Chapter 18
The day was beautiful. Samantha and Jake where trotting along watching the sunset, heading to who knows where, just enjoying the moment.
Or trying to.
Jake couldn't figure out what was wrong with Samantha. She kept being evasive and jumpy. She wouldn't even hug him hi. Silent Jake had been the one trying to keep the conversation going, but Sam wasn't giving him much to work with. Grunts weren't good conversation movers.
Did I do something wrong? He thought to himself.
Thirty more minutes of silence and Jake exploded.
"Samantha, for the last time, what is wrong?" Jake asked frustrated.
"Nothing." Samantha answered almost monotone.
"Oh really? Have you noticed we have been dead quiet for thirty minutes straight?" Jake asked now annoyed.
"Yes." Samantha answered still very distant.
"Samantha tell me what's wrong with you, or, or, ugh!" Jake finished by jumping of Witch's back startling the horses and Samantha.
Cowgirl up. Samantha told herself as she slid off Ace's back.
"Okay I'll tell you, but I am just a little embarrassed." Sam whispered.
"What? I can't hear what you're saying." Jake asked.
"I am a little embarrassed." Sam whispered again.
"What? Samantha seriously I can't…" Jake began.
"I AM A LITTLE EMBARASSED! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!" Sam cut him off.
Jake was taken aback. Sam could tell in his face he was hurt by how she talked to him.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't have yelled." Sam said in her normal tone as she sat down on the ground. Jake sat down next to her.
"What are you embarrassed about?" Jake asked in a very cold tone. He was still mad about being yelled at for no reason.
"What. What we um. What we um. Did. At the. Um. At the barn." Sam said with immense difficulty.
"Why?" Jake asked, again taken aback by her answer.
"Well because for starters you are still technically a taken man." Sam said a little annoyed and even more embarrassed that how she felt wasn't how Jake felt.
"But if you really analyze it, I am not." Jake countered.
"I had never done anything before. The most I had ever gotten to was a kiss, maybe holding hands. I let myself get carried away by the moment. That was way to fast." Sam was spluttering everything out.
"Samantha. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I mean we've known each other forever, we really like each other, and we didn't do anything wrong." Jake said holding her hand. "It's normal for people who like each other to do things like what we did in the barn." He finished by kissing her hand.
"I know but still, it was just way too much. I felt kind of nasty afterwards. And not because of you. Definitely not because of you. But just I feel we should wait. At least until we are an official couple." Sam said not looking at Jake.
"Samantha I want you to know that you should never be embarrassed to talk to me about anything. Especially when it has to do with something that makes you feel uncomfortable. I also want you to know that I would never push to do anything you didn't want to. I'd wait for you until the end of all time Samantha. But I also want you to know that when two people are in love and they both feel ready then there is nothing wrong with experimenting with physical love, as long as the emotional and spiritual part of love is solid first. And obviously we have a long way to go before we are even ready to consider doing that. Samantha I want you to feel comfortable around me, so please let's put this behind us and try to just let it go." Jake said everything as honest and heart-felt as he could, because that's where the speech came from, from his heart.
Samantha was quiet for a little bit. They were still holding hands and Jake started doing small circles on her hand. Samantha leaned into him as a silent approval and Jake put his other arm around her as a silent acceptance. They sat there for a while, watching the sun go down and their horses graze, enjoying the moment and each other.
"Jake. I love you." Samantha said kissing his hand.
"I love you too." Jake said kissing her forehead.