

"Oh, right, you," said Gilderoy, handing Seamus the card. "You're still here, huh?"

Everyone giggled uncomfortably. Seamus stared at Gilderoy in disbelief. "Yes, Gilderoy. I'm still here."

"Huh," said Gilderoy. "Hey, Rita, where's Viktor Krum?"

"Ohhhkay," said Rita. "Obviously we've got some work to do. Let's go back to your trailer, alright, Gilderoy? Seamus, your date leaves in an hour. Good luck!"

They apparated out, and Seamus stared at his date card, still in disbelief.

"What's it say?" asked Dean.

"It says, 'Kiss me, I'm Irish,'" said Seamus. "Is Hermione Irish?"

"I think you're focusing on the wrong part of the date card there, buddy," said Dean.

DEAN CAM: "I have mixed feelings. Of course I'm happy for my bro here, but, damn! I want that freaking date!"

Hermione arrived in an hour as promised. She had on a casual brown dress and leggings. Seamus met in her a green polo and nice pair of jeans.

"Hi!" she said happily. "What do you think of Ireland so far?"

Seamus laughed. "I love it, obviously! I think you're gonna love it too."

Hermione facepalmed. "Ugh. I'm sorry. I forgot you lived here."

"Oh, I thought you were joking," said Seamus. "I kinda thought that's why you picked me for this date."

"No," she said. "I just picked you."

SEAMUS CAM: "Take that, Gilderoy Lockhart! She picked me!"

HERMIONE CAM: "My relationship with Seamus has progressed slower than some of the others. I'm really hoping we can go to the next level today. If not, I'm going to have a hard decision to make."

"Alright," said Marcus, "the pool is open!"

"I got two Galleons he goes home," said Draco.

"Three Galleons he goes home," said Tom.

"Hmmm," said Colin. "How shall I gamble today?"

"You've had a pretty good track record so far," said Marcus. "You've made some tough calls."

Colin had been the only one to put money on Krum going home. He stroked his beardless chin as he contemplated. "Well, on one hand, Seamus is a nice guy, and he's Gryffindor. She favors Gryffindors."

"Yeah, but he's not particularly smart," said Zach. "I got two on going home."

"Woah, woah, woah!" Dean cried, rushing in from the next room. "What are you doing?"

Marcus closed his ledger abruptly. "Nothing?"

Ron followed. "Oh, is the pool open? I got one on going home."

"WHAT?!" Dean exclaimed.

Marcus sighed. "Sit down, my friend. We need to talk."

"Seamus is not going home," said Dean. "That's crazy talk. Why do you all think he's going home?"

"I mean," said Colin. "Eh?"

"You've gotta face the fact that Seamus might go home, Dean," said Ron, patting him on the shoulder.

"But...why though?" Dean asked.

"Look," said Ron, sitting down with him, "Seamus is great. We all think he's great."

"Debatable," said Draco. Ron kicked him.

"But," Ron continued, "but, does Hermione think he's as great as you do?"

"Definitely not," said Draco. "Hey, they got Guinness up in this bitch?"

"Behold," said Zach, opening the fridge. Draco, Marcus, Colin and Tom peered in and cheered. "Muggle beer at its finest, lads," said Zach, passing the bottles around.

Dean opened it and drank absentmindedly. Finally he said, "Ten Galleons."

"Ten?" they all gasped.

"But not even Colin would-" Zach started. Dean put his finger in front of Zach's face.

"Ten. Galleons," Dean repeated. "Write it, Marcus."

Marcus took a long sip of his beer before recording Dean's bet in his ledger.

Seamus and Hermione took a Portkey to a train station, and they were off on a private tour of the Irish countryside.

"Have you been to the Blarney Stone?" Hermione asked him.

"I haven't," he replied.

"You haven't?" Hermione asked. "Oh, good. That's where we're going!"

"Oh, no way! I've always wanted to go there. It's funny. You live in a place, but you usually don't do all the touristy things in the place where you live, you know? So thanks, Hermione. I'm glad I get to share this with you," said Seamus.

