For the past three dates, Kathryn had been trying different tactics, ways to make Chakotay feel what she had been feeling these past few weeks. She increased the amount she would touch him; a lingering hand on the shoulder, hands running across his chest before a kiss, making their one kiss per date a little more daring. She noticed his reactions to these things, but they weren't having their desired effects. He was smiling more, relaxing around her further, he seemed to encourage her behavior and enjoy that she was being more 'realistic' in her performance as his girlfriend. Tonight though, she would get what she wanted.

Tom and B'Elanna had invited the two of them over for dinner. Kathryn's guilt had nearly consumed her when she realized her friends had heard about her new 'relationship'. In about one hour she'd be going to their house and making polite conversation about her romance with Chakotay, none of which would be true. It made her sick to her stomach, thinking about lying to the people who had served her for seven years, and were not only loyal members of her crew but true friends who actually cared about her wellbeing. She tried to get her and Chakotay out of the dinner, but he insisted that they go. He said that it would seem like something was off if they didn't and they only needed to keep in up for a short while longer. He had to beg her, and in the end, it worked.

She decided to meet up with him at the transporter station around six. By the time they got there, B'Elanna was setting the table and Tom was cooking the food, meanwhile, Miral sat in the living room playing with her toys. The only reply they got when knocking on the door was a:

"Come on in!" from B'Elanna.

As soon as Kathryn entered, Miral stood straight up and moved her cute little legs as fast as they would go, tripping a little as she ran.

"Aunt Katryn!" She shouted and raised her arms to be picked up.

At three years old, she was growing up rather quickly and impressed her aunt every time they saw each other, with new words and stories she learned from her parents.

"Hello my beautiful girl," Kathryn said, picking up the toddler and kissing her cheek.

She carried her over to the couch and sat with Miral on her lap.

"I've missed you. Now tell me, what have you learned since I last saw you?" Kathryn asked.

Chakotay watched their interactions and it made him smile wholeheartedly. Kathryn was so good with children. Aside from Naomi, Seven never really understood children, Miral had always been afraid of her.

"I..I can count to five…I can…I can say all of my ABC's and…I learn two new words in Klingon," Miral said proudly. She stuttered as she spoke out of excitement.

"That's wonderful! How old are you now? Sixteen?" Kathryn joked.

"No," Miral giggled.

"Oh, I know…Twenty three," Kathryn said.

"No, Aunt Katryn. I'm tree and a half," Miral said, holding up three fingers.

"Oh, three and a half. Well, I was close," Kathryn said with a smile. Her eyes drifted towards Chakotay's and her smile became more serious.

Just as Miral stopped laughing, Tom walked in and greeted his guests.

"Hey sorry about that, I had to make sure nothing was burning,"

"Your replicator acting up?" Chakotay asked.

"Actually, I didn't use it tonight, B'Elanna said I should try cooking the hard way every once in a while," Tom said.

"Where is B'Elanna?" Kathryn asked.

"She just finished setting up, but she had to go upstairs and get changed," he said.

"How about drinks?" Tom asked, taking Miral off Kathryn's lap and putting her in the next room with toys and a movie.

As the four of them settled at the dinner table and began eating, the dreaded topic of conversation inevitably reared its ugly head.

"So, you two finally got together? It only took you a decade," B'Elanna said teasingly.

"Yeah, well it was definitely worth the wait. I've never been happier," Chakotay looked at Kathryn and for a moment she thought his sincerity was well…sincere.

"Neither have I," she agreed.

"It's nice to have another couple we can have over for dinner and go places with. I never felt I could do that when you were with…" B'Elanna stopped herself.

"When I was with Seven. No, I get it," Chakotay said.

"Seven's great it's just sometimes she's a bit…severe. And Miral gets a little afraid when she comes over," Tom said awkwardly.

B'Elanna cleared her throat and tried to change the subject.

"So, how did you two finally get together. I was promised the full story, and I'm cashing in, spill it," she said.

There was a pause, but Kathryn quickly decided to speak up.

