Co-Written by Neo H.B.B. Sam
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Slow Play
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Eddward Marion Jones - 11/27/14 - 8:46 AM - Entry 1: I started getting ready for today's Thanksgiving dinner with Jonny's family, starting off with my typical morning routine of showering, brushing my teeth and etc. Of course since there's no school today, I managed to sleep-in a much needed extra hour, although many of my peers besides Rolf would not consider getting up at seven to be "sleeping-in." Right now I'm ironing my best dress shirt for today's festivities, even though Jonny's parents said I didn't need to wear formal clothing. After that, I need to iron my tie and dress pants, then polish my dress shoes, and last but not least blow-dry my signature hat. I know it clashes with my attire, but I couldn't imagine parting ways with my hat; I just don't look the same without it.
My parents left me a note on the fridge, wishing me a good Thanksgiving dinner with the Woods' family. They're sorry they couldn't get out of work this Thanksgiving for the tenth time in a row, but that next year we should treat Jonny's family to dinner. I suppose that next year's Thanksgiving break will be a reunion of sorts for me to catch up with my family and friends once I'm out of this podunk town, as hard as that is to currently imagine. I just hope that today's research goes well and that I'll finally be able to find some insight as to why Jonny and Plank have severed ties. I'm still planning to go on Stratpe tonight to talk with Rikki and Juan, although I hope they won't mind if I'm a tad bit late.
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On Thanksgiving day many small businesses around Peach Creek were closed for the holiday, yet the used car lot of McGee's Motors was not one of these establishments. Peach Creek's shopping district at first glance looked completely barren save for McGee's Motors, and there was no traffic at all aside from a hybrid car that sped down the street. The vehicle carelessly splashed Ed with mud, but didn't get rid of the big smile on his face as Ed kept twirling around a comically large red arrow that pointed at the used car lot with, "Big Thanksavings Sale Today!" written on it. The used car lot had plenty of automobiles on display, with some eye-catching promotions such as, "Buy One Get One: No Money Down!" and "No Record? No Problem!" Eddy was making sure these cheap cars were shining with freshly applied wax while his older brother was soullessly cleaning the already spotless windows of the dealership's main building.
Eddy was sulking and grumbling as he leisurely waxed the top of a beige Oldsmobile Cutlass. "Dad, we've been open since six and nobody's showed up!" In frustration, Eddy chucked his bottle of wax into the street, exploding on impact which awed Ed. "At this rate we won't have turkey til eight!"
Stomping out from the office came a gigantic middle-aged man who stood a head taller than Eddy, and bore a striking resemblance to him and his brother. He puffed on a beat up cigar, and removed it with a chubby hand adorned with pyrite rings, making sure not to get any ash on his yellow plaid suit. "God bless it boys, don't ya know anything about capitalism?" he asked, literally blowing out smoke. "You need to do things competitors don't!"
Eddy's brother looked over with a smirk. "So you thought it would be a good idea to start the Black Friday sale on Thursday dad?" He threw down his rag and spray bottle, approaching his father. "You know, when the only people in-town right now are going to McNasty's for some shit fast food?"
"Exactly!" Eddy's father grabbed a lighter from his eldest son's pant's pocket as he ignited another cigar, much to his son's protest. "It's a dog eat dog world out there boys, so you gotta make sure you and your pack always play your cards right!"
Eddy sighed, turning his attention towards Ed. "Hey monobrow, see any potential customers?"
"Do potential customers need to be people?
Eddy face-palmed. "What do you think?"
"I think I'm gonna late for dinner with May and her sisters if I stand out here all day!"
"You'll stand there by the road and twirl that sign til the sun's down Ed!" Eddy's dad shouted as he crammed the lighter back into his oldest son's pocket, bursting straight through it like a bullet. "You aren't running away from work again!"
"Yes sir Mr. Eddy's Dad!" Ed went back to twirling the sign, and even started doing a little jig.
Eddy's dad grinned, showing off his yellow-stained teeth. "You see that kids?" He threw his arm over his eldest child's shoulder and signaled for Eddy to come closer, which he did. "Why can't you two be enthusiastic about work like Ed?"
"Because we're not retarded," his oldest son bluntly stated.
The shit-eating grin on his face suddenly shifted to a sharp grimace. "That remark's coming out of your paycheck, bucko." With that being sad, Eddy's dad walked back into the office as the ground shook with every heavy step he took.
"Woah dad, that's bullshit!" Eddy's brother complained and followed after his dad inside.
Eddy sighed at his brother's behavior for the one-thousandth time and walked over to the sidewalk, tapping Ed on the shoulder. "Hey Ed, I need to ask you something."
Ed kept spinning around the arrow-sign like a machine. "Yeah sorry Eddy, but there wasn't enough memory left on the GameStation4, so I deleted 'Duty Calls: The Calm Before the Storm' for 'Damn I Love Dying Souls 2."
"What the fuck Ed, I was just about to hit level six prestige and-" Eddy realized he was letting this minor inconvenience get in the way with what he really needed to ask his best friend, so he set the issue and his anger aside for the time being. "Be straight with me here Ed: do you think I should forgive Double-D?"
Ed froze and dropped the sign, stepping on it so the wind wouldn't pick it up. "Um ... well it's your-"
"Don't give me that shit Ed!" Now Eddy began to raise his voice. "I know it's my choice, I just want your opinion on it."
Ed bent over and picked up the sign as he resumed repeatedly rotating it. "But of course Eddy, that way Ed, Double-D and Eddy will be the bestest of buds once more!" Then Ed's face morphed from naive, child-like innocence to a serious, tempered look of contempt. "You owe him Eddy, Double-D's forgiven you for treating him like shit and he's been working really hard to redeem himself to you."
"I get that, part of me just wants nothing to do with him you know," Eddy confessed as he sat down on the cold, gray asphalt that blended in with the cloud-covered sky. "I still wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, sweatin' like hell."
"Is that why you sit in the shower for cosmic light years at four in the morning?"
"What the fuck, you knew about that?"
"The walls tell me you've lost control of your life."
Eddy got up and flung his arm up, smacking Ed's face with the back of his hand. Ed's head spun around, letting out a mere chuckle as Eddy grunted, heading back to the car he was waxing. At the same time, his brother walked out of the dealership building, grumbling after getting a lecture from their dad. Eddy's brother noticed Eddy pouting, which brightened up his mood as he laughed at his little brother's frustration. "Having a little pent up anger pipsqueak?" He walked closer to his little brother. "Need someone to talk to?"
Eddy gave his brother the middle finger. "Fuck off bro, like you'd give a shit about me and my problems!"
"Hey, give me some credit, I've heard enough from you and some little birds around town." He pulled out a flask of whiskey and took a sip. "So, you still can't get over your ex-girlfriend trying to fuck ya?"
Eddy's eyes widened with shock. "What the fuck? How'd — Whatever, he tried giving me a blowjob, not a home run."
"From the way he stood up to me for your baby ass, I'm surprised you never knew he loved ya." He shook his flask around to stir up the alcohol. "I think everyone but you saw that."
"Hey, I did see it!" Eddy's brother knew he was going to be in for a mouthful after that defensive outburst. "I knew about Double-D's crush on me and I didn't say a damn thing about it because I just didn't want to deal with breaking his heart or some stupid shit like that. Sockhead would've gotten all emotional and then everyone would've known about it anyway, and then where would he be? This was back when Kevin would joke about us getting married or making us kiss each other, so they'd never let us forget that he was gay for me."
