Cho, Cedric, and Luna sat with Mr. and Mrs. Granger in the front row of the MBBC studio.
"So you think it's going to last?" Cho asked them.
"Oh, yes," said Mrs. Granger. "And I'm not just being biased. They seem much more equipped than a lot of the couples that come out of these things."
"It will be challenging," said Mr. Granger, "but they're smart kids, and they're committed."
"I'm so excited this is finally happening!" Cho squealed. "What a crazy last episode!"
"Oh, well, I can't say I'm too surprised that Harry lost his marbles when it came down to it," said Mrs. Granger. "He has some growing up to do yet. So does Neville, for sure, but, there is a difference."
"Those two still talk, you know?" Mr. Granger said. "All three of them went out last night."
"That is so funny," said Luna, "but I'm not surprised."
"That shit was cracking me up," said Cedric. "Have you seen the 'she said no' remix?"
"The what?" asked the Grangers.
"They'll probably show it," said Cedric. "If not, I'll show you later. Harry's a meme."
"A what?" Mr. Granger repeated.
He didn't get an answer, because the lights flickered. A spotlight fell on Gilderoy in his signature white suit. The audience applauded as expected. "Welcome, Bachelor Nation, to the MBBC studio! Tonight marks the end of another journey for love, and I think we all can agree, that Hermione and Neville found it." Lots of applause here. "It has been such a pleasure working with those two and watching their relationship grow in real time," said Gilderoy, "as well as getting to know Hermione's other suitors. Tonight we have of course the happy couple backstage, as well as our runner-up, Harry Potter." Applause and cheers for Harry. "How about that Harry Potter, huh?" More cheers for Harry. "Poor kid. Well, there will be a special announcement ahead, and we have not one but two surprise guests tonight. So who's ready to get started?" Applause and whoops. "Alright, let's bring out our Bachelorette, Hermione Granger!"
Hermione was wearing the red dress. Gilderoy hugged her and kissed her lightly on the cheek before she took her seat beside him. "Hermione," said Gilderoy, "you are still glowing!"
"You know, Gilderoy, I know it's been months, but it really does feel like it was yesterday," said Hermione. "And I don't just mean the proposal. I mean the whole thing."
Some laughter from the audience. "Hermione, your season took even longer to film, because we did have to take that break in the middle," Gilderoy pointed out.
"Yeah, but, I mostly black that part out," said Hermione. "It's just too painful to think about."
"Right, I can imagine," said Gilderoy.
"Although, that incident did bring me closer to the final three," said Hermione.
"Yeah, okay, you're right," said Gilderoy. "Ron, Neville, and of course Harry were central in that battle."
"Yeah, I honestly did take note of that," said Hermione. "This is not diminish the other men at all, but, when a girl's life is on the line, a girl notices certain things." Lots of laughter and applause.
"So, Hermione, every contestant who comes through here says that they learn about themselves," said Gilderoy. "What was your biggest take-away?"
"My biggest take-away...was probably that real love can happen in even the strangest of circumstances," said Hermione. Some audience members applauded at this.
"You were a skeptic," said Gilderoy.
"I was," said Hermione, "but I obviously can believe now that this can work. I guess I also learned...I pretty much had a checklist of what I thought my perfect man should be."
"And it wasn't Neville," said Gilderoy.
"No," said Hermione. "I mean, just look who I gave the first impression rose to!" Uncomfortable laughter. Gilderoy decided not to comment on that one. "Although I like to think that if we went back and Neville had spoken to me sooner, I'd have changed my mind!"
"Well, I think I can speak for everyone when I say you handled every situation that came your way with grace and dignity," said Gilderoy. "Now we're about to take a break, and when we come back, Harry is going to join us. I want to point out that this is not how we would usually do this. Usually we'd have Harry come out on his own and sort of vent his feelings before we'd have you two confront each other for the first time. But you guys are breaking all of the rules. I hear from your parents that you, Harry, and Neville have hung out together?"
The audience laughed and applauded. "Yeah," she said. "Only twice though."
"Twice?! Okay, well, I can't wait to discuss that and more with Harry, after the break!"
"Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! I'm here live with Hermione Granger, who I know can't wait to appear in public for the first time with her new fiance, Neville Longbottom. But first, Harry Potter. He was always a frontrunner and looked possibly poised to become Hermione's husband, until the worst case of cold feet we've ever seen set in. Ladies and gentlemen, Harry Potter!" Harry entered to applause from the audience. He sat down beside Hermione. She hugged him warmly. "This is weird," Gilderoy said. Everyone laughed. "So, Harry, am I to understand that you are third-wheeling on Hermione and Neville's dates?"
"NO!" Harry cried. "It's not like that! Okay, so, the first time we saw each other it was completely by accident. I was at Neville's."
"Stop," said Gilderoy. "What were you doing at your ex-girlfriend's fiance's house?"
"Well, I was getting there, Gilderoy!" Harry said.
"It's really not weird," said Hermione.
"I had to pick up herbs for a potion," said Harry. "And, usually I would go into Diagon Alley for that, but, my celebrity has increased to a really obnoxious level following this show, so, I've been getting my plants from Neville."
"I can relate to that," said Gilderoy. "Go on."
"So I pop in for herbs, and Hermione decides to pop in for, I can't remember why."
"Just because we're engaged," said Hermione.
"Right, that makes sense," said Harry. The audience was dying of laughter.
"And please tell me that was at least somewhat awkward," said Gilderoy.
"Yes," said Harry. "It was the first time I'd seen Hermione since Hallstatt. So Neville suggests we all sit down together for a spot of tea and clear the air."
"So what I'm hearing is, everything that usually happens here, right now, has already happened," said Gilderoy.
"Correct," said Harry. "And then it ended up being an enjoyable time when it was all said and done, so we decided to do it again sometime."
"Well, alright then," said GIlderoy. "So you two really are just friends now?"
"Yes," said Hermione.
"Well," said Harry.
"Oh gods, Harry, don't ruin it!"
"Well, hold on," said Harry. "I'm not going to say anything you haven't heard already. I do still kick myself for what happened on the show. And I think I will always wonder what might have been had I been able to pull myself together."
"No, I could say the same thing," agreed Hermione.
"Now my favorite moment from that episode," said Gilderoy, "and I think we can all agree, was when Harry finally went to confront you in your hotel room."
"That was weird," said Hermione.
"Let's watch," said Gilderoy.
The room darkened and everyone turned their attention to the screen. The remixed version of Harry's botched confrontation to Hermione played.
"This is my ringtone," Luna whispered.
When it was done, Gilderoy said, "so, thankfully, Hermione had already decided on Neville. Harry, just what was going through your head?"
"Fair question," said Harry. "Okay, so, I think it really starts for me back around Hawaii. Hermione was taking Ron, Neville, and Dean on their second one-on-ones. And I started wondering if it was worth it for me to still be there."
"So that's quite a bit before the end," said Gilderoy.
"Yes, but things were getting really real," said Harry. "My concern at the time was of course, the craziness with my personal life. I really wanted to revisit that with Hermione, to make sure she was okay with it, which she assured me she was. So I calmed down a bit, and the next two weeks were really great. We had hometowns and the fantasy suite. I...I kinda got the feeling that I was looking for a way out. I suppressed that, and I enjoyed myself, and I loved her, and there was really no logical reason for me to feel like I should go home, or that I shouldn't want to marry her. So I just kept thinking that the feeling would go away. But when it came down to me and Neville, it just wasn't fair anymore, to either of us."
"So, was it that you just weren't ready for the commitment, or...?"
"Definitely not," said Harry.
"Well," said Gilderoy, "you know many people want you to be the next Bachelor." Cheers and applause from the audience.
"And I think that is an absolutely terrible idea," said Harry. "I was obviously in over my head before. Why would it be okay to put me back into that situation?"
"Well, if I may," said Hermione, "I think it's probably completely different being in my position than it was being in yours. You'll have the power, you'll have 25 different girls, and you grow up fast. You're getting a whole lot of dating experience all at once, and it works."
