Something fractured inside of me at the sight of ice-spikes covering the ground, everywhere but where Rhys was standing, so close to impaling his legs, so close to hurting him so badly he would see me as the monster I was.

I heard him swallow. "Feyre." He said.

The winter wind won over in my head for the time being. Power. This is what it feels like. This is control.

I lifted my palm and called on the voice of pure fire. Melt the ice. I said with such force the icy voice quieted.

Yes, Lady. The flame whispered as it snaked down my fingertips. "Feyre," Rhys repeated. I could get us both killed. He'd survive- he could winnow. If my powers weren't restraining him, a pulse of light blocking his access.

The ice hissed as it melted away, and Rhys never took his eyes away from me. A dark breath of mine wiped away any trace of my powers, and he took a deep breath as his rushed back to him. He walked toward me slowly, as if I was a wild animal.

"Did I hurt you?" I whispered. He folded me into his arms, and I snaked mine around him. He rested his head atop my head.

"No," His voice was strong and sure. "Are you alright?"

I was a mess. The strings that held me together were all jumbled and tangled, and my powers were silent. I almost killed Rhys.

It was dark, cruel chaos.

I ran my arms over his back, reminding myself that he was fine, he was here and he was unhurt.

I turned my face into his chest. Sturdy, safe. I wanted to curl up in his warmth.

The headache started again, pulsing hard. I whimpered. Rhys' hand cupped the back of my head, pulling me and keeping me in his embrace. Not that I wanted to leave it. His chin found its way to the top of my head, my hair shimmering burnished gold in the light.

"It's been a week," I mumbled into his chest, and he tensed. "I have to go back."

"No, you don't," He growled.

But I did. I had to go back, for Tamlin. Because he was making an effort. And because I didn't want Rhys to be anywhere near if I lost control again. He sighed in defeat, and his power began to twirl around us.

The night sky draped around me, a wind blowing across my face and hair, and-

Sunlight. The suffocating scent of roses. Lucien caught sight of me through the window and started to rush toward us. Rhys' cocky grin was back. "I'll see you next week." He let me go.

Just give a shout if you're ever bored. I could hear the undercurrent of worry in his voice, even in my mind.

I just turned away.

~Ω~

Tamlin grilled me for details on the castle, and I gave him what he wanted to hear. I said that Mor didn't come back, I said that he left me alone. I told him that the walls were white and the curtains fluttered in the breeze. I didn't tell him about the ice. Or the voices. Or what had happened between Rhys and me.

And maybe I was a treacherous, lying piece of trash for it, but I didn't feel bad.

As the days went by, I stopped eating. I went from eating whenever possible to eating once a day, and little at that. My cheeks and eyes were hollow, my eye lifeless, missing their spark. I looked worse than when I lived in the mortal realm.

I lost hope that it would get better.

I normally woke up at around dinner and often didn't bother to set my face into a pleasant expression as I dragged myself down to the dining room.

I was relieved when Tamlin stopped coming to my rooms. I was relieved when he was called off the grounds. I couldn't see his face when he told me to stay.

So when I walked down after finishing another book, ready for dinner, I hadn't expected someone would be there.

But here he was.

Blond hair, pine-green eyes. Steel jaw, high cheekbones, pointed ears. Hard eyes.

"Feyre."

I waited. He didn't continue. So I turned, and walked back up the stairs, and settled back into bed.

So I welcomed the headache that cut through my thoughts like a knife through a ribbon.

And slept. And slept. And slept.