"Me too," said Hermione. They held hands across the table. The waiter brought them some cheese and crackers and wine. "Oh, thank you!" Hermione said. She picked up the wine and proposed a toast.

Seamus clinked glasses with her, then took a small swallow. He made a face. "Why is it always wine on this show?" he asked.

"Right?!" Hermione said.

"You don't like it either?" Seamus confirmed.

"No!" said Hermione. "Thank you! You're the first to say it. I mean, I do like some wines, but this dry stuff is just not for me. I'd prefer a good butterbeer."

"Any beer, really," said Seamus. "I bet they're drinking Guinness back at the house."

"I'm jealous," said Hermione.

"Well, you should come over sometime," said Seamus.

"I...," Hermione started. "Huh. Maybe I should. They didn't say there was a rule against it."

"This show obviously has no rules," said Seamus. "You're the bachelorette. You should be able to do what you want."

"I should!" Hermione agreed. "Thank you!"

"And drink what you want!" Seamus added.

Hermione picked up a piece of cheese and raised it in the air. "Here, here!"

HERMIONE CAM: "Seamus is always thinking outside the box like that. He was the one who invited me into the carriage on night one. That's what makes him really stand out and makes me want to get to know him better."

The couple arrived at Blarney Castle. A muggle tour guide showed the couple around and provided them historical information before they went to the top of the castle where the Blarney Stone was kept. Here the tour guide left them.

"The gift of gab, eh?" said Seamus. He looked at the stone, then down through the safety bars at the ground below. "Well," he said, his stomach getting queasy, "ladies first."

"Okay," said Hermione. "Help me?"

Seamus held onto her as she effortlessly bent down and planted a kiss on the Blarney Stone. She popped back up happily and switched places with him, ready to assist in his endeavor.

Then a thought occurred to Seamus. Why were they kissing a stone instead of each other? He had been one of the slowest to kiss her, having only done so for the first time last week. He had lost time to make up for! So, after he kissed the stone, on his way back up, he reached out to embrace her, and they locked lips, and tumbled backwards onto the safety railings under the Blarney Stone.

"Uhhhh," Seamus said.

"Ow," Hermione moaned.

"Are you two alright?!" said a crewman.

"Uhhh...yeah, I think so," said Seamus. "Hermione?"

"I'm sore, but, I think I'm okay," said Hermione. Their heads were against the safety railing, and their legs were twisted around each other. The Blarney Stone was above their heads.

"Okay, we'll get you out," said the crewman. "Just stay put."

"No, I got it," said Seamus. "If we just move the stone, we can get up no problem," he said. He reached into his pocket and produced his wand. "Watch out, Hermione. Wingardium Leviosa!"

The Blarney Stone lifted out of place and hovered above them.

"Seamus, that's brilliant!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Well," said Seamus, trying to be smooth, "it's a child's spell, really. Go on, ladies first."

With the help of the crewman, Hermione got back on the ledge. "Hurry, Seamus, before a muggle sees!"

"Right," he said. He struggled with balancing the stone and getting back on the ledge. All the color had drained from Hermione's face. "Hey, baby, it's alright. I'm alright," he said, putting his arm around her.

"One," Hermione said calmly, "please don't call me baby."

"Noted," said Seamus. "Sorry."

"Two," said Hermione, "look." She pointed to where the Blarney Stone typically sits. There was nothing there. The crewmen fell into a panic. They looked over the ledge, all over the top of the castle, and found nothing. "What did you do?" Hermione asked.

"Umm," was all he could say.

"What," Hermione repeated more sternly, "did. You. DO?!"

Seamus sighed still in disbelief. "Oh. I don't know. This kind of thing just happens to me sometimes."

"Where's the stone, Seamus?" Hermione asked.

"I...I don't know. Sometimes I accidentally teleport things."

"Okay," she asked, starting to breath very heavily. "Where did you teleport this NATIONAL LANDMARK too?"

"Well, that's the thing," said Seamus. "I don't always know."

