###OQ#####
Al Sah-Him trained harder than he'd ever trained in his life.
Yet, no matter how hard he trained, each and every time Ra's beat him in swordplay.
But a good student, he kept trying, since his life hung in the balance, but Ra's still continued to drug him, he was sure of it.
The drugs effects drugs weren't as bad as his time in the dungeon but something kept him slow and sluggish. Ra's continued to control him against his disappearing will. His brain not crystal clear, yet when he could think he hated Ra's for poisoning his body and his mind.
Food and drink became his enemies.
The less he ate and drank, the better his mind worked, so he starved at meals. Starving became a double edged sword, for with no extra fat on his large frame, he quickly lost body mass as his body ate his muscle to compensate for the energy he expelled.
He played a dangerous game by not replacing the calories, but he feared to eat more of the drug, feared losing himself completely.
So, he ate little except fruit, and drank nothing that came out of a cup on the dining table. Still his mind changed, and he knew it.
His nightmares became silence.
Nights now, he yearned for his nightmares. He missed the nightmares because they meant he was straight and in his right mind.
The drug warped him.
Sarab brought a man to him, and he saw him as John Diggle, and he easily killed John and barely blinked, and he loved John.
Why would he kill John just because Ra's told him to deal with the man?
It made no sense but he couldn't hold on to the thought, while the drug fed his rage.
No longer just angry, no, he'd become an inferno inside, waiting to explode.
Ra's had him trapped, forcing him to keep up the mask, and he'd clearly lost his mind.
The drug reduced him to a passenger in his own head, and he was no longer certain who was driving.
But he knew, he couldn't stop himself.
He wanted to stop himself, but he'd lost the good fight. He'd ruthlessly stuck John's body down, seen John's face to opening his eyes and finding a stranger's blood staining the sand.
But he'd seen John, and he'd killed him.
It sicken him that he'd lost the good fight along with his mind.
Ra's even bragged he'd drugged him to bring his conscious to the front, and he swore Ra's enjoyed his agony.
Yet, he couldn't stop, so he killed for Ra's and did what the man told him to do, while he worked to keep his expression blank, and some days, he wasn't sure the part that was him was still there anymore.
More and more sword fights, and he still couldn't defeat Ra's. The man alway won, knocking the sword from his hand.
Damn, he missed his bow.
Losing repeatedly was disheartening and the more time he spent with Ra's the more he realized Ra's was insane, and maybe, he was joining him. No doubt too many trips into the pit, or rather the magic hot tub as Felicity called it had warped Ra's mind.
He squashed that thought.
To bring any thoughts of Felicity too near his conscious mind was dangerous, and he knew it. Selfishness had already cost him.
Mornings were the best, since he could think better and he spent them, meditating while trying to figure Ra's out.
The man had to have a master plan, a reason for why he wanted him, Al Sah-Him, to ascend as the new head of the league. Ra's did not seem old, and he fought like a demon. He didn't buy this "I'm getting old" theory.
Real concern filled him when Ra's took him to visit his village of the dead and told him that this place had been Ra's home.
What was Ra's thinking?
Where had the people gone? Had Ra's really killed them all? And why had he shown him this?
He understood the story about Ra's friend that he had allowed to escape, the man that Oliver himself had fought against. He understood Ra's didn't want him to make the same mistake, and that Ra's was turning him into a heartless killer and the drug was helping him.
But he didn't know how to stop what was happening to him.
And now he sat in an airplane headed back to his city.
Yes, Ra's had sent him back to Starling City to bring Nyssa home, to kill Nyssa because she was a threat to his reign. After hours in the plane and not eating, his mind became somewhat clear.
Staring out the plane's window, he thought, what a joke. Nyssa was not a threat to his reign, if anything Ra's was angry at Nyssa for loving Sara, homophobic SOB.
His eyes fell on the other men seated in the plane. Of course, Ra's had sent his most loyal men with him to Starling, so he'd have no chance to sneak away, no chance to see anyone, speak to anyone or to explain himself.
Ra's and his spies watched him always, so he'd have to walk a very straight line. And he didn't dare take any chances after all he'd been through to make Ra's believe him loyal.
He couldn't be selfish this time. Not if he wanted to live.
