I'd type something like "I should be on TV Tropes" but that would be too petty.
Co-Written by Neo H.B.B Sam and BarthVader
Is this part of the 10% or 90% of fanfics on this site?
Considering the recent influx of EEnE fics, it's the former.
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Bump
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Eddy McGee MyBook Chat
Eddy McGee 8:14 AM: Ed wat happened to u last night?
Eddy McGee 8:14 AM: Me, Kev and Rolf have been cleaning shit up all morning
Eddy McGee 8:14 AM: where u at?
Edward Trumbull 8:18 AM: uh sorry eddy
Edward Trumbull 8:18 AM: in bed now
Eddy McGee 8:20 AM: bed?
Eddy McGee 8:20 AM: u went home last nite?
Eddy McGee 8:21 AM: u werent there when I got up!
Edward Trumbull 8:23 AM: may took me to her trailer
Edward Trumbull 8:23 AM: shes in the shower now
Eddy McGee 8:25 AM: oh good
Eddy McGee 8:25 AM: thought u were brought home by some OTHER girl again
Edward Trumbull 8:28 AM: i know Eddy
Edward Trumbull 8:28 AM: "one hoe at a time" like u said
Edward Trumbull 8:28 AM: wont break the "rule of one" or else i get the car door again
Eddy McGee 8:30 AM: yh that punishment the Kankers gave u was fucking brutal after they found out what u did
Eddy McGee 8:30 AM: surprised you still got ur dick attached to your body
Eddy McGee 8:30 AM: anyway get ur ass over here. i've ben stuck helping kev n rolf on clean up crew 4 an hour
Eddy McGee 8:30 AM: sum fuckin colleg kids threw kevs couch onto my yard for petes sake!
Eddy McGee 8:31 AM: dunt get me started on teh rest of da cul-de-sac n that we ned 2b at my old mans dealership by 10 or else we're dead
Edward Trumbull 8:32 AM: ok eddy let me just get dressed
Edward Trumbull 8:32 AM: btw may still has my free pass to compensate for it
Edward Trumbull 8:32 AM: she hasnt used it yet
Eddy McGee 8:35 AM: uh yh
Eddy McGee 8:35 AM: prolly bcause she only wants 2 be wit u
Edward Trumbull 8:36 AM: :^)
Edward Trumbull 8:37 AM: welp may has work at 11
Edward Trumbull 8:37 AM: said goodbye on mah way eddy!
Edward Trumbull 8:37 AM: just passed ur bro he is sleeping
Eddy McGee 8:38 AM: dont 4get ur pants again lumpy
Edward Trumbull 8:40 AM: gon bk 2 get em!
Eddy McGee 8:42 AM: n mays bra neds to get uff yor head
Eddy McGee 8:42 AM: my mum nearly had a hert attak last tim u did that
Ed Trumbull 8:44 AM: all is clear 4 take off!
Eddy McGee 8:45 AM: gud now hurray up!
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Friends – SonOfAShepherd
FullThrottleKev: Hey man sorry about your phone.
FullThrottleKev: Didn't think your dad would be so hardcore.
SonOfAShepherd: Do not worry much Kevin.
SonOfAShepherd: Hotshot Eddy has, how you say, hooked Rolf up with a new phone.
SonOfAShepherd: No questions asked for low-low price.
FullThrottleKev: Shady but alright. What kind is it?
SonOfAShepherd: Eddy said it was an older model he had owned.
SonOfAShepherd: He helped get all of Rolf's contacts as well.
SonOfAShepherd: Good reception too.
FullThrottleKev: Damn that was nice of him.
FullThrottleKev: Sucks that he still charged ya though how much?
SonOfAShepherd: Seventy-five dollars.
FullThrottleKev: THAT'S LOW-LOW?
FullThrottleKev: Well I guess that might be low depending on the model but I wouldn't know.
FullThrottleKev: So Rolf are you coming to practice on Tuesday or should we start without you again?
SonOfAShepherd: Rolf will try to be there.
SonOfAShepherd: But don't worry about starting without me.
SonOfAShepherd: Mama says that Father hasn't been doing too well, so Rolf may have to help out more.
FullThrottleKev: Whoa what did she mean by that?
SonOfAShepherd: Not sure, but Papa is strong as ten oxen. He'll be fine.
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From: MrScience
To: MasterJJ
Subject: What should I do?
Dear Juan,
I've adjusted fairly well into living back in Peach Creek again after being absent for so many years. My home life is quite satisfactory, with my parents happy to have me back and are proud that I'm working a part-time job on top of school. They're glad that I decided to continue my education in the states, and they're already helping me decide which college I might want to go into. I don't really have a definite answer as of yet however, there's so many academic institutions to pick from. Perhaps I might go back to Canada for college however, considering the high tuition costs of American universities.
