Last chapter might seem a bit confusing, wtf, and unexpectedly disappointing to many of you. Bt guys, just stay with me! Remember, patience is always rewarded and since this story is a suspense- yu can't expect all chapters to make sense till you reach the ending right? Enjoy Reading, and do not forget to review!

CHAPTER DEDICATION : meadowswift13

9.

Anastasia

No, I wasn't feeling angry.

Nope. Not at all.

This man, who fucked me then grew cold towards me and was avoiding me, had decided for me to go on a vacation.

While we had just discovered another freaking dimension with insane people working there to bring our country down.

When we had just found out there were more ugly secrets lying in the Brooke and the real intent behind them.

He thought what exactly? That I was too weak or fragile to be involved in this?

Mia had said he called her earlier today.

But he had been with us throughout the day. First interrogating Troy, then coming here.

Even if there were a few minutes I might not have been paying attention to him, it wasn't like Mia could just barge in here with all my stuff packed.

She had gone to Georgia first, from California, and then come to New Orleans.

That meant Christian had called her before Troy told us everything.

When things were still under control according to us, when we didn't know how big this all was.

He had decided to send me away then only.

He had decided for me.

And who the fuck was he to make decisions for me?

My best friend who has walked away from me countless times? Or the guy who had fucked me and then downright ignored me?
Who said I was angry?

I wasn't angry.

Nope, not at all.

I was just being deported out of my own country to go on a vacation while he handles everything like a man.

I am just a woman, how could I take part in dangerous missions, right?

I had been through too much. I couldn't take it anymore. Pity me.

I was in danger and he was miraculously not? Even after he remembered everything?

From the looks of the other people on the table, only Brandon was a little surprised.

More like amused.

I didn't think for a single second that he would object me going away.

Whether it was because he didn't want to interfere or he was being the asshole chauvinistic-chivalrous guy like Christian, I didn't care.

Jose held no surprise on his face, Mia didn't ask the reason or took my stand as I expected her to.

Christian didn't look like he made an impulsive decision.

A strange type of hurt settled inside me as I realized what this meant.

They had been thinking about this for a while.

My friends had been thinking of expelling me from fighting against the monsters we all have faced together.

No, I was not angry.

Nope. Not. At. All. Angry.

I was fucking livid!

Enraged.

Incensed.

Wrathful.

Frenzied.

The fury that came within me, boiling like an active volcano about to explode, shook through my core.

I was pretty sure if I went to the Brooke like this, they would not be defeating me anytime soon through any race.

I could murder a thousand Cody's like this. I could murder Christian too maybe.

It wouldn't really surprise me if I suddenly turned all big and green.

Yeah, I was that much angry.

My chair shook along with my body, fine tremors shooting down visibly.

The thin sheen of sweat formed on my forehead, my hands trembled.

I had never felt such intensity of anger. The betrayal was too much.

Maybe I should've seen their intentions. They wanted me safe.

Christian wanted me away from the danger. I should've appreciated his protectiveness towards me.

But I knew he was in danger too, I wasn't banishing him from going back to The Brooke.

Throughout the years, starting from when my parents had died, I had taken everything that was thrown at me.

I have fought and fought hard.

I never bent to anyone's will. Never bowed in front of anyone.

Torture. Rape. Death.

I went through all this, lived through all this.

Yes, I broke down several times but I wasn't damaged.

Yes, I needed support at times. Mia, Christopher, Jose, Brandon, Lucy, and Christian have supported me when I wasn't enough for myself.

But I had never backed down, never ran away from any problem.

That was what made strong. Resilient. Fearless.

And now my friends wanted me to leave, run away. Christian wanted to fight on my behalf.

I couldn't appreciate it. I resented it in fact.

Because he was stripping me of my rights to face the situations and fighting them.

Of all the people, I thought Christian would understand the need for revenge in me. The need to fight back and do the right thing.

Especially after his memories had returned and he would now know the depth of it.

But each hour, each minute, each second, he was drifting further and further away from me. His walls were up high and strong, refusing to crumble down.

His face was void of any emotion, body straight with icy posture. But his eyes was what gave him away.

