Hey guys how are you doing?
Okay so firstly, a Good News : I WON THE FIRST PLACE IN FSOG TOP 5 FAN FICTIONS FOR THE MONTH OF SEPTEMBER! YAAAYYY!
Now, secondly : We have a new character in The Cinder. But he isn't new, he is from The Brooke. Even I had forgotten him until he came to talk to me :-
Troy : Hey Kaishi, what's up?
Kaishi : Who are you?
Troy : You don't remember me? You created me! I'm Christian's ex-roommate...from Georgia!
Kaishi : Ah! The one who's girlfriend hooked up with Christian?
Troy *throws a look* : Shut up, that bastard seduced her! Anyway, I think you owe me?
Kaishi : Huh.. Excuse me?
Troy : If I hadn't kicked out Christian he wouldn't have gotten the chance to be Ana's roommate.
Kaishi *sighs* : Alright what you want?
Troy : A wild card entry in The Cinder...
Kaishi : What? Why? What would be your role?
Troy : Oh it's going to be a very significant role. I can provide them the answers they're looking for *smirks the evil smirk*...
6
Christian
White light exploded behind my eyes, making my vision go blind.
A slicing pain shot between my temples as if someone had hit me with a hammer at my skull.
I doubled over, clutching my head in my hands. Like somehow pressing it would make it all disappear.
My name was called out repeatedly from what seemed like miles away.
It was the voice I'd recognize anywhere. It was the voice that would stop me in middle of anything.
Yet this time, it couldn't stop what was coming over.
Dizziness swept through me like tumultuous waves crashing and eroding the shoreline.
With each wave, a harsh memory was thrown at me.
I sucked in a breath and squeezed my eyes shut, wanting the memory to go away.
I had somehow locked it away for almost five years, but being here, seeing these paintings…I couldn't keep it locked away anymore.
They grabbed at me, coiling around me like a snake.
No matter how hard I tried I couldn't break their hold.
My heart thundered in my chest, pounding the blood through my veins so fast that I felt sick.
The bedroom walls seemed to spin crazily, closing around me. Suffocating me.
The Brooke.
Brooke Mountain High School.
Christopher and I had gone there.
Our parents had been so happy; they had bought us a set of the newest version of X-Box with all upgraded accessories.
We had tried to sneak our games with our luggage.
Marks had driven us to the school. Caught our gaming gadgets.
The first day of BMHS, we were punished.
The timetable.
The French Class.
I had known Anastasia. Shit! We had shared a fucking class.
The First Lesson.
The assembly hall.
The gleaning.
Christopher had left for Glean Center.
The tortures, the punishments.
Brandon had been with me in the Swimming Club.
The time machine.
Fuuuuucckk! I remembered the time machine.
I couldn't take it anymore.
My pulse pounded in my head. So loud, I thought it would almost burst out of me.
I tried to get myself in control, holding my breath in fear of the sounds that were escalating from deep within my throat.
This... this couldn't be happening to me.
I couldn't have done this. It couldn't be me.
The storm began to lift up, clearing my vision and my hearing as it slowly left me.
Somehow I was sitting in a chair, though I hadn't moved from I was standing earlier.
The paintings were still lying on the floor below me.
One of those paintings had changed my entire life.
It had destroyed me.
I couldn't stomach to look at any painting anymore.
My gaze lifted up.
Meeting hers straight away.
Ana was kneeling in front of me.
Bloody fucking kneeling! In front of me. The lowlife scum.
The pathetic loser who couldn't help himself.
I had stupidly promised to protect her when I couldn't even protect my-fucking-self.
Tears like beads of precious pearls ran down her face, dropping my heart into my stomach.
She was crying for me. She was hurting for me.
I didn't deserve it.
Looking at her concerned face, her devoted hurtful gaze, I couldn't stand it anymore.
My throat tightened, disallowing me to breathe anymore.
Not that I deserved to breathe.
A sore loser like me who had been unable to defend himself, unable to help others around him, didn't deserve to live.
I was a failure.
I had failed everyone in my life.
My parents who thought one of their sons had run away.
