#####OQ#####

He was back in the dungeon on a short chain, and he'd lost track of time, and again and again, the freezing water came. Bitter cold, his body stressed, all of his body heat gone, he was miserable and if he managed to sleep, he awoke shivering, his body's natural response to his low body core temperature.

He wanted to scream out his fury at this entire situation but he didn't. Instead, he told himself he'd been cold before, on the island, on the ship, and in Russia, and he'd survive this too.

He was angry since he'd made a huge mistake and underestimated Ra's yet again. Of course, Ra's had watching his every move.

He'd been stupid not to throw her hair tie away.

See what you get when you're selfish?

"Oliver Queen is alive only in the past. He is forgotten." Over and over the words tormented him. "You are Al Sah-Him."

The hood came and went shutting off the light. Darkness he'd seen before, but the more time pasted, the more problem he had focusing on reality.

Not that he liked reality since it was torture, but he understood torture, it was something he knew first hand. His captors knew their business, since his tormentors allowed him little sleep, and if he dozed, someone awakened him with a bucket of freezing water.

He passed time pacing to the end of his chain, trying to keep warm, but there was no food, lots of darkness, pain if someone kicked his bad knee out from under him, and then randomly, someone choke'd him until he passed out.

Then he'd jerk back awake from the cold water to start the process over again.

And again.

The only bright spot was he didn't dream.

And then there were the never ending words, "Dead, Oliver Queen is dead. He is forgotten. You are Al Sah-Him. Embrace it. Say the words."

In the beginning, he fought them, but just a small show because he knew fighting them would weaken him faster. But if he gave up too quickly, it would show his hand.

However, he admitted that fighting them was hard in chains, not with with a bad knee and shaking from being freezing wet and cold.

Misery now his best friend, he'd have gladly killed them to stop his torture. He was getting weaker every time they woke him.

The lack of food, drinking water, and the bitter cold stressed his body. He knew he shouldn't have kept the reminder of her and he'd made a mistake.

Ra's must have had a camera in the room and seen him place the ponytail holder in his pocket. A stupid and selfish mistake, he'd used his mistake to hold on to his mind.

Then they brought him the tea.

He threw it back at them in the beginning. He knew they'd tainted the tea, and no matter how thirsty he was, he would not drink it. Finally they held him and forced it down his throat.

He struggled trying to throw it up, but he couldn't, with so little in his stomach, and a man could go only so long without fluids.

The tea clouded his brain and made him high, so high, he couldn't hold on to the simplest thought. He struggled to focus, as he lost the ability to move, and the frigid cold seeped into his very bones.

High, so high he could do nothing but lie on the floor and shake and hurt. Wrapping his arms around himself, he placed his hands in his armpits and focused on some thought, but then someone came and threw water on him again.

The water stabbed like needles when he was this high. He laughed when he remembered how he wanted to get high when he was young. Now he wanted nothing but to come down, so he could move again.

This was true torture to be unable to move, almost paralyzed, his mind refusing to work but was still able to hold on to the thought that this was terribly wrong, and he was in pain, awful pain.

Someone forced more of the tea down his throat, and now he couldn't move, so helpless, he couldn't even attempt to stay warm, and he laid on the floor and shaking violently.

"You are Al Sah-Him. Embrace it. Say the words."

Again and again with the words and the water.

Again and again, they would plunge him into darkness, and he was too high to think, to plan, but somehow she would still creep into his thoughts.

He had to be getting used to the drug for after a time even when he was so high, he could still see her message on the mirror, and he held fast to it. It anchored him from the insanity.

Me + you was the message.

They tried to destroy the part of him that was him.

But Felicity had given him the key to survival.

He knew now that no matter how high or how many times they hurt him, his name did not matter for she loved him by any name.

She loved the MAN.

They could take his name from him and give him a new one, but he would still be the man she loved.

This was how he would survive this with his mind intact.

Ra's wanted to take her from him but even helplessly high, he would not allow it.

They were one, intertwined like the hearts on the mirror, he just pushed her deeper down for now. She was still with him, deep down, and she would wait for him to survive this, as he had the island and the rest.

And she would wait for him, and he could still feel her, like she stood beside him.

Sarab came to him. "Stop the fight. Please, my friend. Let her go. Cut her from your heart and embrace your destiny. You are Al Sah-Him. Embrace it. Say the words. If you continue to resist you will die down here."

But he was too high to answer.

"Oliver Queen is alive only in the past. He is forgotten." Over and over the words and the men came to torment him.

"You are Al Sah-Him. Embrace it. Say the words." They drug him to his knees and whispered the words in his ear, then kicked him back to the hard, cold concrete floor, over and over, knocking the bad knee out from under him and making him scream by the end of the abuse, but he would not say the words for them.

He refused to give her up but then his friend whispered. "Give her up or she will be lost to you forever. He will kill her. She will bleed out on the sidewalk. You can't kill us all."

Finally, he knew he had to embrace the words or both of them would die. Besides, he couldn't keep doing this, his body wouldn't survive it. He didn't know how many days they'd tortured him, but he knew he was losing himself.

Oliver Queen had died in this room. He knew that to survive this, he had to embrace the words. If he said the words, they would let him rest for a little while, and maybe they would let him come down from the mindless high, and she'd be safe.

Yes, if he said the words and Ra's believed them, then, maybe he could get a weapon in his hands again, and he would kill Ra's yet. No, his mind wasn't that far gone. The torture hard but this wasn't the first time someone had tried to break him.

