Chapter Nineteen

"God, this is such a bad idea," Regina said, breathlessly, as she broke her lips away from Emma's neck momentarily.

They hadn't stayed at the restaurant much longer after Emma had admitted she wanted Regina to fuck her again, and once Regina had paid the babysitter and sent her on her way, like no time had passed at all, she had Emma pinned up against the wall in her front entryway, her hot mouth working her way from Emma's lips to her collarbone.

"Can you please stop saying that?" Emma pleaded, her voice strained with urgency. "You're killing the mood."

"Why do you have to be so goddamn irresistible?" Regina asked, as she found Emma's lips again while pushing her red leather jacket from her shoulders and down her arms, until it fell to the ground at her feet.

Emma chose not to answer, guessing it was likely rhetorical anyway, but she groaned her displeasure when Regina broke off their kiss to move her head back and look in her eyes.

"No one's ever had this kind of hold on me," Regina reminded her, yet again. "It's not fair."

Emma smirked. "Who gives a fuck about fair? Where's your bedroom?"

Regina raised an eyebrow. "We don't waste any time, do we, Miss Swan?"

"I've been waiting, what, nine years? It's about damn time."

"Agreed," Regina said, with a nod, taking Emma by the hand and pulling her toward the stairs. She stopped before taking the first step, and turned to look at Emma, seriously. "Please do keep in mind I have a child sleeping down the hall."

"I'll try to keep the screams of ecstasy to minimum," Emma said, with a cheeky grin, with earned her a glare from Regina. "Kidding. I'll be quiet."

Regina seemed to hesitate for a moment, before nodding and turning back to lead Emma up the stairs.

For her part, Emma gaped in awe of Regina's immaculate mansion. Over the years, she'd always imagined what Regina's house might look like, and it didn't disappoint. It was so completely her, and Emma couldn't get enough.

"Coming?"

"Hmm?" Emma asked, looking at Regina in surprise. She'd been too caught up to realize that Regina was now standing in the open doorway that led to her bedroom. "Oh, yeah."

Regina rolled her eyes and flicked on the light, leading Emma inside before closing the door tightly behind them, and locking it just in case. The last thing she needed was for Henry to get up in the night and accidentally find his mother in bed with his birthmother.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "This is-"

"If you say 'a bad idea' one more time, I swear..."

Regina raised a playful eyebrow. "What will you do, Miss Swan? I'm the one with the chains and whips, remember?"

"You said you were kidding about that," Emma reminded her, though at this point, she wasn't even sure what to believe, as far as that went.

"I guess you'll have to wait and see."

Regina slid her hands under Emma's white tank top, fingers gliding over the firm muscles of her toned stomach, as her lips found the blonde's again. She hated to admit, even to herself, how much she'd missed Emma, but touching her again now was enough to quiet the voice in her head telling her to stop before everything was ruined.

Maybe it wouldn't be ruined afterall?

Maybe Emma felt just as drawn to her as she did to Emma, and maybe she wouldn't turn on her once the curse was inevitably broken. Maybe she wouldn't even break it at all.

She heard Emma let out a low moan she she slid her hands up to cup the blonde's breasts under her tank top, before pulling the flimsy garment off of her and throwing it to the floor. She moved her mouth downward, sucking on Emma's pulse point as she unclasped her black bra and threw that away as well.

Something about remaining fully clothed as she stripped Emma down felt empowering, and Regina eagerly moved her way down to take one of Emma's nipples into her mouth as she unzipped her black skirt and pushed that to the floor as well. Emma had seemed to one-up her in every aspect since she'd arrived in Storybrooke, but here, in her own bedroom, Regina finally had Emma fully at her mercy again, and she was revelling in it.

She thought about how maybe she should have done this the moment Emma arrived, as she slid her hand into Emma's underwear, her fingers quickly finding their way to Emma's wet folds.

"How much did you miss me?" Regina breathed, huskily, as she moved her mouth near Emma's ear again, and pushed her back onto the bed in a sitting position, her fingers never losing contact with Emma's wetness.

Emma closed her eyes, her breath hitching as Regina's fingers began working her clit, in slow circles.

"Did you dream about me?" Regina asked, as she pushed Emma onto her back and climbed on top of her, speeding up the motion of her fingers as she placed a kiss on Emma's earlobe. "Did you think about me while you were fucking other girls?"

"Always," Emma admitted, her voice a raspy whisper.

"Always?"

Emma nodded. "I was always looking for you."

Regina narrowed her eyes and studied Emma's face as she effortlessly slipped two fingers inside of her, and began pumping as she massaged Emma's clit with her thumb. The blonde was completely lost in the feeling, her eyes closed and all the hardness fading from her features as she gasped and then relaxed, over and over.

She didn't have a clue what was really going on, Regina knew. She was just content to be there, with her, completely oblivious to all the other powers at play in their lives. But, try as she might, Regina couldn't lose herself in the feeling. It wasn't like Portland or Tallahassee or anywhere else in between where they were just two people, living separate lives, finding pleasure in each other.

Everything was different now and Emma didn't have the fainted idea. Even as Emma let out a shuddering moan as she climaxed, Regina still couldn't relax, and the agitation was clear on her face when Emma's eyes blinked back into focus.

"Sorry, was I too loud?" Emma asked, in a hushed voice, trying to guess what was causing the perplexed look on Regina's face.

Regina simply shook her head as she pulled her hand out of Emma's underwear. Emma whimpered at the sudden loss of contact, but Regina didn't seem to notice.

"Regina, you okay?" Emma asked, frowning as the other woman continued to stare at her with a distant look in her eyes.

"I'm fine," Regina snapped.

