Chakotay placed the plate of eggs and toast in front of B'Elanna's hungry eyes.

She grabbed a piece of toast and took a large bite.

"You're never this hungry unless you're hungover or pregnant, so which is it?"

"Hungover, but this isn't about me. I want the full explanation on why you thought it was a great idea to lie to Kathryn,"

He paused.

"For almost seven years I waited. Sure, there were a few flings along the way, but none of them really meant anything. I knew that I loved her and that no one else could really take her place. I tried to wait until we got home, but I'm not sure what really drove me to accept Seven's offer. Maybe it was the loneliness, the flattery that came with someone like her being interested in me. When we got home, I decided that if Kathryn wanted me then she'd tell me. My relationship with Seven was still so new and I would have ended it if she even hinted that she wanted me. After a while, I figured that she didn't really feel that way about me anymore,"

Chakotay moved around the kitchen and got B'Elanna a cup of coffee.

"Thank you," she said.

He nodded.

"Seven wanted out of the relationship after almost three years together. She realized that she wasn't ready to settle down, get married and have kids, but knew that if she stayed in the relationship, that's where we were headed. I agreed, and I understood. It was the only real relationship she had ever been in. She needed the freedom to explore her humanity and experience new things, but I've already done that. I was looking for permanence, a home, a family. In the end, I wasn't sad or shocked, and I realized that maybe it was because my feelings for someone else were still there; dimmed and nearly forgotten, but there. Then I received the letter telling me that everything I felt over the past near-decade hadn't gone unreciprocated. The letter reignited my feelings and validated them. I started to understand Kathryn a little more, her true feelings and thoughts, her motivations for not telling me,"

"So why didn't you just confront her like an adult and talk things out? Why did you have to make it so complicated?"

"That's what I tried, at first. Then something with her ex-fiancée happened and the next thing I knew she was kissing me and running away. Later that night, I was approached by Phoebe and Naomi. They explained what the letter was and how it got to me in the first place. I learned that Kathryn never wanted those letters to get out. She never would have told me how she really felt. I needed to figure out how to get her to loosen up and not be embarrassed around me, I wanted to get back into her life and I thought she wouldn't let me in unless…"

"Unless you tricked her," B'Elanna cut in.

"Unless I got creative," he corrected.

"So, I made up this plan, and it worked, well...it was working. We went on dates and we talked for hours, and laughed. I'd kiss her at the end of every date to remind her that this wasn't going to be a repeat of our relationship on Voyager. I didn't know I was hurting her, I wouldn't have continued if I had. That night we were supposed to have our first date, I was going to tell her everything and hope that she'd forgive me for lying and see my intentions. Then Seven called with the news and I felt that I owed it to her to help her out. Now everything is a damn mess and I'm not sure how to even fix it,"

"Wow…you're an even bigger idiot than I thought," she said.

"That's not helpful,"

"Well, I'm sorry for stating the obvious. Chakotay, you messed up, big time. I'm not sure if I can help you out of this," B'Elanna said.

"I might have an idea," said a voice growing closer.

The two turned to see Seven standing behind them with a hint of a smile.

"Annika, really you don't have to…" Chakotay started.

"No. Part of this was my fault and I could never repay you, nor Kathryn for that matter, for all you've done for me. I'm hoping that this will make two people who are rather important to me, happy again. Now, are you going to protest some more, or would you like to hear my idea,"

"By all means, fire away. He's desperate," B'Elanna said.

Chakotay tried to be shocked by her statement, but rather quickly, he agreed.

"What she said,"

Kathryn woke up slowly. Her mind was filled with scattered thoughts about the previous night. Looking around for B'Elanna, she noticed a message on her console saying that she went home early that morning because Miral had a fever. She wrote back that it was fine and told her to let her know how Miral was feeling in a few hours.

It was a Sunday and she had no plans, so she decided to pay her mother a visit. After getting dressed and ready she opened the door to leave but was surprised to see someone on the other side, getting ready to knock.

"Sorry, I didn't realize you were about to leave. If this is a bad time I could come back,"

"It's not a bad time, Seven, what can I do for you?" she replied curtly.

"I was hoping to clear up confusion about last night, I…"

"Did Chakotay send you here?" Kathryn asked, her anger poorly concealed and her patience wearing thin.

"No, I came of my own volition. I wanted to tell you that my aunt passed away,"

"I'm very sorry for your loss," Kathryn said, her tone softening.