"We got a deck of cards in our room," said Dean. "I'll go get it." Dean left the table occupied by Harry, Ron, Neville, Lee, and Oliver. He opened the door to his and Seamus's room and found a large block of limestone greeting him. Dean examined it. "What the?" he muttered. He prodded it with his wand cautiously, and, after determining the stone to be harmless, shrugged and retrieved the deck of cards. "Say," he said to his friends upon returning to the table, "did any of you blokes leave a big rock in our room?"

"A big rock?" asked Ron. "No, I haven't lost any big rocks recently. Have you, Harry?"

"You know who keeps rocks," said Lee. "Tom Riddle. I bet it's his rock."

"Bloody hell!" Dean exclaimed. "And I touched it, too!"

"Oh, you're probably cursed, mate," said Lee.

The boys laughed nervously. Slowly, they all scooted their chairs away from him.

"Oh, come on!" said Dean. "I ain't cursed. I don't feel cursed." He itched his nose. "Oh gods. I'm cursed! Oh gods oh gods..."

"Hold on," said Harry. "We ought to have Professor Snape look at the rock. If it's cursed, he'll know what to do with it."

"There's a sick part of me that wants it to be cursed," Ron whispered.

"Oh, some friend you are!" Dean spat.

"I mean, it would get You-Know-Who out of here, right?!" Ron exclaimed.

"Ugh, Ron, don't call him You-Know-Who. It sounds like you're talking about, well, You-Know-Who!" Oliver said.

"How much you wanna bet Snape finds a Dark Mark on it?" Lee asked. Oliver smacked him.

"This is silly. Why don't we just go to Tom and ask him if it's his rock?" Oliver asked.

"I ain't talking to him!" Dean exclaimed. "If he did put one of his rocks in my room, it can't be good!"

"I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for...erm...a random rock appearing in your room," said Oliver.

Dean coughed. "Oh gods. PROFESSOR! PROFESSOR SNAPE!" Dean jumped up from his chair and ascended the stairs again. The rest followed him.

Severus and Tom were both in their room, not talking to each other. Dean burst in with his wand drawn.

"What do you lot want?" Severus asked dryly.

Dean pointed his wand at Tom. "Did you put a rock in my room?"

Tom looked up from his diary. "Da fuck?"

"DON'T PLAY DUMB! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!"

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!" Tom shouted, pulling out his wand. "BUT I WILL NOW!"

"Hey now, that sounds like a threat!" Ron said, taking out his wand.

"I don't make threats. I make promises," said Tom coolly.

"Erm...Professor, if I may," said Harry. "It seems someone has put a rock in Dean and Seamus's room, and we're just worried it might be cursed is all."

"Oh, of course," said Tom. "So you just automatically assume it's me."

"Well?!" Dean said, pointing frantically to the seven rocks lined up on the window ledge.

"Sure, Potter, I'll look at the rock. Weasley, Thomas, put down your wands. You too, Riddle," said Severus. "Children, the lot of you," he scoffed as he pushed through the crowd of Gryffindors.

They all followed Severus to Dean and Seamus's room. Severus carefully levitated the rock and examined it. There was no Dark Mark to be found. Next, Severus subjected it to a series of other spells. The entire house was gathered around at this point. Marcus was taking bets on what the rock would do.

Finally, a crewman entered. "Hey, can we see that rock?" he asked.

"It's nothing remarkable," said Severus. "Not in the slightest. It's a perfectly ordinary rock."

The crewman measured the rock and nodded. He spoke into his wand, "We've got it. It's in the mansion."

"What is it?" asked Severus. "If we may be so bold as to ask."

"It's the Blarney Stone," said the crewman. "Seamus accidentally teleported it here."

"I WIN!" Colin shouted.

"Oh, SERIOUSLY?!"

While the men shouted at Colin, Dean followed the crewman out of the room. "Hey," he said. "Don't tell them you have the stone."

"What? Why not?" asked the crewman. "This is causing quite a stir. We had to block all muggle tourists from arriving at the castle and obliviate the tour guide."

"You can tell them. Just not Seamus and Hermione. I want to surprise them," said Dean.