One true look from Thea, or heaven help him, Felicity, and his charade could crumble, and he'd end up back in the dungeon.
His last round in Ra's dungeon would be a lark if Ra's figured out he was tricking him. Ra's already commented on the amount of food he ate and encouraging him to eat hardier. The man would surely cripple him again and drug him until the part that was him disappeared completely this time.
He had to keep playing the game, no matter how much it hurt or how cold and empty he felt inside.
The plane was landing now and his gut hurt since he found himself coming home but not coming home, for Ra's wasn't letting him slip away from him. No, returning to Starling City was not his chance to escape.
No, this test would prove his loyalty, prove he would obey without question, and prove that Oliver Queen is dead. This test would proved if he would go to his family, to his team, or to her, especially to her.
Since the league watched Felicity, he didn't dare to go anywhere near her, or he would endanger them both.
The plane landed smoothly and with hate burning in his gut like acid, he climbed down the steps and placed boots on the ground of his city. Sighing softly, wishing he could escape, his chest hurt as he wished he could disappear in his city's darkness like smoke, wished he could turn and take each of the League members, who travel with him, out.
But Ra's would send more men, and they would go after each of his loved one them if he disappeared, and Oliver Queen might be dead but he wasn't stupid enough to think he could escape the league's long arm.
So, he would do whatever had to be done to return Nyssa to her father. His stomach growled and he thought, well, the one bright spot was that he would eat a drug free meal.
######OQ######
Felicity ripped the virtual headset off her head the first time she used it, and the second and the third.
Ra's stood too life like, too scary, and she couldn't handle it. She'd never tell Oliver, but she'd brought nightmares home from Nanda Parbat this time.
She'd teased Oliver about the black eye not mattering, but Ra's remained ruthless in her dreams. She could joke, but her subconscious understood that Ra's really could hurt her. Watching her strong Oliver be helpless and unable to stop Ra's, she knew had affected her mind too.
However, she was determined to do this, to shoot Ra's, so after a small panic attack, she picked up the virtual pistol. Ray and she'd played with the weight so that virtual pistol fit her hand like the real thing.
Wow, Ray was good, everything really looked real.
Hands shaking, she tried to shoot Ra's, but her hands trembled, and she couldn't bring herself to point the gun in her hand.
She ripped the headset off again.
Breathe, she told herself.
Typing in a few commands, she changed the virtual reality to targets. Placing the headset back on again, she picked up the virtual pistol and squeezed the trigger, again and again, practicing.
#####OQ########
League intel told him where to find her and he thought, trust Nyssa to return to the rooftop where Thea had killed Sara.
Yes, wasn't that ironic?
He didn't want to fight her, but she resisted and who could blame her? First Daddy dearest, steals her birthright from her and now he wants her dead.
Of course, she's angry. Well, news flash, so was he, and if she wanted to fight, so be it.
She fought hard, and he had to work to not hurt her. Ra's wanted her dead, not him. He even cheated by throwing a smoke bomb. However, in a mood to finish this, he found his sword to her throat, when her words about remembering Sara broke through his red fury and froze him.
Yes, he remembered Sara, he'd missed her, but he couldn't afford to say the words.
Then, Diggle and Laurel, with a new toy, showed up at the scene.
Damn screamer almost deafened him.
He jerked his head up to find a standoff, and for a split second, he wondered if Diggle would pointblank shoot him.
Refusing to engage his team, he stood there frozen. He didn't want to hurt them or Nyssa. Their safety was the one reason he'd gone after Nyssa alone tonight.
The League killed first, and one of Ra's men might easily have killed Nyssa.
Diggle and Laurel arriving to help Nyssa, left him no option. He couldn't fight, so he withdrew. Jumping from the rooftop, he shot a repelling arrow and landed in the alley.
Yes, he had to give them this round, but he would have to up his game.
He remembered now Laurel had mentioned a new training partner and who better to teach her than Nyssa?
Of course, Laurel would want to save Nyssa from the league. They had to be friends now. Damn, now Laurel would never willing give her up without a fight that could get the people he loved killed.
And he couldn't return to Nanda Parbat without Nyssa, though he still hoped that Ra's would decide not to kill her or rather not make him kill her. He would kill her only if Ra's insisted.
