Happy New Year Malfoy' Hermione greeted him, standing next to him at the back of the lift. It had been two weeks since he'd last turned up at her house and she got the impression he'd been trying to avoid her.
'Granger' he nodded, acknowledging her but then staring straight ahead again in reference to the other people in the lift. He hadn't been able to get her out of his head. He hadn't plucked up the courage to go over since, figuring it was best to just forget their secret 'meetings', (was that even the right word?) as he wasn't sure what it meant. His friends, if you could really call them friends had dwindled when they realised he didn't support their ideals or he wasn't going to use his influence to help them anymore, or that the influence had gone. He felt more comfortable with just trading the occasional insult or even hex with her as like school but he knew they'd both changed past that and it scared him. Plus she hadn't recoiled like that one witch in Bulgaria when he'd let his guard slip and accidentally shown his dark mark, that was a revelation to him.
'Happy New Year' he muttered quietly in her ear. She grinned, almost imperceptibly touching his hand with the briefest of touches and leaving. Dammit. She was getting under his skin again and he didn't like it. They couldn't, Hell shouldn't be anything more than passing acquaintances, especially as in the last few weeks his nightmares had got stronger. He had to be stronger. He didn't deserve or want her forgiveness but she had an uncanny way of entering his thoughts.
Hermione spent the day quietly working. She loved her job as a magical lawyer, mostly working in prosecution. Criminal wizards were getting smarter but Hermione was too. She had completed basic Auror training as all the new prosecutors must but hadn't wanted to be "front line"; she'd always been more intellectual and had a muggle law degree so it was an ideal fit. She could still hold up well in a duel though and kept up some training when time allowed but her workload was increasing. Harry was doing well as a fully fledged auror, having completed the combat course and Ron had found something he excelled at out of Harry's shadow. She sighed. She's only seen them once over Christmas on Christmas Day and missed them. Harry's schedule was punishing and they hadn't even managed much time together as the day was just one long whirlwind of visitors and he'd disappeared with Ginny for a holiday in the short time off they had together between him working all hours and her punishing quidditch schedule. They'd come back today to stories that Ginny was secretly pregnant. She wasn't, or at least if she was Hermione didn't know. She sighed again, she missed Ginny too but they hadn't had opportunity to speak much lately. It was just too easy to work then head home to the peace and silence. Ron had spent a lot of time holed up with his new girlfriend but also putting in some overtime; wizards weren't exempt from the family feuds similar to that of muggles but with the excess of firewhisky consumed and a natural desire to one up one another their spats often spilled over into the muggle world. She turned the page of her paper and sighed a third time.
'Golden girl crushed as The Boy Who Lived Twice shuns her at Christmas'.
It was a story on her, on how her love had been rejected and she'd been spending her time locked away and broken hearted. She read the by-line and sighed again, really, Parvati Patil was going to have to come up with better stories or Hermione was going to have to get threatening. They hadn't been on the best of terms at school and now she was trading on her "insider knowledge" having shared a dorm with Hermione all those years.
'Careful, you'll blow me away with all those sighs ' said a voice at her door.
'Either that or a flood from all these tears over you. Sure you want to talk to me? I might burst into a fit of uncontrollable crying and beg you to run away with me instead' she grinned at the tall messy haired man leaning on her door frame. Harry had grown again, if it was possible and was now a lean, muscly man instead of the gangly teenager she'd grown up with. From photos he was the physical embodiment of his father.
'To be honest, I'd be insulted if you didn't. Lunch?' Harry asked.
'Sure'.
She jumped up excitedly, looking forward to a catch up as they rarely were free enough together these days. She linked arms with him and smiled as they left.
Malfoy quickly turned away. He wasn't sure why he'd come down here but seeing Harry at the door made him realise what a stupid idea it was. How much had she told him? Were they laughing at his pathetic ness as he heard a burst of laughter. Angrily he turned and stalked away. Enough. He had to stop this now, stop talking to her or visiting her house. He knew they probably weren't talking about him, especially as he'd not been immediately confronted by an angry Potter but he just had to stay away and let everything go back to normal, a normal where he ignored she existed.
'I've missed you Hermione' Harry said as they sat down in Muggle London. They'd come away from Diagon Alley or the usual wizarding haunts for some privacy.
