She had gone through four outfits, two makeup looks, and six different hairstyles, but every time she looked at her reflection, she felt inadequate. Nothing was right, nothing was good enough. She thought for a moment about why she was stressing in the first place. This wasn't even a real date. Some part of her felt that maybe if she played the part it would become real, as if her pretending would actually form a reality. She felt so stupid, enough so that she considered calling the whole thing off and hiding under her covers for the rest of the night. She actually walked to the console and was seconds away from calling him when her door chimed.
"Damn," She muttered.
She ran to look in the mirror one last time. She had on a knee-length red dress which flared out towards the bottom. Her hair was half up and her makeup was hastily done but still very nice. Over all she looked lovely, but she didn't feel that way.
She opened the door with a forced smile.
"I know I'm early, but I figured you might try and back out last minute, so I didn't want to give you the chance,"
"You know me so well," she said, shaking her head at the truth of her words. She never understood how he almost always knew what her next move would be.
"You look incredible," he said, kissing her on the cheek.
"Thank you," she said with a nervous smile.
She gestured for him to come in and they walked into the living room.
"Well, I've guaranteed that a few reporters will happen to be hanging around the club we're going to," he said.
"A club, huh?"
"Nothing too daring, this is a first date after all, but it's somewhere I know we'll be able to dance,"
"What kind of dancing?" she asked.
"A little bit of everything," he said, with a smile that always made her a little faint.
"Sounds perfect," she was worried for a moment that no words actually made it out of her mouth. Thankfully he hadn't noticed the great effort it took for her to regain composure.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked.
She nodded.
"You might want to grab a jacket or something, it's cold out,"
"I don't need it," she said.
"You sure?"
"Positive," she said confidently.
"Alright, then let's go," he said, holding out his arm.
She smiled brightly and looped her arm through his and the pair walked out the door.
They decided to grab a quick bite to eat before arriving at the club, and he let her pick the place.
As they approached the location, he let out a small laugh.
"You never cease to surprise me, Kathryn Janeway," he said.
She laughed heartily.
"I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing," she said.
"A good thing…definitely a good thing,"
They walked into a small corner café which looked almost dilapidated and worn, but supposedly that was on purpose. There wasn't a single customer. She walked right up and greeted the cheerful man behind the counter with a hug. He asked if she wanted her usual and she replied with an "Of course!".
The two of them took a seat by the window, a beautiful city view kept them company as they waited for their food.
"This place is quite hidden," he said.
"I prefer to keep it that way. If word got around how amazing it is, it would be filled to the brim,"
"How'd you find it anyway?"
"I'm an explorer by nature Chakotay. I thought you knew that by now," she said with a flirtatious smile.
"I was walking around here a few months ago when it started to downpour. I ran for the first place that would offer cover and a hot coffee,"
"You and your coffee," he teased.
"The finest organic suspension ever devised,"
"Where have I heard that one before?" he asked sarcastically.
Before she had the chance to answer, their food arrived. It was two sandwiches, some small chocolate chip cookies, and coffee. They both took what was theirs and began eating.
After Chakotay took his first bite, he looked at Kathryn and almost wanted to laugh.
"This is really good," he said with a slightly full mouth.
She laughed.
"I know. The best-kept secret in the city," she said.
They both scarfed down their food and left a nice tip on the table before leaving. While they walked to the transporter station, a few passersby seemed to recognize them walking through the streets, but no one said anything. Chakotay noticed that she was nervously focusing her eyes on the ground in front of them.
He surprised her by taking her hand in his and weaving his fingers in between her own. His thumb rubbed tiny circles on her hand and it made her heart flutter. For a moment, she forgot that it was all pretend, but only for a moment. She knew it wouldn't be the last time she made that mistake.
When they arrived at the club, she couldn't contain her excitement at the lights and the music. Her child-like gaze amused Chakotay more than anything else he'd ever seen. It was the same look she'd get when they would encounter a phenomenon on Voyager, disbelief mixed with joy and a tiny twinkle in her eye.
As they walked in, an upbeat song greeted their ears and he instantly knew Kathryn would want to rush right out onto the dance floor. So that's exactly what they did.
He awkwardly tried to keep up with the beat, but soon enough found his rhythm. She laughed as he spun her around and made her almost too dizzy to stand straight. By the time they caught their breath, the upbeat tempo was replaced with a beautiful slow song. He didn't waste a moment taking her in his arms and swaying her gently around the floor.
"I love 20th-century music," he whispered.
"Me too," she agreed.
He smiled and breathed in the sweet scent of her hair, hoping that she wouldn't notice. She never did, she was too busy savoring the feeling of his strong arms surrounding her. In the back of her mind, she noted that people were watching, some with cameras, some just observing with their eyes.
"I think we've been spotted," she whispered.
"So let's give them something worth talking about," he said mischievously, moving his one hand a little further down while the other moved up to cup her face.
"Cashing in your one kiss now, are you?" she asked.
"About that rule," he started.
"Don't you think a single kiss per date is a little…underwhelming. I mean if we really want to sell this we should talk about increasing that number a bit," he said with a smirk.
"Don't push it," she said.
He laughed and leaned in closer. Their last kiss had been so forceful and a little rough. This time he intended to kiss her right. He gently brushed his lips over hers and felt her shutter. Tentatively, he pressed his lips further. Rather quickly, Kathryn lost all patience and pulled him in for a searing kiss. They were both aware of the sound of holoimagers going off, capturing the moment. When he pulled back he chuckled.
"Maybe your right, one kiss per date. Any more than one and I might not be able to stop myself,"
"That good, huh?" she asked, a blush filling her cheeks.
"You could say that…yeah,"
They laughed and danced for another two hours before admitting they were beyond exhausted and calling it quits.
As they stepped outside into the cool, crisp night air, he noticed Kathryn shiver.
"I told you to bring a jacket," he said.
"Oh please, I'm not even cold," She lied.
He could see the goosebumps forming along her arms and her teeth nearly chattering.
Without another word, he removed his jacket and put it around her.
"Thank you," she said gratefully.
"You're welcome,"
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they walked to the transporter station. His closeness confused her seeing as there was no one around to witness.
After she opened her front door, she turned and said goodnight. She almost forgot to give him back his jacket, and felt embarrassed when he had to ask for it back. She leaned up against the door as it was closing and slid to the ground.
Reviewing the events over in her mind, she came to the realization that it was the best first date she had in a long time. She couldn't remember the last time she talked so freely and honestly with another person, the last time she laughed so hard that her stomach hurt, or the last time she loved someone so deeply who didn't feel the same way. It made her feel an indescribable pain, one that words couldn't adequately convey.
The worst part was that he had to have known the effect he had on her. In fact, she noticed that he relished in it. Teasing her and leading her to the point of thinking it was almost real, only to rip it away from her by the end of the night. She asked herself if he knew how much and how deeply he was hurting her, how he was breaking her heart. She quickly rid of the thought, knowing he would never intentionally cause her such pain.
Sitting with her knees drawn to her chest, she stopped the tears from falling. She refused to cry anymore, she wasn't that kind of girl. Instead, she thought for a moment before making up her mind.
If this was going to be her life for the next three weeks, then she was going to have to play this game to her advantage. She wouldn't be the only one who'd suffer. It was time for her to get a little even. And it was time for him to realize what he was missing.
She smirked and thought 'Oh now this could be fun,'