Eddy's brother paused a moment before taking a shot of whiskey from his flask after hearing what Eddy told him. "Wait, that jock made you two kiss before? Might wanna see if he's still in the closet."
"I doubt it, he was just being a douche back then," Eddy informed him. "Trust me bro, Kev enjoys fucking girls too much to be gay."
The two stopped talking for a bit and leaned up against a rusty pick-up that was being sold far more than what it was worth. Eddy's brother then gave his younger sibling a slap on the shoulder. "Hey, I'll let you in a little family secret pipsqueak: mom and dad had bets on you turning out gay or not."
Eddy glared at him with disgust. "Yeah fucking right, I know dad's a huge bigot, but they never thought I was actually gay, right?"
"There was that time when you took a pair of mom's high heels..."
"Hey, I just wanted to be taller!"
Eddy's brother chuckled, taking out a cigarette and a zippo from his coat-pocket and lit up. "And lo' and behold, you got taller than me pipsqueak, congrats!"
Eddy looked down onto the lifeless, filthy concrete. "Hey bro, can you be serious for a bit?"
Eddy's brother stopped laughing, which always had a sinister feeling whenever he cut to being serious so fast. "I ain't selling you any of my stash if that's what this is."
"No not that, I just need your opinion on something." A part of Eddy felt like puking, asking his older brother of all people for advice. "What should I do after high school, just work like you?"
Eddy's brother let out a hardy chortle, nearly dropping his cigarette until he barely caught it, fumbling. "You seriously think after mom and dad kicked me out that I instantly went to work at Mondo A-Go-Go?" Eddy nodded his head as his brother sighed and took in a deep breath of nicotine. "Fuck no little bro, I traveled the world! I did shit you'll probably never do!"
"Like what?"
Eddy's brother tapped his square jaw. "Let's see now, I went overseas, had lots of sex, fucked up a few dicks, more sex, even went to Iraq for a bit without enlisting just to check out that shithole, did lots of drugs in South America, had a blast in the outback, and that's just the tip of the iceberg! Shit pipsqueak, I could publish a whole book based on my adventures if I was in the mood! Just don't tell mom or dad."
"You really expect me to believe that crap after all the lies you told me?" His big brother just shrugged his shoulders, not really caring if Eddy believed him or not. Eddy coughed and then finally asked what was on his mind all day. "So hey bro, you think me not telling Double-D about knowing his crush on me made him well, you know?"
"Fuck no," his brother responded without hesitation. "At that point you'd be apologizing for shit he did. That was all him being a fag, not you pipsqueak."
"Well, I dunno what else to think that doesn't make me want to straight up hate my friend." His brother gave him a perplexed look as he continued to smoke. "You know how we're told to hate rapists and make sure they register as sex offenders so the rest of their life sucks? Like those creeps aren't worth trusting or helping? Yeah, my therapist was saying something about that. She didn't know if Double-D was an exception to that stick-ma or not since I didn't tell her everything..."
"What'cha leave out exactly to confuse the shrink?"
"I guess I wasn't comfortable with being specific," Eddy told him, seeing an old pop can right next to him and kicking it across the lot. "I forgot to mention the fact he sucked me in my sleep. All I said was that he sexually assaulted me, no extra details."
"Hm, yeah, I can see how that'd befuddle the shrink..." Eddy's brother spat out his finished cig onto the cool gray, cracked pavement and stomped it out. "Still, I think you should just confront him one-on-one already you pussy. If you're worried about him doing anything or you freaking out on him, just get me and the rest of your dumb friends as covert back-up or something so-"
"Hey!" The two hastily turned around to see their father marching out from the dealership looking pretty pissed off. "Are you two just playing with your dicks or what? Get back to work or we're not having turkey till midnight!"
Eddy quickly grabbed a near-by broom and began haphazardly sweeping while his brother rushed inside to organize files. Ed began moving in double-time to make it look like he was working even harder to impress Eddy's dad. It was a crying-shame there wasn't an audience to see this spectacular performance of hard work and little pay. Mr. McGee chuckled, decently satisfied with his boys' work ethic, and went back inside to retreat within his office to kick-back and relax. It was the holiday's after all, and Eddy's father felt no pressure to really work on Thanksgiving day.
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Eddward Marion Jones - 11/27/14 - 10:33 AM - Entry 2: Jonny just sent me a text message suggesting that I come over early. I asked Jonny if he wanted me to bring Plank along as well, and in response he asked if I've gotten him to speak yet. I told him that I've been unable to make any breakthroughs, so Jonny said to bring him along anyway since Plank apparently loves family gatherings. I think must have I left Plank somewhere plastic-wrapped in one of my filing cabinets for the past two weeks. I should confess right now that I wonder if I've went too far humoring Jonny's plea for help. Sometimes I wonder if I should become more apathetic to my neighbors' problems, considering their past track records. Ooh, my blood's starting to boil remembering the time they ransacked my house for school supplies like a band of pillaging marauders! Before I lose my temper and turn what's supposed to be a research journal into a long-winded rant, I should finish preparing to leave for Jonny's house soon.
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"Nazz, dinner's ready!" yelled Nazz's mother from the kitchen right on cue with the buzzing timer. She quickly put on a pair of oven mitts and opened up the oven, carefully pulling out a family-sized Hawaiian pizza topped with thin slices of Canadian bacon and fresh pineapple. Her sister, Nazz's aunt Marion, was also present today for Thanksgiving. Despite her heavyset figure with a round face to compliment it, Nazz's aunt hastily set up the kitchen table with plates, utensils and beverages, not wasting anytime nor breaking a sweat.
"I'm coming mom!" Nazz shouted back as she eagerly rushed downstairs and into the kitchen. She sat on a spare lawn-chair while Nazz's aunt took her usual spot at the kitchen table. Her mom placed the Hawaiian pizza in the center of the table, and began to cut pieces up into twelfths as Nazz and her aunt Marion had their eyes widen with hunger. Side-by-side Nazz and her mom looked more like sisters rather than mother and daughter, with the only major physical differences being that Nazz's mother wore glasses and her daughter had colorfully dyed hair.
"I suppose I should say grace," Marion said as Nazz and her mother nodded, clasping their hands together with closed eyes. "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest, and let these gifts to us be blessed. Amen!"
After the short prayer, the three women each grabbed a piece of pizza as they dug into their meal with forks and knifes. "I can't believe it's just the three of us here," Nazz's mother commented as she slowly cut up her slice of pizza.
"Yeah, it's too bad my kids are overseas right now Jasmine," Marion replied as she dipped her pizza in thick ranch. "We'll be sure to Stratpe them later once they get up."
"Oh yeah, they live in like a different time zone," Nazz stated while taking a bite out of her pizza, a string of cheese dangling from her mouth. "It's just really a bummer that grandpa and grandma aren't here anymore..."
The atmosphere turned null as the Thanksgiving dinner suddenly became awfully quiet. There wasn't even a chewing sound and the silence wasn't broken for several seconds until Marion decided to shatter it by telling her sister, "At least mom was still around once you became a Winters again."
"I really wish I got it changed back from Van Fartenshmeer to Winters sooner," Jasmine regretfully said as she sipped some fine French wine. She gently set down her glass and turned her attention towards Nazz. "I would've had it switched right away for you if the courts weren't so adamant about having that asshole's surname."