'I've missed you too. It's been a bit quiet lately, I'd have been completely alone if it wasn't for' she cut off quickly.
'Secret lover?' He asked conspiratorially.
'Chance would be a fine thing' she laughed. 'Just, a friend I guess'.
She'd dated a couple of times since uni but they'd all been, well not interesting. She wanted to be challenged and there weren't many who could keep up with her in conversation or didn't just sit in an awed silence. She didn't want to be worshipped so she'd just given up.
'Done the secret lover before' he said nonchalantly as she stared at him. 'You think Ginny and I don't talk? I noticed too. You're entitled to secrets 'mione. Not like you've had much luck' he joked.
They chatted, reminiscing over Hermione's disastrous dates until she'd decided to give it a break after one guy literally sat and stared at her through an entire meal. 'Enough of my dire love life, yours is more exciting. How was your holiday? Is Ginny back? I've missed her too'.
'Yeah, she's back training today as they have a match next week. Molly has gone mad thinking she's pregnant. She's not by the way. Anyway, you'll see Ginny tonight at this stupid fundraiser we have to go to'.
'Oh shit' she swore, causing Harry to raise an eyebrow.
'Yes, I know, swearing is for the unintelligent with nothing better to say but I completely forgot. I'll have to cut short Harry, but we'll catch up tonight, I promise?'.
She threw down some Muggle money to cover her half of the bill and headed out into the street. She just had time to pick up a new dress. It was costing her a fortune, all these fundraisers and charity balls but she hoped the heat would properly die off them soon and a new celebrity would come to town. Who was she kidding, it had been five years and she was still hounded. She had dared wear the same dress twice and Witch Weekly had slated her for it. Luckily she knew her way round Muggle London and was perfectly capable of altering them magically so the dresses fit exactly. She'd learnt some tailoring spells purely for this purpose; whilst she didn't really care it was one less thing for the press to bang on about and hopefully leave her mostly forgotten.
Malfoy swore as he got his dress robes on. He'd bankrolled this fundraiser anonymously as part of his attempt to make some amends for the war. It was raising money for those still in St Mungo's so it was the least he could do. His Father's attitude of buying favour and shouting about it wasn't his preferred choice hence the anonymity but he couldn't deny money made the world go round and it made him feel a little better. The minister had accepted his donation on the condition he attended. Malfoy had protested vehemently but in the end accepted just to get him off his back. He sighed and disapparated. Hopefully he'd only have to stay half an hour or so before he could discretely disappear and had taken his usual place at the bar.
'Mr Malfoy, good evening' a soft Scottish voice spoke behind him.
'Professor McGonagall' he nodded at the Hogwarts Heasmistress. Older, greyer but just as fierce as ever.
'I must admit, I'm surprised but pleased to see you here' she said.
'Believe me, it's not by choice' he grunted.
'Most would be Mr Malfoy, your denouncement if your family's opinions was not a weakness but indeed a strength. You essentially defected before you knew how it would end. Forgiveness is there for the taking'.
'Not you as well' he said, as someone entering the other side of the room caught his eye but he dragged his attention back to his old professor.
'Miss Granger I presume?' She said knowingly. He just nodded in reply.
'Mr Malfoy, if I may be so bold. You were a gifted student underneath that couldn't care less exterior you presented, you've mentioned the only student even close to matching your potential in many years. I don't deny your choices weren't to my liking but it is your actions for which you are judged. You need to forgive yourself and step away from the shadow of your father. You are after all your own man, you demonstrated that but just seem too incredibly dense to realise it'.
He just stared blankly ahead. 'I can't entirely be blameless' he replied.
'No, no you can't. But you can accept blame and move on. Take forgiveness where it is offered and unity. After all, it is what we fought for'.
'If only it were that easy' he sighed.
'You are your own worst enemy, Mr Malfoy'.
'Indeed. I never thanked you Professor, for sending me to Oxford. At first I thought it a punishment but I realise perhaps it wasn't meant solely for that'.
'Oh, it was a punishment, yes, but I believe far more thought provoking than a spell hating the world in Azkaban. You acquitted yourself well. But I have monopolised enough of your time, you don't want to be talking to an old lady like me I'm sure.'