My brother who I was supposed to be within every step.
My best friend who I was supposed to protect and failed multiple times.
And yet she was here. With me. Sleeping with me, crying and hurting for me.
Motherfucker! I was such a failure.
Thousands of emotions pounced at me but I grabbed the one I was most familiar with.
The one which was easier to obtain than others.
Fury.
I grabbed at fury.
Let it roll over me, wash away anything left inside me, making me a hollow man with a furious need to get away from here.
I was just so damn furious.
At myself. The Brooke. Those fucking fuckwits.
I was furious for what Anastasia had gone through. For what Christopher had gone through.
They had not only hurt me but the two people who mattered the world to me.
They had to fucking die.
My anger, my rage wasn't abstained upon them solely.
It was redirected back onto me.
"C... baby, please say something," Ana begged.
She fucking begged while sitting on her knees.
Millions of splinters formed into my chest where my heart once used to be.
Unable to take this anymore, I stood up.
Hot anger froze into every particle of my being, making me cold from within.
Heat turned into ice.
I became unemotional, unfeeling.
Anastasia's hands fell away from where she had placed them on my knees. Lifting her wet eyes, she stared at me, trying to decipher how to approach me.
I didn't care.
I had to get away from her.
She was the only one who could break into my icy fortress.
I couldn't allow that.
Thus, for the second time, I broke my promise to her of never leaving.
I turned my back upon her and walked towards the door. My jaws and fists clenching as I did so.
There was almost an invisible force pulling at me. Urging me to turn back at stay with her.
But I couldn't.
I just couldn't.
My hand reached to turn the knob of the door when someone grabbed my shoulder from my behind.
From the heavyweight, I knew it wasn't Anastasia.
Please dear God, if you exist... let it be Brandon.
I didn't know if I could control myself if it wasn't Brandon.
Muttering one last prayer I turned sideways to look at my intruder.
Of course, God didn't listen to me.
Or maybe he just didn't exist if all this has been done to us.
Because it wasn't Brandon who had stopped me. Neither it was Anastasia as I had acknowledged five seconds back.
It was him.
The cocksucking cunt.
My hand flew away before I could even think what I was doing and hit him straight in his face.
My knuckles stung with the force that came behind it and the shit-eating fucker landed on the floor.
Any other time, I would've to regret hitting him so hard.
He was my friend. I had considered him to be my friend.
Any other time, I would've cringed at the dull thud his back made as it met the ground.
But right now I was livid with coldness. Frost had formed and made its home in me.
I didn't feel a single ounce of remorse for hitting the fucktwat.
"What the hell!" Brandon stood up from where he was sitting. His eyes wide in shock.
Somewhere towards my right, I heard her exclaiming as well. "Oh, my god! Jose!"
"Stay away Ana." Fuckwit said to her while cupping his bleeding nose. "It's okay, I deserve it."
I didn't wait for her to turn to me.
Without wasting another second I walked out of the room, out of the house.
My feet carrying me into my own direction.
Wanting to go away from people, from life, I went in the opposite direction of the Bourbon Street.
I wanted to be isolated. Alone. Alienated.
That was the only way I could deal with all the raging emotions I had locked inside me.
That was the only way I could let the iciness spread into my whole being.
That was the only way I could deal with everything my mind had thrown on me.
All those memories.
I remembered everything.
And I felt like shit for not believing Anastasia in the first place.
Another weight to be carried upon my conscience.
My teeth gritted so hard in rage, I was almost sure they were going break.
Not looking at anything or anywhere or anyone I continued walking.
Hoping for the fresh air to undo what had been just done to me.
The unusual sheen of pain burned behind my eyes, threatening to come out like a fucking tsunami.
I refused to let it make its way out.
This shit was already too much without me swapping into a pussy.
I will not cry.
I will not cry.
Recreating the mantra over and over I kept walking to a destination unbeknownst to me.
"Christian.."
My steps halted in their wake. Before my brain could even process who it was, my body had already reacted.
Just like it was done.
I had no control over me when it came to her.
She owned me and she didn't even realize it.
Anastasia was walking towards me.