"What kind of last name is 'Van Fartenshmeer' anyway mom?"
"A humorless, terrible one that should never be brought up again."
"Alright, the last thing I want is a bunch of bitter bickering on Thanksgiving!" Marion exclaimed, squeezing more course ranch onto her pizza, the white dipping sauce oozing off her plate. Nazz's mother sighed and took another drink from her beverage, this time chugging down the wine with the intention to forget. "Nazz, how's babysitting these days?"
"Was going good, but lately I haven't had any offers these days, like not even from families I've always babysat for," Nazz informed her aunt, chugging down some soda followed by a boisterous burp. Her face blushed from slight embarrassment, giggling before her mood whipped back into being drab. "Not really sure why, but it's not cool."
Jasmine and Marion gazed at each other with dumbfounded blank faces. They each glared at Nazz's chaotically dyed hair, each making mental notes on how gaudy each of the four different colors clashed. The asymmetry of the shades, strange choice of colors to mash together and the overall unevenness of it all was incredibly distracting to say the least. "Well . . . maybe it's the holidays hun," Nazz's mom lied as she tried her hardest not to crack, sipping even more wine. "Yeah, just wait till January comes 'round the corner!"
"If you say so mom."
"So Nazz," Marion got her niece's attention again, continuing to eat leftover chunks of pineapple that slid off her pizza. "Do you have any plans after high school?"
As if Nazz was zapped by lightning, Nazz dropped her silverware, taking in a deep breath and she pressed both hands against her head, elbows resting on the table. She knew this topic was inevitable, but still dreaded discussing it nonetheless. "Well college obviously," Nazz answered, nervously rubbing the indigo and celadon colored parts of her hair, sweat getting on her hands. "I really don't know where and what for."
"Oh don't worry about it Nazz," her aunt reassured, placing a hand on Nazz's shoulder. "Jasmine and I had no idea what we wanted to do with our lives when we were your age, and we're doing fine now."
"Yeah, but that was like ages ago when there was a ton more opportunities and college cost nothing!" Nazz's voice grew louder and more worrisome, her body shaking with anxiety. Her head thrust down, arms tightly wrapped around her cranium as Nazz found some comfort in shutting out the rest of the world. "I have no idea what I want to do with my life and everyone else I know already knows what they wanna do! Rolf's gonna keep ranching, Eddy will probably take over his dad's dealership and-"
"Nazz, nothing is set in stone for them or you!" her mother cried out, also placing a hand on her daughter's other shoulder. "People change their minds about what they want to do in life all the time. Believe me when I say that so many of those kids in your class are not going to be where they think they'll end up five years from now. It's alright to not know, you're still young and can go out to explore the world and see if there's anywhere you'd like settling down. Remember that you always have me and Marion if anything happens."
Looking up, Nazz smiled and wiped her face with a used greasy napkin. "Really?" she sniffled.
"Yes, now come on, let's not make this Thanksgiving a real bummer," Marion told her niece as she whipped out her smart phone that was jammed in her pants' pocket. "We gotta get ready for some Black Friday shopping tonight!"
"Oh yeah, I totally forgot!" Nazz yelled, lashing out a pair of nun-chucks, swinging them around with power and precision. She bolted upwards, standing on her lawn-chair seat as Nazz kept twirling her nun-chucks with ease. "These rad nun-chucks so came in handy last year!"
"Those nun-chucks are cute Nazz, but a Bō staff is what really helps drive back those crowds!" Jasmine informed her daughter. She reached behind the refrigerator to pull out an impressive six foot long wooden pole. Her thrusts, swings and blunt strikes nearly destroyed the kitchen, but the amount of skill displayed with her demonstration of the weapon made up for the destructiveness.
"That's nothing sis!" Marion yelled as she rushed out to her car. After a couple minutes Nazz's aunt came back into the house sporting a fireproof suit and an X15 flamethrower. "We're gonna get the best and only the best deals tonight ladies!"
The Winters family spent the rest of Thanksgiving practicing with their weapons, preparing themselves for the bloodbath at dusk known as Black Friday.
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Eddward Marion Jones - 11/27/14 - 11:42 AM - Entry 3: I'm now about to leave my house for Jonny's abode. I've prepped myself by dressing well, writing up a number of topic cards to use during dinner, and prepared a dish of my family's classic coleslaw recipe as my contribution to the Thanksgiving meal. Although Jonny's family is vegetarian and not vegan, I still made the coleslaw with the idea of the latter just to play things safe and hopefully not cause any offense. With a Tupperware dish in one hand and Plank in the other, I now step outside and head for the Woods' family residence. If I don't learn anything today about why Jonny and Plank's relationship has weakened during my absence, there's a high possibility I'll never come to a scientific conclusion.
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There was nothing more soothing than listening to some "Lovely Ludwig Van" while typing away trying to write a five page essay due after Thanksgiving Break. Jimmy isolated himself away in the confines of his room, staring intently at every word he created with classical music blaring from his headphones. It was a constant battle of sound, with Beethoven's sympathy waging war against the obnoxious roaring of Jimmy's relatives from the rest of his house. He kept raising the volume on his computer, with Jimmy accepting the fact that he might ironically go deaf from listening to Beethoven in preference to his own flesh and blood. "Goddamn I hate Thanksgiving!"
Suddenly his doorknob violently shook as if it was being hit by an earthquake, and Jimmy turned to his door like a prairie dog would from spotting a hawk. "Hey, whadda fuck you doin' in dare Jimbo?" Several rage-induced smashing hits landed on Jimmy's wooden door, with bits of splinters and paint chips hastily falling. There was a short pause and Jimmy took in a deep sigh of relief until a crowbar found itself lodged between the door and the frame. Within a few seconds Jimmy didn't have a functioning door to his room anymore, and instead had a thirty-something hideous, balding, hulking ogre of a redneck cousin standing in the entrance to his room instead. "Da hell you fuckin' doin' here Jimbo, chokin' yer chicken?"
"If you don't mind Garth, I'm trying to finish up this paper for school," Jimmy informed his cousin as he kept pressing his fingers on each key, giving back his attention towards his homework.
"Come on Jimbo, it's Thanksgiving, you needa be spendin' it wit' your family 'n not cooped up in here like a damn bird," Garth complained as he made his way towards the computer. He loomed over Jimmy to see what business he had, pushing his cousin aside to browse Jimmy's essay. "What'cha even writin' 'bout anyway boy?"
"Well Garth, to tell you the truth-"
"Whadda the fuck is dis shit?" Garth bellowed, hammering Jimmy's keyboard with his fist as several letters were scattered everywhere after the initial explosion of anger. "You're written' some real fuckin' liberal crap here Jimbo: "Strong ev-i-dence humans ar' responsible fer global warming,' 'greatest human-i-tarian crisis uff our time, 'carbon poll-lou-ton." Oh sweet Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick Jimmy, you can't actually believe dis bullshit!"
Jimmy stepped back frantically, tripping over one of his old stuffed animals. His cousin was about to have a volcanic, choleric meltdown, and Jimmy needed to think fast before there could be a massive, catastrophic eruption of conservative rhetoric. "The school's biased Garth, I swear!" Jimmy pleaded as he continued to scoot back up against his wall. His cousin's steam began to simmer as a Jimmy could see an opening of hope, and like a sniper Jimmy had to make sure he had his target marked through his scope of lies. "You can't pass a single course there if you don't regurgitate their liberal garbage! I tried saying that global warming isn't real but my teacher said that if I didn't say otherwise, I'd fail!"
