Adrian literally froze as his brain processed his mom running toward him yelling. "STOP! Let me explain."

His brain engaged and he exhaled, sharply, his anger flaring.

"Whatever." He waved her away.

"Wait! I honestly want to explain."

"Seriously? You're going to explain away seventeen years of lying to me? I don't see that happening."

Cranking the engine, he slammed Blue into reverse and hit her gas petal.

Glancing in the rear view, a green dumpster rushed toward him, and he stomped the brake, his heart thumping hard.

"Crap."

Skidding, he pumped the brake, stopping his jeep a hair's breathe away before he would crash into the dumpster.

Dropping the gear shift into drive, he wanted to floor it, but his mom hurled her small body in front of him, her hands on his hood, as she glared him straight in the eye, giving him her, "I'll kill you and bury the body" stare, she'd perfected over the last three years of their fights, when they bothered to be in the same room together.

"MOVE!"

"In your dreams. I'm not going anywhere until you listen. I know you, Adrian Sebastian Heron. And you will to listen to me NOW."

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

"Think Adrian, you're going off halfcocked and you're going to get into trouble. You're primed and ready to get into trouble."

"I'm not."

"You are." She shook her head. "No more trouble, Adrian. You're almost eighteen now. You screw up again, and the Judge Franks will send you off this time." He looked into her sad eyes. "And I don't have enough favors to save you. The judge made it clear you've gotten your last chance when he put you on double probation, so don't go and do something stupid."

She teared up, and he slumped and blew air out his nose.

"Stop with the guilt card, MOM." Don't believe her, he told himself, she doesn't really care. She's playing you.

"Promise me, Adrian. No more trouble."

"Fine. Okay. No trouble. I promise. You happy now? Now get the fuck out of my way. I hate you right now, Mom!"

"Watch your mouth. And you can hate me all you want but no more trouble."

"It's a good thing we share the same DNA, or I swear to God, I'd run your lying bitch ass over right now. That and the Ten Commandments and the honor my mother and father part is the only things saving you right now. Sorry God." He looked upward.

Damn shame, supposedly if he killed her, he'd never see Gram again.

Stupid! Ten Commandments.

"Hate me all you want, but I mean it. No trouble. And watch your mouth."

Speaking of DNA, he had Ned Walker's DNA inside him.

What a head trip since he respected the man and so did the team, like they respected Coach.

He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to wrap his head around having a dad. Would he have to change his last name to Walker?

Did he want to change his name?

Whoa, it's way too early to be thinking that kind of shit. He didn't even know what the man thought of having him for a son, except he'd fainted.

What if he didn't want him? The man already didn't like him. What if he didn't want anything to do with him?

His chest contracted.

It would suck if the man didn't want him, since he'd always wanted a dad. What kid didn't want a dad?

And no wonder he'd grown well over six feet.

Walker Starker stood at least an inch taller than him. And he looked like the man too, built solid, with muscles.

His chest ached. For the first time in his life his shadow dad possessed a face he could see. Now he knew his old man had broad shoulders and looked kind of like Darryl on the Walking Dead, minus the long hair; of course, since he Navy buzzed it.

And his dad, Edward Hawthorne Walker, didn't put up with shit from anyone.

The man had a rep.

He could have done a lot worse for an old man since Mom normally attracted losers.

Now, his head hurt as his brain churned.

"Adrian, are you listening to me?" His mom yelled at him.

Returning from the "dad trip" in his head, he threw the jeep into park and rested his head on the steering wheel for an instant before glaring at her. "MOVE! I mean it, MOM! Get your lying ass out of my way. I have to go to work."

"Don't talk to me like that and please, let me explain. Give me two damn minutes." She held up two fingers, a peace sign. But her voice trembled as she approached his door. Her voice broke. "Would you roll down the window?"

Her eyes leaked water and he tasted acid in the back of his throat as he rolled the window down. He shook his head. "Stop crying. We both know you should have been actor, and I don't believe in crocodile tears."

She wiped tears. "Damn it, they're real, and I never meant for you to find out like that."

He opened his eyes and scowled at her. "You never meant for me to find out at all."

"You're right. But I had reasons."

He shook his head and gripped the steering wheel hard.

"Okay, you're upset and have every right to be but think before you go off and do something stupid."