"Hm," said the crewman, considering. "I'll have to consult the producers." The tip of his wand glowed, and he brought it to his lips. "Hey, Rita? I've got one of the contestants here, and he wants to personally deliver the Blarney Stone back. Is that alright?" The crewman nodded. "You can come with us."

Dean and the crewman carried the stone down the stairs and carefully apparated to Blarney Castle. Hermione and Seamus were enjoying a dinner.

"And then my dad said-" Seamus was saying. Hermione choked on her steak. "Oh, blimey! Are you alright?" Seamus asked. She pointed over Seamus's shoulder, and there was Dean and the crewman, carrying the Blarney Stone.

"Hey, guys," said Dean. "Lose something?"

"Oh, my, GODS!" Hermione finally said.

"Ohhh...I sent it to you!" Seamus said with relief.

"Where's this go?" Dean asked. A bevy of crewmen gathered around and ushered him to the place where the Blarney Stone is supposed to be. Magically, they repaired the castle.

"So, you're good friends with Dean, aren't you?" Hermione asked.

"Oh, yeah," said Seamus. "He's a fine bloke. A really fine bloke. Puts up with me well enough. As you can see, I'm a bit of a mess sometimes."

"Yeah," Hermione said nervously. "This was something."

Involuntarily, her eyes wandered over to Dean laughing with the crewmen. She imagined how this date would have went differently if she'd chosen Dean instead of Seamus. She wondered what they were all saying over there that was so damn funny.

"Hermione?" Seamus asked.

"Hm? Oh, yes, of course," said Hermione.

"Oh, that's so good to hear you say! I was worried I'd blown it today with the whole, you know, Blarney Stone caper," Seamus said. He glanced down at the rose expectantly.

Evidently Seamus had asked her something while she was lost in thought, and her response had made him very happy and confident. The whole incident with the stone had certainly overwhelmed her, and she wasn't any more sure of her feelings for Seamus now as she had when she started the day. But she knew how she felt about Dean. That had never been more clear to her.

"Hey, Seamus, what do you think of a change of scenery?" asked Hermione.

"Oh?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just, really want to get away from this castle," said Hermione. "It's too hard for me to figure out my feelings here when I'm just thinking about the stone."

"Oh, okay, yeah," said Seamus.

Dean walked back over. "Sorry to crash your date," he said. "They say I have to go home now, so..."

"Awww," both Seamus and Hermione said.

"Awww," Dean echoed. "You guys are too great. But you don't really want me third wheeling your date." He outstretched his arms to hug both of them before walking away with the crewman.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," said Seamus. "See ya later, mate."

A crewman approached them and said they could transition out of the castle and to the field behind the castle. There they could watch the sunset together over a couple of cold beers.

They sat down together on a rock. "To falling in love in Ireland," said Seamus. "Greatest country on Earth."

"Yeah," Hermione said absentmindedly. Seamus put his arm around her and started to initiate kisses. She returned them. Fireworks started to go off around them.

"Despite everything," said Seamus. "This has been one of the best days of my life."

Hermione's heart broke, and tears started falling out of her eyes. "I'm sorry, Seamus."

Seamus walked back into the mansion, and the Gryffindors cheered. Dean came to meet him with open arms, and then stopped. Seamus didn't have a rose.

"What...what's happening?" Dean asked.

"Friendzoned," Seamus said, trying to laugh.

"But," Dean stammered.

"She thought I deserved a chance to say goodbye," said Seamus, "since I had such good friends here." They all gathered around Seamus and raised their glasses to him as he collected his suitcase. On his way out the door, he said, "Hey, Dean?"

"Yea, Sea?" said Dean.

"Take good care of her for me," said Seamus.

"Will do, mate. Will do. See you in the real world," said Dean.

"But not too soon," said Seamus. "She likes you, man. She wouldn't say it, but I could see it, when you showed up. She changed."

"Shhh," whispered Dean, blushing. "Not in front of the guys. You'll put a target on my back."