Garth stood still, emotionless with a blank-face and it scared Jimmy. In a couple of second's Jimmy's fear was justified as his older cousin punched a hole through his wall, shaking the entire house. Drywall and dust flew everywhere as Garth screamed at the heavens, "Fucking liberals!"
"Now just what in tarnation is all this ruckus up here?" asked Jimmy's uncle Benjamin, who came walking by to see the commotion. Square-jawed with the physique of a circus strongman and a full head of gold-blond hair, this mighty lupine of a man looked twenty years younger than he actually was.
"You won't fuckin' believe what Jimbo's school is makin' him learn dad!" Garth roared, pointing at Jinmy's computer. "Check out dis commie crap dey're forcin' him to shit out!"
Benjamin sat down at Jimmy's desk and scrolled through his essay, reading it from the top and steadily analyzing it. While Garth kept jabbing his finger at the computer screen, screaming obscenities at every little thing that bothered him, Jimmy felt powerless. The last time he could remember feeling this weak and helpless was last year's Thanksgiving dinner, and the year before that as well. "If only mother and father let me visit Felix and Fritz," Jimmy thought as he got up, clinging to his bedpost for comfort.
"Jimmy," his uncle stoically said, getting Jimmy's attention. "Did the school really make you write this? You can be honest here boy, we're family and understanding."
Jimmy had to hold back making a verbal retort at that lie, but he had to respond anyway. "Yes," he gulped, shaking as his grasp grew tighter.
"I see." Benjamin spun around in Jimmy's chair for a bit, gazing up at his ceiling. He rested his feet on Jimmy's desk and told his son, "Garth, your old man needs to have a one-on-one talk with Jimmy. The game should be starting soon anyway, and you don't want to miss that son."
"Nothin' more American dan seein' eagles 'n cowboys playin' da best damn sport ever," Garth commented as he waltzed out from Jimmy's room, continuing to make obnoxious noises comparable to a troglodyte.
Jimmy sat motionless on his bed as it was just him and his uncle in the room. The two stared silently at each other for what seemed like hours to Jimmy. There was something about his uncle's relaxed demeanor that instilled more terror into Jimmy than Garth's ballistic behavior. "Jimmy, have you ever wondered why you've always been my favorite nephew?" Jimmy shook his head no, lacking the confidence to verbally say it. "It's because you, your father and I are the only ones in this fucking family with any damn brains!"
Jimmy laughed nervously, unsure if to respond modestly or with pride. He did sigh in relief that his uncle didn't seem mad at him, as it was rare he received any sort of praise from his harsh family. "Was my essay any good Uncle Benjamin?" Jimmy asked anxiously, seeking more approval. "I've been writing it for the past week."
"From an academic viewpoint it meets all the criteria: it's well-written, has good, trusted sources, nicely organized, coherent, great use of quotations and all that jazz." Jimmy smiled and even let out a quiet squeal in joy. But that quickly changed when he saw his uncle suddenly putting the essay in the recycle bin of his computer and deleting it. Jimmy's jaw dropped, sullen and shocked, nearly exploding in rage that several pages of writing were now gone, unable to be recovered. "Unfortunately Jimmy, it's not good if the CEO of Conch Oil has his nephew spilling the beans about global warming."
Sure Jimmy still had a few days to create a new essay for school, but that didn't change how on the inside, he was absolutely furious about losing all his work. Sadly for him, Jimmy couldn't show his ire, that wouldn't end well for him at all. So he took a deep breath and whimpered, "But why?"
"Contrary to what the media says Jimmy, those who lean to the right aren't always retarded like Garth." Benjamin rolled himself closer to Jimmy, sternly glaring at his timid nephew. "See Jimmy, I know global warming's real, but if too much of the general population begins to believe it, then that jeopardizes my livelihood. So many people in this country- no, world are willfully ignorant sheep who need shepherds so they're not led astray. Do you know why Garth is a measly franchise owner of some restaurants while I'm in charge of the North American subsidiary of an incredibly powerful oil and gas company? It's because I don't rely on being reckless zealot like my son, instead I combine ruthlessness with cunning, and without that I wouldn't be where I am today."
Jimmy gulped as his muscles tightened, growing far more tense. "I can be crafty Uncle Ben," he pleaded, no longer shaking but still full of anxiety.
"I bet you think so Jimmy," Benjamin replied as he continued to spin around in his nephew's chair. "Sure, despite that effeminate exterior of yours, you think you're hot shit right now. Let me guess, you have a decent social standing in school for the moment, maybe even managed to rough up one punkass with some help from your pals? Well it takes a hell of a lot more than that to get ahead in the real world Jimmy. I could go on for hours about my climb up the corporate ladder, and let me tell you boy: it's fucking ugly. Crude, smelly, audacious, definitely scandalous, shit Jimmy, the stuff I've had to get involved in makes your father's work look tame in comparison. I've ruined so many lives, I've lost track decades ago, but today I think I'll need to add another to that list."
Benjamin pulled out his smartphone and called up one of his associates on speed-dial. "What are you doing Uncle Ben?"
"Hush Jimmy, I'm teaching you and your teacher a valuable lesson," he hastily informed his nephew. "Hey Ronald, sorry to call up on Thanksgiving like this, but I need you to dig up some dirt on a Mr. Christenson. He's my nephew's English teacher at Peach Creek High and I need him removed from his position. No, don't kill this guy; just find a way to get him fired so he never teaches another day in his life again. It doesn't have to be done today; I know you've been itching to spend some time with the wife and kids. Just make sure you have it done by Monday, thanks."
Jimmy's jaw dropped after his uncle ended the call. "He was my favorite teacher at that shithole Uncle Ben!" It took every ounce of willpower not to strangle his uncle for that malevolent act, and even more strength not to cry.
"That was just a low key example of what real power is boy." Benjamin firmly pulled Jimmy off his bed, escorting himself and his nephew from the room. "Let's get outta that cavern you call a bedroom and discuss some more business outside. I think I'll even round up your father too. You might not have school today Jimmy, but your old man and I are gonna teach you more about life than any shit academic curriculum could. Might wanna use the bathroom first, we'll be outside talking for a while."
As Benjamin descended down the stairs, Jimmy made his way into the bathroom. He didn't have to use the toilet, but the privacy provided him space to let it all out. Tears rushed down like a dam exploding as Jimmy pounded the sink, creating bloody wounds on his fists. He couldn't even bear to look at himself in the mirror; for all Jimmy saw was a weak, pathetic, liberal-minded lamb left in the hands of mercy at his family of wolves.
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Eddward Marion Jones - 11/27/14 - 12:37 PM - Entry 4: Jonny was kind enough to invite me inside his home while his parents were busy preparing a vegetarian Thanksgiving dinner. His parents appreciated the coleslaw I brought over and set it in their fridge to have later today. It had occurred to me that I haven't stepped foot inside Jonny's house since that Arbor Day party he orchestrated during my sixth grade year. If I can remember correctly, that ended with Jonny and Ed passing out from nonstop singing and dancing, with Eddy and I escaping that torment around four in the morning, on a school night no less. I don't recall seeing Ed, Jonny or Eddy the following day at school, the three probably being far too exhausted after that awkward event, although I was fairly tired myself. Not as sleepy as the time I spent fourteen hours and seven minutes creating that toothpick replica of the Golden Gate Bridge, but still fairly groggy.