"I'm not you, Mom."

Tears streamed down her face, causing black lines from her mascara. "Of course, you're not. And, we both know I'm not winning any best mother awards these last few years." She shrugged. "You don't have to tell me again that I suck at being a mom and Gram's better at it."

"That's an understatement." He tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

"But that doesn't mean I don't love you, Adrian. You're my son, and I've loved you from the instant I tested positive with you. I lost Ned but I got you. You were my gift." Her bottom lip trembled, and he looked away, not wanting to see her like this. He almost believed her and his stomach hurt.

He spat the words. "A gift? Well you don't know what to do with one then. Gram always excused you by saying you're a taker not a giver, and she was right."

"She was not."

"She was. You don't know how to give. You take and you take and you never give back. Well, I'm tired of giving, tired of waiting for you to notice me. As soon as I turn eighteen and get through graduation, I'm gone. And I never want to see your lying ass again."

"Mouth. And you don't mean that. I know you're mad, but I've done the best I could by myself." She wiped tears from her face with her hands and kept crying. "I do love you. You're a part of him, of us. We created you. You're . . . special."

"Stop playing me. You've always love me when it's convenient. I'm baggage. You abandoned me after Gram died and you're trying to manipulate me now."

"I'm not. And I never knew you felt like that."

"You are and you normally get your way. Your parents spoiled you rotten as a child."

"Well, they damn sure didn't spoil me after I grew up. They threw me away because I didn't please them." She growled. "If it hadn't been for Gram, I don't know what I'd have done when you were a baby. My parents turned their backs on me. Cut me off. But, I grew up and kept you and scraped by."

Now there's his real mom, the spoiled and entitled one, complete with her own drama.

"Stop with the sob story. You had investments, your grandfather's trust fund and lived rent free with Gram, you hardly scraped by. And you grew up? What a joke." He pointed his finger at her and shook it. "You've never grew up. I acted more grown up at ten then you are now."

"Always mature for your age, well except for this cutting thing. Do you want to talk about it? The cutting thing?"

"NO!"

"Well, I damn sure want to talk about it. What can I do to help? Do I need to ground you or kill your insurance to get your attention?"

"God, give me strength." He muttered. "Mom, do want to make me madder at you?"

"No. I just don't know what to do about your problem."

"My cutting." He enjoyed watching her cringe. "Say the words and don't hold my insurance over my head. I work. I pay for my phone and my gas, and I've been cutting for over two years." He held up two fingers. "Have you ever noticed once I've bled on all my clothes? And speaking of clothes when's the last time you've cared what I wore or bought me something new? You know we go weeks without seeing each other sometimes."

"I . . ."

"And one of us has to be mature because you aren't. You've made such a mess of your life that your own mother and your grown daughter don't talk to you or me. I've never existed to your side of the family. And, now I find out your lies cheated me out of my dad's side of the family too. I'm lucky I had Gram as long as I did." He released the wheel and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I can't change my mother's mind, and Amber hates me. Look, I regret my young and dumb decision to marry Grover, but I've always stood by you, helped you when you got into trouble."

"Right, I know you pulled strings to get me on this soccer team instead of getting sent off the last time. But I don't want the guys knowing that, and if you ever mention it again to anyone, I swear, I'll never speak to you again."

Holding her palms out to him, she then turned her fingers next to her lips, pretending to lock her lips with a key. Before saying, "I swear. But I still need to fix this problem between us."

"Fix this? Mom, you're crazy. You've lied to me about my dad for seventeen years. This can't be fucking fixed." His voice rose.

"It can. Now we can meet his family."

"There is no we in this equation ever."

"But?"

"But nothing. You chose to ignore them my entire life. They're my family now not yours. Crap, I just realized Becca's in my history class, and I've hit on her. Now I'm glad my first cousin turned me down. Thanks for the head's up." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, I'd have said something if you wanted to marry her. Becca's his sister, Gina's girl, yeah, I'm sorry about that. I admit I didn't think that part through."

His voice broke, and he swallowed hard. "Like you ever do. Well, I want to meet his side of the family now."

"Okay, I'll step back. Go do it. And I've said I'm sorry I didn't tell you. What more do you want from me?"