'Always a pleasure Professor' he said cordially. He was actually pleased she'd spoken to him. She was a formidable witch and had been an imposing teacher but he could see now a kind one, and Hogwarts was her life.
'Please, Minerva. You are sadly no longer my student. It would have been a pleasure to teach you in differing circumstances Mr Malfoy'. She took her leave and he turned around.
'Firewhisky please' he said, as a voice piped up 'I see your manners have improved'.
'I see yours haven't, it's impolite to point out another's failings. Something I'd expect from a 'he quipped back, before guilt and common sense got the better of him and he stopped short. She didn't deserve his anger really and it was a stupid comment. There was a tension between them she couldn't place.
'Uncalled for' he tried apologising, but she wasn't having any of it.
'Expect of a what? Woman? Muggle born? Mudblood? ' she hissed. He winced at the last word but retaliated.
'And you're so perfect? I was going to say Gryffindor'.
'Coming from the self serving Slytherin. You can tell the world you've changed' she said sadly. She'd thought about him a lot but didn't want to admit it and kept being drawn to him. Every time they talked about something and seemed to be getting on they'd argue and he seemed to pull away.
'I think I've owned up to and been punished for my actions enough. I don't think like that anymore as well you know. Do you think I like my life right now? Everyday is a reminder of the things I want but can't have. Like now' he said sadly as Harry and Ron approached.
'What do you mean?' She asked, confused, argument forgotten momentarily.
'Come on Hermione. We can't even talk without your bodyguards protecting you'.
She was surprised but strangely please at the use of her first name. She didn't think she'd ever heard him say it before but it sounded odd.
'Weasel, St Potter' he snarled.
'Real mature' she hissed under breath before turning to greet Harry and Ron with a kiss in the cheek each.
'What are you doing talking to her Malfoy?' Harry said, standing one side of Hermione. Ron took the other side and glared down at him. Malfoy wasn't short but Ron was taller.
'Point proven' he said, looking directly at her with an expression she couldn't read.
'Is he bothering you 'Mione?' Ron asked.
'No. I can look after myself' she flashed at them, not liking their interruption as she thought he was about to say something. Although they'd argued she'd wanted to talk to him. Clear the air. She didn't need protecting dammit. She tried to convey sorry with her eyes but Malfoy just looked down. Even if they were arguing she could handle it herself and was for once wishing Ron and Harry would leave her alone.
'Come on' Ron said, dragging her away.
She glanced back and saw Malfoy almost make a move towards her but decide against it and walk away. She kept her eyes open all evening but didn't see him again. She didn't know why she felt so sad about it.
J
She'd only just got up from her sofa when she heard the fire roar signalling an incoming guest. She'd escaped the function as early as she could manage feigning a headache and thankfully put her pyjamas on and curled up with a hot chocolate and a book before bed on the sofa to wind down.
'What now?' She thought, turning back round but barely had time to register who it was before Malfoy unfurled himself from the fire and spoke.
'I couldn't leave as we were' he said, looking down at his hands, suddenly nervous. She just nodded as he took a step towards her, not trusting herself to speak.
'Your henchmen were getting in the way again' he said, not taking his eyes off her.
He took another step closer and she bit her bottom lip but didn't move.
'Getting in the way of what?' She asked breathily, the anticipation and tension crackling between them.
'This' he breathed, gesturing at the two of them. He was close enough to touch her now, but stood staring at her. She didn't break eye contact.
"Fuck it' he said, grabbing her to him and kissing her, hard and fast. She could taste fire whisky on his breath but it wasn't unpleasant. Hungrily she found herself kissing him back, running her hands through his white blonde hair. She'd missed this, his touch set her on fire like no other man had. He guided her back towards the sofa as she put her hands on his chest and ran her fingertips over his shirt.
'What?' She started to ask but he answered by covering her mouth with his, hands slowly undoing the buttons on her pyjama shirt. She gasped as frustrated with the tiny buttons he just ripped it, exposing her chest. He trailed kisses down her neck, and over the outline of her lacy bra. He heard her sharp intake of breath as mouth freed nipple and hesitated slightly but she responded by dragging him down onto the sofa on top of her.
