#####OQ#####
Her phone rang and she frowned and stopped writing code, thinking the unknown number was vaguely familiar. Placing her tablet on Oliver's bed in CCU, she answered. "Hello?"
"Felicity, what exactly happened to Ollie? Is he better this morning? I want to I talk to him?"
"Thea," Felicity said sharply, wishing she could go back to killing time writing code. She frowned, knowing that Thea was the very last person she wanted to talk to right now, well, besides her mother.
Sighing, she said, "Yes, he's better, but, no, you can't talk to him. He's out of room, having tests run."
"What tests?"
"I don't know exactly." Now, she was starting to panic a little. What was she going to say to Thea? What would Oliver want her to tell her?
Nothing was the answer, and she knew it. And if she wasn't careful, she would give out too much information. Biting her bottom lip for an instant, she considered what she could tell Thea.
"I know they have taken more blood, and he was headed to x-ray, and Mae wanted to give him a MRI and a chemical stress test but she didn't know if he would," she stopped herself mid-babble, before she could say the words freak out and have another panic attack or maybe worse a flashback during the tests. None of which would be good.
"Would what?"
Think, she told herself.
"Be able to handle the tests." That at least sounded better, until she added, "His blood pressure was up yesterday. So, they're checking his heart, and whatever else, Mae has scheduled for him this morning. And Mae's been trying to talk him into canceling the team's first practice, but he's resisting. He wants released so he can go to practice."
"Ollie's stubborn like that. And Mae's his doctor? Good. He trusts her judgment. But, his blood pressure was up? What's wrong with him? I want to talk to Mae, as soon as I land. Does this town even have a taxi service or a car rental? Or can you come and pick me up?"
"You're landing? Where? Oh, oh, do you mean here? Now?"
Oh frack, Oliver's going to seriously freak out now. "But, I told John to tell you to wait. Not to come. And, you know who Mae is?"
"I remember Mae was your doctor, and my brother and I talked every day you were sick. The only reason I didn't visit when you were sick was that he didn't want me to. I don't think he wanted me to see him out of control. So I talked to him every day, and Dig and I helped keep everyone posted."
"I never really knew that you knew he was having problems, when I was sick."
"Oh, course I knew. He's my brother. And yes, Dig told me what you said, but I wasn't waiting this time. Felicity, yes, I mean I'm here."
"Here? Here?"
Oh, this was bad, very bad.
"Yes, here, here. Circling above your head, waiting on clearance to land. And of, course, I came. Ollie's my brother, the only family I have left, except Malcolm, and I'm still not really claiming Daddy dearest at the moment. I had to come and make sure he was all right. See him with my own eyes. Plus, I haven't seen either of you in months, which means it was time for a visit. I miss you both. So I hopped a jet."
"Oh, of course you did."
Great, just great, like she didn't have enough problems, she thought, but she said, "We miss you too, but he's going to be fine, Thea. I'm sorry I worried you."
Heaven help her now she was using that word to lie, for she wasn't totally sure after yesterday if he really was going to be FINE.
He truthfully could have died. His blood pressure had been high enough to cause a heart attack or a stroke or could have damaged major organs, including his kidneys or his sight. He wasn't even close to fine, but she couldn't tell Thea that, for it wasn't her place.
Only this morning, Mae had refused to schedule a chemical stress test and several other tests. And Oliver's face hadn't been pretty when Mae told him that the last thing he needed was a real heart attack and if yesterday was any indication, his PTSD wasn't under control. So the tests could be dangerous.
And Mae still didn't know what'd caused his blood pressure to spike, didn't know why his body had decided to stop regulating his blood pressure. And all Felicity knew was he'd had a flashback over a man named Mike, who'd been stitching his chest. Not enough to explain why the triggers were causing the flashbacks.
The only clues she had, since he stubbornly refused to talk about the dreams or the flashbacks, were a small cage, and whoever had given him those two scars on his back and chest. That person had to be who was pushing him over the edge, but she didn't have a clue who that person was, or why he was haunting him right now. Oh, yes, he was differently her own personal puzzle.
Thea's impatient voice broke into her thoughts. "Well, he wasn't fine yesterday, when you called Dig panicked saying Ollie'd collapsed, and you thought he was having a heart attack. Then you texted to say he was in CCU. Critical care, Felicity. I was in CCU on life support and so were you!"
"Yeah, you have a point there."
"A point. Look, people in CCU are hardly FINE. There's a reason they call it CRITICAL CARE. Now, what's WRONG with my brother?"