"Thank you, but that's why I was with Chakotay. I wasn't sure who else to call, and I did not want to be alone. Grief…is a complicated emotion, one with which I am not overly familiar. I made a poor judgment decision when I kissed Chakotay. Perhaps I was trying to seek comfort, or it is possible that I was a little...jealous, seeing all the candles and the great lengths he went to in order to impress you. In conclusion, I was unaware that the two of you had begun a romantic relationship. I genuinely hope I haven't ruined things between the two of you,"

"It wasn't you who ruined things. Thank you for telling me, Seven," she said.

"Actually, it's Annika now,"

"My apologies…Annika,"

"Kathryn, while I'm here, I wanted to apologize for something else. These past few years have been…difficult without your friendship and guidance. Had I known I would lose that upon starting a relationship with Chakotay, I might have given it a second thought. I was unaware your feelings for him ran so deep, and I'm sorry for getting in the way of your happiness, however unintentional it was,"

"I should apologize too. It wasn't fair of me to pull away from you. You didn't do anything wrong, but…it was hard for me, seeing the two of you together was like a knife in my gut every time,"

"Perhaps we could work on rebuilding our friendship," Annika suggested.

"I'd like that,"

"I should go. It was…enlightening, having this conversation with you,"

"Goodbye, Annika,"

"Goodbye, Kathryn,"

She could see how much the young woman had grown, how far she'd come since she first stepped foot ion Voyager. Her humanity, while still not fully developed, was much more evident in her conversation, her expression, even the way she carried herself. Kathryn barely recognized her. She was looking forward to meeting this version of someone she used to call a friend.

"Mom? You here?" Kathryn called.

"Upstairs dear!" She heard the faint voice call.

She huffed and followed the voice to her old room from when she was younger, practically still untouched.

"Mom, what are you doing in here?" she asked.

"Just…looking,"

Kathryn noticed a few things out of place and some boxes containing said things.

"And these boxes…are they just looking too?"

"Kathryn…"

"Mom, it's ok. You don't have to hold on to all my junk. If you want to get rid of it, I promise I won't hold it against you,"

"Kathryn, I'm moving," Gretchen blurted out.

"Moving? You can't move, you've lived here since before I was even born,"

"And what am I doing with all this space, all the upkeep, and the stairs. I love this house, but I can't live here anymore,"

"Mom, this house has been in the family for so long. Who's going to live here now?"

"I offered it to Phoebe, but she didn't want to move. Her husband likes where they are and the kids love their neighborhood, I'm not going to force them to take it,"

"Then…I'll take it,"

"Kathryn, you don't have to take it. You like where you live, and…"

"And nothing, I love this house. I'll take it, mom,"

"No, Kathryn it's too much. I can't allow it,"

"Mom, I love this house, I always have. Please, let me have it,"

"Fine then…you can take it," Gretchen said with a smirk.

It only took a moment for the realization to hit her, but once it did she couldn't believe it.

"You did that on purpose! You knew I'd take it if you told me I shouldn't,"

"A mother, much like a magician, never reveals her secrets,"

Kathryn shook her head and ran her hand against the bookshelf her father built her when she was eight, her smile fading as memories flooded her senses. Seeing his smile when she'd won his approval, hearing his laugh when Phoebe told a joke, the scent of his cologne that she'd smell when they hugged. She remembered the day he'd built her this shelf. She was so excited to have somewhere to keep her books, and she was over the moon that he took so much time to make it for her.

Suddenly she was brought back to another memory, less distant in the past, but it still felt like a lifetime ago. New Earth. When Chakotay made her the bathtub, the headboards. He was so attentive, so caring and thoughtful. Her distant, gloomy stare was not lost on her mother.

"Now, what's wrong. Am I off base to guess it has to do with a boy?"

"How did you…"

"Ok that one I got from Phoebe. She called an hour ago," Gretchen said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Not right now," Kathryn replied.

"Well, when you do, I'm here to listen. I'm not sure if you recall, but I happen to give excellent advice as well,"

"I know, I haven't forgotten. I still remember when you were there for my first heartbreak, you got me ice cream and you were there, patient until I calmed down enough to talk about it,"

"And I'm still patient. So, whenever you're ready, I'm here,"

"Thank you,"

"You're welcome. Now, I'm going to go get us some coffee, and we can talk about when you can move in,"

Kathryn looked around, her room was always her safe haven as a child. The light blue walls, the stars on the ceiling, her old books, ones which inspired her inner adventurer. She remembered staring out the window which overlooked her backyard. She'd watch her mother garden, her sister play with the neighbors, her dog run around, or her father sip on a drink and look over the changing colors of the sky as the sun set. She missed it.