"Sorry? What the fuck? Don't you get that you cheated me, Mom. All these years, I missed out on his family. Damn you." His blood rushed and he blinked, repeatedly as his throat closed up thinking about all those lost years.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Stop saying you're sorry when we both know you're not."

"I am. I care about you."

"That's why you go weeks sometimes before you sleep in your own bed?"

"I'm single, a grown up. I'm allowed sleepovers." She flashed him a watery popular girl smile and tilted her head and his stomach turned over.

Sometimes, his mom made him sick.

Grimacing, he said harshly, "Don't you dare smile. If you'd have been the grown up, Gram's wouldn't have taught me to drive Blue at ten. If you'd been home on Saturday mornings you'd have taken her to Shirley's instead of me."

She lost her smile and pointed her finger. "I took her all the time, and she didn't need her hair done every week. I warned her not to teach you to drive. But did she listen? NO."

"Gram was spoiled too you know?"

"And look at all the trouble she caused later."

"Yeah." He held up three fingers. "Busted for underage driving three times. And Gram went to the hair dresser for the gossip, not to have her hair done, but you're missing my point. From the time I turned ten until she died, I drove her where she wanted to go from the super store to the library."

"I know. And after she died they stopped you five times. You got warned twice before the first ticket. All you had to do was not drive Blue."

"We're not talking about me. At least my stupid decision happened at fourteen not in my forties. You the grown up should have put your foot down when Gram taught me to drive at ten." He shook his head. "But no, you were too busy hunting your next hook up."

Her face tightened. The lines beside her chin deepened. "Oh, and I don't get any points for taking her to her countless doctors' appointments? I took her where she wanted to go. Or let's talk picking up her meds and making sure the bills got paid. And taking her to the grocery store."

"Stop lying. Gerald, the family lawyer, takes care of your business, everything from paying the light bill to filing your taxes since you're too flighty to do it yourself."

She shrugged. "So, sue me. I'm not good at certain things, and Daddy hired Gerald years ago to take care of Gram, and he inherited you and me. He takes good care of us."

"And he bills you for it. Well, I'm going to handle the money Gram left me as soon as I turn eighteen."

"I don't know if that's a good idea? Gerald always handles our finances."

"I've been looking into investing in more stocks. Been talking to Jordan and I've thought about going into trading since I am good at math." He didn't mention the math test he'd bombed today.

"You know I'm clueless about that kind of stuff. Isn't Jordan still in the hospital?"

"Yeah. I didn't know you knew."

"He's your friend, of course, I knew. How's he doing?"

"I'm praying he doesn't lose his legs."

"I'm praying for him too. But we need to concentrate on you getting better. You're almost through your senior year and you need to think about college. It's past time to start applying."

"I don't know if college's for me?"

"Sure it is. You're so smart. Now I can say you got your brains from your father. But for now you need to see Ms. Anna and stop doing this cutting thing and get better."

"I don't know if I'm going to get better. I'm a cutter. I like to cut my body." And yeah, he lied well. He hated cutting. He hated the blood, the sores, and feeling compelled to feed the pain monster inside of him. He hated being a freak.

No, he hated himself.

"You're going to get better. I know you will."

"You act like I have cancer or something. As usual, your love's not showing, and I don't know how you're going to fix Walker Starker being my father?"

"He's a good man. You need to give him a chance."

"What he is a true hard ass, and he hates me, hates the team. My team wouldn't call him a good man. They'd call him an asshole."

"He doesn't know you. How could he hate you? And I know I should have told you sooner. But, I did what I thought best for both of us."

Groaning, he shook his head.

"Hey is Blue running good? You still check her oil when you put gas in? You know she leaks a little." She gave him a tiny grin and tilted her head.

"Seriously, you're pulling the Blue card?" Unable to help himself, he smiled back knowing Blue remained the white flag in their terrible relationship.

"Yeah, so does crappy Mom still have Blue credit with you?" She wiped tears smearing her makeup even worse.

He turned his head and stared out the windshield for yeah, she'd kept Blue up and running after Gram died for him. Her mechanic kept his Jeep running great, and he'd bet the man didn't bill her for anything but parts. Plus, she owned a real Blue trump card.

She'd bailed Blue out of impound the three times he got busted driving underage.

Each trip cost her over three hundred dollars, which equaled almost a grand Mom had spent getting Blue out of impound jail.