"I guess I shouldn't have done that. Sorry, I was upset at the time."
Yeah, that was dumb, that had been inviting Thea and maybe more of them to come. And why had she answered this call? It would have been easy to hit the ignore button.
She did it all the time to her mother.
Not that it would have made Thea go away, since it never worked for her mother. She always called back. But at least she wouldn't be having this conversation right now.
"That's not an answer. Is my brother rubbing off on you are what? He lies the best, you know?"
"Yeah, I've noticed."
"I'll bet but, regardless, I got on the plane. What's the use of owning a private jet if you can't use it?"
"I wouldn't know. Is anyone else with you?"
Please say no, she prayed.
"Laurel wanted to come, but she couldn't get away because she has court today. And, Dig's still upset with Ollie over the whole league thing, so he wouldn't even discuss coming, but he was clearly worried about him. And did you honestly think I wouldn't come? He's my brother. My only brother and I have already lost him more than once."
"No, of course, you should come and be with him, but I texted you this morning that he was improving and not to worry."
"I'm on a jet talking on a satellite phone. My cell phone doesn't work in the air, so I turned it off to save the battery. I haven't gotten your text."
"Oh."
"But hopefully in about twenty minutes, I'll need a ride. We're circling the airport right now. You'd think this town has never had a private jet land before. Now can you come and pick me up, or do I need to see about renting a car? And you still haven't answered my question. What happened to my brother?"
Oh, frack, she was saying repeatedly in her head. What should she tell Thea? That her always in control brother, the man who normally took control to new heights had recently lost his control?
Or maybe that his PTSD flashbacks stressed him straight into a panic attack and he'd collapsed?
Or, maybe should she tell Thea her brother experienced nightmares bad enough he screamed in his sleep?
Or should she tell her that his PTSD caused him to zone out completely, while he was awake, and from the looks of things, had been bad enough that a name had caused him to hyperventilate and had spiked his blood pressure so high it'd landed him in CCU?
Oliver would be seriously upset, if she told Thea any of the above.
He was already going to freak right out when he found out Thea was here. Oh, FRACK! His blood pressure was going to shoot straight back up again, and she didn't know if she could get him to stay another night in the hospital, threats or not.
And her threat that she didn't want him to come home if he checked himself out was just that, a threat. She was so addicted to him that she could never let him go.
"Felicity? Have I lost you?"
"No, I'm still here. Look, Thea, you'll have to ask your brother exactly what's wrong with him, for it's not my place to answer that question. But yes, I'll come and pick you up and you can stay with us, but you'll have to sleep on the couch. The place we're renting is a one bedroom."
"No, that's okay. You can come and pick me up, but I'll rent a motel, and probably a car too, since I'm sure the two of you are still all over each other, and right now, I'm currently single, so I prefer not to hear or witness that."
"Thea!"
And Felicity could feel the blush creeping on her face, for what Thea had said was very true, and even right now she couldn't wait to get him home. It had now been over 24 hours, since, she had last touched him, and how she wanted to touch him. And that little make out session last night had only made her want him more.
"I know my brother, Felicity. You two are having sex. A lot of sex. And I prefer not to watch or hear. Trust me, unless, he's too sick to have sex, I'm not staying with the two of you."
"Please, Thea, stop. You're embarrassing me." Thoughts of last night crept into her mind, for no, he wasn't too sick to not initiate sex.
"You need to get over that, since you're living with my brother, who I know for a fact, when he was young got caught more than once having sex in inappropriate places. I can't believe he hasn't . . ."
"Thea! Stop. I don't want to know that, and no way I'm I having this conversation with you." Like she didn't already know that since they'd been busted more than once now. At least, Thea couldn't see her blushing through the phone.
"I'm his sister, and sometimes, I wonder who's more grownup here? But, he's not really sick is he? He didn't have a heart attack? Tell me he didn't have a heart attack."
"No, he did not." And she also wondered if Thea was more grownup then her. If nothing else, sometimes, Thea seemed to have more life experience, almost an aura around her, especially after her dip in the pit.
"Then what happened? I mean isn't not like he has cancer or a tumor or something? Tell me the truth. Everyone used to lie to me all the time. What is it with my family lying to me, withholding the truth from me?"
"Maybe they're trying to protect you, trying to keep you safe."
"Well, it didn't work did it? But, I don't think you've lied to me yet, Felicity, so tell me the truth. What's WRONG with my brother?"
"I can't tell you. But no, it's nothing like cancer. You just need to talk to him. I don't think he would want me to discuss it with you."