"Something to consider," said Gilderoy.
"I still think it's best if I stay away," said Harry.
"I figured you might say that," said Gilderoy. "So...Ron Weasley?"
Ron walked on stage to a standing ovation. Harry about lost his mind. "RON!" he cried.
"Hey, mate!" said Ron. Ron and Harry bro-hugged.
"Just to be clear, this is the first time they're seeing each other," said Gilderoy.
"Alright," said Ron, "so, my man, I hear you're everyone's first choice to be the next Bachelor."
"Which is a terrible idea," said Harry.
"I agree," said Ron, "so I'm going to cut you a deal. I will take your place as the Bachelor, if you take my place in Paradise."
"Paradise?" Harry asked. "What's that?"
"Well, Harry, I'm glad you asked!" Gilderoy said. "ROLL THAT PARADISE TAPE!" The room when dark, and the same spot that had played at "The Men Tell All" played here. The audience cheered. "What do you think?" asked Gilderoy. "Should he do it?"
The audience's cheers overwhelmed the studio. "Alright," said Harry weakly.
"Louder," said Gilderoy.
"I SAID ALRIGHT! I'll do it!" Harry said. "Sounds interesting."
"So, Ron Weasley," said Gilderoy, "I guess you are the next Bachelor."
Harry and Ron shook hands as Gilderoy made his announcement about the commercial break. When the cameras were off, Harry asked, "Alright, am I good now?"
"No," said Gilderoy. "You're going to need to stay on for one more segment. We have a second special guest coming on to talk to you and Hermione."
"Another one?" Harry asked. "To talk to us?" He looked at Hermione, who shrugged. Nobody except Gilderoy seemed to know who the second special guest was.
"Welcome back, Bachelor Nation. I'm sure nobody has forgotten that in the middle of Hermione's season, we were forced to halt production due to the return of You-Know-Who. While we have all discussed this in depth many times, there is one loose end yet to be resolved. What happened to Draco Malfoy? Well, we're about to find out. Draco is here tonight." Gasps from the audience.
"Bollocks," Hermione said.
"Draco actually personally reached out to us and asked to appear on the show tonight. We have no idea what he wants to say. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Draco Malfoy," said Gilderoy. There were some scattered claps, but mostly booing and hissing as Draco walked on stage. Harry and Hermione shot daggers at him with their eyes. A third chair was added to the stage, this one on the other side of Gilderoy. Draco sat. "Okay, Draco, since you asked to come here, I'm going to just let you say what you want to say," said Gilderoy.
"Thank you," said Draco. He looked at Harry and Hermione with pained eyes. "I want to start by saying I'm sorry to you, Hermione. I left without saying anything to you, and I'm sorry. There was no excuse for it."
"Uh-huh," said Hermione.
"That's not the main reason I'm here today, though," said Draco. "I have a lot more I need to say. Now, fair warning, what I'm about to say will be very upsetting. Also, my parents don't know that I'm here, and, after I say this, I'm probably going to change mine and their lives forever. Harry, Hermione, everybody, I know how Tom Riddle got on the show." A few gasps were heard through the silence. Everyone was just staring at him. "As I said on the show, my parents are Death Eaters. I choose my words very carefully there. Not were Death Eaters. Are.
"I want to be clear here. When I signed on to do the show, I really was looking for a wife. I am looking for a wife. And Hermione and I did have a connection, obviously. While I was raised to hate muggle-born witches and wizards, being on the show made me question that. There's obviously a lot of pressure from my family to marry pure-blood. But I digress. Harry," he said, "my parents learned that you were going to be on the show with me, and they took some steps behind my back to orchestrate the return of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."
Gasps and screams from the audience. Gilderoy, Hermione, and Harry looked at each other in shock. Rita Skeeter rushed onto the stage. "Everyone, please, calm down," she said. "Gilderoy, out."
"But," he said.
"You are not equipped to handle this interview. Draco is throwing his parents under the bus and probably straight into Azkaban. OUT!"
The audience was in a state of disheveled chaos. Gilderoy reluctantly relinquished his chair to Rita. "Okay, Draco, dear," she said. "You are doing wonderfully. Please continue."