"Kathryn, someone's on the comm for you!" her mother yelled up the stairs.

Kathryn walked down and went over to the comm, her mother still smiling at whoever was calling.

"Here she is, I'll let you two talk," Gretchen said, walking back towards the kitchen.

"Admiral Paris?" Kathryn asked.

"Please, Kathryn, this isn't a business call, it's Owen,"

"Alright, Owen what can I do for you?"

"Well, my son and daughter-in-law are now officially part of Voyager's new crew. They're heading over to take a look at the ship's upgrades tonight. I'll be there too, and I was wondering if the ships former captain would care to join us. We'll take a quick tour and go out to dinner afterward,"

"I'm not sure," she said reluctantly.

"It would just be us, Tom told me to mention that the ships new captain, would not be in attendance,"

"What time?" she replied eagerly.

"Six, I'm glad you're coming. I'll see you tonight,"

"Goodbye," she said, ending the call.

Kathryn took a deep breath and turned to her mother, who stood there with a smug look on her face and a hot mug of coffee in her hand.

"So…this is about Chakotay. Ready to talk about it?" her mother asked.

"I'm going to need some coffee first,"

Later that day, after talking for a few hours with her mother about everything, she was getting ready to see Voyager after three years. It was strange, thinking about the fact that someone else would be her captain, someone else would take her out on missions, meanwhile, Kathryn would sit behind a desk. Admiralty was an honor, and still had some excitement, but it couldn't hold a candle to being in the middle of the action. At the end of the day she felt that it was a glorified desk job.

She caught a shuttle ride to where Voyager was being held, and it took her breath away as the distant image entered her line of vision. Her old battle wounds had been healed and she looked brand new. Much of the integrated technology the crew had to install was taken out and examined. Some of it had been implemented in new ship designs.

As soon as she stepped foot on the ship, she felt an ache in her heart. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed it.

"Kathryn, there you are!" B'Elanna said, hugging her and guiding her to everyone else.

"Harry, I didn't know you were coming," Kathryn said, delighted to see another friendly face.

"Neither did I, but Tom asked if I wanted to see the ship and I couldn't resist," he said.

"I'm glad you're here. It's always nice to see you," she said, giving him a hug.

"My dad's running a little late. He told us that he would just meet us at the restaurant. Truth be told I think he felt like he was intruding," Tom said.

"That's ridiculous, he shouldn't feel that way. He's always welcome," Kathryn said.

"Hey! I heard that all our old quarters got upgrades, why don't we go check them out?" Harry asked.

"Alright," Kathryn said, with a smile.

Kathryn walked down the corridors with an eerie feeling. She had lived on this ship for seven years. It was home, but not anymore. She looked around and felt like a stranger.

"Here are the captain's quarters," Tom pointed out.

"I think Tom and I should go look at our old quarters. Harry, why don't you look at yours," B'Elanna said, pushing the men away from the door.

The three of them walked away, but Kathryn stood still. She faced the door but didn't open it, not yet. Taking a deep breath, she decided to finally walk in.

The room was dim, lit only with candles. The scent of flowers and the warm glow, greeted her as she walked in. It was beautiful, and if she didn't know any better, she'd assume something this elaborate came from Q. This, however, was a grand gesture to win her back, not to impress her. It was an apology, and apologies were not very Q-like.

"Chakotay?" she called out.

He came out from the bedroom area, carrying a bottle of champagne. He quickly placed it on the table and walked towards her.

"What is all this?" she asked.

"I wasn't sure how else to grab your attention,"

"There are a number of ways, but this is…beautiful," she said.

"Kathryn, I'm so sorry about last night. I didn't…"

"Annika talked to me this morning, told me everything. I'm sorry for running off without letting you explain. I just, I assumed that you were using me as a place holder and once she came back... I'd be tossed aside. I mean this whole thing started because you wanted to make her jealous using me. I jumped to the conclusion that it was still the case. I was hurt, and embarrassed,"

"Kathryn, I never want you to feel that way. I would never toss you aside for anyone or anything,"

She knew he was telling the truth. His eyes never left hers, they nervously searched her features to try and anticipate her response.

"Good, then…maybe we should start over," she said.

"Well, there is one more thing I have to get off my chest," he confessed.