"Get a room!" Marcus called from the kitchen. Seamus and Dean had gotten unnaturally close to one another. Dean flipped Marcus the bird with one hand, and fist-bumped Seamus with the other.

"Oh yeah," said Seamus. "I'm supposed to give you guys this." He handed Dean a date card. "Goodbye, everyone!"

"Goodbye, Seamus!" they all called. And with that, Seamus took his leave.

"Alright," said Dean, "let's see what we've got here." He opened the card and read: "Harry, Ron, Draco, Severus, Neville, Tom, Marcus, Colin, Justin, Zach, Oliver, Lee. Ice, ice baby. Hermione."

"You got a one-on-one!" Colin pointed out.

Dean looked at the card again. "Oh yeah. Look at that! I got a one-on-one!"

DEAN CAM: "It's bittersweet to see my best mate leave tonight, but this kinda makes up for it. I mean, it really makes up for it. This is just what I needed!" He looked down at the group date card again, which he hadn't bothered to set down before going into the solo camera room. He noticed Oliver's name looked funny. He picked it up to examine it. It was subtle, but Oliver's name had obviously been written over a strip of white out. Dean knew he shouldn't, but he scratched at the white out. It flaked off easily beneath his fingernail. Sure enough, under Oliver's name, the card read, "Dean." Dean flushed. Hermione had switched out the names last minute. "No one can ever know this," he whispered to the cameraman. He tossed the date card into the fire. "I kinda wish I didn't know it."

The men had been instructed to bring bathing suits, so they were pretty sure they were going to the beach. They talked excitedly about Hermione in a bikini, so they were confused when she appeared in a parka.

"Hermione?" Zach asked. "You know this is a beach date, right?"

"Is it?" Hermione asked. She winked. "Follow me." They would follow her anywhere. She lead them into the woods, and there was a hatchet in a stump. It was obviously a Portkey. "Gentlemen, we are leaving Ireland today. Our group date takes place in Iceland."

Some of the men oohed and ahhhed, but many were confused. "What are we doing in Iceland in bathing suits?" Draco asked.

"You'll see," she said. She touched the Portkey. "Coming?" They all followed, and the place they found themselves in next was remarkable. It was a rocky landscape surrounded by snow capped mountains, and in the center was an array of steaming ponds and lakes. "Welcome to the Blue Lagoon," said Hermione. "This is why we brought bathing suits, Draco. All of this water is volcanic hot springs." She took off her parka, and the much anticipated bikini was revealed. "Alright, boys, come on in, the water's fine!"

Some of the men were already wearing their swim trunks under their clothes and stripped right there. Others needed to be directed to changing stalls.

"So, what's the catch?" Tom asked.

"Catch?" Hermione asked, accepting a drink from a worker.

"You know," said Tom. "The contest. The challenge. How do I win extra time with you today, Hermione?"

"Oh," Hermione said with a laugh. "None of that today. I wanted a date where everyone could just relax."

Tom nodded respectfully. "I'll drink to that," he said. He flagged down the waiter. "One Parseltongue, please."

"What, sir?" the man asked, confused.

"They're muggles," Hermione whispered. "He means a Long Island Iced Tea."

"Oh, I've never heard it called that before," said the waiter. "Coming right up, sir."

"Hey, Marucs, look," said Draco, kicking at a pile of clothes. "Aren't these Tom's clothes?"

"I think so," said Marcus.

"Yeah, look, here's his diary," said Draco. He took the little book out of Tom's pants pockets and started to flip through it. "Weird. It's bloody blank."

"Yeah, come to think of it, it was blank when I found it in the bathroom that one day," said Marcus.

"But isn't he always writing in it?" asked Draco.

"Every time I poke my head in their room, yeah," said Marcus. "Must be enchanted ink or something."

"Hm," said Draco. "Well, here's to that, then." Draco chucked the diary into the nearest spring.

"That was unnecessary, man," said Marcus.

"He's unnecessary," said Draco. "I can't wait to watch him freak the fuck out."

Without any gimmicks, Hermione was able to catch up with all of the men for much more time than usual. She took each of them one by one to separate parts of the lagoon to talk and make out.

