Chapter 2
Sam sat on her bed brushing through her long, wet auburn hair trying to numb her mind. She didn't want to think about anything, about life, about the phone call, and especially about him. Half of her mind didn't want to cooperate with her however, and it shot memories at her like sharp knives piercing her body, heart, and soul.
"Walk over there with me." He asked. His hand still holding mine. I was speechless and shocked, but happy. I allowed it. Why? If I had known what was going to happen, how this would change me I would have pulled my hand back violently and told him to never talk to me again…
No. I wouldn't have been able to do that. Ever.
If someone had told me everything that would have happen from that point to now I know I would still have let him hold my hand.
At the moment I was happy all over, inside and out. I was surrounded by friends and family and thinking about the Phantom.
If people stared at us, he didn't care. And him not caring made me not care. We stopped near the barn; we were still in the sight of our family and friends but out of earshot.
He looked uncomfortable. His mustang eyes showed he was deep in thought. Jake was never a man of many words, like every cowboy in the history of cowboys, so whatever he had to say was probably longer than he wanted.
"Thank you." He said. I guess it wasn't that long.
"For?" I answered.
He hesitated. He rubbed the back of his neck showing how uneasy he was.
"For everything." He finally said after a long pause.
"Huh." Was my brilliant response.
"For coming back. For giving me something…interesting to do. For staying alive." He tripped over his words. He then added a smile, clearly satisfied with himself. "And that last one was very hard with your bad luck…Brat." He added. Then he turned around and walked back to where the majority of people where, leaving me very much confused.
Sam couldn't help smiling at the memory. Even though it squeezed her lungs making it hard to breathe, this had been the nicest thing he had said to her. Even now it made her smile. She had stopped brushing her hair and was moving on to braiding it. Concentrating on that simple task harder than she concentrated on her math homework. She was desperately trying to keep that little drawer in the back of her head master locked and crazy glued. But the crazy glue had already begun to disappear.
"Brat?" his voice came from the entrance to the barn. It sounded annoyed because it was obvious that I had heard his "Sam's?" and "Brat are you here's" but had decided not to answer.
"Brat." He didn't say it as a question. He knew I was here.
"Go away." I replied trying to hide the tears in my voice unsuccessfully. I just wanted to be alone.
"Sam!?" his voice sounded scared and shocked. I didn't care.
One second he was in the entrance the next he was next to me.
"Sam, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice sounded different to me. I had never heard this tone come from him. I was curious, but not curios enough. Me and my bestest friend ever had just gotten in a HUGE fight. We had told each other unforgivable things. I don't think we would make up this time and that scared me.
I forgot he was even there. I was hurt. I was scared. I was mad. I was sad. I cried.
"Sam, please" he begged, "don't cry like that." His voice sounded so sweet and tender that I couldn't help but look up at him, tears staining my face. He saw me and did something I had never in a billion years thought he would do.
He hugged me. He hugged me and let me cry into his shoulders. For some reason this made me feel like a toddler who fell and scraped their knees and cried because it hurt, and then there mother gets them and hugs them telling them everything's okay. It made me cry harder.
Sam wanted to cry, like that day so long ago, but she knew this time he wouldn't come hold her while she cried. Already she could feel the treacherous tears forming in her eyes. They burned like acid and her eyes were begging to let them escape, but Sam had made a vow and she wasn't gonna break it. Of course Jen and she had made up, in large thanks to him.
She had finished braiding her hair and had moved on to putting on her pj's. The crazy glue had completely disappeared. And though the master lock didn't seem as iron strong as it had for the past three years, she was thankfully able to maintain it locked over her drawer.
Sam was successfully able to distract her from that one drawer in her mind. Her mind didn't like that and threw one of the most painful memories at her, like pouring rubbing alcohol and lime juice on a stab wound at the same time.
It was now or never; I told myself.
I was sitting in between Gram and Quinn Ely, one of the many Ely brothers, all of which where in attendance. It was his graduation. That September while I'd be starting my sophomore year in high school he'd be going off to college. I'd only see my best friend on long breaks and summer vacation.
