Q: Question

Being an astrophysicist meant asking all different types of questions. Not only literal questions but also metaphorical, rhetorical, and even self-explanatory ones. Delbert had questioned his own mathematical processes, his findings and conclusions… but he'd also questioned the meaning of his life, his purpose on Montressor, and the decisions he made both professionally and personally…

But even these thought-provoking, often controversial questions were no match for the one he'd been pondering for the last three months.

The question that had been plaguing his mind would not only change his life, but the life of his stubborn spacer wife of a year. In fact, it would change her life far more drastically than it would his. Their future depended on the way she answered, and that terrified poor Delbert. If she answered in the negative, he couldn't say that he wouldn't be disappointed. He'd been wanting this since their first anniversary, and to hear her say 'no' would be… well, he'd rather not ponder it.

If she answered affirmatively… he wasn't sure how he'd react. He might grin uncontrollably, or he might possibly cry tears of joy… he wouldn't know until the time came.

One issue tickled the back of his mind. One might think:

"Oh it's just one problem, not that big of a deal."

But it was a huge deal. If Amelia agreed with him, her spacing career would be put on hold. Although the Navy gave paid time off for things such as this, spacing was her life. It was her passion, one of the reasons she got up every morning. She loved the Etherium. She loved the way the breeze gently ruffled her hair, the way the solar sails of the RLS Legacy shone in the sunlight, the way her crew treated her with the utmost respect…

How could he propose an idea that would take that away, even temporarily? Delbert sighed. He supposed she would want to continue working until she absolutely couldn't, and that worried him. What if she was on a 'short voyage', that turned into something much longer? What if something happened aboard her ship? What if they ended up in battle?

What if she...never returned?

He knew she would fight to the very end to get back to him, and that could be a problem. What if she and her crew ended up captured, tortured…? Of course, he'd pondered these questions before, constantly worried about her safety even thought he knew she could handle herself. But… If they went forward with what he was trying to propose, it would be much more difficult to even let her leave the house. He would have much more to worry about.

There were too many questions, too much uncertainty. No, he wouldn't ask. He wouldn't even bring it up. Besides, they had their whole lives ahead of them. There was no rush.

But that didn't stop him from thinking about the possibility of them having children. He thought of how wonderful it would be, reading to them, listening to their giggles, watching them interact, watching Amelia play with them…

His heart jumped. Something about the image of Amelia, a child on her hip, grinning at him from the doorway of the kitchen… knowing the child was his… It conjured up this deep warmth in his chest that he'd never felt before. Chewing his lip, he glanced at the front door. She would be home soon. He closed the book he'd been reading about the importance of parental supervision and stuffed it behind the throw pillow next to him on the couch.

There were so many issues, so many problems to think about. Were they ready? He felt they were. But did she? If she said no, did that mean forever, or just not right now? Could he handle it? The waiting?

By the time he heard the front door creak open and heard Amelia call his name, he still hadn't reached a decision. He met her with a kiss, asking how her day was, only half listening. She noticed the glazed-over look in his eye and asked him how his day was, not the least bit surprised when he let out an awkward cough and fumbled through a quick recap of his uneventful day.

Something was on his mind, and she was going to get it out of him. After dinner, when they were finally seated in the living room, she pelted him relentlessly with questions. What had he been up to all day? Had he enjoyed himself? Had the Academy called about the paperwork he'd been filling out? Had he checked the mail? If so, what had come? Had he talked to Sarah lately?

Delbert struggled to answer all of her questions, the subject he'd been pondering trying its hardest to spill from his lips. But he'd kept it at bay, thinking he'd gotten away with it… When suddenly Amelia shifted against him and furrowed her brow.

"Why on Montressor is this pillow so hard…?"

Before he could stop her, she'd yanked the parenting book from behind the pillow and held it up, reading the title aloud. She raised an eyebrow at him, a tiny smirk on her lips when she saw how sweaty and anxious he'd suddenly become.

"Is this what you've been up to all day?" she asked slowly, waving the book teasingly.

Delbert, in his panicked state, could do nothing but stare blankly at her as if he couldn't speak English. After a few tense moments, he gave an almost imperceptible nod.

"Ah, I see. No wonder nothing got done around here…" she smiled.

Her smile faded and she sighed.

"Delbert, love… Why not simply ask me about this? I noticed from the moment I stepped in the door, you've been torturing yourself with the concept since I left."

He coughed uncomfortably and she raised an eyebrow.

"Or perhaps longer…? Delbert, how long have you been pondering this?"

Delbert seemed to have lost his voice and simply held up three fingers.

"Three days?"

He shook his head no, dropping his eyes to his lap.

"Three weeks?"

Another no, along with nervous squirming.

"Three...months?" she asked incredulously. "Delbert you've been thinking about this for three months?"

He nodded, finally returning his gaze to meet hers. She let out a long sigh, placing her hand on top of his gently as he seemed to have found his voice.

"I was afraid you…" he stopped, choking on his words. This was not how he'd wanted this conversation to go.

"You were afraid I would say no?"

He nodded, giving her a weak smile.

"I...I've been thinking of the consequences."

"Consequences?"

Delbert took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"If we were to...pursue this, you wouldn't be able to take on voyages after a certain amount of time. Spacing is your passion. I would… I would hate for that to be taken away from you."

"Delbert, I wouldn't be pregnant forever. I'd be back on the Legacy whenever I felt I was ready after the children were born."

Delbert pondered this, chewing his lip.

"What if we aren't ready to be parents? What if we're getting ahead of ourselves?"

Amelia was quiet for a moment, then sighed and ran a hand through her fiery tresses.

"I have to be honest with you, my love. I've been pondering this subject for a while now as well."

Delbert stared at her, his mouth open slightly. But before he could respond, Amelia continued.

"I was late coming home this evening because I was at the Benbow. Talking with Ms. Hawkins… About this. About what having children is like… and she said that no one is ready to be a parent, not even those who say they are. There's no…" she smiled, holding up the book he'd been reading. "There's no book on how to correctly raise a child, no matter how many may claim to do so."

Delbert listened silently, his mind reeling. She'd been pondering it too. And had talked with Sarah about it. That meant that she was worried as well, and for some reason… That made him feel a lot better.

"Delbert, love… If…" she took a deep breath and squeezed one of his hands with both of hers gently. "If you're ready, I'm ready."

He thought a moment. It wasn't as if they'd be completely alone, they had Sarah, who had overcome almost insurmountable obstacles that he and Amelia wouldn't have to face… and she had come out just fine. So had Jim.

Was he truly ready to start a family with her, his amazing spacer wife who was alright with putting her career to the side for this? Was he ready for the cravings, the cramps, the mood swings, and the nausea she would undoubtedly blame on him at some point? Was he ready to be prepared to rush to the hospital at any hour, day or night, to meet the bundles of joy that would complete his family?

Was he ready to face waking up at ungodly hours of the night to help put crying babies back to sleep? Was he ready to endure feeding time and potty training? Was he ready to feel the indescribable joy of seeing them walk for the first time, hearing them say their first words, seeing them light up when he walked in the room?

He hadn't even realized he was grinning until Amelia gave him a similar grin and placed a kiss on his nose.

"It's settled then. Shall we get started?"

A/N: OHHHHHHHHHHH LAWD I CAN'T XD hey so um… review! I had a ton of fun with this one, because my friend just had her son a little while ago so I got babies on the brain! Lol feel free to leave suggestions for the next letter, R!