"Well at least you're telling me the truth, unlike Ollie. I just wish everyone would get over this need to protect me from the truth. I'm an adult, and I wish people would start acting like I am."
"I agree."
"I mean they need to wake up. In the last year, I've buried my mother, lost Roy twice, died and been pit resurrected. I am what could be called a living, breathing, zombie."
"Now that's taking it a little far. I haven't noticed you eating people."
Thea laughed then added, "No, but I'm strong enough to take the truth. Remember I shot Ollie in the wrist with an arrow to protect Dig. And now, I'm running around in a red suit protecting people in my spare time. I think I can handle whatever you're keeping from me about my brother."
"I'm sure you can. It's just not my place to tell you."
"Ollie and his always trying to protect me because I might get upset if I know just needs to stop. And now he's managing to get you do it too. Really, I can handle it if you tell me. Tell me the truth."
Guilt filled her because Thea was right.
Not that she thought he'd see it that way. "I understand your frustration, Thea, but I can't tell you. You'll have to talk to your brother."
"Fine, I'll do just that. Well, then tell me what you can. Tell me whatever he won't get upset about. Help kill time until they finally let the plane land. I understand that you and him are complicated. But I also know that he really loves you, and I'm glad. He's been alone too long. And he's been happy lately. I love it. I can hear it in his voice when I talk to him. Thank you, Felicity."
"For what?"
"For making him happy. He deserves to be happy. Now tell me what happened?"
Sighing, she shut her eyes to steady herself, before she opened them. "I came home from upgrading the hospital's network, and watched him clutch his chest and just collapse onto the porch. And you're right I panicked. It wasn't like I haven't seen him unconscious enough times to know he was out, but normally he's bleeding or injected with something."
"Injected with something? Bleeding?"
"Forget I said that, he wouldn't want you to know that."
"Well of course he wouldn't. Okay, I get that he got hurt sometimes. No doubt caused by how he's been spending his nights for the last three years. Go on." Thea said dryly.
"And believe me I know he doesn't want me to call 911, but it was what he said that made me. And I needed help. I didn't have a prayer of being able to lift him, and I thought he was having a heart attack."
"Oh, course you should have called 911. No matter what Ollie said about it later. What was he say before he collapsed?"
A text pinged and she saw Cisco's face popped up. "How's he doing this morning? Any news? Should we come?"
Oh frack, no, she didn't need more of them coming. Not that she didn't love their friends, but Oliver would be beside himself if more people knew he had a panic attack that had landed him in CCU.
"Felicity, are you there? What did he say that made you think he was having a heart attack?"
"I'm still here. Just got a text from Cisco, he's wondering about Oliver."
"Cisco's kind of cute in a nerdy kind of way. But what did he say when he fell out.?"
"He said he couldn't breathe and his chest hurt. He was dizzy and confused. I thought my heart was going to stop when he clutched his chest and fell out. I could tell he was out of control, not like Oliver at all. Then he just collapsed. I didn't know what else to do but call 911. Thea, I CALLED 911."
"You did the right thing."
"I know but I've spent three years playing doctor with him and have never called 911. And I didn't just say that to you. I didn't mean playing doctor. I meant playing doctor. Oh, never mind."
Thea laughed then said, "What he doing before you called 911? What caused this?"
"From the mess on the porch, he'd been reading his soccer team's files. He'd been out that afternoon doing recon on his team. I didn't know what happened because he still hasn't debriefed."
Another text pinged and this time she saw John's name.
"Lyla is wondering how he is this morning."
And Felicity thought, right, John, and you don't care. You're just officially almost reaching out to Oliver. John, who, wouldn't even discuss his friend, with her the last few weeks. She wanted to do a fist pump because clearly Dig was the one wondering.
"But you said he was better today? Was he mad you call 911?"
"Not really and yes, he's much better this morning and his blood pressure's only slightly up. And that's maybe his normal."
"So this has to do with his blood pressure doesn't it?"
"I didn't say that."
"Yes, you did. And Ollie's barely thirty. He's not supposed to have high blood pressure at his age. Something's wrong. I think he needs to come home and get checked out, Felicity. Yes, we finally have clearance to land. Come and pick me up."
Oh, frack, she thought, but she said, "Okay I'm on my way."
And since she'd forgotten his phone yesterday, she couldn't warn him that his was sister here, and she wanted him to return to Starling City.
Another text pinged and Laurel's face came up. "How is he? Has Thea landed yet?"
"Thanks for the late heads up, Laurel." She said out loud, and then groaned because this was getting out of control quickly.