I have to applaud Jonny's parents for being surprisingly kind and patient with Ed, Eddy, and I even after we destroyed their house on at least one occasion. It was a miracle that incident never resulted in us three personally being prosecuted, although I do believe our families settled outside of court and are still paying for damages. Jonny's parents informed me that dinner will be ready in about roughly an hour, so for now Jonny and I are entertaining ourselves with a rather bizarre "anime dating game" he has on Smoke. Lord knows what Eddy would think of an avian dating simulator, considering how he strongly detests birds. Speaking of smoke, it might be my imagination but the atmosphere in Jonny's house seems a bit hazy. Maybe it's some sort of new-age incense?
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Kevin and his father feasted upon the Korean cuisine cooked up for them by his dad's fiancée. The meat, rice, noodles, and steamed vegetables were so sweet and spicy, tasting incredibly succulent and exotic to their mouths. They sat at the kitchen table eating away, their plates still full of food while the dish in-between theirs was empty, save for some leftover sauce. While Kevin and his father could stay home and relax on Thanksgiving, the same couldn't be said for his dad's fiancée who was getting ready for work now. "Oh man Sue, this is so freakin' unreal!" Kevin's dad shouted to his future wife. If you took Kevin and added eighty pounds of fat, moved all the hair on his head over to his back and shoulders, and splattered freckles everywhere, you had his father.
He elbowed his son the chest, with Kevin spitting up some food while his dad gestured him to give his fiancée a compliment. "Yeah, this is pretty good!" Kevin yelled, coughing a bit after the quick jab. Granted he thought the meal was a bit weird, but Kevin couldn't remember the last time he had a traditional Thanksgiving dinner that involved a stuffed turkey.
"Don't get used to it you two!" she shouted from the second floor. Sue rushed downstairs in her wrinkleless navy blue police uniform, sporting a tight military bun complimenting the color of her apparel. Her sharp chin pointed downwards as Sue clicked together the sternum strap of her duty belt. She hustled into the kitchen with a disciplined form, her short, athletic column-shaped figure and tan skin making for quite the physical contrast with her fiancé.
"Man, it really flippin' sucks you gotta work on Thanksgiving babe!" Kevin's father groaned while stuffing his face with rice. "You're gonna miss out on me and Kevin relaxing, watching the game, making some bets on said game in our fantasy football leagues, having a couple of drinks-"
"I'm gonna cut you off right there Erik and pretend I didn't hear you offering alcohol to a minor." Sue pressed her index finger on her fiancé's lips as Kevin lightly chortled. She did a quick check on her duty belt to make sure everything was in its place. Taser, pepper spray, baton, radio, gloves, keys, flashlight, two sets of handcuffs, magazine pouches and a lighter than average Glock. The weight of the Glock gave Sue a perplexed look as she checked the inside of the magazine: empty. "Alright, which one of you chucklefucks played around with my Glock again?"
Without a moment's notice, Erik jumped up and pointed blame at his son. "Kevin that is very freakin' irresponsible and wrong to play with Sue's Glock like that!"
"Oh don't throw me under the bus dad!" Kevin slammed his fists on the kitchen table, sending most of the food flying upwards, some splatting onto the wooden floor. "You're the one who fucking shot the shit outta the target yesterday!"
"I have no flippin' idea what the hell you're talkin' about Kev, you must be uh, delusional or something!" Kevin pushed the fridge aside to pull out a hole-ridden target in the shape of a human silhouette. None of the shots were even close to the head or heart however, with many covering the target's sides instead. "Woah now son, now you're pulling some sort of Iran-Contra false flag operation on me or something!"
Sue whipped out her baton and smashed it against the kitchen table. A decent fissure was formed that went from the edge to the table's center. "That's enough you two!" Sue screamed, putting her baton back into its holder while Kevin and his father stared at her in silence. She checked the magazine clips in the pouches of her duty belt, and sighed with relief that they still had ammunition inside them. "You know, I get a lot of domestic violence calls on Thanksgiving, and don't even get me started about the hell on earth that's Black Friday. Erik, I love you, but God help me if you ever pull this shit again."
"Alright, I promise babe, sorry for making things unsafe and stuff," Erik apologized, wiping his face of food as he went in to kiss his fiancée. Kevin rolled his eyes as Sue kissed her fiancé back, only to gain a smirk on his face as his dad followed up on that kiss with a slap to her ass.
"Are you serious Erik, right in front of Kevin?" Kevin and his father could barely contain their laughter as Sue's face turned firetruck red. "God, no wonder he's such a fuck-boy!"
"Hey!" Kevin quickly grew defensive at that comment. "I'm no fuck-boy!"
Kevin then immediately backed up against the kitchen wall as Sue got directly into his face. His father just stood there watching, a bit unnerved at his fiancée's sudden bout of enmity. "When you constantly sleep with girls as if they're just objects to satisfy your horny, teenage urges, that makes you the walking definition of a fuck-boy." Kevin gulped and glanced over at his dad, who merely shook and shrugged his orange carpet-covered shoulders. "What I wouldn't give to be a drill sergeant again just to whip you into real shape. You know Kevin, a lot of hot-shits just like you come into the military, thinking just because they have a six-pack that basic will be a breeze. They don't realize that punks like you are the first to crack and start bawling in the middle of night. You might be physically fit, but you don't have what it mentally takes to survive any of the branches, especially the Marines."
As Kevin kept shaking in fear Sue walked off and slammed the door, causing the entire house to wobble. For a few seconds Kevin and his father just stood there in silence, too hesitant to move. That was until Kevin could shake no more and like a bomb finally going off, Kevin exploded with rage, malevolently flipping the table and sending every bit of food being catapulted towards the wall. Kevin aggressively breathed like an animal and was smoking like an overheated hot-rod. "Who the fuck does that bitch think she is?" Kevin roared as he grabbed his chair by the legs and smashed it against the upside-down table, obliterating it into pieces.
"Hey Kevin, you need to freakin' get your shit together and simmer down!" Kevin's dad boomed back at his son. Kevin snapped out of his anger, but continued to breathe with emphasis. Erik walked up to his son and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Look, I know Sue can be pretty assertive at times, but she cares Kevin, she really cares. It's my bad I got her stressed out, and I'm sorry for pulling a Bill Belichick on ya. Sue doesn't just love me Kevin, she loves you too. Heck, just between you and me son, I'm pretty sure love's gotta be the reason why Sue hasn't left me like every other woman I've tried having a thing with after your mom passed on. Trust me Kev, I wouldn't of proposed to her if I didn't think it was for the best, for the both of us! Plus in bed Sue's-"
"Okay dad I get it, please don't tell me about you and Sue's sex life again." Kevin carefully stepped over the mess he created and grabbed some cleaning supplies from under the kitchen sink. As Kevin began scrubbing off food from the walls and cabinets, he looked to his dad and proclaimed, "I bet you aren't getting any tonight."
"Yeah, that's basically a given." Erik decided to join in the restoration to his kitchen as he picked up the table so it could stand again. "Game don't start for awhile, but I figure we should hustle anyway."
