Chapter 17
Samantha woke up the next morning feeling dirty. She knew why.
She let herself get carried away by a…boy, man, whatever he was; she thought she'd never have.
After they left the barn that night, Samantha had been flushed, and as she spoke to Jen, Jake's mom, her Gram, her Dad, the realization of what she had done hit her.
She was embarrassed.
She woke up dreading having to see Jake. She took one of the longest showers imaginable, just standing there. Letting the water knead through her stiff back. Trying desperately to get that clean feeling back.
She was confused.
A part of her brain was screaming at her that what she had done was wrong, especially because he technically sort of had a girlfriend but not really. It was too much, too soon. Another part of her craved more from Jake, and that made her feel a whole ten shades of wrong.
She vowed to never do anything that extreme until they were married or least when they were an official couple.
She loved Jake, she did. And though it felt wrong, was wrong, at the same time she couldn't bring herself to completely look at the incident with pure bad disgust. If it was some random guy then Samantha would definitely be going crazy. Not that she would even consider doing stuff like that with anyone other than Jake.
But that simple fact that he loved her and she loved him just made it seem not all that disgraceful.
Love.
If anything was to ever happen between her and Jake it would be because they were openly together and very much in love, preferably married.
One problem. Didn't guys want that kind of stuff? Especially older guys?
"I'm pretty sure what- her- face is and he did some pretty…intense stuff." Sam spat out disgusted and more than a little jealous. How was she going to compete? She had already gave him a taste…could she go back on it? Would he let her? Or would he "convince" her otherwise?
"Samantha stop being stupid Jake's not like that!" Samantha reprimanded herself.
She needed to talk to him. But she was still embarrassed and didn't really want to.
There was a knock on the door.
"Yes?" Samantha screamed so that she could be heard over the rumble of the shower.
"Just checking of you hadn't turned into a mermaid?" Her gram's voice answered back.
"Still human gram." Sam answered rolling her eyes, but smiling nonetheless.
"Well hurry up because Jake is waiting downstairs." Gram told Samantha.
Samantha's heart fell to the bottomless pit of her stomach. She wasn't ready to face him.
Not yet.