And all these people, including Oliver, stressed her. And she was sure that he'd sweep his illness under the rug, just as quickly as he could. Yes, the man would do his normal this never happened to me thing, and leave her to deal with all their friend's questions, of this, she had no doubt.
Quickly, she typed out a mass text to all of them, assuring them Oliver was lots better, as she wondered how he'd handled all these people when she'd been sick?
As the elevator opened and there stood Barry, dressed like the Flash, she screamed.
"Sorry to scare you. How is he?"
"Oh, frack, Barry. Talk about giving me a heart attack. What if someone sees you? Meet me outside in the parking lot. The silver Porsche."
"Felicity, you and I need to work on keeping my identity secret. See you there."
And he was gone in a flash, leaving her chewing on her lip, as she tried to figure out what to tell everyone. No way was Oliver going with the truth here, no way at all.
OH FRACK!
#####OQ#####
"Now what is wrong with Oliver?"
"That seems to be the question of the day and one I can't answer." Felicity said, "You need to ask him, yourself. I can't tell you, Barry. And you need real clothes. You're going to draw attention to yourself in that suit."
Barry disappeared, then reappeared in a sweat suit, as he stowed a bag on the seat.
"I won't ask where you got those clothes."
"No, probably not a good idea. But don't worry, I'll return them. And, I just talked to Cisco, and seriously Oliver had a panic attack that spiked his blood pressure? That's unreal."
"Oh, frack, I need to fix that blasted firewall. And encrypt Oliver's medical records. Who's going to be angry you know by the way. And I'm still not talking to you about this. All I can say is talk to him."
"Yeah and we both know he's such a chatty guy."
Her phone went off and Thea's face came up. "I have to go to the airport to pick up Thea, and you can't come since the car is a two seater. Hey, could you go and find Oliver and warn him, I mean tell him Thea's here."
"Sure. I can do that." He said with a grin.
Ping. And Caitlin's face came up along with the message, "Is he trying to DIE? His blood pressure's too high. What's his doctor doing?"
"Caitlin?" asked Barry.
"Yes and an upset Caitlin. Thanks, Cisco. Oh, but, he's going to blow a gasket when he finds out. Work with me here."
He smiled at her.
"Please, don't stress him. He really needs to stop stressing. His blood pressure can't take it."
"Wow, high blood pressure. Who would have thought the Arrow could have high blood pressure?"
#####OQ#####
"Barry?" He was shocked to see his friend standing, by the window looking at him.
He'd just made it back to the room, in a wheel chair, which he hated, and Felicity was gone.
Where was she?
"Back in the bed. Mae's orders," His nurse, Becky, wheeled him beside the bed and checked his IV.
"Sure thing." He knew Becky from Felicity time in CCU, and he knew fighting her wasn't going to get him anywhere. So, he'd do what she wanted, and as soon as she left the room, he'd get up.
Barry came toward him with his hand extended. "Glad to see you're feeling better. And I don't suppose you want to talk about what happened yesterday?"
"No, I don't," Becky when out the do and he stood and shook Barry's hand.
"Felicity refused to tell me why you're in CCU too."
"Where is Felicity? And thanks for taking the time to run down here, but I'm getting released soon. No worries."
"Really, what's going on with you? It's not like I don't already know you have PTSD. But you must have had one bad panic attack to spike your blood pressure that high."
His stomach fell. "I did not have a . . . Never mind. How would you know that?"
"You've met my friend Cisco? Talk to me, my friend. What is going on with you? I heard you're coaching soccer, surely that can't be that stressful after all you've been through?"
"Of course, it isn't. Damn, Cisco hacked my medical records didn't he? Who else knows?" His voice turned low and dark.
His mind whirled since that meant that Barry's team knew. What would they think? Would they think he was weak, out of control?
What if it was true? His heart sped up and his stomach plunged.
"You think you're the only one with a hacker on your team? Speaking of which, oh, yeah, I forgot. I'm supposed to tell you that Felicity went to pick up your sister at the airport."
"Thea?" Breathing became hard. His chest tightened and the possibility he could have another panic attack, one that would skyrocket his blood pressure back up, suddenly seemed very real.
Trying to control his fury, he tried to push the anger down, but the very thought that now more people knew he hadn't been in control and that he had PTSD, was smothering him, and he had to force himself to listen to Barry.
"Yeah, Thea. I actually met your sister this summer. Sweet kid. I like the red suit."
He smiled against his will, thinking about Thea as Speedy. "You would, since red is your color. But Thea's here?"