"Thanks dad." Kevin smiled and continued scouring the kitchen while his dad made repairs to the broken table and chair. Overall this Thanksgiving wasn't so bad for Kevin compared to previous years. Despite Sue's strictness, she was a lot better than most of the women his father had went out with before. Not that Kevin wanted to discuss that right now, him and his father had a kitchen to clean so they could drink and relax to some Thanksgiving football soon.
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Eddward Marion Jones - 11/27/14 - 1:45 PM - Entry 5: Thanksgiving dinner has been served. Jonny's family brought out a large platter of vegetables, many of which I'm surprised they'd have for Thanksgiving. Beets, radishes, rutabaga, cilantro, kale leaves, nappa cabbage and several other locally grown vegetables were present and accounted for. Granted, it's not uncommon for people to buying those vegetables in the area, especially from Yeson's, but to make such a grand feast with them is certainly impressive. Ooh, just bringing up my place of work reminds me of several bemusing events I've witnessed there, but I can't get get side-tracked with my notes right now, I'll have to save those tales for another time.
I found out where the haze was coming from as well. It turns out that Jonny's parents smoke, and their preference appears to be . . . well, I'm not too sure. Something about it reminds me of marijuana, but it doesn't smell anything like what Ed and Eddy smoke, or the kind that Rikki, Juan, and I experimented with back in Canada. Although in my childhood I was incredibly anti-drug thanks to the D.A.R.E. propaganda we've received in schools, now I hold a more neutral, borderline favorable stance on narcotics. I'm not really too keen on using marijuana myself, but I do see the medical advantages it carries and I would not be against it if this redneck town ever gained a medical marijuana facility. Plus, I believe legalizing it could help control the substance more than the government's counter-productive, mishandled "War on Drugs," and its attempts at policing anything resembling marijuana. But alas, enough about my personal opinions, they're irrelevant to the research I'm trying to conduct.
I tried inquiring as to what Jonny's parents were smoking, but both of them kept dodging my question in a calm and collected tone, switching the conversation to whatever was on my topic cards (they slipped out from my pocket, which his parents were greatly amused by). The two are very relaxed in contrast to Jonny's hyperactivity, his mother especially as she told me (several times) that she hasn't had anxiety in years. His father seemed more interested in eating the vegetables that he prepared. Both of them are also quite skinny, even more so than Jonny, and I wonder if this is because of their vegetarian lifestyle or if they all have high metabolisms. Either way, Jonny's parents seem to have a happy, liberal and interracial marriage despite Peach Creek's conservative deep south atmosphere.
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In the Park 'n Flush trailer park, Ed found himself inside the Kanker's mobile home celebrating Thanksgiving with his girlfriend's family. He sat next to Marie on the Kanker's living room couch as the two watched "Pepsin Man Saves Thanksgiving," or rather, Ed was near-hypnotized by the show while Marie slouched back editing videos on her phone. "So, what's May making us for dinner?" Ed abruptly asked once the special went to a commercial break. "I can't wait for round two of Thanksgiving!"
Marie let out a small cackle as she told Ed, "We're having the finest in microwavable junk from our local Want*More, plus some leftovers May brought home from Big Jim's."
"Yum, my favorite!" Just then, the two then heard footsteps coming from the stairs and turned their heads to see Lee decked out in what appeared to be SWAT-gear body armor. Of course it wasn't authentic tactical gear, but instead a makeshift outfit that looked like it was created in only a few hours. Her getup consisted of an old paintball outfit with a padded jacket, urban camo pants, Lee's junkyard boots, Marie's dark skull-faced ski mask, Ed's old lineman gloves for football, safety glasses and an old spray-painted black bike helmet that formerly belonged to May. "Why is Lee wearing May's helmet?" Ed questioned at seeing Lee's apparel.
Marie laughed at her sister's outfit and took a picture with her phone. "Wow Lee, forget your badge with all that shit?" she mocked, snapping a few more photos of Lee.
Lee yanked off the ski mask and gasped for air before snarling at her sister. "Can it Marie, my boss wants me in riot gear for tonight's shit show," Lee said, wiping sweat off her forehead. "Want*More's gonna get crazy once the Black Friday sale starts."
"Ooh, what are they selling this year?" Ed asked in wonder.
"Eh, the usual: TVs, toys, furniture, appliances and a bunch of other crap," Lee listed off. "They even got some of those Teen Horse Girls on sale."
"I once recorded a huge nerd punting a kid for one of those," Marie snidely remarked. "That video just broke into the seven digit figures last night!"
"Oh Lee, can you please try to get me an Outgoing Orange figure?" Ed pleaded, getting on his knees and clasping his hands together. "She's my favorite Teen Horse Girl!"
Lee shoved Ed back onto the couch, nearly dry-heaving in disgust. "Get it yourself big boy, I ain't gonna lose my job over a dumb little girl toy."
"Hey Lee!" May yelled from the kitchen. "Are you eating with us tonight?"
Lee looked at her watch and shouted back, "Can't, gotta jet right now!" She hustled over to the door, grabbing her jacket as she ran out to her run-down pickup. "Save me some for tomorrow!" Lee roared as she high-tailed it out from the trailer park.
With Lee out of the household now, Ed turned to Marie and queried, "Uh, so, how's your guys' mom doing today?"
Marie shrugged and whipped out her phone to check some recent text messages. "Well big guy, she's thankful again this year for keeping her updated on how we're doing with my videos," she told Ed as Marie continued scrolling through her messages. "She's pretty happy that my WeTube account went back up after that fucking Dutch shit rat got it taken down for a week!" Marie slammed her phone into the couch, the soft surface being the only thing preventing it from violently shattering. "Besides, she's still sending us checks, but Lee keeps sending 'em back!"
"Is she still mad about the-" Ed stopped when he saw Marie giving him the stink eye. "Um, you know?"
"They're still pretty pissed at each other," Marie sighed as she sent her mom a text. "It's been over a year now and neither one wants to be the first to kiss and make-up. God, mom and Lee are just too damn the same for their own good!"
Ed looked down whimpering, sorrowfully reminiscing about the similar situation with his two best friends. Yet that slump Ed found himself in didn't last for very long once his girlfriend jovially called out, "Dinner's ready!" He shot up and bolted for the dinner table as soon as he heard the word "dinner," while Marie sluggishly dragged herself into the kitchen. Ed quickly sat down and reached for the gravy boat, but May slapped his hand and sternly told him, "Slow down pork chop, we wanna eat too!"
Marie joined the second-hand Thanksgiving feast and grabbed some steaming pizza rolls, pouring gravy all over them. "Yeah Ed, we don't need you drinking all the damn gravy like a maniac again!"
As Ed watched May pour gravy herself, he asked, "Can I stay the night again May?"
"Of course Ed, but can we take it easy tonight?" she asked with an exhausted smile. "I haven't been feeling too good today."
"It's 'cause yer eating too much!" Marie jeered as she poked her sister's belly, only to get yelled at and smacked hard enough to leave a mark.
Ed smiled and chugged down the remaining gallons of gravy in only three seconds. "That's okay May, we can just do hand and mouth stuff until you feel better!"
Marie rushed for the garbage can upchucked her Thanksgiving dinner into the trash. "For fuck's sake you pigs, I'm eating here!"
Ed looked at May in confusion and informed her, "I just meant hugs and kisses." May laughed at her boyfriend's sense of humor and began chowing down on a juicy Kanker burger, savoring not only it but the day itself. She knew that with age days like this would become far more scarce, so she made sure to enjoy every minute of it. After all, as long as May had her family and the love of her life at her side, she held no fear for what the future had in store for her.