The graduation had just finished and families were pouring into the football field to say their congratulations and take pictures. I was making my way onto the field when my Gram got my wrist firmly.
"We are gonna go to the Ely's ranch and start setting up for the graduation party." She wasn't asking me and there was no way I could weasel out of it.
I sighed and let her lead me.
We got to the Three Ponies Ranch and began setting up tables and chair and placing the food and cups and plates. Thirty minutes after we had arrived we saw a caravan of trucks and cars approaching. Of course every one of our neighbors had been invited as well as other friends.
The party had been going on for a while and though I had managed to hug and congratulate Jake he was always surrounded by so many people and I didn't have the guts to ask him if we could talk in private in front of so many people.
"Have you told him yet?" her best friends voice came from next to her.
"Believe me, Jen you'll be the first person to know when I did it" I answered her. She had asked the same question a billion times.
"Why haven't you?" she pushed, she wanted me to get it over with and NOT chicken out.
"There hasn't been a chance." I told her exasperated.
"A chance for what?" his voice came from behind me. I jumped. "Relax, it's just me Brat." He said chuckling, clearly amused at my reaction.
"Well you are scary looking." I teased, trying to hide the fact that I was so nervous. I saw Darrell was approaching our little group which meant, again, that there were just too many people.
"Well I'm gonna go get a soda, be right back" Jen announced giving me a look that read Do it now! She wasn't going to let me chicken out. If stares could kill, Jennifer Kenworthy would be dead. She laughed and hurried off, skillfully whisking the approaching Darrell with her.
We were alone, together. Finally.
"So how you liking the party?" I asked as nonchalant as I could manage.
"S'kay" he replied.
"It better be more than 'S'kay'" I mimicked him; "they turned me into a slave for this party to get put together." I told him in a fake-angry voice.
"In that case, it's horrible" he said, the smile in his voice betraying the words he had just spoken.
"You're horrible" I said laughing while I punched him.
"Ow!" he over exaggerated. There was no way in hell my punch hurt him, what with all that muscle covering his arm, and back, and stomach, and legs, and better stop myself before I start drooling. He laughed.
"Come on Brat, lets get back to this awesome party they slaved you for" he said standing up.
I was a chicken. So I stood up as well and walked with him back to the party.
If she wouldn't have been such a chicken maybe things would have been different and instead of heartache she would be feeling incredible bliss. Jen had called her a chicken that night as they slept on Sam's bed. She called herself a chicken that night when she looked in the mirror. That was one of the worst memories she had, though it seems safe, and even happy, Sam viewed that day as the day she chose wrong.
She hoped that her brain would cooperate with her; Sam's heart just couldn't take it anymore. She heard the phone ring downstairs and heard her dad's voice answer. She listened to his voice, though not really paying attention to what it said. It distracted her. She was falling asleep, when her dad said goodbye and hung up.
It took her brain three seconds to recuperate from the numbness her fathers voice had brought. With an angry fury it exploded the master lock that she had desperately tried to keep on her drawer in the back of her mind and threw the worst and most painful memory she had in this drawer.
"Jennifer I'll call you later, Im gonna go do it" I said with raw determination.
"You better!" She answered. "Or else I will!" she said with even more determination than I had and hung up the phone.
Before I had time to chicken out like last time I wrote a note saying where I'd be and headed out to the barn. I greeted all the horses. They helped calm my nerves.
I got Ace, mounted, and headed straight to Three Ponies Ranch.
Time was against me, Jake was leaving tomorrow and I wouldn't see him till Thanksgiving, or maybe Christmas, who knew.
I let Ace run freely, he enjoyed it and I was thankful for our speedy arrival to the Ely' ranch. I didn't even have to dismount because Quinn and Nate where outside.
"Hey guys, is....here" I asked.
"Hey Sam, no he went riding." Quinn answered.
"He was heading in the direction of the Deerpath ranch." Nate added.
"Thanks, see ya'll later" I said and turned Ace in the direction of the Deerpath ranch and urged him forward.