My peers at school, aside from my childhood neighborhood friends, are quite bothersome to put it as politely as possible. You would be deplorably amazed at how ignorant people are down here. Whenever I tell someone that I'm bisexual, they look at me with gross unfamiliarity as if I'm messing with them in a perverted way. Some unscrupulous people I've came across even had the audacity to tell me that I should play for one "team" or the other. I can't even speak to most of the girls here because they all treat me like I'm a stereotypical"gay character" you see on those horrible television shows that give the most ridiculous characterizations for LGBT people. You know Juan, like the show "Choir" that we spent an entire afternoon tearing apart. These women see me as a potential commodity to go shopping with, and I won't degrade myself to that level.
I wouldn't really mind this treatment too much, but unfortunately the small minority of openly homosexual students are a pack of rather repulsive individuals. In fact, I suspect some of them are only pretending to be gay just to get attention. One of them had the gall to say that I make them "uncomfortable" while wearing a "Support LGBT" t-shirt. I seriously considered buying a plane ticket back to Manitoba after this despicable incident. It's not like I wore a bunch of huge purple dicks attached to my body while I rammed gay rights down everyone's throats. If it wasn't for my childhood friends I would feel so alone here.
By the way, how are things back in Thompson? How are Rikki, Terry, and Phil doing and why haven't they messaged me back? Also, the "sexy pix" you sent were … well I will admit, I may be missing out on great things north of the border, but I'm sticking to what we've agreed on before I left. We both know that a long distance relationship between the two of us would be terrible, what with all the expenses, trust and several other issues involved as you said.
So, I really should stop beating around the bush and tell you what I'm having trouble with: Eddy. I haven't had the best time trying to rekindle my friendship with him, much to my dismay. I've tried everything to get back in touch with Eddy, but to no avail. I've used tex messages, tried sending friend requests on MyBook and Smoke, and even asked my good friends Nazz and Ed to intervene yet this ended poorly from what both of them informed me. I believe I'm running out of options, so what do you recommend Juan?
Awaiting your answer,
Eddward
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[From: Pipsqueak]
[hey jackass Nazz filled me in on that shit you pulled
the fuck is WRONG with you? Sending dickpics to a minor? do u want to do hard time in "we hate pedos" prison?]
[Received: October 5th, 12:10 AM]
[Me]
[LOL you found out about that? c'mon pipsqueak it was just a joke I aint serious about her
besides it was meant for some other ho]
[Message Sent: October 5th, 1:30 AM]
[From: Pipsqueak]
[yeah I guess you're never serious about anything other than fucking up my life and hurting me when you can]
[Received: October 5th, 1:33 AM]
[Me]
[pffft you still mad about that? You should thank me I was just toughening you up making you ready for the scary as shit world you were about to go into. I mean I almost got SHOT the other day by that crazy redheaded bitch you told me about]
[Message Sent: October 5th, 1:36 AM]
[From: Pipsqueak]
[BULLSHIT!
You just wanted to beat me up for shits and giggles until mom and dad threw your ass out on the curb! and now you want me to THANK you for that? Thanks to YOU and YOUR ASSHOLE LESSONS I got hate from EVERYONE in the cul-de-sac for YEARS!]
[Received: October 5th, 7:40 PM]
[Me]
[oh so it's all MY fault that YOUR scams caused those kids to hate you? remind me when and how the fuck I forced you to do that shit.]
[Message Sent: October 5th, 7:43 PM]
[Me]
[still waiting for an answer.]
[Message Sent: October 5th, 7:50 PM]
[Me]
[dont wanna admit you ain't that good yourself huh?]
[Message Sent: October 5th, 8:00 PM]
[From: Pipsqueak]
[No one did.]
[Received: October 5th, 8:14 PM]
[Me]
[HA!]
[Message Sent: October 5th, 8:15 PM]
[From: Pipsqueak]
[No one also made me a better person. That was MY work. MY amends. MY development, and there was no point where literally everyone hated me as much as they hate you now.]
[Received: October 5th, 8:20 PM]
[From: Pipsqueak]
And you know what? I DON'T NEED TO TAKE SHIT FROM SOME JUNKIE JACKASS OF A MAN JUST BECAUSE HE'S MY BIG BROTHER.]
[Received: October 5th, 8:21 PM]
[Pipsqueak]
[BTW, You probably deserved getting shot at. Lee might be stressed as fuck but at least she has standards]
[Received: October 5th, 8:22 PM]
[Me]
[wow ur really upset arentcha?]