Dark thoughts plagued him as he returned to the warehouse and explained to Sarab what had happened.
Sarab asked, "Were they friends of yours?"
He ignored his words. Al Sah-Him had NO friends, of that he was sure. He placed his hand on his sword. "They'll be protecting her now. We need to draw her out." And he frowned realizing this situation could get bloody quickly.
Laurel would never hand Nyssa over to him. He knew her too well.
So how could he and they survive this without anyone getting hurt?
If he forced his teams' hand, they would fight the league, and they would lose.
Someone was going to get killed, someone he loved. How could he fix this? He thought for a minute then knew what he had to do.
Yes, he could still control this situation. He could still take Nyssa, without bloodshed.
But everyone would hate him.
Well so be it.
#####OQ######
Lyla laid Sara down in her crib as he came up behind her. For just an instant, his eyes swept over Sara's beautiful face, and he said a silent promise that he'd return the little girl's mother as quickly as he could.
Hating to leave the baby alone for any time, he'd already checked the kitchen to make sure that were no fire hazards, like a pot on the stove. He was not trying to burn Sara up for heaven's sake.
However, he knew he'd crossed a line here, one Dig would be majorly upset over but it seemed the only way to get the team to give up Nyssa without losses.
He felt for Nyssa, but Ra's was her father, and he currently had no choice but to obey. Yeah, it sucked to be him.
"I need you to come with me, Lyla."
"Oliver!" Lyla spun around and looked genuinely shocked at his appearance. He knew he looked different, hard and dark but the look on Lyla's face spoke the fact in volumes.
"My name is Al Sah-Him now. Oliver Queen is dead, only a memory. It is best you remember that."
She swung, taking a punch at him that he easily sidestepped. He pointed a finger at her. "Lyla, come quietly." He hated himself and Ra's so badly, but he laid his hand on his sword and said darkly, "Don't force me to hurt Sara, Lyla."
And Lyla held up her hands in defeat and went quietly.
#####QO#####
Back in the warehouse, he called Dig. He would call him John, a name he didn't use that often, and he hoped Dig would catch it, to somehow know that was only a ploy to get them to give up Nyssa without anyone getting hurt, somehow understand he didn't have a choice.
He kept his words even. "John, first let me assure you that no harm will come to Lyla, if you do exactly as I say. Bring Nyssa to the warehouse at Fulton and Hallstead, and I'll let your wife go.
"Oliver, I swear if you do anything to Lyla." He heard the panic in Dig's voice, and he hated himself, but he had no choice.
"You have 30 minutes." He hung up on him, ended the conversation before he broke down, and then assured himself he would survive this, that they would all survive this.
Turning, his back to Lyla, who was tied to a chair, he tried not to listen to Lyla, who was determined to give him a piece of her mind.
Lyla's words killed him, make his chest tighten and ache, striking directly at his heart. This was a terrible thing he'd done, but he had to take Nyssa without his team getting killed in the process.
He ached to scream at her that Ra's had him trapped, sealed off inside himself, and Ra's had to trust him to allow him to get close enough to figure out how to kill him.
If only, he could explain how lonely he was, how lost without his team, how much he missed his extended family and yes, Felicity.
He wanted to rant about how much harder this time was than the island, than all those other places he had been, since he'd been alone and now he had real friends and family. He wanted scream that Ra's was ripping his mind away by drugging him. He wished he could scream back that he was starving himself just to think, and how he couldn't even think about Felicity.
But he didn't say the words, not even when she told of John's pain after his brother's dead. Yet Lyla's words struck home, and for the first time, he lost it and yelled at Lyla to be quiet, but she wasn't going to back down.
Married to his best friend, she wanted to reach him.
His hands balled into fists and the fury inside him made him want to hit something, anything. Sarab finally reminded him that it was time, and he was glad since he could end Lyla's torture to what tiny bit was left of his soul.
He steeled himself to finish this but the worst lay in front him. He had to face Dig after endangering his wife and his child. How low could he sink?
At the exchange, he refused to look in anyone eyes. It was bad enough to see the horror, the disappointment and the shock on their faces at what he had become.
