The person revealing himself shocked everyone, it was...Mario.
Yoshi was dumbfounded, "Mario, why? Why did you do this?"
Mario grumbled, "To make everyone suffer the same pain that I had shoved down my throat. People kept mocking and taunting me over the whole incident and it was just too much to handle, so I figured I'd make them stop attacking me by making them attack each other. I made the false rumors to destroy love everywhere I could. 99% of people affected by them seemed to turn on each other like animals, but you and Birdo are that 1% that seem to have an unbreakable bond."
Birdo asked, "Are you sorry about lies you spread online?"
Mario said, "Well yes, but I'm more sorry for driving you both to fuck live on TV. I would have just settled for the first sex video, but I was in too much emotional pain caused a certain brat whose name I dare not mention to think straight."
Yoshi and Birdo asked, "So you'll stop?"
"Yes...but while those cameras are still filming, maybe I can finally get a point across..."
The disgraced red plumber walked to the stage, turned to the cameras and said, "To everyone at the Mushroom Kingdom, I QUIT!"
Everyone gasped, Mario continued, "I give and give and give, only to be repaid with selfishness and neglect. That fact I have almost died countless times saving your skins, but am forced to deal with ingratitude in the end is what puts the nail in the coffin. This is why everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom, especially Peach, will have no say in the matter when I say MY SERVICE ENDS NOW!"
Yoshi asked, "Don't you think maybe you're overreacting?"
Mario snorted, "Peach didn't think she was overreacting when she tried to steal my ship, leave me to die and act like a such a bitch to me ever since! That is not acceptable and I am done with her new unsympathetic personality! GOOD LORD, SHE PUTS THE PATHETIC IN UNSYMPATHETIC!"
He angrily pointed at the camera, yelling, "I've made my decision clear, Peach! If you're not going to apologize for all the torment you've made me suffer, you are no longer my responsibility. I didn't want any of this sadness at all. It is totally not what I wanted. I mean, fuck you, we're not even going to be friends, because rescuing you is officially a total waste of time. I mean, you went out of your way to have millions of people disrespect me, so you know what? I'm moving away, effective immediately and it's all thanks to you, cause if it weren't for you being such an ass, I wouldn't see what an awful world this is and how little people really care about me."
Birdo said, "OK, you can stop now."
Mario furiously continued ranting, "This world doesn't give a shit about me and it has been explicitly stated that you only love yourself. I don't even care because I don't even have anything to say to you because you won't hurt about this, you'll be over this by tomorrow. I will never see anything that shows you're even hurt by this or you even care! I'm going to go ahead and cut ties with such a death trap of a kingdom. I'm gonna be happy once I'm freed from my prison back there and I'm gonna move on with my life, with or without you in it. I also know for a fact that you're gonna be doing the same thing in five minutes, if you're not kidnapped again. I mean, I'd recommend talking to someone about that. You should probably call up an institution, therapy or something because you're gonna be doing the same thing in five seconds. I bet you I will never be mentioned again by you. You're not gonna be upset. You're not gonna do anything. I bet that all you're gonna do is be like, 'Oh, who the hell was Mario? I have a new hero called...' I don't even care anymore. I. Do. Not. Care. I'm going bye-bye. I'm gonna be happy once I'm outta there, so you know what, Ms. Gold Digger? Go do whatever because you know what, just fuck you, you're just gonna get rid of everyone in the universe because you've already shown me that, sooo…have fun taunting me about finding a new slave or punching bag that you'll undoubtedly drive away in another 32 years. DO YOU HEAR ME?! I AM DONE! CONSIDER YOURSELF ENEMY-ZONED!"
The crowd gasped, the Mushroom Kingdom residents were particularly devastated by his decision to leave forever. The people just sat in shock as Mario stormed out of the theater to pack up, move away from the Mushroom Kingdom and never return.