[Message Sent: October 5th, 8:30 PM]
[Me]
[Eddy?]
[Message Sent: October 5th, 10:30 PM]
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Nazz walked up to the school's bulletin board to see if there were any clubs that had openings this month.
"Go-Pro Goes Missing!
Any students with information about a missing Go-Pro cam recorder from the A/V club's film editing room, please contact Mr. Cathro."
"Wood Club!
Jonny Woods here! Starting a new club that's all about wood! Any potential club members who wish to join must bring in your favorite type of timber! The more unique the better!"
(Underneath this was a drawing of Plank surrounded by wood)
"Homecoming Game/Dance!
This year's homecoming game and the dance after will be held at the end of October on the 31st. As it just so happens, this year's theme will be a costume party for students and staff. Preparations begin this week, any voulenteers wishing to earn extra-credit will report to Mr. Boutilier to help with decorations.
Hope to see you all there!
-Mr. Boutilier, Art Department
(Disclaimer: The fact that this year's Homecoming Dance fell on Halloween is pure coincidence and the costume party was voted on by the PTA. Please do not sue the school.)"
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From: MasterJJ
To: MrScience
Subject: RE: What should I do?
Dear Eddward
Glad to hear you liked what you seen friend. (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Also nice that youre on good terms with your folks again buddy. Are they actually sticking around the house more or are they gone for weeks still guy? Oh and congrats on the job Eddward I hope it pays!
Seriously fuck those damn hicks. Fuckin dumbass americans all a bunch of darts n tools and hosers! I warned you about how homophobic fucking americans are guy especially teh ones in that diabetic bible belt part youre somehow from. Really sorry to hear that all the bitches are cunts and all the dicks are douchebags. Cant believe the fruits are all rotten there eh? Fuck the USA guy.
Anyway well I should explain. Terry n Phil have always been assholes but now they're not our friends buddy. Those two always thought they were a step above us becaue they were "all the way gay" and not "switch hitters" like us friend. Those two fecal fuckers dropped outta school and moved to that damn Gastown Vancouver together. For sure I heard they think theyre fuckin hot shit better than everyone else just becaus they decently successful comedians now. Fart knockers dont even talk to me or rikki anymor. Fuck em both figuratively not literally. We can do better than those floppy fucks guy.
As for Rikki well u remember how things just kept getting shittier for her. First she became a pogie and now her dad finaly had the biscuit. It was some savage shit too fuckin crazy arse burning himself alive in that trailer. Rikki is a complet wrek now she can hardly functon anymore guy. Cant even get her outta bed goddamn I feel so bad for her withdrawn from life. Ive been letting Rikki crash at my place since she doesnt have anywhere else to go. Shell let you know when shes not comatose anymore hoepfully friend.
You need to stop pussyfooting and confront Eddy yourself Eddward. Its pretty weak having Ed and Nazz talk to him for ya buddy. I know you can stand up for yourself Eddward. Youre a real fuckin kinky ass guy you know that right guy? If you can "liberate" me in ways no one else has ever done im sure you can find it in yourself ot seek Eddy out. I know hes not into guys like us and was fraked out bad after you sucked him off in his sleep (loved it when you did that to me). Still youve known him for years and he must care about you still if he sent that letter you showed me. Start off casual or something idk friend.
Takitish, always free to talk (especially sexy)
Juan
P.S. I know we agreed to not go long distance friend since that always gets fucked but still willin to send sexy pics back n forth on a casual basis buddy eh.
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On Friday, Sarah and Jimmy shared a history class where they had to watch a film on the civilization of Egypt. During which, Sarah took out some notebook paper, wrote on it, and passed it to Jimmy.
"Jimmy would you mind if I stayed over at your house this weekend? My mom's pissing me off again and I'd rather be away from her when I'm off school."
"Um this weekend? As in tonight through Monday?"
"What other fucking weekend is there? Just tell your parents that we need to work on a project or something, and I can stay in the guest room."
"Sorry Sarah, but I already have someone staying over this weekend. Maybe some other time?"
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL? Who the fuck are you having over this weekend?"
"Um it's Felix."
"THAT CREEPO? Tell him to take a hike! I fucking need to get away from my house!"
"Please Sarah, can't you at least wait until Saturday night? Felix would be gone by then and my parents would be back, I'm sure they'd like to see you."
"Wait, your parents aren't home? Where are they?"
"They're gonna be out of town for the night. They're seeing old friends they met in England."
"Then why the fuck can't I just stay the night? Wait, why the FUCK is Felix able to stay the night and not me?"
Sarah didn't get the notebook paper back.