Now what was he going to do? What was he going to tell her?
"Yes she is. Now the truth. What's going on with you?"
What was he going to tell Barry, or Thea? She was going to demand answers, and Mae would, no doubt, give them to her, unless he somehow kept Thea from talking to Mae. Like that was going to happen. If there was one thing his sister excelled in, it was getting her own way. What was he going to do?
"Barry, really, I can't talk about this right now."
His door opened and Becky stuck her head in. "What are you doing? The tech just called and said your heart rate's picked up?"
"I'm fine, Becky. Just give me a minute."
She frowned at him then said, "Alright, but you had better calm down and get back in the bed."
"Your heart rate's up just from thinking about whatever's bothering you, Oliver. What is going on with you? Maybe you need to talk about this."
"Look, I can't talk about it. You don't understand."
"Okay, maybe, I don't, but you need to understand that we are all here for you. We're your friends, and we're not judging you. And, we're going to stand by you. Panic attacks or not."
"I did not have a . . ." The words would not come out of his mouth.
"You can't even say the words."
His hands were clinched now. "Thanks, for the concern and the support. But I'm going to be fine."
"Hey, if you remember I'm your friend and know you have had hallucinations before, and we all have some type of issue that embarrasses us."
The look he gave Barry made him back up and put his hands palms up with the words, "Not that I am saying you're embarrassed but if you were, I'm just saying that each of us is struggling with something. Look at me. My entire life has been drama. First losing my parents, and then I got struck by lightning and when then I woke up."
He put his hands on his pockets' "Well, as you know, I woke up different, and I had to find people to help me. You were one of those people who helped me cope with my gift, to come to terms with it. So, I'm here for you. What can I do to help you? Are you having hallucinations, flashbacks maybe? Do you want to talk about your PSTD?"
Looked at his feet, he felt honored by Barry heartfelt words, as he said quietly, "No, I don't want to talk about it. I can't even say the letters out loud, yet."
"Maybe you need some help dealing with it, coming to terms with you PSTD."
"Stop saying those letters, Barry."
"We've all have known it for a long time. Look at what you used to do with your evenings. And we all want to help you. We're concerned about you. And it's the truth. You have PSTD."
"All right, maybe, I do. But, thanks, you've already helped me by being here for me. But I can't talk about it. I don't know how to deal with that time in my life. I've buried it so deep that I just don't how to talk about it."
"But those memories don't seem to be staying buried. I know from experience. I've been lucky and had Iris to talk to. Maybe you need to talk to someone, too. Maybe you need to make peace with your past. Need to stop letting it control you."
"I don't know if I can." He hung his head.
"Well what you are doing doesn't seem to be working. And you're scaring Felicity, and if you haven't noticed she loves you."
"I know that."
"And, I've watched the two of you struggle and suffer because you wouldn't reach for each other, maybe you were scared, but face it, you love her too. Well maybe it is a wakeup call, and you need to figure out what is going on with your body, so you live to be with her. I saw your numbers, and they were bad. Like you could have died yesterday bad."
"I know." He met Barry's eyes. "And you're right, I love her."
"I knew that a long time ago. But you know what? I have to admit I'm enjoying the fact you were wrong."
"About what?"
"About sometimes guys like us do get the girl. You give me hope."
"Barry, sometimes I don't mind being wrong." And he smiled, realizing his friend wasn't judging him for having PTSD or for losing control. Then, he said, "Thanks for coming. You made me feel better."
"Us heroes have to hang together, you know." And Barry smiled back. "But even though I know it's not in you DNA makeup, maybe you need to ask for help. You need to find someone to talk to. Find someone who can help you put the past into the past, where it belongs."
"I can't talk to a stranger about my past. I've thought about it a lot lately. I can't even talk to my friends about my past."
"But Felicity?"
"I've tried. The words won't come out. And Felicity and I have discussed this subject a lot lately."
"Well that's a step in the right direction, so keep discussing it with her and maybe the words will come out. What you need to remember is you can trust her, with anything you tell her, and we both know you trust her the most."
"I don't suppose you told Thea about what happened yesterday?"
"No, sorry, she not a member of my team. You're going to have to tell her."
"How, do I do that?"
"How did you tell her you were the Arrow?"
He shrugged. "I just told her."
"Seems like that would be the answer then. Look, I have to run. Take care of yourself."
#####OQ#####
Thea ran to him when she entered the room. And he enfolded her in his arms. Felicity hung back, giving them a minute.
"Shh, I'm okay. I'm sorry I scared you. Everything is going to be fine. I'm better today."