"What?" she asked.

"I don't want to start anything without being completely honest...I lied. I mean, when we were starting the agreement. I never intended to get back with Annika, I never tried to make her jealous, and I wasn't using you,"

She paused as her confused mind attempted to make sense of everything.

"Let me wrap my head around this. So you weren't using me, but you were lying to me? You were toying with my feelings? What kind of fucked up…" she couldnt even communicate what she was feeling. No words could adequately convey her hurt.

"Kathryn after ten long years of feelings being buried, after a long time not talking to one another, I had no illusions that you'd simply run into my arms if I confessed my feelings. Then there was the letter. You were embarrassed and hurt that I finally knew how you had felt for all those years. I was just trying to find a way for you to be able to open up to me without feeling like you were truly being vulnerable,"

"So, this was your solution? Torture me for weeks, taunt me with the idea of a relationship I thought I'd never have, so that you could trick me into being in said relationship?"

"Kathryn, I didn't know that I was hurting you. If I had, I wouldn't have kept up the lie. I'm so sorry,"

"This…this is too much. I can't do this right now... Why didn't you just talk to me?…why did you come up with this idiotic plan?"

"I needed to do something drastic, something that would convince you that we could be great together. I promise, if you give me a second chance, I will never lie to you again,"

"I…I don't know," she said.

"I know that I hurt you. I know you feel angry and betrayed but…"

"You're right. I'm angry. I'm damned angry. I'm angry because you lied, because you made me feel like an idiot, because you hurt me. Even after all of this, I still can't hate you…but I can't forgive you either,"

"I'm sorry. I have to go," she said tearfully as she walked towards the door.

She stood for a few seconds, but it didn't open.

"Not so fast admiral," said a familiar voice over the comm.

"Tom? Let me out," she said impatiently, her hands on her hips and her voice stern.

"No one leaves until you two work everything out," Tom replied.

"This is ridiculous, let me out right now," She exclaimed.

No response.

"Tom? Goddammit, let me out of here," she said, banging a fist on the door.

"I'm not sure this is a good idea anymore," Harry said nervously.

Tom paid close attention to the screen, which showed a visual of the captains quarters.

"Will you relax? They'll be fine, I'm sure of it," he said.

"I'm also sure that all three of us are dead once she gets out," B'Elanna said.

"Looks like we're stuck here for a while," Chakotay said.

"I'm done talking," she said, walking over to the couch and taking a seat.

"Then why don't we eat something,"

She continued to stare out the viewport, not even acknowledging his presence.

"The silent treatment isn't going to get us anywhere Kathryn,"

"Well, I have nothing left to say," she replied, still not looking at him.

"Then yell," he said.

"What?" she asked, turning around.

"You're angry, don't hide it. Holding in our feelings is how we got here in the first place. So, yell at me, scream at me, tell me that I'm an idiot. Throw something at my head, whatever you feel that you have to do, I want you to do it,"

"You want me to yell?" she asked.

"Yes,"

She stood up and placed her hands on her hips.

"Fine. I'll yell. I'll yell at you about how I've loved you for years and I was so afraid of the consequences that I kept it to myself. I thought, stupidly, that you'd wait for me. I thought that when we got home we could finally be together and nothing would hold us back, but you left. You abandoned me for a twenty-something blonde, who had the emotional capacity and understanding of a child. Then three years later you trick me into faking a relationship with you. You lie, you tease, you exploit my feelings, and you make a fool out of me,"

He stood there silently waiting for her to finish, knowing full well that he deserved it.

"Now we're here, trapped in this room together, and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle it. I'm so angry at you, but I dont hate you. I've wanted to be with you for so long, but now I'm questionsing everything. I'm an intelligent person, I enjoy an intellectual challenge, but this is beyond mind boggling. I want so badly to hate you, to not want you near me, to never think about you, but I can't,"

She took in a deep breath before continuing.

"If we ever started a relationship, I know I'd be waiting for you to leave me. I'd be looking over my shoulder, scared that you'd run away again, that you'd find someone better. I can't live like that, I won't," she said, her voice no longer containing anger, but sadness.

She sat back down and avoided his eyes.

"I don't think I could handle it. I don't think I would survive if I opened up and gave myself to you only to be rejected,"

"Kathryn, I swear on my life that I could never find someone better, someone I love more. You are it for me,"

"I thought that was the case three years ago, but I was wrong," she said.