They got dressed for dinner inside the Blue Lagoon resort. Dinner was awkward. Despite it being such a good date, everyone was aware that she'd just made out with everyone at the table. She also hadn't a clue who she'd give the rose to. There was Tom, who was back to his usual calm and polite self. Then there was Harry, who was always a joy to talk to. Ron, who always made her laugh. Justin, who always had something interesting to talk about. Neville, who always made her feel happy and safe. She had had many great conversations today, and a few had fallen flat, but nobody was sweeping her off her feet either.

"Is there a Hermione Granger here?" asked a man who had approached the dinner table.

"Yes, that would be me," said Hermione.

"Excellent," said the man. "There's band here to perform for you."

A curtain in the dining hall opened to reveal a five-piece band, and the song "Mountain Sound" started to play. Hermione squealed.

"No way!" exclaimed Oliver. "It's Of Monsters and Men!"

"You know them?!" Hermione said.

"Hell yeah," said Oliver. "I like this mellow stuff after being out with the kids all day. Calms me down, ya know."

"Right," Hermione laughed.

"Say, you wanna dance?" Oliver asked.

"Sure!" Hermione said. He took her hand across the table and kissed it. The pair got out of their chairs and walked closer to the performers. He took her in his arms and rocked her back and forth.

She knew the appearance of the surprise concert meant the night was drawing to a close. She wasn't ready. She wanted more time with all of them. She sighed and laid her head on Oliver's shoulder.

"Do we have to go back to Ireland?" Oliver whispered.

"Unfortunately," Hermione said. Oliver twirled her, and then she was whisked away by Lee Jordan. Hermione spent about half a song with each of her suitors, all except for Severus, who thought dancing was frivolous and awkward.

She sat down with him and had an Old Merlin, known to muggles as an Old Fashioned, while the band finished their last song. "You hold your liquor well," Severus noted.

"I haven't been drinking as much as you think," Hermione confessed. "By the way, where is Tom? He's been downing Parseltongues, and you know why they call it a Parseltongue..."

"Makes you slur like a snake," Severus said with a nod. "Hm, that's interesting. I haven't seen him either."

"He's so quiet I just now realized that he isn't here," said Hermione. She flagged down a crewman. "Where's Tom?" she asked.

The crewman scratched his head. "I don't...oh, there he is!"

Tom was approaching the table, dripping wet. "Ummm...Tom?" Hermione asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," said Tom. "I dropped my clothes in the hot spring. I went in after them. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to dry off."

"Of course," said Hermione. "I'll save you some food."

"Mmm-hmmm," said Tom. He flapped his diary in the air, and water splattered over the dance floor.

When he'd gone, Severus said, "Don't bother about the food. He doesn't eat much."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"I mean just that. He doesn't eat much. I've seen him drink and eat only on occasion," said Severus. "He's gone days without eating."

"Okay, that's weird," said Hermione.

HERMIONE CAM: "Just when I think I'm starting to understand Tom, I learn something new that's just wrong. I was even seriously considering giving him the rose, but now I'm just not sure again. Why is this so hard?"

Hermione picked up the rose and went onto the dance floor, where the men weren't really dancing, but just standing around drinking and enjoying the music. She tapped Oliver on the shoulder. "Hey," she said. "Will you accept this rose?"

"Absolutely," he said, taking her in his arms and planting a kiss on her.

The other men muttered "Congratulations" and left them alone. The crew was rounding them up to take them to the Portkey, but Hermione hung back with Oliver. She and Oliver were able to stay longer and have a drink with the band. Then, they went out alone on the patio and watched the Northern Lights.

They realized they needed to go back when the crew started to fall asleep.

Dean woke up, showered, and got dressed. It was unusually quiet in their room. He heard the sounds of Harry and Ron laughing together next door.

The date card had said, "The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink, and someone to love you. -Brendan Behan." Dean didn't know who Brendan Behan was, but he had to agree with the sentiment.

Hermione was wearing a green shamrock t-shirt when she picked him up. She smiled broadly and jumped into his arms in greeting. "Hey," he said, "how are you?"