And each time she'd swore and screamed if he stole the car again, she wouldn't get Blue out.

She'd cussed she'd let Blue go.

But to her credit each time she'd stepped up.

And if Mom hadn't paid the money, he'd have lost Blue to the system, since the system's set up to screw the average person when he or she gets arrested.

First the cops have your car towed and impounded by a wrecker company, and if you can't come up with about three hundred dollars the first day of impound, the price goes up fifty to a hundred dollars a day, until you can't pay, and the wrecker service keeps your car free and clear.

They just apply for a title and the state gives it to them.

Your loss. Suck it up.

Awesome system, huh?

How do they expect you to work and pay your fines and probation fees, if they start the process off by stealing your car?

Talk about a racket.

Are they working for the mob or what?

No, the mob would have sense enough to know you need your car to work and pay them.

Instead, please step up city government, a necessary evil that needs to rethink their system.

Hey, dummies running the government, if people are walking, they probably can't get to WORK, which means they get fired and can't pay. When they can't pay they end up in jail and the taxpayer pays to house them. At age seventeen, even he knew that much and the people running things were mainly old men.

And talk about stupid old men. Did they not want paid?

Guess they don't process that well anymore?

Idea!

Why couldn't they let them call someone and let someone else drive the car home? But that would make too much sense.

"Adrian, are you still with me?"

But Blue card or not, he couldn't let her sway him. "Yeah, okay, Mom, you've got a little Blue credit. And I check my fluids faithfully, Blue's fine, and I'm not eight, so distraction won't work anymore. Now if you wanted to explain why you lied to me. Finish explaining. But time's ticking and I've got to get to work."

She sniffled, digging a tissue out of her pocket, blowing her nose and dabbing at her eyes. "It's complicated."

"Isn't it always with you? And you never think. Do you realize you just announced to a room full of people that he's my father and you love him?"

"I do love him."

"Geez, did you have to say it in front of everyone? It's going to spread like wild fire. Everyone will know by tomorrow. Everyone in the entire school will know that I'm Walker Stalker's son."

"They call him that?"

"Yeah, that's what we all call him, Walker Stalker, behind his back. I don't know who made it up but with a last name of Walker, he's got a reputation for being a hard ass and everyone knows the man does his job and doesn't give an inch."

"Ned went career Navy. Probation officer fits his personality."

"Yeah, he's all about not breaking the rules. Show up late to probation and he'll give you trash detail. Back talk and he'll make you write an essay and make you pick up trash. Blow him off entirely and he'll stalk you down and send you to juvy. The team will freak. Mom, they're going to prank me by filling up my car and locker with trash. Shit they'll be throwing trash on me in the halls. You don't understand. This is Pandora's box all over again."

"The music program?" She looked puzzled.

He shook his head. "I swear you should go back and finish high school."

"It's too late. I was never very good at it."

"It's never too late to finish school."

"It's too late for me, and I don't care what people say. They'll talk and then someone will do something, and this will be old news. Let them talk, but I can't stop loving him." She twisted her hair. "God knows, I've tried. But he's in my heart and now, I've looked into his eyes. The spark's still there, so you're going to have to deal with it."

"Fuck, Mom! You don't understand the shit storm that's about to hit me at school. And you're going to chase him now aren't you?"

"Watch your mouth. And what if I am? I saw the way he looked at me today. And I swear I didn't hide you from him on purpose. I wrote him repeatedly." She shook her head. "I just don't understand why he acted surprised. He knew. He had to know."

"I agree we need to figure out this out but that doesn't change you lying all these years, and you covering it with tears and bullshit." His voice rose. "You should have at least told me when he became my probation officer almost A FUCKING YEAR AGO? Why didn't you tell me? Tell him?"

"I . . ."

He pulled his own hair. "I lost a whole year. I could have known I had a DAD!"

"I know." She whispered.

"You KNOW? Damn right you knew, just like you knew when you stood in court and looked him straight in the eye."

"Yeah, I knew." Her face fell.

"Now, I know why you never attended any of my probation meetings. What were you afraid he'd mention fucking you then not caring seventeen years ago?"

"Eighteen and I know. And stop saying FUCK!"