"Okay," Emma replied, nodding. She wasn't sure what was happening, but she was sure she knew how to make Regina feel better, regardless. "Well, then I guess it's your turn," she said, with a grin, as she reached her arms around Regina's back, to undo the zip on the back of her dress, as Regina still hovered above her.

Regina didn't protest, and even slipped her own arms out of the straps as Emma pushed the dress down, but there was still something a little off in her eyes.

"Regina, are you sure-"

"I'm fine!" Regina insisted again.

Emma swallowed, and nodded again. Regina seemed anything but fine, but at the same time, she'd never known the woman to not be in control in the bedroom. If Regina wanted to stop, she was sure she would have stopped by now.

"I, uh, I learned some new tricks," Emma said, waggling her eyebrows up at Regina, hoping to break whatever funk the woman was currently in.

To her relief, Regina offered her a small smile. "Really? Care to show me?"

Emma smiled in relief, and nodded, as she reached up for Regina's shoulder, to roll the other woman onto her back. In her experience, though Regina rarely liked to be touched, she'd found the shoulders to be a safe place, and Regina didn't protest.

Emma positioned herself above Regina, but as she leaned down to kiss the brunette's neck, she felt her stiffen beneath her.

"Regina?"

"Get off me! Emma, please."

Regina's voice sounded strained, almost panicked, and Emma quickly climbed off of her, and watched as Regina pulled herself up, drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging them tightly to her. The woman was visibly shaking.

"Regina," Emma said, gently, and thought twice about reaching out to touch her, no matter how reassuring she was trying to be.

"Just go. Emma, please, go," Regina said, with a shaky voice, not looking up.

"I'm not leaving you during a panic attack," Emma insisted.

"I'm not having a panic attack!" Regina snapped, finally looking up to meet Emma's eyes.

"Okay," Emma said, softly, crossing her arms across her chest as she suddenly felt very vulnerable herself in her nearly naked state. "Well, you're upset and I'm not sure what I did."

Regina turned her eyes up to the ceiling for a moment, before meeting Emma's again. Her hard look was replaced with a pleading one, and for a moment, Emma wished she could just read her mind and figure out what was happening. Regina was so closed off to begin with, and Emma wasn't really sure how to break through to her.

Trying to be her friend hadn't worked, a date hadn't worked, and now sleeping together again really hadn't worked, and Emma was at a loss for what to do. Part of her told her it was well past the time to cut her losses and walk away, but another, bigger, part of her insisted that right here, with Regina, was where she should be.

Everyone in Emma's life had left her when she needed them. She didn't want to be the person who did that to Regina.

"Just tell me what's going on," Emma said, finally. "We can't work past it, if I don't even know what it is."

"It's not you," Regina said, softly. "Well, it is. But it's not your fault."

Emma narrowed her eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Regina breathed a heavy sigh. Maybe there really was no way around this. Emma would find out eventually, and whatever would happen, would happen. Regina was sick of waiting around for the other shoe to drop.

"Henry… his book… Emma, it's all true."

Emma breathed in a sharp breath. Of all things she'd expected Regina to say right now, this did not even come close to making the list.

"What?"

"Emma, I'm sorry. I didn't know who you were when I first met you. If I had, I would never… it doesn't matter. This just can't happen, do you see that? You're the Savior and I'm the Evil Queen and-"

"No," Emma said, shaking her head vehemently.

"Emma, I'm-"

"No," Emma said again, more firmly this time. "Just stop talking. This is… ugh!"

Emma stood up from the bed, quickly finding her skirt on the ground and pulling it on, before tracking down her bra and tank top.

"Emma," Regina tried again.

"No, it's fine. You want me to leave? Fine. But don't talk to me like I'm a fucking idiot, giving me some bullshit story about fairy tales."

"Emma, that's not what I'm doing," Regina insisted, staring in disbelief as Emma yanked her tank top back on.

"No, really, it's my fault," Emma said, with a shrug. "You wanted me to leave, I kept coming after you. I had this coming. No one ever wants me to stick around, I'm used to it. But using your kid's deluded beliefs to push me away, that's low, even for you, Regina. Or should I say, your Majesty."

"Em-"

"No! Do you know he even tried to convince me I had parents who wanted me? Do you know how hard that is to listen to? And then you… God, Regina, you were the first person in my life I ever trusted. I should have known nothing had changed. In fact, you told me nothing had changed, but I was so wrapped up in you I didn't listen. I'm such a fucking idiot."

"You're not," Regina said, simply, though her voice had lost any strength it once had.

"No, I'm am. But don't worry. I'll get out of your life now, and the kid's life. I'll go back to Boston, tomorrow."

"You don't have to do that."

"No, I think I do," Emma said, nodding. "Don't lose any sleep over it, Regina. I know I won't."

Emma waited a moment, to see if Regina would say anything further, but the other woman just looked down and hugged her knees closer to her again. Emma shook her head and turned to leave. Every fibre of her being wanted to scream profanities and slam the door, but her common sense reminded her that there was, indeed, a child sleeping down the hall.

So she left quietly, grabbing her jacket on her way out the front door before heading out to her Bug. Once she was in the car, she finally let the tears start to fall.

She indulged in the tears for only a moment, before wiping her eyes and putting her Bug into drive, hoping that, at the very least, Mary Margaret wasn't up when she got home. She just wanted to pack up quietly and make a clean break, once and for all, just like Regina had told her to.

"God knows it's long overdue," Emma muttered to herself, though even as the words came out, she knew she was trying to convince herself that they were true.

She wasn't sure if she'd ever be free of Regina's hold on her, but she guessed she owed it to herself to try.