"I'm doing great," she said. She meant it. She was genuinely having a good week. Drama had been minimal. "Any ideas what we're going to do today on our date?"

"No," he said. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to Dublin," said Hermione, "and we're going to eat and drink at every pub we see."

"Are you serious?" asked Dean.

"Yeah!" she said. "We're going on a pub crawl!"

"Oh my gods," said Dean. "That is awesome!"

"Are you ready?" asked Hermione.

"Born ready," said Dean.

"There's a Portkey waiting for us," said Hermione. "Let's go!"

DEAN CAM: "What did I do to deserve this? I've got a smoking hot girl, and she comes to me and says she wants to eat and drink with me all day. Like, what?! That's insane! I'm literally on the best possible date with the best possible girl, and I can't believe it!"

The Portkey took Dean and Hermione to a Dublin alley. They started at a place called O'Donoghues where they ate breakfast.

"So do you spend a lot of your time in the muggle world?" asked Dean. "I noticed a lot of your dates are not magic related."

Hermione hadn't even noticed that was the trend this week. "Well, Ireland and Iceland are places I wanted to go when I was a little girl, before I knew I was a witch. Like, I loved the stories my parents told me about, you know, the Blarney Stone and such. So I guess that's what this week was about to me."

"And little Hermione always dreamed of a day of drinking and eating in Dublin, eh?" Dean teased.

"Haha! No, I guess, yeah, I do like to go to muggle places a lot. I mean, there aren't as many options for wizard-folk if you're going to exist strictly in the wizarding world. I don't want to go to the Leaky Cauldron every time I want to go out to eat, you know?"

"Right?! I couldn't agree more," said Dean. "I still prefer most muggle restaurants over wizard ones."

"It's like, there's a whole big beautiful world out there," said Hermione. "Some things can be magical just on their own. You don't need, you know, actual magic all the time."

"Yeah," said Dean. "I totally get that. Pureblood families are weird as hell sometimes."

"So isolated," Hermione agreed.

They talked about their muggle families long after the check came and had been paid for by the producers. They moved onto the next pub, The Brazen Head, where they started to drink. They jumped from pub to pub afterward, sampling and sharing small plates and large drinks. Soon, it was midnight, and Hermione wasn't sure where she was apart from dancing in Dean's arms to some lively Irish folk music. A crewman had to pull them off the dance floor.

"Sorry, guys, we've gotta wrap this up," said the crewman.

"Oh, what?" asked Hermione. "Wait, I haven't even given him his rose yet!"

"We put it out with your chips," said the crewman.

"Oh," said Dean. "I forgot we ordered those." He walked over to their table and picked up the basket. "Hermione, will you accept these chips?"

"Of course I will!" Hermione squealed. "Oh, thank you!" She took the basket, ate a chip, then picked up the rose. "And will you, Dean, accept this rose?"

"Always," said Dean. They kissed, and the whole pub cheered. They handed the chips to another couple as they walked out arm in arm.

Hermione was confused. She was confident on those she was going to keep for certain, but she had questions about a few of the guys, so she called a cocktail party. The guys were thrilled, but also nervous, because many were unsure of where they currently stood with Hermione.

MARCUS CAM: "I bet against myself in the pool. I'm just not sure Hermione feels the same about me anymore."

DRACO CAM: "I'm pulling out all the stops today. She won't forget about me, that's for sure."

COLIN CAM: "Draco is becoming unbearable! I mean, like, more than usual. His insecurity is reaching a breaking point. Hermione needs to either take him on a date or send him packing immediately."

Hermione was beer pong partners with Lee Jordan. Zacharias Smith tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey, when you're done here, can I steal you away?"

"Of course," said Hermione. "We're losing anyways."

"We're not losing. We're getting ready for a comeback," Lee corrected her.

Harry tossed the ball and sank Hermione and Lee's last cup. Hermione hugged Lee before going away with Zach. They sat in a hanging bench together. Zach took her hand. "I'm glad you called this cocktail party," said Zach. "The guys are cool and all, but I didn't come here to play frat house, you know?"