"Stop saying I know and NO." He roared at her, his head hurting, and his blood rushing in his ears. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Why would you do that? Why would you keep my dad from me? Steal him from me? I had a dad, and he didn't know. He might want to be my dad. A least he could have chosen to blow me off or not."

She stared at the ground, refusing to meet his eyes as she wrung her hands. "I just don't understand how he didn't know."

"He fainted. Trust me, he didn't know. People faint when they get a huge shock." He'd fainted today too. Maybe he'd inherited the trait from his dad? Did people do that?

His dad? His brain still labored with the concept.

"But . . .but I didn't know that. I thought he knew all these years. None of this makes any sense."

"You've never made much sense, Mom, but then you've lied to me my entire life."

"Get over it. Look at my side. When did I tell you he refused to acknowledge you?" Her voice rose, and she pointed her finger at him. "When did I crush you and tell you your father didn't want anything to do with you? When did I tell you that the man I love, and never got over, wanted nothing to do with either of us?" She screamed now. "When you turned five or maybe ten? Or how about at fourteen right after Gram died and he lived across town? Look, I've worked my ass off raising you alone."

He screamed back. "Bullshit. You have two trust funds, and you've only worked doing nails the last few years because you couldn't stand the sight of me and didn't want to stay home in the daytime during the summer."

Pieces clicked in his mind.

Her face white, she looked at the ground before she faced him, eyes blazing. "That's not true. You're my son, and I love you and your insurance isn't cheap Mr. Seventeen-year-old Boy. Plus, news flash, Gram died and you hated me, withdrew completely. You wouldn't talk to me anymore. If I came home, you left or stayed in your room. You shut me out. Left me alone."

"Like usual, it's all about you, isn't it? And you didn't want to look at me. You acted like you could stand the sight of me. I thought you hated me for letting Gram die but now admit it, by the time I turned fourteen, I looked so much like him, you couldn't stand to look at me."

Her face flashed with pain, and she shook her head as her tears still ran down her cheeks. "No, never. Gram was old. It was her time. It wasn't your fault. And I'm sorry you found her like that. I should have come home. And I went to work because you didn't need me anymore. You wouldn't talk to me. And, I needed people. I couldn't spend every day going insane, walking on egg shells around you in Gram's house, if you bothered to stay home. Plus, I was lonely. I missed Gram. I needed something to do."

He understood that and his chest hurt, knowing he'd been lonely for years. One reason her lies and the family she'd cost him, all these years, really pissed him off.

"Okay, but you still should have asked him for support. He's retired Navy. Why didn't you make him pay? You should have made him help you after he came back."

"NO." She hung her head, "I couldn't ask after all those years, and I guess I believed my own lie. It's easier to think your dad's a stranger, a drifter who's left town, then a man who, when he moved back, kept ignoring you, and I couldn't bring myself to tell either of you."

"Don't you mean ignoring you? Walker said he didn't fucking know which means he didn't FUCKING know about me."

"He had to know. I wrote him over ten times. He never answered me." She shook her head. "But one of my letters had to find him, catch up with him in whatever port he ended up in since none them ever came back."

"Back to him fainting being a pretty solid case for complete shock. And you should have called him."

"I did but I wasn't family, and he'd shipped out. I swear, I tried. I wanted to find him, to talk to him."

"You didn't try hard enough."

"YES, I did. Facebook didn't exist back then. I tried repeatedly before and after you were born, but he transferred into the void and he never came back to visit again."

"Did you go to his family? His mom and dad? I'd bet they knew how to contract him."

"I, ah, no." Again, she shook her head and tears streamed.

"Then you didn't try hard enough. Walker Starker fucking fainted when he realized I'm his, accept it. The man didn't fucking know I existed."

She looked down. "Watch your mouth."

"Fucking whatever, I'm out here. I can't do this anymore."

A headache pounded like a jack hammer behind his eyes, as he pulled his phone from his pocket and powered it up.

Stupid phone took forever. He threw it into the passenger seat.

The cutting urge filled him. He needed to cut to deal with all this shit, but he'd promised Ms. Anna, so he'd find drugs and liquor after work.

First, though, he needed cigarettes, needed to feel the burn of smoke in his lungs. Screw quitting, he needed one right now. Damn it. He'd even love a nasty butt right now.