"I wrote him a letter, one that I never intended to send. It was all about how I felt about him, from the very beginning of our time on Voyager. One night, Naomi came over upset about some boy and we got to talking about my past. The next morning my sister showed Naomi the letter and Naomi decided to send it. That night at the party, he confronted me about the letter and the rest is history,"

It wasn't a complete lie. She just left out a few parts and forgot to mention that their whole relationship was a lie.

"Wow. If only Naomi had sent that letter a few years ago, I'd be up to my neck in replicator rations," Tom said, earning a laugh from the rest of the table.

After they had all finished eating and laughing, B'Elanna stood up and began clearing the dishes.

"Anyone want dessert?" she asked.

The two men replied with a simultaneous "Yes,"

"Just coffee for me, thank you," Kathryn said.

"I'm full," she added, placing her and on Chakotay's knee.

'Let's see how well he keeps his cool,' she thought.

He hadn't moved an inch, his face remained neutral and calm. When B'Elanna handed him a slice of chocolate cake, he graciously accepted.

As soon as he lifted the fork to his mouth, he felt her hand inch higher up his leg. He nearly jumped and began coughing.

"Woah, slow down there old man. You're supposed to eat the cake not inhale it," B'Elanna said.

He took a sip of water and forced a chuckle at her comment.

"Sorry I guess I better be careful," he said.

"The cake is called death by chocolate, but that isn't meant to be taken literally," Tom said.

They all chuckled. Kathryn decided it was time to kick it up a notch.

"Chakotay, why don't you tell them about your new assignment as a captain. It's pretty exciting," she said.

"Yeah, what's this I hear about you possibly getting commission of Voyager?" Tom asked.

"Well, the rumors are true, the ship should be ready in another six months. I'll be taking her out on trade missions and small scale explorations. Nothing like the delta quadrant but still exciting," he said.

"So have they put together a crew yet?" B'Elanna asked.

Chakotay was fully cognizant that Kathryn's hand was still on his leg, now creeping further upward and inward, getting dangerously close and he wasn't going to be able to conceal his reaction much longer.

"Hello? Earth to Chakotay!" B'Elanna said sarcastically.

"Sorry, I uh… no, as far as I know, the ship doesn't have a crew yet,"

"Well if there are any positions available, B'Elanna and I would love a chance to get back out into space," Tom said with a smile.

"I'll make a recommendation," Chakotay replied.

B'Elanna looked right at Kathryn.

"So, Admiral, how about you, anything exciting?" she asked.

"Nothing really. Right now, we're trying to establish a trade deal with a planet a few lightyears from the edge of the Alpha Quadrant. They've only recently become technologically advanced and are looking to obtain federation knowledge and technology for goods and other materials," she said.

"It's basically a lot of paperwork for me, and it would be a lot less if either side could come to an agreement anytime soon," she added.

Chakotay took another bite of cake and felt her hand get so close that he had no choice but to intervene. He reached a hand under the table and grabbed her's, pulling it back towards his knee. She had a hard time concealing the smirk that was spreading across her face, but thankfully no one noticed. It was more fun watching him squirm than she had anticipated.

By the time they were getting ready to leave, Miral had fallen asleep and her parents were looking rather tired themselves. Once outside, Chakotay spun Kathryn around to face him.

"That was an interesting evening," he said with a smile.

"I had fun," she said innocently.

"I could tell. You were getting a little touchy under the table,"

"Hmmm, you sure that was my hand?" she said.

"I'm pretty sure," he replied.

"It could've been Tom's, I mean he was sitting right across from you and he had this twinkle in his eye like he was…" before she could finish that sentence, he gently pulled her closer and kissed her passionately, causing her world to spin and her legs to wobble.

"What was that for?" she asked, still catching her breath.

"Tom and B'Elanna. They're watching through the window,"

She shifted her eyes to the window in the living room and saw two figures quickly jump out of view.

"Besides, it was part of the rules. One kiss per date and this was a date," he said.

She smiled gently and nodded.

Once she got home, she slammed the door closed and let a tear slip down her cheek.