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Eddward Marion Jones - 11/27/14 - 4:32 PM - Entry 6: Jonny and I have been spending the past hour or so talking about Plank and what I've learned about him. I shared my findings with him and discussed a few other possible theories about Plank's sudden silence. Jonny seemed to only find my research adequate, since admittedly none of my hypotheses had any strong conclusions associated with them. After awhile, the conversation shifted from Plank to school, playing PC games, wondering if we should head to the store to get some snacks and other miscellaneous, trivial topics.
I'm starting a feel a bit lightheaded, so I'm thinking about laying down and — You know, the more I look at Jonny, the more I'd like to fuck him. Nothing serious mind you, I draw the line with his oversized cranium. I can overlook the fact one of Jonny's eye's is slightly bigger than the other, since personally I find asymmetry to be strangely enticing despite my OCD dispositions. But when your head's the size of a bowling ball in its third trimester...
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Sarah groaned as she stiffly lied down on the dusty, purple couch of her living room. She had been staring at the drywall ceiling for hours, having counted every little spec of popcorn texture above her. Her stomach growled like a ravenous beast, and Sarah screamed into the couch pillows for every rumble she felt. If there was another thing Sarah could add to her list of stuff that pissed her off, it would be hunger. Hunger left a desire inside Sarah to have a void filled, and the painful emptiness within her could only be quenched with food or rage, and right now the latter was what Sarah chose to consume. She soon realized just how dark it was inside, with the sky covered in twilight outside no longer providing adequate lighting.
As Sarah got up to turn on the lamp, she heard a blaring honk from outside. Turning around Sarah saw a familiar hybrid car zooming to her house, swaying as it entered the cul-de-sac. Quickly she ran to her garage and pulled open the door as the hybrid screeched to a halt, yet still crashed into the wall, thankfully not going through it but still leaving a nasty scar. "What the fucking hell mom?" Sarah shrieked as her mother stepped out of the car, wobbling and nearly falling. Her frizzy strawberry blond hair flopped around everywhere, and the accident left her large glasses cracked. The scarf, flannel and faded jeans Sarah's mom wore were stained and a small whiff of her attire made her daughter gag.
"Damn your worthless father for never reinforcing this garage," Sarah's mom complained as she coughed up some vomit onto the concrete floor. She turned her attention towards Sarah who gazed at her mother as if she was one of Ed's monsters from his B-movie flicks. "Sarah, can you clean this mess up? I'd ask your retarded father or brother, but well I sure showed the patriarchy!"
"Mom, where the hell have you been all day?" Sarah adamantly questioned. She kept a good six feet away from her mother, who was in the middle of a laughing fit. "You said you were going out to get gravy this morning and it's five thirty now! I've been starving all day mom!"
"Look at you begging for gravy like that mistake," Sarah's mom continued cackling like a hyena as she walked into the house, pressing herself against the wall for balance. "Anyway, so I went to the store and met with a colleague of mine from the college. She invited me over to spend Thanksgiving with her family out on Tomato Hot Springs, and of course I'm going to say yes. Us white devils have hurt the Native Americans so much in their history, I thought the least I could do was buy them their food and spend the holiday with them on the reservation. You should have seen it when-"
"Why didn't you bring me along mom?" Sarah interrupted as she followed her mother inside, fuming with ire.
Sarah's mom made her way into the kitchen and grabbed herself a bottle of wine. "Well I thought about it, but I decided you would've embarrassed me with how privileged you are." She haphazardly poured the wine into a cup, overflowing it as Sarah began to pout. "You just wouldn't of understood anything, asked too many inappropriate questions and overall could've easily ruined my academic reputation."
"So you completely forgot about me today because you got a case of 'white guilt' again?" At this point Sarah was on the brink of throwing a temper tantrum, but knew it would be futile in the end. "For fuck's sake mom, I was left here all by myself starving! I tried calling you a bunch but you never even picked up! I was even thinking of calling the cops!"
Sarah's mom guzzled the wine faster than a frat boy could with a giant mug of beer. She smashed the glass on the black-and-white checkerboard floor, shards scattering everywhere as Sarah covered her eyes with instinctive reaction. "How could I have raised a daughter so helpless, so ignorant and so full of internalized misogyny?" She yanked out a TV dinner from the freezer and chucked it at Sarah, who nimbly dodged the ready-made meal as it struck the living room flat screen like an asteroid. "You could have just microwaved that or order fast food!"
At this point Sarah was tightly grasping her hair while her eyes twitched at seeing the irreparable carnage done the to LCD TV. "I'm fucking tired of eating that garbage all the time!" Sarah's atomic voice made the entire foundation of the house quake while her mother licked some wine spills off the counter, unfazed by her daughter's explosive vexation. "Ever since you kicked out Ed and dad and became a college professor, you've became so fucking awful! What the fuck happened to turn the mom who took care of me into such a goddamn socialist fucking cunt?"
That last remark however was enough for Sarah's mom to give her daughter the death glare. Slowly, Sarah's mom tread over to her daughter, who ended up cornering herself and crouching in terror. "You're your father's seed." She turned her back to her daughter, and Sarah let out a tiny whimper in relief. But Sarah's small window of optimism was hammered down fast as Sarah's mom slapped her across the face with the severity of an ominous blizzard. A single tear crawled down Sarah's face as her mother coldly told her, "Go to Ed's old room and don't come out until Monday morning."
Defeated, Sarah nervously walked down into the dungeon of her house that was Ed's old territory. The door to Ed's room had been replaced with a heavy-duty solid steel prison door thanks to her brother's destructive behavior in the past. She imprisoned herself, the door locking itself from the outside as Sarah gazed at just how much Ed's room had turned into a jail cell. The dark purple walls were barren, all of Ed's memorabilia leaving with him once he moved into Eddy's abode. What remained was Ed's abominable bed, repulsive gravy-crust ridden bathroom and a pile of sponges that burst out from the walls years ago. Sarah was pretty sure there was an abundant amount of mold too, but she was far too weakened to care anymore.
She couldn't even escape from the basement window, which had been barred-up around the same time Sarah's mom had the new door installed. Lying down in the sponge pile, which was probably the least disgusting section of Ed's former room, Sarah rubbed the mark where her mom smacked her. It wasn't even the physical pain that hurt Sarah, that sting disappeared seconds after the slap. But seeing what her life had become was what made Sarah's quivering face soaked in tears. Realizing how she had hardly any support, Sarah tried her hardest to lose herself in fantasy; she pictured herself in the past when life was much simpler. Back when her mom didn't neglect her, the Eds were inseparable, Kevin and Nazz being a thing and more. To Sarah the past shined liked a bright diamond while the future was the color of coal: dark, sickening and miserable.
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Eddward Marion Jones - 11/27/14 - 6:20 PM - Entry 7: So like, I went to take a shit and stuff and suddenly I hear the most otherworldly voice ever. I saw Plank just chilling out in Jonny's bathroom with me and wow, it like felt I was in another dimension talking to him. Plank says like the funniest things man, like getting butt-hurt that I wrapped him in plastic for two weeks. No wonder Jonny's always laughing it up with a pal like that. Then he started to tell me what's up and why him and Jonny haven't been able to like, just talk you know? Too bad it was all a bunch of mumbo-jumbo that sounded like something out of Ed's dumb sci-fi movies. That stiff just trying to be a wise-ass, like he was just bringing me down with a bunch of whining about their "weakened connection," and that Jonny needs to "step up his game." Plank's one of those guy's only good in small doses ya know; then he really starts to piss you off with his wannabe Socrates shtick.