His eyes always gave him away. I had grown to read the weather of my personal sky like a pro.

The gray swirls in the blue hinted the pain, the fear while the bright blue glowed in determination.

He was scared of my reaction, just as he should be. Sending me away would hurt him. But he would also remain undaunted about it.

Who did he think he was? Who did they all think they were?

Making a decision about my life without telling me? Stripping me away of my right? Sending me away when I wanted to stay here?

These were my friends. They had to understand this, right?

I wasn't sheltering anyone. Because I knew that we were in this together.

Then why were they doing this to me? Why was he doing this to me?

Didn't he want me anymore?

The anger came to an abrupt hall. Stilling in the pits of the fire that had started within me.

A new emotion swam along with the thought of being unwanted.

It had no name. Only pain, agony, distraught and misery. Accompanied by sadness.

It was too strong, to rigidly growing inside me.

Like a rubber band being stretched to its full limit.

I squeezed my eyes shut. Attempting to block out the painful feeling that went through me, leaving a dull ache wherever it went in my body.

This is too much. I can't handle this. Not from my own friend.

Not from him. My C will never do this to me. What went wrong?

I can't... I can't do this anymore.

"Anastasia." He croaked out my name. Like he knew what I was feeling, his voice sounded pained too.

Maybe my face showed my emotions too clearly. Unlike him, I couldn't master the art of deception.

The art of betrayal.

The art of walking away.

But this time, I would. If that's what they want, then fine. I would leave. I would walk away.

With one last look around the table as I met every pair of eye, pausing on the blue-grey ones a bit longer, I grabbed the car keys Mia had dropped on the table in front of her and barged out.

I did what they wanted me to do. I walked away. I left him.

And I tried so hard not to cry, but my tears were stubborn like me.

They demanded to leak out of my eyes and trail in a hot, salty passage down my face.

They demanded to be tasted by my own lips, to taste the betrayal I was feeling along with them.

They demanded to be felt. To acknowledge the hurt that was being nursed with their flow.

"Anastasia." A hand grabbed my wrist from behind.

The rubber band snapped.

Turning around, before anyone could blink, my hand came up and whipped across his face.

The loud splat resonated throughout the walls of the restaurant.

A pin drop silence followed the slap.

People must be looking at us, I realized. Looking forward to some drama.

Well, guess what?

I.

Didn't.

Give.

A.

Damn.

Fuck!

Christian's face was turned ninety degrees towards his right from the force of my slap.

I thought it would make me feel better, at least lessen some of the anguish I was feeling.

But that didn't happen.

Somehow I felt worse. Like I was the one who had been slapped, not the who slapped.

He didn't look shocked or surprised by my action. He accepted it without any delay. Like he was expecting it for quite a while.

Christian closed his eyes as if soaking through the pain that must have been caused by my hit. Resignation dulled his eyes, his arms hung at his sides.

He could've dodged it. I realized that as he looked back at me. His jaw was loose and posture stooped as if waiting for another slap.

"Don't. You wanted me to go away and that's what I'm doing. I'm leaving you. And I am not coming back! Ever."

Each word I spat at him was filled with venom and heartache.
I wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurting.

But he already looked like he was hurting so, so much more.

He looked like he wanted to stop me but also didn't.

He looked like he wanted to crumble me into his arms but also not.

He looked like he couldn't bear me leaving him but he also wouldn't stop me.

And that was what broke me.

That he wouldn't stop me.

After all that we had been through, all the horrific things we had survived together, all those times we had been there for each other.

He was letting me go. Just like that. In fact, he was the one sending me away.

Not able to bear this anymore, I opened the doors and stormed out.

The life of party and carelessness greeted me outside.

Bourbon Street was living to the fullest. People were drinking and dancing and enjoying their lives while mine was shattering once again.

I wondered how many more times could I rise from the Hell.

My throat ached, my composure wavering, everything in me demanded to just fall down and let me dwell into self-pity.

With staggering steps I moved forward, the trembling in my legs making it tough do to so.

Someone came behind me, catching up to me. I twisted to see it was Mia.