'How does he always manage to make me feel like this?' she thought.

She couldn't understand why he wasn't even a little put off by tonight. After this, they would only have one date left and then they'd be attending the birthday celebration. It would be their last event together as a fake couple. Part of her was thankful that this torture was almost over, but another part never wanted it to end. That part didn't care if any of it was real. The way he looked at her, the way he made her feel was something she wanted to hold on to.

She went to sleep that night, and the hopeless romantic in her sent dreams of a life with the man she truly loved, she woke up in the middle of the night and cried herself back to sleep. 'it's not real. It will never be real' she said to herself over and over again.

The next night was it, their final date. She decided to meet him at the restaurant rather than at the transporter station, she wanted to go to the bar and get a drink first before he arrived.

As she sat down, she noticed a man looking her way every few seconds. Eventually, he slid over into the seat next to her. He was tall and handsome with light brown hair and blue eyes, he would've been someone to catch her eye if she wasn't already waiting for someone.

"You look very familiar," he said smoothly, his voice was deep and rough.

She smirked but chose not to look at him. She replied, her eyes straight ahead.

"Considering I'm the tabloids favorite subject at the moment, it isn't surprising,"

"Ah yes. Admiral, right?"he asked.

She finally decided to look at him, his smile was gentle, a stark contrast from the rest of him.

"Yes, but I prefer Kathryn,"

"Well…Kathryn, you're looking rather lovely tonight if I may say so,"

"Thank you, but…I'm waiting for someone," she replied politely.

"Would that someone happen to be a former commander you know?" he asked.

"So, you do read the tabloids," she replied.

"Maybe I've glanced once or twice," he said with a smirk.

"Then you must know I'm in a relationship,"

"I do,"

"And yet here you are, seeming a bit flirtatious,"

"Flirtatious?" he asked.

"Yes, flirtatious. You know, coming over here with your nice eyes and perfect smile, chatting me up like an old friend even though we've only just met,"

"You've got me, Admiral. So..do I really have nice eyes?,"

"What is it that you really want?" she asked gently.

"Would it be too much to say dinner, with you?"

She thought for a moment. She realized that she was being ridiculous, giving up a chance to have dinner with someone based on a fake boyfriend. She didn't owe Chakotay anything.

"Maybe," she replied.

"Maybe? At least it's better than no,"

"How about I get your name and then we can possibly discuss dinner,"

"George Dunn,"

"And what do you do, George Dunn?"

"For work or..."

"For work, what do you do for work," she said with a chuckle.

"I'm a writer, I write holonovels," he answered.

"Interesting,"

Chakotay was running a few minutes behind. He hoped Kathryn wouldn't be too angry. As he walked into the restaurant, his eyes immediately darted around the room looking for her. His smile faded when he found her at the bar, talking to someone else. At first, he thought that it was an innocent conversation, but then the man moved his hand to cover her own. His blood began to boil, but he hadn't reached his breaking point until the man leaned over to whisper in her ear and made her laugh. Without thinking, he walked right over to them.

"Kathryn? Care to introduce me to your friend?"

"Uhh, I didn't know you were here," she said nervously. She noticed how angry he was. Thinking for a moment she realized that it was probably an act, that he was pretending to be angry because that would be the normal response if they were actually in a relationship. Something about him, told her that he wasn't pretending, not in that moment.

"That's obvious, but you never answered my question. Who the hell is this?" he asked.

"George. His name is George and we were just talking, there's no need to be upset,"

"Sure...just talking," Chakotay scoffed.

"Maybe I should go," George said to Kathryn.

"Yeah, maybe you should," Chakotay said furiously.

George walked away shaking his head.

"What is your problem?" Kathryn asked.

"I think we should go somewhere else," he said walking away.

She followed him outside.

"Are you going to answer my question?" she asked impatiently.

He huffed angrily.

"How do you think it's going to look if the woman I'm supposed to be dating is seen out with someone else? He was all over you, and to the outside world you're supposed to be seeing me,"

"He was not all over me, we were having a conversation," she said, her tone meeting his anger.