"Right, yeah," said Hermione. "It was actually Seamus who gave me the idea to come here more often and hang with you guys."

"Oh yeah? That'd be really great," said Zach. "Seamus was a good guy."

"He was, yeah," said Hermione.

"So," said Zach, "what do you picture your life like after this?"

"Well," said Hermione, "I'm hopefully engaged."

"Of course," said Zach. "What kind of guy do you picture yourself with? You're obviously a very independent woman. Do you kinda see yourself 'wearing the pants' in the family, so to speak, or are you looking for someone more on your level?"

"Haha! Wow, that's a good question," said Hermione. "Yeah, I've been on my own for so long. I think it might be difficult for me to give up control. But I definitely don't want to be a boss at home either. I mean, I do that enough at work."

"Right, I gotcha," said Zach.

"So, what about you? Do you expect to 'wear the pants'?" Hermione asked.

"Good question, good question, I-" Zach stopped mid sentence, because Draco was standing beside them. "Can I help you?" Zach asked.

"Mind if I cut in?" Draco asked.

"Kinda," said Zach. "We're having a deep conversation here, man. Can you give me just a few more minutes?"

Draco sighed and turned around, then turned back to face them. "Why don't we ask what the lady thinks?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. "The lady thinks she needs to talk to Zach right now, and then she'll find you."

"Fine," said Draco, walking away pouting. Draco bumped into Tom on the way out.

"Five," said Tom.

"I'm sorry?" asked Draco.

"You've stolen Miss Granger five times already today," said Tom. "Within one and a half hours. You've talked to her five times."

"Uh, so? Why are you keeping count?" asked Draco.

"Usually I would say this means you're confident. That you take what you want," said Tom.

"That's right," said Draco.

"But that's not the case here, is it, Draco?" Tom pressed. "Look, for example, at young Harry over there. You don't see Harry interrupting everyone. He's spoke with her once, and there he is, laughing and enjoying a beer with his friends."

"And that's why he's going to lose," said Draco.

"Lose?" asked Tom. "Are we playing a game, or are we dating the most eligible bachelorette in all wizardry?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "What's the difference, really?" Tom didn't reply, simply nodded and walked away. "Hey, hold on, you. What's your game?" Tom turned back to him and winked. Draco drew his wand. Everyone in the vicinity was watching them.

Gilderoy Lockhart apparated onto the scene clinking a champagne glass. "Time for the rose ceremony! Assemble in the hall, please!" He saw Draco's wand and frowned. "Put that away, Mr...erm...I forget the names."

"Draco Malfoy," said Draco, slipping his wand under his suit sleeve.

"Draco. Right. Heheh, sure am glad I didn't let slip what I was thinking! To the hall!"

The men gathered, and Hermione passed out roses. To everyone's dismay, both Draco and Tom received them, as well as Justin, Zach, Colin, Neville, Harry, Ron, Lee, and Severus. Marcus Flint was sent home.

MARCUS CAM: "It's been real. I definitely have no grudge against Hermione, and I trust she will make a good choice."

Gilderoy Lockhart sat in the one-on-one camera room with a mimosa. "I just can't remember anyone's name. So everyone has a nickname in my head."

"What's Draco's?" asked the cameraman.

"Who?" asked Gilderoy. The cameraman opened a binder and flipped to Draco's picture. He held it up for Gilderoy. "Oh, Bratty McBratface," said Gilderoy.

The cameraman turned to Harry's picture. "Scarface," said Gilderoy.

Ron. "Oh, I know him! That's Bill Weasley."

Neville. "I've never seen this person before in my life."

Snape. "Ew." But what do you call him? "Ew. Just Ew."

Oliver. "Mr. Quidditch Man."

Colin. "Paparazzi."

Lee. "Comic Relief."

Tom. "Psychopath."

Justin. "Smart Hufflepuff."

Zach. "Dumb Hufflepuff."

Dean. "Black Seamus."

Seamus? "White Dean. Obviously."