"Harry, you probably remember this," said Draco. "Tom's diary."
"Oh, shit, yeah," said Harry. "He was manic about that thing."
"Okay, I'm really fuzzy on how this magic works," said Draco. "My parents said it was a..."
"Horcrux," said Harry.
"Oh, shit," said Rita. "I don't know if we can say that on TV. Can we say that on TV?"
Draco and Harry ignored her. "So you knew?" asked Draco.
"We had a hunch," said Harry. "Yeah, Rita, may I take over?"
"Uhhhh...I guess?" Rita said. She was talking into her wand.
"A Horcrux is an item that contains a part of the wizard's soul. I don't know how it works either," said Harry, "but the Order had guessed that Tom had probably gotten on the show by Horcrux. I actually feel really stupid in not guessing it was the diary."
"So my parents had the diary," said Draco. "They stashed it with my things. I brought it onto the show, completely unaware-"
"You expect me to believe that?!" Hermione shouted, pushing herself out of her seat.
"Hermione, don't do anything crazy," said Harry.
"I realize it's far-fetched, and I don't expect you to believe me, but that is the truth," said Draco, "and I know no amount of apology can undo what happened, but I wanted to apologize anyways. I am trying to be a better person. Harry, Hermione, I am sorry that my family's actions ruined the show and put you and everyone else in such great danger."
"Try the whole world, Draco!" Hermione seethed.
"Hermione, sit down!" Harry said.
"How are you so calm?!"
"Because I've lived this my whole life," said Harry. "This is just a blip on the radar. Besides, whatever his intentions, Draco is doing the right thing now."
"Thank you, Harry," said Draco.
"A little irresponsibly," said Harry. "Live national television, seriously, Draco? This confession should have happened behind very closed doors at the Ministry."
"But it is wonderfully dramatic television," said Rita.
"Shut up," said Harry.
"I was tired of being a meme! I want to be liked again," said Draco.
"Oh, good lord, this is embarrassing," said Hermione. "Can we please move on?"
"Draco, I'm going to get you in touch with the Order," said Harry. "It's going to be alright. Thank you for confessing. I know this wasn't easy."
"Thank you, Harry," Draco said again.
Harry poked Rita. "I'm thinking it's probably time for a commercial," he said.
"Oh, right," said Rita. "Sorry, I was talking to the lawyers. When we get back, Hermione and Neville will talk about how in love they are."
The live portion ended, and it seemed everyone breathed a collective nervous sigh. Hermione buried her head in her hands. Rita and some crewmembers ushered Draco out. "This was supposed to be mine and Neville's big night," she said. "Draco just hijacked it."
"I'm sorry," said Harry. "It was a really big deal, what he did just now."
"I know, but, he didn't have to do it here, tonight," said Hermione. "Ugh, look! He's got fangirls already!" Harry looked. Some female fans had intercepted Draco and were taking pictures. When he started with autographs, Harry wretched. "I kissed that," Hermione whispered in disgust.
"Well, you're not marrying that," said Harry. "Looks like he got what he wanted out of everything."
"Indeed," said Hermione.
Gilderoy returned. "Ah, there you are, Harry," he said. "It's time for you to go."
"Right," said Harry. "Good luck, Hermione!"
"Thank you, Harry!" Hermione said. Harry got up and walked off the stage. Gilderoy sat next to Hermione.
"That's Neville's seat," Hermione whispered.
"Who?" asked Gilderoy. Then he looked around. "Oh, yes, right, of course."
The lights flickered. Gilderoy was sitting in his appropriate seat when the cameras turned back to them. "Well, ladies and gentlemen, that was unexpected! We apologize for any distress caused by our surprise guest. This, folks, is the moment we've all been waiting for. Neville and Hermione have been sneaking around in the shadows for all these months since our filming ended, even keeping the secret from their own friends, but now, for the first time, they may appear in public as a couple! Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a warm welcome to NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM!" The audience, though still in a daze after the last segment, knew what to do. They got to their feet, including Gilderoy. Hermione rushed to meet Neville as he walked out. They walked hand-in-hand together back to their seats. "Neville," said Gilderoy, "the man who just narrowly made it through night one."
