Chapter 10
Of course, as with all perfect moments, they never last long.
They walked into the house hand in hand and Brynna was already sitting in her place at the table and happen to see them holding hands before they let go. Brynna didn't call attention to it but she still gave them a knowing look. Gram hurried them to their seats and asked Sam to help serve the meals. Wyatt walked in a couple of seconds later and the family dinner began like always.
Jake and Sam tried to act as normal as they could, considering that many emotions and questions were flying through their minds. Wyatt and Gram where oblivious to what was going on between Jake and Sam, Brynna on the other hand was trying hard not to make it obvious that she was analyzing their every move.
"Sam can you come help me with Cody." Brynna said as soon as she noticed they were all almost done with dinner.
"Sure." Sam felt something fishy about this request so she was preparing mentally for any possible question Brynna might ask.
"Let's get going Codester." Sam said laughing while she picked up Cody and carried him like she used too. Though he was getting heavier Sam could still manage picking him up. Cody pretended to not like it.
"Put me down" he said while giggling. Sam and Cody disappeared into the living room and their voices became distant as they went upstairs. Gram and Brynna began picking up the dishes and Wyatt and Jake began going outside. Brynna stopped Wyatt and said something to him with just her eyes then proceeded to follow after Sam and Cody.
"Sam?" Brynna called up the stairs.
"We're in here." Sam yelled from her Dad and Brynnas' room.
"Boo!" Cody yelled from where he was 'hiding'.
"Oh!" Brynna played along and all three of them giggled.
"Samantha, is there anything you want to talk about?" Brynna asked not so smoothly.
"Uh. No. Not really." Sam said a little taken by surprise.
"Are you sure?" Brynna pried.
"Uh-huh" Sam answered not looking Brynna in the eye. She was getting an idea of where this was going, or meant to go to. Brynna let the conversation sit there, hoping that by giving Samantha time to think she'd want to open up by herself.
"Well," Sam started. Brynna's plan was working. "Never mind." Sam finished.
"Sam, you know you can talk to me about anything. I will always try to listen with an open mind." Brynna said slowly while she looked at Sam with caring, motherly eyes.
Sam almost broke down crying. No matter how much she had come to love Brynna, Sam wanted to be able to talk about all her girl teenage drama with her mom, her real mom.
Samantha didn't cry however, she smiled at Brynna and let Cody fall out of her grasp. Brynna cared about her and she knew it.
"I know. Thanks." Sam said sweetly. She hesitated because she didn't know where to start.
"Your welcome. Now do you have something you want to talk about?" Brynna tried again.
"Yes. Okay." Sam was getting nervous, aside from Jen she had never told anyone about her true feelings towards Jake.
"Sam its okay you don't have to be embarrassed." Brynna said a little amused at the pink tinge Sam's cheeks had acquired.
"Okay, I know. Uhm. Okay." Sam didn't know how to say it. "Okay." She said more determined. Brynna waited patiently.
"Well, I like Jake." Sam finally let it out smiling, even though her brain and her heart where confused about many things, that fact was not one of them. Brynna gave her a knowing glance but didn't say anything. They sat in silence for a while.
"I'm not that surprised." Brynna said with a smile.
"Huh? Why?" Sam said a little confused.
"It was pretty obvious. From a while back. Even before Jake left to college. Right?" Brynna said while making herself more comfortable.
"Yeah, something like that." Sam said a little distracted, "Was it really that obvious?" Sam finished a little embarrassed. Brynna chuckled and Sam's face flushed a little.
"Don't worry about it, you are a pretty good actress, but honey, as a woman, and as once a girl of your age, there are many things different about a woman that's in love, and that's been hurt." Brynna finished tenderly, showing wisdom that Sam never thought she had, at least in that subject. Sam always saw Brynna as one of the best horsewomen she knew; but when it came to subjects of the heart, Sam felt there was no one she was going to be able to talk to.
"Like what?" Sam said curiously.
