A/N: Thanks to those of you who reviewed/followed/favorited. My AllenxLenalee stuff doesn't attract as much traffic as my other stories, and this is one I've put a lot of my heart into, so it's nice to have it be appreciated. :)

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I had been at the Order for a while now. It truly was beginning to feel like home. With one glaringly obvious exception, everyone was incredibly nice to me, and while I still had my misgivings, it seemed like they actually liked me for me and not just because I was useful to them as an exorcist. Lenalee especially.

In the short time I'd known her, the Chinese girl had already become the best friend I'd ever had. Lenalee was so kind and easy to talk to, and I found myself trusting her with things that I thought I'd never tell anyone. She knew about what happened with Mana, and yet she never judged me for any of it. I also loved being her confidante and having her open up to me. Even little things about her, like that she didn't like the Order before her brother came, were enchanting to learn.

Going on missions with her was always enjoyable, and this time was no exception. Though the idea of a town that was somehow repeating the same day over and over again was more than a little strange.

I liked being around Lenalee, so it was a bit disappointing when she suggested that we split up, but that was nowhere near as disappointing as meeting back up with her was, knowing that I had let our best lead slip through my fingers. As bad as I felt for letting that strange woman get away, I felt a whole lot worse for letting Lenalee down. That hard, unfeeling stare she gave me as she lectured me was quite harsh. I tried to play it off as us just having to find the woman later on, but Lenalee was not impressed with my optimism.

Fortunately for my pride, the mystery woman showed up at the pub while we were talking. Miranda was a handful to deal with, always yelling or crying about something, but it was worth putting up with, as she led us straight to the Innocence we were looking for. I thought Lenalee's theory that Miranda was the accommodator of the Innocence was brilliant, but the plan to cheer her up by getting her a job got old really quickly.

Three days later, or rather, the third time October 28th had repeated since we'd met Miranda, we were on job number six. This job was actually somewhat fun; being a street performer was nostalgic, and getting to use those skills as an exorcist was fun. It was definitely embarrassing that Lenalee had seen me performing though.

I wasn't sure why that was; embarrassment was simply the emotion I felt when she told me I was good. I brushed it aside by talking about my time as a clown, and the way Lenalee's face lit up at the thought of traveling to different countries was definitely amusing. To my surprise, she reciprocated with her own backstory, answering my question about how she came to the Order. Learning that she'd been ripped from her home was sad; it was hard to hear that she once regarded the place she now considered her home as prison. I hated that the cheerful girl beside me used to live in such awful circumstances.

There was so much more that I wanted to ask her, but we were distracted by Miranda screaming. It was awful that she'd gotten pickpocketed, but what sucked even more than that was getting tricked by the akuma and knocked unconscious.

... ... ...

When I woke up in Road's dream world, things went from bad to worse. It was a chaotic time, learning about the Noah, getting stabbed in the eye, trying to save Miranda and Lenalee. It helped a lot when Miranda was able to activate her Innocence, and it was quite relieving that her control over time was able to heal Lenalee's paralysis; it may not have been a high priority worry at the time, but the image of Lenalee as Road's doll would frequently come back to haunt me.

Working on a team with Lenalee was a dream. Not only were we much more powerful together than we could ever hope to be apart, we didn't have to work at it. Fighting alongside Lenalee came perfectly naturally to me. It was second nature; we just fit. I understood her moves as perfectly as if they were my own.

Right when it seemed like we'd leveled the playing field and were facing a fair fight, Road ordered one of the akuma under her command to self-destruct.

There was only one thought going through my head in that moment: I had to defeat it before it exploded so that I could save the soul trapped inside. I readied my weapon and threw myself at the akuma, only to be pulled away at the last second.

Watching the soul fizzle out was incredibly painful, and I was beyond angry at Lenalee for stopping me from saving it. But the slap across the face that she gave me in response to my anger was as unexpected as the fact that she was crying. I definitely did not understand what had just happened. And her explanation was just as confusing. What did us being friends have to do with her stopping me from saving the akuma?

Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to actually ask her that, as Road chose that moment to remind us of her presence.

I tried to take out my rage over what had happened on the Noah girl, but the fact that she was human really tied my hands; even though she was my enemy, I would never be able to hurt a fellow human.

When the dream world started to crumble around us, I thought for sure that that was the end of everything. I ran towards Lenalee as she called out for me, but I didn't make it. Instead, I could do nothing but watch as the ground crumbled beneath her and she fell into the darkness.

Waking up back in Miranda's apartment was severely disorienting. That we had all somehow survived all of that was nothing short of a miracle. Convincing Miranda to deactivate her Innocence was a piece of cake; I felt like I could face anything after that, and my injuries were no exception.

I did not feel nearly as confident when I next woke up and realized that being injured meant that Komui was going to have to use his giant drill to fix my arm. Honestly, I almost would have preferred to face Road again.

Losing the use of my left eye was quite an adjustment. I had never had to fight without it before, and having to do just that was rather terrifying. The realization that that was how all of my comrades fought was disturbing. But if they could do it, I could do it too. I was not going to let this stop me from being an exorcist.

Despite my resolve, I was incredibly relieved that my eye healed and I wouldn't have to actually go through life without it.

.x.x.

I was irate, livid, enraged, furious, and every other synonym for "completely pissed off" that I could think of.

I was pissed at Allen for what he'd done. Pissed that he'd needlessly risk his life like that. Pissed that he didn't seem to trust me.

But above all, I was pissed at myself. It had been incredibly stupid of me to fall in love with him like I had. And then I had to go and slap him. Granted he deserved it, but it had hurt him. And I had lied to him. In the heat of the moment, I had called him my friend. And while that's all we were to each other at the time, it definitely felt like a lie because I wanted us to be so much more.

He was my second thought upon waking up after the nerve damage I had received on that last mission. The first, of course, being Komui and how it reminded me of the day he came to the Order. But Nii-san was by far the most important person in my life, so that's really not surprising. However, it was surprising how quickly my thoughts turned to Allen in my half lucid state. I knew that I felt love for that boy, but I hadn't realized that I was already in that deep. Fortunately, Nii-san assumed my inquiry about Allen was because of the mission and his injuries; he was too calm to think it was anything more than that.

My concern faded when I learned that Allen was recovered enough to resume missions, but that's when my anger over what had happened resurfaced. Part of me wanted to go back to how things were before I slapped him, but every time I laid eyes on him, my anger came flooding back. And despite my feelings for him, I just couldn't get past the fury. It was pathetic and childish, but he was going to have to apologize to me before we could move on.