"Would you stop lying, Ollie? I'm so damn mad at you right now."
While he hugged her, he met Felicity's eyes, and she shrugged and shook her head, which he took to mean telling Thea what happened would be his problem.
Thea pulled away from him. "I want to talk to your doctor."
"She's not here right now."
"Well, when she is here? I want to talk to her. And aren't you supposed to be in the bed?"
"I'm not sick. They're just monitoring my blood pressure."
"Then why are you in CCU?"
"Well. . . I." And for the life of him, he couldn't think of a good lie.
Felicity said, "I'm going to get some coffee. Thea, do you want some coffee?"
"No, I'm good."
"I'll take a cup."
"No caffeine for you. Mae's orders."
He frowned deeply. "I'm over Mae's orders. And don't you dare bring me decaf."
"Doesn't sound like you're getting coffee then." And she gave him one of those wonderful smiles of hers.
Thea said, "You should listen to your doctor, Ollie. Now humor me and get in the bed."
"Okay." And he climbed back in the bed, hating it but wanting to please his sister.
"Ollie, what is wrong with your blood pressure? And why am I not surprised that you have PSTD and somehow a flashback spiked your blood pressure? I remember you had nightmares when you came home. This makes everything much clearer. No wonder you act the way you do."
"Felicity told you?" He was shocked, yet, relieved she knew.
"No, she only told me that you were having blood pressure problems, and that you didn't have a heart attack. Now, tell me what is wrong with you?"
He turned his head away from her and forced himself to say the words, "I have PTSD and I had a. . ."
"Panic attack?" Thea filled in the blank for him and he winced.
"I did not have a panic attack, Thea." He would die denying it. "I was just . . ."
"Yes, you did. And as usual you're lying to me. I know because Caitlin called me before Felicity could pick me up. She told me everything that is in your chart. You almost died, Ollie. What is going on with you?"
Silently, he thanked Caitlin for telling her, and then wondered if Barry hadn't had something to do with Caitlin's call to Thea?
Barry really was his friend.
"Ollie, you need help. You need to ask for help. Next time you might not be so lucky. I want you to come back to Star City for more tests."
"Star City?"
"They renamed it to honor, Ray Palmer."
"Well that's nice." Just what he wanted to be reminded of, Ray. Just his name was enough to make him frown, to make the rage light up in his stomach.
"Ollie? Where are you? Are you listening to me?"
"I'm here. But I'm not going back yet. I want to coach my soccer team. I have to stay here at least through the season."
"But, I want you to come home. You can have the loft. I have been staying with Laurel most of the time now anyway. And, I'm worried about you."
"I know you are, and I'm sorry I worried you. But I like my doctor, here. Mae understands me, and I trust her, which is hard, for believe it or not, Thea, I have real trust issues. I can't let just anyone treat me, so I need to stay here."
Thea gave him a look that said she understood. "Okay, but I'm staying a few days. At least until Mae releases you. And I'm here to see that goofy grin Felicity keeps talking about." Then she leaned in and kissed his cheek.
"Okay." And he gave her a small grin. "I'll try to grin just for you."
"#####OQ#####
A while later, Felicity and Thea left to rent Thea a car and find her a hotel room, and he paced, fighting sleep, when Mae came in. "How are you feeling?"
"Better. Send me home. I have practice today."
"Get in the bed. You look tired. Why don't you take a nap? I hear you haven't slept since you've been here."
"Have my tests came back?"
"Most of them, yes. Your heart's strong, no sign of stroke, low cancer counts, kidneys are functioning correctly and luckily the attack didn't seem to affect your eyes. You're a lucky man. You could have died."
"I'm harder to kill than I look, Mae."
"I bet you are, but you do have pre-hypertension and for some reason your body decided to spike your blood pressure into a hypertensive crisis."
"I'm sure I would have been fine."
"Hard head. You might not believe this, but if you haven't come in the emergency room yesterday, I think you'd have died. You're damn lucky you didn't lose your vision or your kidneys over the attack."
"I don't think that I would have died. I haven't died yet, but I do want to say thank you for coming to the ER yesterday." He looked down for a minute, before he said, "I didn't want to hurt anyone, and they were overwhelming me. But I'm better today. All well now and I am more than ready to go home."
"You're better because your blood pressure's down. Your nose was bleeding for heaven's sake, and you were about to stroke out. And after I talked to Felicity, I knew you were going to have a problem in the ER, that your PTSD was going to get the better of you."
He growled as she said the letters.