I wasn't sure if I was above from slapping her too. She knew me as well as Christian if not better.

As had nurtured me throughout the years, been my mother, my aunt, my sister and my very own conscience.

How could she expect me to walk away from all this? How could she expect me to not fight back?

Lucky for her that she didn't speak. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was acting smart.

But I knew she had seen the consequences of stopping me now. Probably the whole Restaurant had.

Guilt stabbed me for humiliating Christian like that.

I pushed it back to the deepest corners. Now was not the time to deal with it.

Mia walked beside me quietly. She didn't say a single word. Perhaps she knew that I was not to mess with at the moment.

We walked and walked while I had no idea where we were going. Was Mia following me or I was following her? I didn't know that either.

Just that we walked for several blocks, letting the cheerful sounds around us reverberate in the atmosphere.

Keeping our fucked up emotions within ourselves.

"The car's over there." She pointed out after what seemed like hours but I knew were only minutes.

We walked over another block to her car and I settled inside without making any noise.

Guess I was sulking.

Not the most mature thing to do, but that was something which was in my control at the moment.

When my gaze wavered from the point on the dashboard I had been staring at for God knows how long, I looked around me.

The Bourbon Street was left behind far off now. I had no idea where we were since neither Jose or Christian let me drive while coming here.

The GPS indicated we were on some highway, still in Louisiana though.

On the backseat, sure enough, there was my traveler bag filled with my clothes.

Seeing it only soured my mood further.

How was the heck I going to go to Barbados with everything going on here?

"I had to pack, you know. In case hot-shot came to drop you till the car, or drive you to the airport altogether."

I frowned at her, not really getting what she meant.

Glancing at my expression she rolled her eyes, her gaze back to the windshield.

Mia was always a careful driver. So careful that she rarely crossed over fifty's.

Which was a pity with the car she drove. If I had a second generation Saab 9-3, I'd be speeding it all around.

"You idiot, do you see any ticket around in my hand? Any passport? Or even my stuff? Anything indicating that we're actually going to Barbados?"

"Huh?" I sat staring at her dumbfounded.

I thought her luggage would be in the trunk of the car. And the tickets and all other documents in her purse.

"I can't go to Barbados without my passport." I mumbled.

For some reason, I felt even dumber saying that out loud.

But I wasn't really getting what she was saying.

"I have your passport in your bag. In case Christian asked for it."

"Why would he ask for it?"

"I don't know, to make sure you have everything ready to leave for the trip?"

"Okay, so why don't you have your stuff or documents with you?"

"Because I knew he wouldn't bother checking mine."

This confused me further. She was stating obvious facts here but not indicating the meaning behind them.

Was she in the mood to play riddles? Or maybe distract me from going my woeful mood?

"Anastasia Steele, use your mind. You really think I'll take you to Barbados? That we'll be chilling out there with cocktails in our hand wearing bikinis while the boys indulge into an action sequence here?"

My jaw dropped open. "We aren't going to Barbados?"

"Nope. You silly girl."

"Then where are we going?"

"Wherever you say." She smirked.

I shook my head. "I'm not really getting you, Mia."

"What I'm trying to say is, screw those sexist bastards back there, rock this whole feminist team and do our own investigation." She winked.

In that moment I loved her more than Christian.

Wait, not that I loved him AT ALL.

I mean the friendly love. The best friendly love.

Not the love love. As in the in love, love.

Of course, I wasn't in love with an asshole who turned his back on me, ignored me and banished me.

I wasn't sure if I even loved him as a friend now.

Hate would be more apt to define what I was feeling for him right now.

Maybe too strong of a word, but yeah it was better than love.

So anyway, back to the topic... I couldn't believe what Mia was saying.

"Are you saying that I should continue with my plan of going against the Brooke?"

"Yes. And I'm saying I'm with you. I trust you, Ana, you are a little reckless but not suicidal. You'll do the right thing and I'll be here to support you." She finished her little heart-winning speech with a cheeky smile.

"Mia Adams, will you marry me?"

She fawned in a fake British accent. "I thought you'd never ask me, mah' darling."