Somehow I had turned and was walking towards her as well.
Like I said, I had no control when it came to her.
I willed myself to stop, to not go to get when everything in me screamed to take her in my arms.
Let her soft body provide me the comfort I was suddenly craving for.
But I couldn't. Not without breaking.
With a force that almost hurt my head, I stopped moving.
Not walking but moving. All together.
I just stopped.
"Christian-"
"Not now Anastasia!" I cut her off angrily. Her name came out much harsher than I had wanted.
So harsh that she flinched.
Fuck! Why was it so difficult to breathe all of sudden?
Why did it feel like someone had ripped out my heart from my chest?
I didn't like feeling these strange emotions. I couldn't deal with then right now.
Or maybe ever.
"Just leave me alone. Give me some space." I said in a steady voice.
Being the stubborn Anastasia I knew she was, she came forward with her arms beginning to spread out.
I knew what her action meant. She was intending to hug me.
To embrace me. Let her body slam against mine.
I recoiled.
She stopped. Her face crumpled into a mixture of hurt and agony.
Dammit!
I couldn't keep doing this to her. I couldn't keep hurting her. I needed to get away.
"Please, Anastasia. " I said in a softer tone. "Let me be alone for some time. It's too much. Please."
The desperate pleading in my tone must have gotten to her.
She didn't say anything.
Just gave me a stiff nod while fighting her tears.
As I was fighting my own.
Then I spun and walked away from her for the third time.
I should've never made her a promise like that.
By the way, I proving to be a worthless shit, I should've never made a promise to anyone.
I was a liar.
A pathetic lowlife.
I couldn't even wallow to give in self-pity and cry about the wrongs done to me. To all of us.
The night turned darker as I walked ahead.
"Christian?" It wasn't Anastasia who called out for me this time.
Neither Brandon nor that fucker Jose.
But the voice... I couldn't believe who I had heard.
My brows shot up, mouth dropped open as I gaped at him, wondering what he was doing here.
"Troy?"
He gave me a strange smile. "Thought it was you."
Troy was my ex-roommate. I had been living with him in his apartment off-campus before he had kicked me out.
Because of his drunken girlfriend making a pass on me and being the asshole I was to oblige, Troy had told me to leave his place.
Unable to find any suitable place to stay, I had finally asked Kate for help.
My ex-girlfriend, still a good friend and Anastasia's dorm roommate.
Because she was staying with her boyfriend, she had offered me her room and begged Anastasia not to report on me.
That was how I had met Anastasia.
But what I couldn't comprehend was that what the heck was Troy doing here?
"I'm sorry Christian."
"What?"
His response was to pick up a rod that wasn't there in his hand a second before and aim it to hit me before I could blink.
His bad luck, I was faster.
Quickly moving out of the way before his rod could come in contact with me, I ducked and went straight for an upper-cut.
My hit met its target dead-on as I punched below his chin and then smashing my skull against his nose.
It was an effective move. The skull thing. I had learned that from Anastasia and her dreamy-half-asleep-Jackie-Chan moves.
Troy was the second person that day to go down with his hand cupping his bleeding nose.
Usually, I wasn't such a violent person but today was just getting on my nerves.
"What the fuck Troy. What were you-" I stopped mid-speech as a cold dreadful realization poured over me.
The similar scene played behind my eyes of Jack hitting Anastasia with a rod.
"Jesus Christ! You're with them. You belong to them! You are the Brooke's bitch." I snarled.
"I'm not. I got feelings. "
"What the fuck you're talking about?"
His hand went to his wrist and I jumped upon him, strangling him and grabbing both his hands.
"Oh no, you don't. Make one move, breathe once in the wrong way and you'll regret it."
I knew what he was about to do.
Jack had done the same thing when I had hit him with the same rod he had attacked Ana with.
Disappear into thin air while afterward people would forget his existence.
"I won't do that Christian. I had too much here to leave. My career, my college. I can't leave Georgia and go to them."
"Shut up. Don't try to mess with me. You got me on the wrong day Troy. Or is that even your real name?" Bitterness dripped from my tone.