"I think we should reschedule for another night," he said.

"Sounds fine with me. I've lost my appetite," she began to walk away.

"At least let me walk you home," he said.

"Why? You don't trust me to get there without having public sex with some handsome stranger along the way?" she asked bitterly.

"Kathryn, please. Can I just walk you home?" he said, ignoring her outburst.

"Fine," she said.

The walk to the transporter station as well as the walk to her house were both completely silent.

As she opened the door, she tossed her coat on the couch and sighed.

"Are you going to see him…After our agreement ends?" he asked, more than a hint of sadness and jealousy in his voice.

She had finally done it, made him feel just a bit of the pain that she had endured, but it didn't make her feel any better.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, tears filling in her eyes.

"Doing what?" he asked.

She turned around and broke his heart. He could see the pain written on every feature of her face, he wanted to die at the thought that he caused that.

She asked herself why he was feeling this pain in the first place, why did he care at all?

"You act the part of a jealous boyfriend, but I get the feeling that it wasn't so hard for you to pretend. Why? Why do you even care, when none if this is real?" she asked but received no reply.

"This whole Goddamn time, every date you'd say all the right things, get me to open up, make me laugh. When I'm with you I feel better than I've felt in a long time. But at the end of the night, I come home and I realize it was all pretend, that I'm alone… and that you're in love with someone else. Worst of all, it had to be her; so young, blonde... and beautiful. Things that I will never be. But sometimes, just for a second, I think that maybe those things aren't so important. That maybe you could feel for me what I have felt for you for ten years. And I hate myself for being so idiotic as to believe such a fantasy. So I can't do this anymore. This constant cycle of gaining and losing hope, it's killing me. I need it to stop," her voice cracked under the pressure from her emotions.

Chakotay couldn't believe what he was hearing. She didn't think she was enough. She didn't think that she was beautiful. And worst of all, she didn't think he loved her. By then, she wasn't the only one crying. He was never so angry at himself. He broke her heart.

"Kathryn, I…" he began, trying to find the right words.

"No…please just go," She said, turning away from him.

"I love you," he said.

"What?" she turned back around, disbelief in her look.

"I said, I love you. You're not an idiot. If anyone here is an idiot, it's me. I never meant to hurt you,"

"You don't have to say that. Please don't say it if you don't mean it," she said, casting her eyes down to the ground.

He walked over to her and gently took her chin in his hand. Looking deep in her blue-grey eyes, he spoke his next sentence with as much sincerity as he could convey.

"I'm not saying this because I feel bad or because I feel as if I have to. Kathryn Janeway, I have loved you for a very long time. I think you are beautiful, smart, funny, and incredibly sexy. These past few weeks have only solidified those thoughts," he said.

She wiped the tears from her face.

"So, what do we do now? Where do we go from here?" she asked.

"That is entirely up to you, but I would like to take you on a real date. Tomorrow night, we can have dinner at my place, I'll cook," he said.

"Ok," she said with a smile, not believing that this was the reality.

"And we can do this, 'dating thing', at whatever pace you're comfortable with. If you feel that we need to take this slow, I completely respect…"

She held a hand up to stop him.

"We've been dancing around this for too long. We're going to have sex, and it will be tomorrow night. If I didn't feel so gross and puffy right now, I'd be pushing you towards my bedroom this minute," she said seriously.

"Sounds good to me," he said, laughing.

Kathryn took a big breath.

"Look at us, we're a mess," she said, running her fingers across the streaks from his own tears.

"You still look beautiful,"

"Shut up," she shook her head.

He couldn't believe that she had such a hard time believing it.

"I'm serious," he said.

"How about I replicate us some food and we sit and talk some more," she suggested, still ignoring his compliment.

"Sounds great,"

He gently brushed his hand along her cheek and brought her lips to his. Their kiss was raw and deep, more revealing than any of their other kisses, and it no longer had restrictions, no longer had rules to hold it back.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," she replied.

Author's note: This is NOT the last chapter. Still two or three more! Let me know your thoughts on this chapter!