We both laughed, the air around us growing lighter by every second.

I didn't need to rely on anyone when I had her. It was almost like five years ago.

She had been my everything then. My family, best friend and almost close to a boyfriend if you cut out the sexual attraction.

We could still grow close together, it might not be like it was back then, but I guess that was normal.

Our situation might not be normal, but the process was.

Everyone matured over time, changed in certain ways. Teenage friendships going through adulthood should never be expected to remain the same.

Like always came in between and changed us, making us see things in different light.

Mia and I had reconnected after so long, it would be considered a rare luck.

I would cherish our bond and... like she said, we'd rock Team Feminist.

"So do you have any place in mind to start over from?" She asked.

I nodded. "Elgin. Illinois."

She gave me a sly smile. "Get ready for a sexy road trip, girl."

Pushing the clutch, she changed the gears. The car went into eighty's.

Nice.

A day later, sometime in the afternoon, we reached Elgin Mental Health Center.

It was a pleasant seventeen-hour journey.

We didn't stop anywhere. Not giving Christian and others any chance to catch up with us, in case they had found out the truth.

I was still angry at him.

We ate dinner from McDonald's drive-thru.

I was embarrassed to admit that this was probably my first road trip ever.

I had traveled from Iowa to Georgia via air and those two were the only places I had ever been to.

Now in the past five days I had gone from Atlanta to New Orleans and now to Illinois.

Hunting for clues to go against the Brooke wasn't proving to be that bad.

So far.

I slept peacefully while Mia drove for the first three hours and then we switched, taking turns like that.

She let me drive her car. That too a Sab. That too a 9-3. That too a second generation 2013 model.

Silver color.

Hah. Take that Jose.

And double take that Christian!

We girls didn't need those narcissistic idiotic asses.

Both of us were well slept and well eaten by the time we reached the hospital.

The only strange thing happened was Mia taking an en-route from St. Louis to Columbia in Missouri. She said it would be faster.

Well, since it was my first time traveling state to state, she might be knowing better.

Early in the morning Mia and I had decided upon a little competition.

We had to go at every McDonald's drive-thru on the way and eat three Big Macs.

Whoever quit first, lost.

Mia lost after we passed through the sixth one in Orlando Park.

She was only able to eat one while I hobbled down all three of mine. Then ate the remaining two of hers as well.

Right now, Mia was looking at me with such envy I was scared I'd gain all the pounds from all those Big Macs just from her glare.

But poor her, I didn't.

And I didn't want to gloat about it, but I was obvious on my face.

We passed the DO NOT PICK UP HITCHHIKERS sign board, which wasn't creepy at all, as we parked in near the center.

Honestly, I was expecting it to be a haunted-looking rotten building, but it looked just fine.

Well maintained and pretty beautiful.

The interiors were just as good. No scary patients scaring you, no spider webs, no black and white background with staff eyeing you.

It was just like any other institute.

Reaching the reception I spoke to the lady sitting there. "Hi, we're here to meet Dr. Anderson."

She glanced up at me, the Mia. "Do you have an appointment?"

"No. We actually wanted to meet one of her patients but we do not know her name or any detail."

"Your purpose of the meeting?"

I opened my mouth but Mia beat me to it. "I'm a psychology student from UCLA and we are here to research one of the patients."

The best I could do was not throw a questioning glance at her and nod at the receptionist.

"Is there any specific patient you want to meet?"

"Yes. I read her case over the internet. The call who talks about the Brooke."

"Ah! Ms. Mallory. Wait a second, I'll call up Dr. Anderson and if she is free, you can discuss it with her."

While she made the call, Mia and I stood next to the wall. Giving the receptionist some privacy.

Mallory. Her name was Mallory.

We may find something from her, we may find nothing.

But instincts told me I had to meet so her. So I would meet her. "What do we say to the doctor?" I asked Mia in a hushed tone.

"Don't tell the truth or they would admit you right here and right now. Just let me do the talking okay?"

I was more than okay with Mia taking the lead here. God knew how it would go if I started lying.