"Now, I know you're not going to like this but I want you to face this, I'm not ready to release you. I want you to take a couple more tests, a stress test for one."
"No, release me, Mae. I'll come back for the tests. But today is first soccer practice, and I need to meet my team. I can't look weak to them." He could feel the panic starting, and he forced himself to go on. He had to convince her, had to stay in control.
"And canceling would make me look weak."
"I don't agree with you."
"But the team's already going to know I was in the hospital and that's bad enough. I promise we're not going to practice today. All of them need shoes and practice clothes to play soccer. It's a good thing Warren still has money in that grant because putting 20 teens in running shoes alone is going to cost a small fortune, so real practice won't start until next week."
"Then you don't have to be there."
Well that had backfired. He grimaced.
"But?"
"But nothing. You're not going to be there. You need to call Ned and have him meet the team and have him send them for shoes and clothes. I'm not ready to cut you loose yet. I still don't know what happened to you, so you need to give me more time."
"I've given you almost 24 hours."
"It's not enough and I want to start you on a blood pressure medication and monitor you for at least 24 hours to see how it is working to make sure you aren't having a reaction to it."
"I'm too young to be on blood pressure medication. I don't want that." His heart started to pound. His breath becoming short gasps again.
He couldn't stay here. Anywhere but here.
"Breath deeper. I see your fighting your anxiety right now. Do you want me to give you shot?"
"No, I don't want a shot." How dare she offer to give him a shot.
"How about a chill pill?"
"NO."
"Then calm down. Did you like how you felt yesterday?"
"No."
"Right answer, now do you want to live? If so, you need to understand that I don't know why your body isn't working correctly. And give me a little more time to figure it out."
"I can't stay another night." Now he worried she truly wasn't going to release him today. Jesus, he was going to have to sleep, and his stomach was starting to get a bad feeling.
"Just say it, you can't sleep here. You haven't slept since you have been here. And if you stay you'll dream. Right? You wake up screaming won't you? You need help. I'm going to refer you to a friend of mine. You need to talk to him. Let him help you."
"No. I don't want to talk about it. And I darn sure don't want to talk to a stranger about my issues."
"Why not? You need to try. Let me introduce you to Riley. If you don't want to talk to a stranger, then get to know him. He could help you. I could help you, if you'd let me. And Riley has been through the wringer himself. I think you'd like him."
"No."
"You need stop being stubborn and understand what happened yesterday wasn't a fluke. Your body failed to regulate your blood pressure. It can happen again at any time. I could release you, and you could be right back in the ER this evening. Do you want that? And what if I'm not here next time? What if they sedate you next time?"
That stopped him cold, for he understood Felicity would call 911 again on him, since she wanted him to live. But the idea of staying the night caused his heart to race, caused his anxiety to kick up.
"Release me or I'll walk out. Mae, I'm leaving. I can't stay here. Too many people are watching. This is too small of a town. Look, I want to coach and my team already knows too much about me."
"That's the way it is in small towns. Gossip makes the world go round."
His voice darkened. "Not in my world. I can't STAY another night. My blood pressure's better now, and I'm under control. Mae, I can't look weak to my team. I stayed one night. Now, you're going to release me, and I AM going to practice."
Mae gave him a look that said she understood, and then she shook her head, as she pointed her finger at him. "Oliver, that's a really good threatening voice you have there. I can tell you've practiced it, but, as a mother I have one too. NO, I'm NOT releasing you. And, I BURIED my son, and I know for sure Felicity doesn't want to bury you."
"I am . . ."
"Did I say you could talk? Thought not. Now you are staying another night and giving me enough time to get your blood pressure under control because the next time it spikes you might not be so lucky. And you are going to go on blood pressure meds and are going to come and see me in the office for checkups. Do we understand each other?"
"I'm too young for this."
"No, you're not. Not with your PTSD and your stress levels. Now, I'm going to start you tomorrow on a blood pressure medicine called prazosin. And I want you to take your first dose in controlled atmosphere to see how you tolerate the medication. It could make you pass out and if you are going to do that, I would prefer you do it here."
"Now, I really don't want to take it."
"Hopefully, you won't even notice it and one of the nice things it is supposed to do, is treat anxiety and some studies had seen success in treating nightmares in PTSD patients."
"I don't believe a pill could make my dreams go away."
If only it could be that easy, he thought.
"Well, at least give it a chance. You'll need to take it a few weeks for it to start to work on the nightmares. Regardless, I'm not releasing you, but I will knock you out tonight. I'll sedate you so deeply you can't dream. Now you need to deal with the fact you're staying, and call Ned because you're staying until I figure out what is wrong with you."