"I wanted you to say something. If you had come to me when we first got back to earth, I would have ended it with Annika and I would have gotten together with you. Why didn't you tell me this then? Why did you wait?"

She thought for a moment about the temporal prime directive, but brushed it aside considering the timeline she was about to discuss no longer existed.

"In the other Admiral's timeline, the two of you had married. I didn't think I stood a chance,"

"Kathryn…I had no idea. But that obviously wasn't how things played out in this timeline,"

"You two were together for a long time," she pointed out.

"I had given up on you Kathryn. After all that time, all the missed opportunities. I didn't think that my feelings had ever been reciprocated. Then I read the letter,"

"I wish you hadn't. That letter has caused nothing but trouble,"

"If I hadn't seen that, I never would've believed you felt that way," he said.

He walked over to where she was sitting and took the place next to her.

"Kathryn?"

Her look was distant and weary, he could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"What were you hoping to accomplish tonight?" she asked.

"I was hoping that we could have this conversation, be honest and open about everything and maybe start over,"

"After everything we've been through, everything we've put each other through, do you really believe that's possible?" she asked.

"I do," he said confidently.

His stomach was in knots waiting for her to respond. Her silence seemed unending, and it caused his heart to beat so rapidly it nearly burst. Finally she had an answer.

"Ok," she said softly.

"Ok?" he asked, making sure he heard her correctly.

She raised her hand and ran her thumb gently across his cheek.

"I'd be making a mistake if I didn't at least give us a try so...ok," she said.

"I think that we should crack open the champagne, I suddenly feel like celebrating," he said with a bright smile.

She wiped away her tears and chuckled, following him to the table.

"I cannot believe that actually worked," Harry said in shock.

"Place your bets now for the engagement and wedding, this time the stakes are higher than a few replicator rations," Tom said.

B'Elanna quickly struck his arm, causing him to wince.

"Will you two shut up? I can't hear what they're saying," she said angrily.

Chakotay went to open the bottle, but as soon as he did it started spraying everywhere, most of it getting all over Kathryn's clothing.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to…" Chakotay's apology was cut short as she hurled a glass of water right in his face.

When he opened his eyes, he noticed her standing in front of him trying her hardest to stifle a laugh but failing miserably.

"That's it," he said, chasing after her with another glass.

"No!" she shouted, giggling in the process.

He dumped it on her and in retaliation she grabbed the rolls off the table and started throwing them at his head.

"Enough, enough! I surrender!" he shouted.

She was about to throw another roll his way when he caught her wrist and drew her close. They were both still giggling but suddenly stopped upon realizing how close they were. He brushed a wet strand of hair out of her face and leaned in close to capture her lips in a searing kiss.

"I have to admit, out of all the possible outcomes for tonight, I did not imagine a food fight and a follow-up make-out session," Tom said.

"Are they gonna…" Harry started but didn't need to finish that sentence when a loud moan interrupted him.

"Yes, Harry I think they are," Tom said, patting him on the back and trying to hold back a laugh.

"Alright, come on. This isn't what we came here to watch. Let's give them some privacy," B'Elanna said.

She and Harry stood up and left, but Tom's eyes remained on the screen.

"Tom," B'Elanna called.

"Yeah…I'm coming," he said absentmindedly.

"How are they so flexible? That…woah ok, was not expecting that." He said to himself, shifting his head to the side to get a better view.

"Tom! Now!" she yelled.

He quickly hopped out of the seat and turned the screen off.

"Coming honey," he said, still running the images through in his head and questioning everything he knew about his commanding officers.

Kathryn and Chakotay slammed back onto the bed, completely out of breath and unable to stop smiling..

"That was…amazing," he said.

Kathryn laughed, still trying to understand everything that just happened.

She got closer to him and snuggled into his embrace.

"I always imagined our first time would be here, on the ship, in your quarters," he said.

"Really? I always imagined it happening in my ready room," she teased.

"Oh, I know. Page three of the letter. That was a very good page. I should have that page framed,"

She laughed out loud and hit his shoulder.

"I love you, Kathryn,"

"I love you too,"

"I'm so sorry...for everything,"

"I know,"

"I don't know how to even begin making it up to you,"

"Well, I have a few ideas, but let's catch out breath first. I have a feeling you'll have plenty of time to make it up to me,"

There was a moment of comfortable silence before either spoke again. Suddenly, a thought popped into Kathryn's head.

"So…how do you feel about living in Indiana?" she asked with a smile.