Under The Gun

XxXxX

At school, there were a few posts on the student bulletin board.

"To staff and students.

Welcome to a new year at Peach Creek High School. I hope you all had a great summer, but more than that, I hope you're all ready for another year at our fine school.

The staff would like to remind students that online cyber bullying is most definitely not allowed in our student community. Any student who is guilty of such an act may be liable for suspension, expulsion, or even legal action depending on how serious the offense is.

Be mindful of what you do and what you say. Remember, you represent not only yourselves, but your school and your peers.

Another reminder is that, due to the influx of social media and constant distractions with it, usage of cell phones and other media devices will no longer be tolerated during classes.

Principal Underwood and Administrative Staff

Have a good year or not, it's your choice."

"Join the Agricultural Club today!

See Rolf Shepard for details!"

"FOUND: someone's cell phone that's password protected, it has some kinda monster movie poster for wallpaper. Pick up at the Lost 'n Found in the cafeteria."

XxXxX

From: MrScience

To: MasterJJ

Subject: RE: how r da states?

Dear Juan,

It's been about a week since I've been home. Aside from the fact that all of us aren't kids anymore, the neighborhood surely hasn't changed much since I left it. Everyone has welcomed me back in open arms. Aside from, well, Eddy.

I know, you told me to forget about him. My obsession with him was incredibly unhealthy and it lead to a lot of trouble. But I wish to mend fences, he and Ed have been dear friends of mine since our toddler years and I could never forgive myself if I were to lose him as a companion for good.

He certainly has … changed since we last met. You know I don't really use MyBook or any of those social media sites, so it was rather shocking to see how he'd changed physically. You can see him in the attached photo, and I'd wager you will exclaim "Eddward! He's totally your type!" when you see it. Again, I swear I will not pursue him as I've had. I don't want another disaster.

I decided to at least try to talk to him about it. He may not want to, but I know he must want to put it to rest as much as I do. I mean, why else would he send me that letter? The two of us need to be adults about this and bury the hatchet so we can move on.

After that, well, I'll still be here in the US to continue my education. I'm sorry Juan, but this is my home and I wish to make a life for myself here. I hope you can forgive me, I'll always treasure the time we've spent together and the memories we've made.

With love,

Eddward

P.S.

Could you please delete those pictures you took of me? I know you promised never to post them online but I still feel paranoid about it. Especially the one you took showing me without my hat.

XxXxX

Dear Diary,

Mom bitched me out AGAIN. I don't know what her fucking deal is, but this is, like, the third time in the past WEEK. This time it was because she claimed I wasn't doing my homework. For cryin' out loud, it's the FIRST WEEK of school, so there really ISN'T much homework aside from some reading assignments. Aside from that, me and Jimmy ALREADY DID IT during study hall. I tell her this, and she SCREAMS at me for talking back.

What the hell crawled up her butt and die? I only told her that I already had my homework finished so she wouldn't worry about it. I talked to Jimmy about this, and he says she's probably just stressed due to work. I could buy that, my mom's working at the local community college after all. She teaches Women/Gender Studies to a bunch of freaks and I have no idea how she hasn't cracked yet.

Early this week, she nearly had a heart attack because she could see my training bra while I was wearing pajamas on Sunday. It wasn't like I was going anywhere or was planning to go on ChattyCam, no I can't fucking relax in my own room with the window curtains while wearing loose PJs. Listen, I love my mom and all, but she has to back off on shouting bullshit at me.

I'd rather Ed were here so she could yell at him instead.

Sarah

XxXxX

"Eddy, want to come to the Dusk Cafe with me after school?"

"nah not really"

"Why not?

"cause i dont feel like talkin to double dee"

"Who said he'd be there?"

"nazz i know double dee asked you to invite me somewere so we can talk and i aint got nothin to talk to him about

im not stupid"

"Okay then. We'll still be there if you change your mind."

XxXxX

[From: Edd]

[Please do be honest Marie, do you still harbor any feelings towards me?]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:34 PM]

[From: Marie]

[tbh not really after u tried suckin ur friends dick

ill be real the only feelings I had fer u were to mess with ya nothin else]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:36 PM]

[From: Edd]

[Oh my, well … that was rather blunt Marie.]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:36 PM]

[From: Marie]

[ur cute double-d, but now i cant help but see yu as a creep]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:38 PM]

[From: Edd]

[Isn't this a tad bit hypocritical coming from the same individual whom molested me and my companions for years?]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:38 PM]

[From: Marie]

[did i ever grab ur balls? ur dick?]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:39 PM]

[From: Edd]

[Well, no, but...

I see your argument]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:41 PM]

[From: Marie]

[man my stuff was preteen girl crush shit

kisses hugs maybe some handholding

yeah i was rough but holy fuck even i got limits ya fag]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:43 PM]

[From: Edd]

[Marie, I will cut you off completely if you call me that slur again.]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:43 PM]

[From: Marie]

[sorry too harsh but still

what u did 2 eddy was beyond the shit me and my sisters would have evr done]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:44 PM]

[From: Edd]

[Fair enough.