Her words pulled him back to reality. "If you don't watch your potty mouth, I'm going to slap you. It's crude. And I don't care that you're almost grown, you don't use the word fuck in front of your mother. Would you say it in front of Gram?"

He cocked his head and cringed at the thought. Gram would have slapped him the first time. "I respected her. You not at all and you say FUCK all the time. Now stop playing games, and grow the hell up. And you should have swallowed your damn pride and went to him when he moved back. Gerald would have sued him for support for you."

She wiped more tears, and he looked through the windshield, ignoring his spoiled, flighty mom reduced to what might be real tears for the first time since Gram had died.

"I ask Gerald to find him for me all those years ago, but he never could. But you're right. Ned's been back three years. I'd given up on him coming to me and moved on to finding someone else."

He turned his head to stare at her as she wrapped her arms around herself and looked small, old and somewhat, fragile.

Stabbing his fingers through his hair, his mind connected the dots. And his stomach plummeted.

"Damn, Walker's why you've been fucking, I mean sleeping around, isn't he? You've ignore me and slept around so much last three years because of him? You wanted his attention, didn't you?"

She looked away right past him.

His chest hurt as his heart contracted.

"Admit it? For once, admit the truth."

Breathing became hard. Her tears returned, and his stomach lit on fire, both inside and out.

"How could you be this spoiled? This shallow? This is a new low, even for you, Mom." He screamed, "Damn you, you were too proud to go to him first, weren't you?"

"I . . ."

"And you never went to the bars until about three years ago. I bet he'd come home. Hadn't he? He drinks at the bars doesn't he? Answer me!"

"Yes, okay, yes, he'd come back." She looked at the ground.

He interrupted her. "And you wanted him to come to you, didn't you? You meant to make him jealous sleeping around. But you didn't want him to come back to you because of me?"

"I . . ." She refused to meet his eyes.

"No, don't say a word. You've ignored me for the last three years because you're still playing this stupid kid's game with him and are afraid to swallow your pride. You, the princess, wanted the prince to come and rescue her."

"I love him." Her voice cracked.

"Damn you to hell, Mom. How could you do that to me?" He slapped the steering wheel, with the palm of his hand, feeling sick to his stomach.

"Yes, I wanted him to come for me." Her face twisted and looked pained. "Is that so bad? Happy now?" She gave a wave of her hand and hissed. "Yes, I wanted his attention. Yes, I wanted him to notice me, to come for me." She jabbed her finger into her chest then pointed at him. "And isn't that what you've been doing cutting yourself? Didn't you want my attention? Want someone's attention? Someone to notice you? Isn't that what everyone wants? ATTENTION?"

His face reddened. "NO. I didn't want just anyone to notice. Mom, I wanted YOU to notice me and stop ignoring me."

"I'm not ignoring you."

"Yes, you are!" Angry words tumbled out of his mouth. "Damn it. See me. Mom, I'm right here. Alive and watching while you screwed your way through the half the town."

"I have not."

But she blushed.

"YES, YOU HAVE. Everyone knows. They used to tease me about it at school. Did you know some of my classmate's dads screwed you, and they joked about you until I kicked all their asses. Remember the last time I got expelled for fighting?"

She nodded.

"Yeah, after that day, everyone might know my mom sleeps around, though I understand you insist on protection, and thanks for practicing what you preach, but they've learned I'll kick their asses if they talk about you around me. Do you understand me?"

She whitened now. "I didn't know. I never thought."

He wanted to tell her they called her a whore, but the word wouldn't come out because deep down what guy wanted his mom called a whore. He'd beat several of them down for calling her that and laughing.

Well, no one laughed now, and as Gram had pointed out years ago a man could screw anyone who moves and he's a king, but let a women sleep around and she's a whore.

Can you say double damn standard?

In his mind, if you slept around, you slept around, and yeah, please, use protection.

Sex can kill you on contact.

It just takes its sweet time doing it.

He scrubbed his face feeling empty inside. "You never think, but I'm the one waking up in an empty house. The only thing I can say good about you the last few years is, at least, you don't screw them at home, and you don't charge and you keep food in the fridge."

Silence answered him as she hugged herself.

"Now, I don't know if Walker Starker wants to be my dad, or if he gives a shit, but I'm going to find out. You don't get to choose for me or him anymore. I'm talking to him tomorrow after practice."