'Don't stop' she whispered sensing him hesitate suddenly, arching her back in delight into him and he carried on downwards, kissing his way down her stomach. She pulled him back up, opening his shirt as she did so and taking a moment to breathe in the sight of his muscly chest and six pack abdomen.
'Whoah not so fast' he breathed.
'You're the one that jumped me. It's been too long' she replied, grinning at him before they sank back down onto the sofa.
'What are you doing?' He murmured sleepily.
'Locking the floo. I don't often get visitors but don't think I want anyone to walk in right now' she replied, flicking her wand again and setting a purple fire in the grate.
'I don't know what I was thinking' he said guiltily, sitting up.
'Don't go all funny on me now' she said, kissing his shoulder gently and pulling him back down next to her. She felt him relax for a second before tensing up again.
'It wasn't like we've not been here before'.
'I should go' he said, making a move to get up. She sighed, looking angry at him.
'Just wanted to get your leg over again?'
'You didn't mind before, but no, not that. I shouldn't have come. This never was or ever will be a good idea. We tried it before, it didn't work' he said, getting up and pulling his shirt on.
'Malfoy wait. Draco' she tried. 'Just stay, no one knows and anyway who cares? Right now nothing or anyone else matters'. She noticed his arm was bare. She grabbed it and ran her fingers over his dark mark.
'See, nothing' He pulled his arm away roughly.
'It will do one day. It's for the best Mi' he said sadly, gathering his clothes and stalked out the front door, apparating on the spot. She sighed and snuggled down on the sofa in case he decided to come back but knowing it was unlikely.
That night he paced and paced and paced. What was he thinking? He'd just barrelled into her house and fucked Hermione Granger of all people, again, and then disappeared just as quick. Again. His once sworn enemy, friend of St Potter. The girl who'd earnt him many beatings as a kid for beating him every year at Hogswarts, a muggle born no less which had particularly riled his father. It had been a particularly hard blow for him that his son was beaten by a muggle and he'd suffered accordingly. Especially as she was friends with Potter, St Potter. He was glad Voldemort was gone but it would have been him who did it. Without thinking he headed into the drawing room. He hadn't been in here in the five years, he'd instructed the house elves to clean it but beyond that it remained untouched. He'd stood by and done nothing whilst his aunt tortured her in the name of self preservation but actually what could he have done?. Those screams still haunted his sleep, when he actually got any that is that wasn't potion or alcohol induced. He was dirty, tainted and undeserving and she was so undeniably pure. Well, not so pure any more, he'd made sure of that. It had been surprisingly good, not that he hadn't expected it would be. And his mark. She'd seen it and didn't recoil- she'd even touched it. No one had touched him in a long time, not like that if ever. With tender care. Oh, he was confused now. He kept pacing, an internal battle raging. He'd just upped and left and felt so rude. Maybe it was for the best and he should forget it. He was drunk and it wouldn't happen again. Just because she's treated him for once like a human didn't mean she wanted him, although he remembered her moans of delight, it hadn't seemed like she didn't want him as much as he wanted her. He had one more quick thing to do before he'd go to bed and forget about it and her.
Hermione crawled into bed much later. What the hell was that? They'd argued, he'd walked away then just reappeared and..and well she hadn't stopped him. Hadn't wanted to and she didn't want him to leave but wasn't in a position to chase after him. She sighed. This wasn't supposed to be but she couldn't deny she hadn't thought about it again. Awkward fumbles with Ron and the the couple of wizards after hadn't been anywhere near as scintillating as that but then she'd heard rumours of his familiarity with some muggle girls. She'd even not flinched at his dark Mark. She was curious, no doubt about it but didn't think she'd ever have pitied a wearer. Whilst she hated the use of the dark arts she couldn't deny there was something intriguing about them. She could remain objective enough to appreciate their intricacies, the dark mark being one of them. She sighed again. She got into a habit of that lately. She didn't just like him because of his dark mark, that was ridiculous. She liked being challenged and he annoyingly was one of the only ones who could challenge her the way she needed to be, and there was no denying he'd turned into a beautiful man. He obviously looked after himself she thought, remembering his body with a grin. It could never happen again though. They were just too different. She fell asleep before hearing a light crack in her front room, although when she went down the next morning she found a small square of parchment on her coffee table with a loopy script marking out one word.
'Sorry'.