Although I would like you to know at least that I am trying my hardest to move past that incident. My time in Canada was good for learning how to live as a bisexual individual. I was able to get the proper experience needed to handle myself now for relationships and sexual encounters. I just wish the others would realize just how much I've grown.]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:47 PM]

[From: Marie]

[yeah i can't help u there

U r on yur own for making up with eddy.]

[Sent: September 7th, 3:50 PM]

XxXxX

GROUPS – The Cul-De-Sac Crew 2 ONLINE

Mr-Ed is now playing Space Funeral 4

Mr-Ed: eddy ur not hapy dubble ds heer?

CEOCa$h: i dunno ed

CEOCa$h: it just seems weird with him bk

CEOCa$h: i meen what the fuck should i think?

Mr-Ed: dat dubble d is heer!

CEOCa$h: i KNOW hes here ed!

CEOCa$h: but y?

Mr-Ed: may b cuz he found that canadians are wired!

CEOCa$h: thats not wat i meen you idiot!

CEOCa$h: y now of all fucking times?

CEOCa$h: we got shit to do!

CEOCa$h: and im not liking the hole fucking thing with sockhat cummin heer to shake shit up!

Mr-Ed: liek wat?

Mr-Ed: wat do we gotta do?

CEOCa$h: ed dis is our last yeer of highschool

CEOCa$h: an i dunno about u but i dont need double dee heer to distract me wen im tryin to enjoy myself for 1 last yeer

Mr-Ed: oh cum on eddy it will be liek old times

Mr-Ed: ed edd n eddy

CEOCa$h: ed dose old times SUCKED

CEOCa$h: runnin arond like idiots tryin to make money

CEOCa$h: riskin our LIVES for candy for fucks sake

CEOCa$h: pretty much making EVERYONE hate us

CEOCa$h: u wanna return to dat?

Mr-Ed: Eddy, we've all grown up

Mr-Ed: Can you do the same?

CEOCa$h: ed did u suddenly reach a moment of clarity or did sum1 hack ur account again?

Mr-Ed: idk lets go fuck up sum shit n gg2

CEOCa$h: fine jus get out of that furry fest of a game first

Mr-Ed: U JUST DONT UNDERSTAND!

XxXxX

Rolf Shepard MyBook Chat

Jonny Woods: How you holdin' up Rolf? I saw u advertising some kind of club?

Rolf Shepard: Rolf is well, it has been a bit taxing lately with Nana and Father's insistence that Rolf does more farmwork these days.

Rolf Shepard: Mainly because Rolf is to takeover large tracks of land soon after he is wed.

Rolf Shepard: In order to meet these tasks, Rolf decided to hire and train a bit of help from the students. Fast-talking Eddy provided the idea of making it into a "club" for the school.

Jonny Woods: wait ur getting married? Cool! When?

Rolf Shepard: Sometime in the coming year, Rolf's father has promised me to the daughter of a rival clansman in order to ease some tensions, and we are to be wed before Rolf becomes a man.

Jonny Woods: Oh.

Jonny Woods: what do u mean by "becomes a man"?

Rolf Shepard: 20 is the year when boys become men and must take a wife. It is tradition.

Jonny Woods: so ur country's drinking age is 20?

Rolf Shepard: No there is no drinking age in the old country.

Jonny Woods: lucky!

XxXxX

The video starts with the camera recording Ed and May sitting on the couch in the Kanker's trailer.

"Today on the Animal Channel!" narrated Marie, "We observe two wild boars, one of which is in heat." the camera zoomed in on May, who didn't seem to notice her sister recording them.

Suddenly, the camera was grabbed by someone off-screen and the video went dark. "Leave 'em alone, Marie."

"Hey, give that back!"

"Marie, if May wants to spend the afternoon with her boyfriend, then let her be."

"Oh come off it Lee! I'm just having some fun!"

"Yeah, by being a bitch. The fuck's your problem anyway? You've been recording all this bullshit for months now!"

"My problem? I just want to fucking record stuff and share it online, everyone does it!"

"Does everyone record stuff that embarrasses or incriminates their fucking family?"

"Some do! You know you ain't really a saint, right?"

"You think I don't know that? I mean, I got sloshed and screamed at a random shopkeeper last month. Who the fuck does that?"

"You did, what's your point?"

"I'm worried, alright? I'm worried that this is all we're going to be. White trash who do stupid shit just to entertain people. There's already, like, three TV shows like that, you don't need to make a webshow about it, do you?"

There was a moment of silence between the two, ending with Lee groaning.

"You know what? Here, do what you want. I'm going to get a drink."

The video focused again to show Lee walking out the door, May and Ed watching her leave.

"What was that all about?" May asked.

"Are we on camera?" Ed asked, excitedly.

The video stops there.

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