"Troy is my real name and I know it's not a good day for you. You remember everything. That's why I have been sent to deal with you."
"Deal with me how? Giving me a temporary amnesia like you did with Anastasia?"
God, he had been on us all along. He had been right there in the corridor when it had happened.
He shook his head. Blood seeping through his nose, down to his mouth.
"That wasn't supposed to happen. Jack didn't hit her right."
Rage strained my muscles. "What the fuck do you mean he didn't hit her right?" I screamed at him.
"Jack messed up. He was supposed to hit her at the place to make her unstable. So that she would be committed away."
The hair on my arms stood up. "And no one would believe her story because she would be labeled insane. The Brooke would remain clandestine." I said.
Just like the girl in the asylum at Elgin. The one Ana had been researching.
His nod confirmed my theory.
"How could you? You have been with me for almost two years. We used to live together!"
"I'm sorry Christian. I really am. This is the price I had to pay for my fatal mistake."
"What mistake?"
"I developed feelings. I wasn't supposed to. I was supposed to be their perfect robot, keep a watch on you, report them and go back to Alaska."
He let out a dry sob as he continued.
"I met you and the other guys and Diana. I started feeling. I didn't want to leave Georgia. Headmaster had threatened to re-condition me if I didn't come back."
"Jesus, Troy." I knew what he exactly meant by 're-condition'.
I had spent my life in that hell-hole long enough to know that.
"So I made a deal, I'll keep watching you and prevent you from remembering anything about The Brooke. And if you did, I- I had to do it."
He meant hit me on my head hard enough to make me unstable.
It made sense now. Why Jack had cursed after hitting Ana and tried hitting her again.
Like Troy said, he had messed up.
But now so had Troy. He had failed to make me invalid too.
"What will they do to you now?" I asked him.
I didn't know why I cared. He was just like Jack.
Maybe it was because I had known him for a longer time.
Maybe it was because I had lived with him for months and I knew him.
His habits, his lame jokes, his love for playing chess. He did have feelings. No one could fake it so perfectly.
He was hurt when he had found Diana and I had hooked up.
"Wait. When you had kicked me out-"
"It wasn't the Brooke's order. That was all me. All my stupid feeling. But I didn't know you'll go and stay with her, Christian. I had tried making you come back to live with me several times when I found out."
He had. He had literally begged me to come and stay with him again.
But I had been so caught up with Ana, I hadn't wanted to leave her.
"You wanted us to be separate because you knew it could trigger some of our memories."
He nodded again.
"So what happens to you now? What will they do?" I asked him again.
"They'll send me back in training or worse drop me in Pinnacle Race. The best thing right now for me would be if you to kill me."
I cringed.
How could I kill him? Even if he was the traitor and the Brooke's watchdog he had been my friend.
Another one who had betrayed me.
That's twice in a day, Grey. Good going.
Suddenly I got an idea.
"How long have you been in BMHS?"
"I had graduated from there. Then came to Georgia. I was assigned to watch over you."
"When was the last time you were there?"
"The first year's Christmas break."
Almost a year and a half. But it will have to do.
He knew the insides better than Jose who hadn't been there in five years.
"You're going to help us and I'll promise to not let them take you away."
He snorted then winced in pain. "They won't stop if they get to know I have messed up."
"There has to be a way to keep them in dark."
"There isn't Christian. They have eyes and ears all around. Now after Jack's fuck up, they have backups also."
"You could go off the grid. Disappear in plain sight."
He let out a hoarse laugh. "This ain't some Mafia shit you're dealing with, Grey. This is worse. They are worse. They are your fucking nightmares."
"There has to be somethi-"
A loud shriek stopped my words.
Not just any shriek.
It was a sound that made my heart stop beating and fear take its place in my blood.
A sense of dread and pressure began building in my chest.
Another scream.
From her. Anastasia.
I became immobile for a second before jumping onto my feet.
"What is that Troy?" I asked, barely controlling myself.
"I told you. Back-up."
Rage exploded from me.
I kicked at his temple so hard I was sure I had knocked him into next week.
He lay like the dead but I didn't even pause to see if he was alright.