"Okay, talk I want you."

He cut her off, his chest tight and his stomach on fire. And he hated her right now. "I don't care what you want. You're still a selfish, spoiled, shit mom who cheated me out of him. Hell, I'll bet you cheated on him, which is why he tossed you aside."

Now she cried real tears and instead of making him feeling better, he felt worse. Maybe Ms. Anna's right. Poison and evil bubbled inside him, leaving him numb and damaged inside, and he just wanted to hurt her, wanted to get even for her lying to him all those years.

"Do you know I used to dream my dad would come back and realize how great I am? Tell me he wanted me?"

"I never realized."

"Did you know I wish Ms. Anna's my mom instead of you?"

She hugged herself and looked small and sad as the poison kept coming out of him.

"Kids do that, Mom, especially when you leave them alone in their own heads. And after Gram died you left me alone not just in my head but literally alone in our house."

"You were fourteen. You hated me."

"I needed you to see me. Gram was my life. I found her dead on the floor and I was lost. You acted like it was no big deal and you're so old you've forgotten that kids hope, imagine and daydream that someday their crappy moms and their deadbeat dads wake up and care about them, will turn around and give a fuck about them. Family dinners and all that. But it never happens."

Her breath hitched and her words came out in a rush. "Stop talking to me like that. I am your MOTHER and I loved Gram. I lost her too. And I did the best I could by you. Okay, I'm spoiled, and I never graduated. I didn't have a clue how to raise you, but I never let them take you away from me. Sure, I leaned on Gram, but I loved you from the first time you kicked, and I held on to you with both hands. I thought Ned would be proud of you." She hiccupped. "But he never came back. I waited and he never came back for either of us. But I kept you."

And she cried. His unreliable, shit for a mom stood there bawling, real tears streaming black trails down her face. She looked like a ruined clown.

But he couldn't stop the words roared out of him, "I had grandparents and never got to meet them. And now they're dead. Damn you, how could you do that to me? Take that's all you do. You don't know how to love. You gave Amber away, and she hates you. I guess I should be grateful you didn't give me up too. Oh wait, you had no one to give me to, right, since you'd shut Walker's family out."

"That's not true. I thought they knew. Secrets never keep in this town. I thought they were shunning us, ashamed of me." Her voice cracked. "And I couldn't stay with Grover and his family. I had Amber too young. Since Debbie wanted to raise her, I let her."

"But there has to be more to the story. Tell the damn truth for once in your life. Why did you leave Grover? What did he do? Or what did you do?"

She refused to meet his eyes like always. Mom didn't lie exactly, she avoided.

"That's it, isn't it? You did something or did you do someone, cheat on him?"

And she didn't say one word to defend herself. No, instead she hugged herself and looked at the ground.

He picked up his phone and pressed the on button before he swiped. "Great, can this day get any worse? Now I'm late for work, I'm out. Can we finish this like never?"

"No. What time do you get off? I'll wait up. I can meet you after work. We could do coffee."

"NO!"

"Please, Adrian, don't shut me out this time. Don't go and get high this time. Don't drink and drive."

"I'm not stupid. I'll stay put. I promise."

"Okay, remember you're the smart one. And I need your help. We could sit down together and figure this out. You can help me figure this out. Please?"

His stomach hurt, and he wanted her to hurt too, so he said harshly, "I'm not helping you. And don't wait up. I'm not coming home tonight. Feel free to bring someone home from the bar. I'll see you when I see you."

Her face whitened. Her bottom lip trembled, and before she broke down again, he threw Blue into drive and stomped the gas.

And at that second, he hated her lying ass, and for the first time, he felt glad Gram hadn't lived to see what a screw up her granddaughter and he'd become.

Because his fucking shit for a life didn't suck enough, he pressed against his cut on his stomach, screamed and embraced the pain.

#####OQ#####

Good news. I have finally launched my website and the next chapter of this story is already up on my site. I will post the next chapter on this site in one week's time, but I will always stay at least one bonus chapter ahead on my site.

www. Write4tvfans. Com

Just remove the spaces and select Bonus Chapter on the top bar when you get there.

As always thanks for the read, remember I love comments, stars and all the rest and welcome to my new site.