No, he could have showed them a few things that would speed this process along, things that he'd already survived.

The Russian mafia, now they truly knew how to hurt a man. Another man and another locked door and a knife had been harder than this.

If he had been running this show, he'd have been broken, and this would have been over days ago.

But now was the time to stop this.

Ra's might think he'd forgotten but he hadn't.

He'd kill Ra's Al Ghul for what he'd done to him, for the way he'd gutted Thea like a fish, and for the way Ra's had hit Felicity, really hit her.

Now high or not, he could still hear the sound of Ra's backhand, and he focused on it. It had been long enough for Ra's to believe he'd broken.

It was time to play along.

So he embraced the words.

"I am Al Sah-Him. Oliver Queen is alive only in the past. He is forgotten." He said the words over and over with conviction, as he lay on his side in defeat, and it wasn't long before Ra's, himself, smiled down at him and reached out his hand, and Al Sah-Him pulled himself to his feet.

His face schooled to show no emotion, his lips turned down in a frown.

Broken by the league.

One man removed his chains, then after he refused Sarab's help to walk, he limped after Ra's.

######OQ######

Ra's led him to the pit. "Your knee's beyond repair now and only the pit will restore your movement. Disrobe."

The last thing he wanted was to enter the pit but he obeyed.

His useless knee crippled him, and he would never defeat Ra's injured. He'd have to take his chances.

Ra's pointed. "Sit on the edge, there is no need to fully enter."

He handed him a rolled clothe with the command, "Put it between your teeth."

Then Ra's picked up a ladle and dipped the water from the pit. "Steel yourself, everything comes with a price."

And Ra's poured liquid fire on his knee.

Like hot lava, the water washed over him, and Al Sah-Him screamed as the water attacked his knee, cutting deep with throbbing, lancing pain.

He bit down hard on the clothe, while sweat popped out on his forehead.

Gripping the rock he sat on, his fingers turned white. Slowly, the heat faded away and the throbbing, cutting sensation disappeared.

Looking down, he saw for the first time in over a year, his knee was normal size. Carefully, he extended it, bending it slowing, and unbelievably his knee worked for him, pain free. He almost felt young again. Even still high from the tea, he knew the knee was healed, and relief flooded him for the first time in weeks.

"Thank you," he said sincerely to Ra's.

"You have finally learned the lesson, Al Sah-Him. You are my true heir. Now let's get you cleaned up, fed, and rested, for tomorrow, we train."

########OQ########

"Squeeze the trigger, Felicity, don't pull it. Nice and easy," John's words made perfect sense but she still wasn't doing it right.

It didn't help that she jumped every time she pulled the trigger.

Of course, she couldn't hit the target. It was a good thing she didn't have to save her life with the stupid weapon.

So what if John had worked with on her correct stance, how to hold the gun, and how to put the trigger, for she still couldn't do it.

"Watch the front sight to aim. Stare at it that small bead."

Another missed shot and John sighed and asked, "Did you never play video games, Felicity?"

She flipped her head around and frowned at him. "No, I wrote code, programs. Who had time for playing games? Oh, why does it have to be so hard? The movies and TV make it look easy."

"That's because they're not firing live ammo that kicks back," John said dryly.

Turning back toward the target, she fired again and still missed the target, and she muttered under her breathe.

"Damn it."

John wisely kept his silence, as he checked his watch. "Hey, I've got to go, so let's call it a day. Look, here's what I want you to do. Give me the gun."

She handed it over, and he ejected the carriage, removed all the bullets, and then checked the chamber to make sure it was clear, before he replaced the empty carriage. "Okay, I know you want to do this but if you're really going to learn to shoot a gun, you have to stop being scared of the weapon."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Now, I want you to take it with you. NO BULLETS, do you hear me?"

"Got it, no bullets."

He handed the small 25 automatic pistol back to her, and she tried to hold it with a confidence she wasn't feeling.

He was right.

She was scared of the gun.

"I want you to practice pulling the trigger and looking down the sight. Over and over squeeze the trigger and sight. Got it."

"Got it." She gave him a small smile.

His phone rang and he answered it. "Yes, Lyla, on my way." He waved to her.

She stayed a while longer at the shooting range and did what Diggle said.

Not having bullets in the gun made it easier for her, but still deep down, she didn't know if she would ever be able to shoot someone, let along kill someone with a gun, even Ra's Al Ghul.

Slowly, head down, she walked back to her car.

Starting to crank the engine, she hesitated and instead put her head on the steering wheel and fought the hopelessness feelings enveloping her.

It'd been three weeks now, and he was still gone, still lost to her.

She refused to cry.

Pulling the gun out of her pocket, she took deep breathes. "I am done crying. It's time to take action."

What had Dig said? Something about playing video games that was it.

Pulling her phone from her pocket, she dialed Ray's number and he answered on the second ring.

"Ray, I have a favor to ask."

"Don't you always?"

"I guess so but nothing big this time. I just need you to help me write a virtual shooting game."

"Should I ask why?"

"Probably not."

"Okay, I can see you are as truthful as normal. Sure, I'll get right on it. How real do you want it be?"

"As real as it gets. And Ray, I know exactly what the bad guy looks like. I want to shoot him. I'll get you a picture."

#####OQ#####

Reviews anyone? Thanks for the read.