Nothing mattered right now except getting to Anastasia.
She was in trouble. She needed me.
And once again I had turned away from her. Left her alone in danger.
I hated myself.
Following the direction from which her scream had come I ran at the speed of light.
Taking a turn into a narrow street I didn't even know I had crossed earlier, my sight landed upon Brandon first.
He was kneeling down on the ground while someone behind him was running away.
Away from Brandon.
Then my eyes darted to where Brandon was kneeling on the ground, crouched over something.
Someone.
The time stopped.
There, lying on the hard road, with her limbs sprawled across was Anastasia.
And she wasn't moving.
Fury and horror slammed into me like a punch to the chest.
No.
Oh no.
For a moment, I didn't even see the road in front of me. The horror nearly consumed me.
It felt like Déjà vu.
Seeing her lying, unmoving down there brought the memories of the time Jack had hit her.
Rage tasted like metal in the back of my throat.
"Anastasia? Anastasia?" Brandon tried shaking her but she didn't respond.
I shot to her side, dropping to my knees.
Her eyes were closed, she wasn't moving or responding to her name.
Raw panic exploded in my gut.
I pulled her into my arms, she felt as light as a breath. I didn't like that.
I didn't like any of this.
"Ana, babe. Wake up."
Nothing.
She didn't move.
Terror climbed through my chest, digging in with claws.
"What happened here?" I asked Brandon, not moving my gaze away from Ana.
"You both have been gone for a while so I came out looking for you. I found Anastasia, we were talking when someone passed by and she freaked out. She attacked him and he- he pushed her hard and she fell. She was out cold."
Jesus. This was not good for her concussion.
Given that it had been months, but this was definitely not good.
She didn't move.
I cradled her body closer to me as I stood up with her in my arms.
"Where's Jose."
"Back in the condo. I gave him some ice for his bruise."
"There is a guy across that alley. He was sent by the Brooke. Make sure he is tied up, especially his hands away from each other. Knock him again if you have to but make sure he doesn't regain consciousness until Ana wakes up."
"Alright. Will do that." He agreed. "Here, take the keys of the front door. Take her to my room."
He handed me the keys.
"Thanks, man. I'll send Jose to help you out. You both can dump him into Jose's car for all I care."
With that I moved rapidly towards the house, carrying Anastasia gently.
There were no visible wounds or any bleeding but I had to check her thoroughly to make sure.
If only I hadn't left her alone when she had come looking for me.
If only I hadn't walked out of the condo.
This would have never happened.
This happened because of me.
Anastasia got hurt because of me.
I felt like I had been kicked in my balls.
My eyes landed upon her still form, her pale face.
If something happened to her...
The Brooke was going to pay.
It was still going to pay for everything it had done to her.
What all she had gone through.
What all had Christopher and I and others have gone through.
I hadn't understood the depth of her need for vengeance before.
But now I did.
Anastasia had been right.
They had to pay.
For everything they had done to us, they had to pay back thousand-folds.
"C..."
My eyes flew to her face.
She was looking at me with her barely opened eyes and calling me out.
Relief slammed into me so powerful, it felt painful.
But I'd take this pain million times on me of it meant keeping her safe.
"You okay babe?"
"Yeah. C, he was- he looked like Jack." She croaked out.
"Shh. I know. But you need to rest. Everything's going to be okay, my cinder. I got you."
"You do?"
"Yes, babe. I've got you. I am never letting you go."
She smiled faintly. "Don't leave me again." She said before she passed out on me again.
Leaving me awake to gather my crumpled parts.
My knees felt suddenly weak.
I wouldn't have kept hold of myself if it weren't for Ana in my arms and the risk of dropping her.
Her words had left my soul bare.
"I'm sorry Ana. I can't tell you how much I mean that." I whispered to her knowing she won't hear me.
I didn't deserve her in a thousand years.
Patience...! You'll get all your answers, my dear readers.
JUST DO NOT FORGET TO REVIEW AND I WILL POSSIBLE BE UPLOADING A NEW CHAPTER BY THE NEXT WEEK ;)
Love ya all,
Kaishi Springs xoxo