And Mia was right about not telling the truth.

Also, Mia was truly a psychology major, so she could converse better with the doctor.

Fifteen minutes later, Dr. Anderson came.

She was old, her whitish-gray here and fine wrinkles hinting her to be in her late sixties or early seventies.

But the proud way she carried herself, with her back straight and chin held high, a strong aura surrounded her.

I liked her instantly.

She smiled politely as she approached her, her attire completely professional yet welcoming.

After the necessary introductions, she led us to Mallory while Mia chatted with her, making an imaginary project.

Dr. Anderson asked where we're her thesis and research journals making me sweat, but Mia lied swiftly that this was just the initial visit and we were staying here for a while to observe Mallory.

I tuned out most of the conversation after that, scared that my nervous reactions might give us away.

Only listening again when they mentioned Mallory.

"She has improved a lot. Came a long way in four years. She is intact as stable as anyone can get."

"How long she would stay here?"

"Well, she was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and an unstable personality. As long as she remains stable, keeps taking her meds she can walk out anytime. I think she is scared to go out herself."

"Is that because of her schizophrenia?"

"Yes, it's one of the positive symptoms of the disorder. The Delusion of Persecution."

To my surprise, Mia actually took out her phone and opened her memo to take notes.

Either she was too much into the act, or really interested in Mallory's case.

Dr. Anderson continued. "She thinks people from this place called "The Brooke" are ours to get her. She believes that as long as she stays here she is safe."

A pinch of anger resurrected in me.

This girl, Mallory was saying the truth but they had no idea about it.

She was admitted as a schizophrenic person for telling the truth, for trusting people.

Jose was right. We couldn't tell this to anyone. Else we would be facing the consequences same as Mallory.

"She has this alternate reality built about a town named The Brooke where kids go on scholarships and the school turns out to be the demented version of Hogwarts."

Mia let out a forced chuckle at that, while my eyes blazed to snap the doctor's neck for making fun of this.

"So since how many years she's been here?"

"Almost three years. She was in her Junior High year when she was brought here. She used to scream all the "I remember." The poor child had a huge wound on her head."

Stay calm, Steele. Stay calm.

Once again I tuned out their conversations until we finally reached outside a wooden door.

"Oh and one more thing. She might tell you hear real name but do not call her by that. She tends to react violently."

I turned to the doctor. "Real name? Mallory isn't her real name?"

She shook her head. "No, it's her family name. But call her by that only. Best of luck."

With that, she opened the door to let us in.

The room was small and unlit but the sunlight falling from the French Windows brightened the room perfectly.

Mallory was sitting with her back to us facing towards the window, building a card house.

Her hair was cut in an uneven bob cut. Most likely by her.

Mia cleared her throat and spoke out in a very calmed voice. "Mallory? Hi, can we talk to you?"

Mallory stopped assembling the cards. Her focus diverting from the card house and landing on us as she turned to reveal her face.

Oh. Oh no.

Everything stilled around me as I came face to face with her.

She seemed to stop breathing herself too.

My heart splintered down into my stomach. Tears clawed my eyes.

A trembling started in her body as she gazed at me with her wide eyes.

She recognized me. Just as I recognized her.

"Mia?" Her voice sounded meek and hesitant. Disbelief shit through her face.

My heart was breaking for her. For what she must have been through.

I had Christian and Jose with me when I was attacked. But she was all alone. Committed to a mental asylum.

My beautiful, strong friend.

My companion from the Brooke. From the Pinnacle Race.

I couldn't not speak her real name. It came on to my tongue so effortlessly. Pain clear in my voice.

"Oh, Emily."

Yo, so those of you who thought the girl in metal-ward is Emily, you guys got it right ;)

DO NOT FORGET TO REVIEW.

I'll try my best to post the next chapter in this week. If not, then most definitely by next week. I know I'm a lot behind the schedule with you guys. So I'll try to make up to you. Plus I'm very excited for you all to read the upcoming chapters. Let me tell you, there is no breather. IT's all about action and thrill. Roller-coaster finally getting scary.

Love ya all,

Kaishi Springs xoxo.