"Yeah," said Neville. "I was just an idiot. I don't know who that guy was."
"But it all worked out for you, didn't it?" Gilderoy asked.
"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, I suppose it did."
Everyone laughed at the understatement. "So, Neville," said Gilderoy, "what was going through your head on that first day when you met Hermione?'
"Well, Gilderoy, I was intimidated," said Neville. "I thought I was in way over my head, and the fact that I was so already infatuated with her just completely terrified me."
"When would you say that infatuation started?"
"Oh, right out of the carriage, for sure," said Neville. "And then after our first conversation, I knew that I was in trouble. She was better than I could have ever imagine."
"Hermione," said Gilderoy, "I remember you saying to me that you thought Neville was one of the best-looking guys in the house on night one."
"I did say that," said Hermione with a blush. "I had quite the crush on this one."
"When did that crush start to turn into the love that we see before us today?" Gilderoy asked.
"For me, the shift probably started to happen on our date in Norway," said Hermione.
"Me too," said Neville. "That first one-on-one date was just, so easy."
"It was always easy with him," said Hermione. "It was like, no matter what insanity was happening around me, there was Neville. And Neville was always Neville. And I was just like...I need this in my life."
"Neville," said Gilderoy, "where does this easy-going, almost sagely attitude come from?"
"Sagely?" Neville asked. "Oh, wow, I just honestly...well, I really think people just mistake my shyness for quietly contemplating the mysteries of the universe. I promise you there isn't all that much going on up here."
"Yet you always seemed to say the right thing," said Gilderoy.
"Total accident," said Neville. "I guess my philosophy coming in here was just...I'm not going to be anything other than myself, because I want Hermione to like me for me, not some fake TV-version of me, because a relationship built on lies can't possibly last."
The audience applauded. "Sagely wisdom," said Gilderoy.
"That shouldn't be sagely wisdom! That should be common sense!" said Neville.
"I think what made Neville stand out the most was actually that. I didn't feel like I was ever 'on a show' or 'playing a game' when it came to him," said Hermione. "I mean obviously there were cameras everywhere, but it just felt natural. Like this relationship could easily have happened off camera just the same."
"Well, not just the same," said Neville. "The locations, for example."
"They were just backdrops, though," said Hermione.
"Okay, so, we've obviously all seen where you came from," said Gilderoy. "What's next for Hermione and Neville? Are you already wedding planning?"
"We wanted to take these months to extend our dating and getting to know each other," said Hermione. "But now we'll start planning."
"And we're going to start looking for a house," said Neville. "One that's just ours."
"That's just the logical, matter-of-fact answer I would expect from you two," said Gilderoy. "Big wedding? Traditional? Destination?"
"We honestly might have it in Hallstatt," said Hermione. "Not at the charnel house though."
"That'll be the magic wedding," said Neville, "and then we'll have another one in London for her side of the family."
"Oh, so, the muggle family," said Gilderoy.
"Yeah, my mum and dad are the only ones that are in the know when it comes to the wizarding community," said Hermione. "It's just cleaner that way."
"So you're going to get married on skis, then?" Gilderoy asked.
"YES!" Neville cried, while Hermione cried "NO!"
"Well, once again, it has been a pleasure, and we all wish you the absolute best. Hermione and Neville, everybody!" Gilderoy said.
They stood up and waved to their friends and family in the front row. Cheesy music played, and the cameras panned the audience, a whole slew of people whom neither Hermione nor Neville really knew or would ever see again. Then, the house lights came on, and the cameras turned off. Gilderoy cast off his white suit jacket and sulked backstage for another Old Merlin. The strangers gathered their things and left the MBBC studio. Cleaning crews started to move in. A crewman picked up the vase of roses that were sitting on the table by Gilderoy's chair, tossed the flowers in the trash, and dumped out the water.
"It's over," Hermione whispered.
"Shame," said Neville. "This is the best part."