Sarab searched each of them until he reached Felicity and of course, she resisted and since, he really didn't want Sarab touching her, he nodded and allowed Felicity not to be searched by Sarab.
His fingers twitched when Felicity reached out to him, and for just an instant, he looked at her face, before he slammed down his selfish emotions and got everyone killed.
The exchange almost over now.
Nyssa bound tightly and a member of the league led her away.
He released Lyla, and she ran and hugged John.
Then just when he thought he was going to get through this without bloodshed, Lyla hugged Felicity and turned back to them with guns blazing.
He should have known that the team would pull something, known it'd been too easy.
Trust them to hide the weapons on Felicity, and he'd fallen for their trick by not searching her. The entire fake out probably her idea, damn it.
Heavens, how he loved her, but he should have searched her himself.
Now his team was going to get themselves killed.
No escape from fighting now, he had to put up a good show, so he attacked Dig, who didn't understand he fought him to protect him from the league soldiers.
Dig was angry and fought him hard, and he tried to take Dig out quickly.
And yes, once the fight began he went overboard, damn the drug, he couldn't stay focused, had a problem pulling back, stopping, the anger inside him intense, insisting he kill.
He saw red.
KILL! He heard Ra's in his mind.
NO!
Where was his control? Not Al Sah-Him.
liver, he needed to be Oliver and NOT kill John.
But John was trying his very best to kill him and everything overlapped.
Out of control now, he cut John, his brother, his friend, who was on his knees, pleading with him to remember he was Oliver.
But he was in a black rage, Ra's was in his head, urging him to kill, and he wanted to plunge the sword through John's heart so bad that he trembled, as he hesitated.
Pain exploded in his wrist, as an arrow sliced through his arm.
In complete shock, he snapped his head around and looked in disbelief straight into Thea's eyes. His sweet deadly sister, her father made over, a dark archer, now stood above him, bow drawn, ready to shoot him again.
"Get away from him, or the next one will go through your eye."
What had Thea become? She'd shot him, and he believed she'd shoot him again.
Well if that didn't snap him back to reality then nothing would.
The league had already drug Nyssa away and there was nothing to be gained by continuing this fight, and there was no way he'd engage Thea.
Slicing the arrow off that stuck through his wrist with his sword, he jerked the arrow out of his wrist, slung it to the rooftop, and forced himself to walk away, and he never looked back.
######OQ######
Back in Nanda Parbat, he'd been happy Ra's had stopped his arm when he went to stab Nyssa, but now he fought to control his shattered emotions.
He would not marry Nyssa, he would not.
It sickened him and from the look on her face, the idea sickened her too.
And then Ra's had shown him the bio-weapon that Nyssa had stolen from Ra's.
China again and he broke out in a sweat.
Ra's expected him to murder everyone in Starling City, all those innocent people in his city and his loved ones?
What the hell was he going to do?
He needed help and he needed it now. Now, he sat at the evening meal and pushed his food around his plate, starving but knowing he couldn't eat because thousands of lives depended on him being able to think, and Ra's enjoyed poisoning his mind.
######OQ######
After her total breakdown at the destroyed foundry, Felicity went back to the Palmer's labs. She picked up the virtual pistol, queued up the program and put on the headset.
Ra's Al Ghul, in all his robed glory, shimmered to life, and with pure hate, she didn't hesitate this time but emptied the clip into his chest, over and over, again and again and again and the blood flew.
Then she sank to the floor and wept again for Oliver, for Thea, for John, and for all of them.
Oliver lost to her. Oh, he'd warned her, and he'd not acknowledged her.
But she hadn't believed him.
After a time, she got up, and she killed Ra's again and again until she was cold and numb. The ice formed swiftly over her heart.
Steadfast now, she planned to kill Ra's for what he'd done to Oliver, for destroying her good man, for turning him into a man who'd threaten to hurt baby Sara and kidnapped John's wife. She shot Ra's again for what he'd done to all of them, and she swore each time she shot him that she'd kill him and was coming for him.
Yeah, she'd lied to Thea about accepting this situation.
If Ra's wanted a war then so be it.
Clearly, it was time to fight for Oliver's soul.
And she killed Ra's again.
#####OQ#####
Reviews or stars or kudos? I like them all. Thanks for the read.