Once I flushed my crap, Plank kept bitching to make sure I told Jonny what he needed to do so they could like talk again. It sounded pretty hard so I just told that timber, "Whatever," and left him to muck around in the bathroom sink. Board also told me to put back on my pants, but those started to get tight so I let Plank keep them, same with my underwear too. Now that I think about it, Jonny's place is feeling too confining, like houses are just prisons we go to at the end of the day ya know? I think I'll just sneak out the back and have a rad time, hell yeah!
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Dinner at Rolf's home was a regular serving of meat and more meat. Sausage, roast beef, stuffed chicken and ham were the main course and the entree. Nobody had spoken since Rolf's mother called everyone for supper, the Shepard family all quietly at the table eating the delicious meat she had prepared. All except for Rolf's father however, who revoltingly glared at his son, eying over the cuts and bruises he left on Rolf's face and shoulders. The hairy beast of a man was the top contender for the most intimidating person in the room, mainly due to his large frame packed with muscles and many scars covering his arms and face. Some of cicatrices were big and others small, but the most terrifying one was the deep gash that nearly cut open his stump of a nose and continued under his left eye. Each scar had a story to tell, but asking Rolf's father how he acquired any of them would leave you sitting for days hearing him go on and on about the lore of his marks.
Mr. Shepard picked up his flagon full of homemade mead and started sloppily drinking. Once more than half of the alcohol was gone, the gold coated vessel slammed onto the table, shaking the entire surface with everyone's plates nearly being launched into orbit. "Why no speak boy!" Despite living in America for years now, Rolf's father never got rid of the thick accent of his home country. "Nothing say?"
Rolf stopped eating and sheepishly turned away from his father, earning him a snarl of disgust from him. "Pater, we are having dinner!" Rolf's mother protested, her long gray hair bouncing as she shouted at him. Although smaller than her son and husband, she still had meat and muscle on her, giving Rolf's mom a healthy plus size, hourglass figure.
"Pater know Sefa, dinner only time Pater speak to Rolf!" Mr. Shepard continued to glare at his son with frustrated, strained eyes. "Rolf spend too much time at American school!"
"Pater, the people from the school explained that-"
"The boy shouldn't be school!" Pater hammered his fist through the table, the bits of wood raining onto the green-and-white checkerboard floor. "Pater never went pass year one!"
Sefa sighed, having heard her husband fulminating about Rolf going to school more than a million times already. "Yes dear, you did not need it."
"Pater work in fields like father before Pater!"
"Pater please, we understand that-"
Rolf's father banged his shiny flagon on the table again, nearly breaking apart the table at this point as he would not stop glowering at his son. "Pater never complain, never talk back, never waste time on American trash and never ever took from family larder!" However, Rolf's nana spoke up, telling her son off in their country's native language. Rolf's grandmother was a shorter, hairier version of Rolf's father, with a pale glass eye, wooden leg and had the body odor of a well-fermented yak, giving her quite the monstrous appearance. Rolf's father sighed after getting scolded and backed down. "Apologies mama, but grandson spoiled. How he supposed to carry Shepard name when Pater gone?"
Sefa groaned again and turned her attention to her son. "Rolf, do not worry so much," she reassured. "You will do well."
"Not well enough!" Pater blasted, getting up to punch the refrigerator, denting the door and breaking it off. "In old country, get eighty-eight days flogging for self-exile and daring show face again!"
"We are not in the old country anymore Pater!"
"Pater no dumb, Pater know Sefa!" Pater's veins were starting to bulge, his skin white-hot and heart racing with rage. "That problem!"
"Pater please calm down!" Sefa pleaded, getting up to console her husband. "You don't want to keel over like the night Rolf went out."
"Father keeled over?" Rolf asked with astonishment, finally having the nerve to speak at dinner. Rolf's nana informed her grandson what happened at home the night Rolf and Ed left for their two week alcoholic adventure.
Rolf's father smashed his right fist onto the table, nearly cracking it. "Not worried, upset woman!" Sweat started to drip all over his beefy neck as his skin now simmered with a blood red hue. "Pater still upset! Rolf almost adult, yet act like spoiled brat thinks do anything Rolf want! Rolf needs know responsibility! Rolf needs know respect! Rolf needs-" Rolf's father finally stopped yelling and started gasping for oxygen. He put his left hand over his chest and collapsed onto the floor with an earth-shattering thud.
"Pater!" Sefa held tightly for dear life onto her husband's left hand, putting an arm around him as he kept hyperventilating. Rolf's nana's good eye widened, only to close it and start praying in her native tongue. Rolf yanked on the skin of his checks, having not felt this terrified since the childhood incident with the wolf. But while Rolf could fight back against that savage beast, he was panicking with the fact he was utterly near-petrified with fear and helplessness in this situation. "Rolf, call emergency service!"
"Father!" Rolf screamed at the heavens.
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Eddward Marion Jones - 11/27/14 - 9:42 PM - Entry 8: Okay, so, after reading my past two entries, I think I can conclude what occurred earlier today. I've come to the conclusion that I experienced a sort of contact high, which hasn't happened since I spent a night with Juan a couple years ago. Then again, I can also recall Juan saying how he never wanted to be around me again when I was under the influence. Looking over how degenerative my previous two notes were, I don't blame him considering the behavior I have during my altered state of mind. In order to preserve what self-dignity I have left, I'll have to make sure these findings remain in a secure location, never to be read by anyone else but myself.
It appears that after I was exposed to the substance Jonny's parents were using, I actually communicated with Plank. This is rather concerning, and what's more is that when I came to my senses, I found myself half-naked in the bushes by the front of my house. I'm not sure how or when I got there, although I faintly remember witnessing blaring sirens. I must have jumped into the bushes out of fear that I would be in trouble with the authorities, and I suppose I hid within the shrubs until I sobered up. After which, I went inside my home, took a shower, put on my pajamas for the evening, and started going over my notes. I sent Jonny a text message to ask what happened half an hour ago, and he has yet to respond. I looked outside and saw that all of the lights inside his house were off, so I'm wondering if the Woods' went to bed early or if they suddenly went out. I hope they didn't go searching for me when I was under the influence, although if that was the case I should have received a response from Jonny by now. Every other house in the cul-de-sac also has their lights off as well, which is rather peculiar at this time of night.
On another note, when I finally made it back to my room, I discovered that I missed the initial Stratpe call from Rikki and Juan. I did manage to talk to them a bit, and was relieved to see that Rikki's spirits have risen since her father passed away nearly two months ago. However, the conversation had to be cut short since Juan informed me that they were packing for a trip. When I asked where they were going, to my surprise Juan said that they were coming here to Peach Creek! This took me by surprise, considering how I didn't imagine seeing them in person again until at least summer, and even then I certainly didn't expect them to cross the border and come all the way down here! I asked if they needed a place to stay during their visit, and Rikki told me not to worry because they're bringing Juan's trailer. It's quite a ways to drive, but I'll definitely be glad to see them once more.
All in all, I'm happy how my Thanksgiving went today, although those sirens I imagined hearing earlier are still making me worried. I'm not sure why, but it felt incredibly forbidding.