"I could just walk out."
"Yes, you could, but I hear your sister's here, and I would bet between Felicity and her, they'd haul you back."
Now, he frowned.
"All right, with that out of the way. Tell me how many days since you have slept? The truth, please! I can't help you if you don't tell the truth!"
He felt like Raisa had just scolded him for stealing cookies, and he said quietly, "I don't know. Over a week. A long time. I did sleep five hours the other day." He hung his head, before he added, "My . . ."
"Go on."
"My dreams wake me up. I've slept maybe three or four hours a night. Some nights probably more like two."
She nodded at him. "Thank you for the truth. I'm wondering if your not sleeping could have triggered the high blood pressure problems? Hmm? That's a lot of time on your hands. What have you been doing with yourself? I know you don't watch TV."
He said a little sheepishly, "Kicking a soccer ball up and down the beach. I'm getting a lot better at controlling the ball. And, Mae, why your husband chose soccer is beyond me."
And Mae gave a small laugh, as she stood and softly patted his arm before she said, "Me too. But, if nothing else, you're being productive. Now, I'm not going to lose you. And like it or not, you're going to let me help you. I want you to live to marry Felicity, to have children and to have a life together. And to do that you have to take blood pressure medicine." And her green eyes looked straight into his.
And it was almost like he could see her soul.
And Mae's soul was bleeding, weeping blood. She was still clearly mourning her son.
Her soulful look swept him away. Yes, she was still mourning her son, but who could blame her? Losing a child had to be one of the worst things that could happen to a person. His mother had certainly tried to make him understand that fact.
"Okay. I'll take the pill."
And then she smiled slightly and turned and walked away.
#####OQ#####
Felicity returned and ask, "Has Mae been in?"
"Yeah, she's making me stay another night, so she can monitor my reaction to a new blood pressure medicine that she says might help my nightmares. Can I use your phone? I need to call Ned. It looks like I'm not going to practice."
"You're not going to practice? Really?" And she hugged him, and smiled, as she kissed him soundly, pulling away too soon.
"Wow, what was that for?"
"For choosing life, and for choosing us." Then she leaned her forehead against his and said simply, "I love you."
"I love you too, but I want you to go home. You and Thea go get some takeout and have a girl's night."
She pulled her head away from him and said, "Thea came to see you not me. And I don't know what to talk to her about. I don't know what you don't want her to know. And if you are going to sleep, I'm staying here."
"No, go home. Get some rest. And tell her anything you want, Felicity. I'm trying to be truthful with her. She knows a lot of my secrets already. So, share whatever you want."
"Truly? That's wonderful. I would really like to be friends with Thea, but not being able to tell her the truth makes it hard. But I thought you wanted me to sleep with you if you stayed?"
The smile she gave him gave him a lot of ideas, but none of which, he could act on right now. "I want you two to be friends. But, Mae's going to put me to sleep, and I guess I need the rest. And there's no way, I can get any rest with you in that bed with me."
"You're going to let Mae put you to sleep? Really, first you tell me I can tell Thea anything, and now you are going to sleep willingly. Who are you and what have you done with Oliver?"
He grinned before he said, "Very funny. And I mean it, go home because you are not sleeping with me."
"Raincheck then?" The smile she gave him ignited his very blood.
"For sure."
"But, if you're not leaving then I'm not leaving." And she winked at him.
"Okay," he said, barely keeping himself in check, as she reached for his hand, and he was glad she was staying, staying with him.
#####OQ#####
"Are you allergic to eggs, Oliver?"
"No."
"Good."
Mae reached for his IV and inserted the needle. For just a second he reached out and stilled her hand, and then he said, "No one touches me when I'm asleep, Mae. It's not a good idea."
"Of course it isn't." She injected the medicine, and he was already starting to feel lightheaded. Suddenly, he wanted to stop this.
"Wait, you're sure I won't dream?"
"No dreams, just nice restful sleep." Mae assured him.
"Felicity?" He was losing consciousness, and he didn't want this, since he knew the dark waited and only bad things were in the dark. Panic rose, choking him.
"Shh, I'm right here, Oliver. Don't worry, just rest." He felt her take his hand, and he calmed down, just felt her hand.
"I'm here too," said Thea, grasping his other hand. "Go to sleep, Ollie. It's going to be okay."
"I've heard that before and it's never okay, trust me."
"My brother the pessimism."
"I'm a realist." And the darkness sucked him down.
#####OQ#####