"Well, the changes are so subtle that the person changing most times won't even notice them. A woman in love always has a subtle smile on her face, and it lingers even more in her eyes." Brynna started then began staring off into space. Sam listened intently. "They way she moves is more graceful, lighter, she feels as if the world weighs nothing, as if she weighs nothing. Laughter, good moods, and dressing up for no reason are common too," Brynna continued, chuckling. Sam smiled.
"A woman hurt is harder than a rock and colder than ice without even knowing. Their smile is empty, and it never shows in their eyes. They're like an empty shell, on the outside they are laughing, smiling, living; on the inside they're crying, breaking. They shake off anything that has to do with the one that hurt them for fear of opening still raw wounds." Brynna gave Sam a knowing look.
A heavy silence sat in between them.
"Jake hurt me." Sam said breaking the silence.
"I know," Brynna said. "You suddenly stopped saying his name, talking about him, talking to him."
"I know. I even took acting to learn to act like I was fine." Sam said softly, embarrassed.
"And now? I saw you holding hands?" Brynna said confused.
"I know." Samantha said half happy, half sad. "He made things a little better, sort of." Brynna waited for Sam to continue.
"Okay well long story short, before he went off to college I went looking for him one day to tell him that well, to tell him how I felt, and when I found him he was, he was with another girl, and I hid so they didn't see me but I could hear them." Sam took a deep breath. "And well he told her, he said, that he loved her, and well yea." She stopped and took deep breaths. You are not crying Samantha Anne!
Once calm she continued, "and well since then I tried forgetting him, didn't happen, still tried, then he came back. I was set on not falling for him again, and again that was an epic fail. And things where awkward until," Sam stopped again, she wasn't sure if she should tell Brynna about the towel incident. "Until, he called me to apologize for, for being a jerk, and then I don't know if it was me or him that continued the conversation but we stayed late talking on the phone, like teasing each other, basically flirting, and, and, he was talking!" Sam remembered how shocked she had been. "Jake Ely NEVER talks! And he was talking, he was flirting! I know he was because he basically told me I was beautiful," Sam smiled remembering the conversation. "And then today outside the barn he was the one trying to keep a conversation going, he was the talkative one! And he was the one that got my hand." Sam said confused and a little happy, but then she remembered what Jen had said "But, but what about that other girl!? Who was she, is she? Is she still important? What happened between them? Should I ask him? Should I wait for him to tell me? Should I care?" Sam finished exasperated.
Brynna processed what Sam had just said and Sam was thinking about everything again.
"Wow." Brynna started, "Well that was something." Brynna exhaled loudly, and then straightened up. "Well, in my opinion, he probably has similar feelings towards you." Sam smiled.
"But," Brynna cautioned, "I would find it in your best interest to ask him about this other girl, I mean it's clearly bothering you, and if you and him want to start a relationship then honesty and communication are very important."
"Yeah, I know." Sam said, she felt exhausted, not just physically but emotionally.
"Why don't you go take a nice hot bath and just think about everything, do what you know deep down is going to make you feel better." Brynna said while she moved towards Sam to hug her. Sam accepted the hug; a treacherous tear escaped her eyes. Before any more fell Sam pushed away.
"Don't cry Sam, everything happens for a reason and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Brynna said wiping her tear away and giving her another quick hug. "Now, go shower, you smell." Brynna said laughing; she was trying to lighten up the mood. It worked, Sam smiled.
"Okay." Sam said as she walked out of her dad and Brynna's room.
Sam sat in the nice hot water of her bath and relaxed. She let her muscles loosen up, she let the steam go inside her and warm her soul. Sam wanted to blank her mind of everything. She wanted to be in a place of nothingness, where nothing hurt her, where nothing could touch her.
Slowly, however, that utopia left her. The pain and the love came back to her in small doses, stabbing and healing at the same time.
"Damn you Jake!" Sam exclaimed.
"What I do?" a deep, surprised-sounding, voice said.