I wasn't even remotely close to being a good of a tracker that he was but his mare Witch left me some pretty easy prints to follow, almost as if she wanted me to complete my mission. So I did. At one point the one set of horse print met another set of horse prints.
"Who could he be riding with?" I spoke to Ace. We kept riding on and I tried following the hooves as best as I could. The tracks ended at the river. I grunted but dismounted Ace; might as well let him cool down and drink some water; he had behaved well the whole ride. As Ace was drinking water, I heard a familiar neigh coming from some feet down the river. I looked in the general direction and sure enough Witch was there, as well as another horse, both where rider-less.
I ground tied Ace and walked towards the other horses. As I got closer I began hearing voices. The closer I got the clearer they sounded.
"So why'd you bring me here" an unfamiliar voice said, too high and frilly to belong to a boy, let alone a man.
"Just, I had something that I'd been meaning to tell you." An extremely familiar voice answered. This voice belonged to Witch's owner.
"Well tell me?" the girl voice said in somewhat annoyed tone. I wanted to get closer but something wouldn't let me move. I was frozen in place.
"Well I kinda wanted to tell you this, before we left to college, together." He said. I could see his mustang eyes shining playfully, he was teasing lightly, prolonging whatever it was he wanted to say. He enjoyed seeing this girl annoyed. Kinda like he enjoys annoying me. My heart beated so fast and loud I was scared that they would be able to hear it. A cold sweat went through my body which was still paralyzed. He was leaving with this girl to college; they were going to be there together. Who was she?
"Can you please tell me?" she begged him her sweet voice turned seductive. My stomach fell to the floor, further down than the floor, it fell down to hell.
"Well," all teasing gone from his voice and uneasiness filling the void. I could picture him rubbing the back of his kneck.
"Come on, please" she almost purred. If I couldn't move from this spot on Earth, could Earth please open up and swallow me.
"Well…"he hesitated "uhm," he was nervous "I think…" he paused again.
"Oh just spit it out!" she practically yelled at him. A fury exploded thru me, I wanted to rip her head off. I couldn't move.
"Fine." He said with such determination that I could practically hear him thinking, Cowboy up!
"Well, I think…" he paused again. What could be so hard for him to say?
"I love you." He whispered to the stranger.
But to me it sounded louder than if he would have gotten a megaphone and shouted it to my ears. Those three words released me from the spell that had me captured there. I ran back to Ace, spooking all three horses. I calmed Ace down as fast as I could, mounted, and ran away.
I love you.
Those three little words replayed over and over in my head.
I love you.
Tears were falling hard and fast, but I tried to keep my focus on the path ahead.
I love you.
That was what I was going to say.
The drawer in the back of her mind exploded open. All these years she kept it tightly locked. He had come back before and this had never happen. Of course he only came back every June since he had left to college, and Sam had managed to keep herself extremely busy all through high school to avoid encountering him. She had taken acting classes so that when she did, for those few, rare moments she could act being happy and excited. She even emailed with him, of course it was rare but, it was easy to pretend through emails. She never asked about that girl, and he thankfully never offered any details. This June he came back for only a week and she had managed to see him once for about three seconds. Everyone thought it was strange that he stayed so long over there. Sam always assumed that it was because he was so happy with river lady that he didn't care anymore.
After that fateful day near the river she vowed to NEVER cry for him. Why should she cry over a guy who broke her fragile heart and didn't even know about it? Yet she didn't want to push her luck so she avoided saying his name at ALL costs.
Everyone around her noticed the change, but no one said anything. Not even her best friend, Jen.
Of all the times that Jen had called to inform he was back, why had this one cause the drawer in the back of her mind to explode open? Sam felt she knew the answer but was too afraid to even think of the possibility.
For the first time in three years tears escaped her eyes like a fast and furious waterfall. Though she made no noise, she was afraid that her family would be able to hear the sound of the few pieces of heart she had manage to salvage and tape together being ripped apart.
Oh, Jake! She thought his name for the first time in a long time.