Wow, this story made it to over 100 followers now! Thank you so much, and now I'm looking forward to making it to 100 reviews, too. :-) That's amazing!

This chapter continues where the last one ended, so if you're uncomfortable reading about Tobias talking about his tough childhood, I suggest you skip the first part of this and start reading where the pov changes from Tris to Tobias.

I promise this chapter will end in a better mood than the last one!

Chapter 29

Tris

I remember what he said in the beginning: That he was afraid I could get angry at him. Why? He has spoken at least for half an hour now, with breaks of silence in between, but nothing, absolutely nothing, he said could have caused me to be angry at him.

I take both of his hands in mine and raise them to place small kisses along his knuckles. He closes his eyes at the touch of my lips, and I wait until he has composed himself. It takes a while, but I don't care that I have to wait.

"About a year ago, I found out about a big lie, a huge one that entirely changed my view on my life. I was contacted anonymously, and I was sure it was Marcus, so I went to the described meeting point early to hide there. I planned to check who wanted to see me in the middle of the night. But it wasn't Marcus who turned up. It was my mother."

"What?" I look at him with a mixture of plain shock and disbelief. "How is that possible?"

"I can tell you, that encounter was a heavy impact for me. I couldn't believe my eyes at first. It was like meeting a ghost. But it was her. I recognized her immediately. She had become older, but her features were still the same, and so was her voice. For years and years, I had wished so much for this to happen, to have her back in my life. But then I listened to her side of the story and I realized that she may have been my mother during the first years of my life, but she stopped being my mum when she turned her back at me and went away."

"What do you mean? What happened?"

I'm bewildered, to say the least. This is confusing. I've never heard of anything like this before.

Tobias snorts scornfully. "She explained it to me." Sarcasm emanates from his words. "She said she hadn't been able to live with Marcus any longer because of his cruelties, and that she hadn't seen a legal way out of their marriage. So she decided to become factionless, and to preserve Marcus' prestige within the faction they chose to fake her death. Can you imagine that? She left Abnegation behind to live a better life, and everyone helped to cover her lie. There must have been more people involved, because there was no body, no evidence of her death. And nobody — nobody — ever said a word to me about it. They let me believe that my mother was dead, and I never questioned it anymore after the funeral.

She left me with Marcus, all alone. And she knew him! She knew his personality and his violent outbursts! And despite that, she left me in his charge.

She tried to justify herself, told me she had been convinced he'd never turn on me and that she had thought I was safe with him regardless of what he did to her."

He shakes his head, clearly the memory of that conversation still vivid in his mind.

"That sounds unbelievable," I say, and I mean it.

How could she have done that? How can a loving mother leave her child behind with a tyrant? The answer that my mind throws at me is ugly and painful, and I'm sure Tobias must have come to the same conclusion.

"It is unbelievable. I think she never truly loved me, not enough to take me with her, or to care about what happened to me after her escape. She never checked on me. Never. And there would have been ways to do that, if she had wanted."

It hurts so much to hear all this, and I can't imagine what it must be like for him. I feel my temper rising at this woman who betrayed her own son so coldly.

"So how did this meeting end?" I ask, worried about his answer.

"I couldn't believe she thought she could get away with those lame excuses. I told her she didn't know me and had no right to get to know me ever again, that I didn't want her to be my mother anymore because my real mother, the mother I'd known, had died years ago. She tried to argue with me and started pleading me to give her another chance to make good for her fault. But I made it quite clear that would never happen. I took off my shirt to show her my back and let the scars speak for themselves. She was quiet after that."

I swallow the lump in my throat.

"So did you run into her yesterday?"

"Yes and no. I didn't exactly run into her. I went looking for her. She's the leader of the factionless."

"Really?! That's... but how?" I struggle to process all this information.

"She didn't let me leave after having seen my scars without telling me that she had become their leader, so I would know where to look for her if I ever wanted to contact her. I never met her again after that night by the train, not until yesterday, so I don't know how exactly she managed to get into this position. And frankly, I don't really care. Maybe it had to do with her name. She uses her maiden name, Johnson, these days, but I assume that sharing the name Eaton with our government leader was a way of getting her foot in the door."

"And what was it like to see her again? That's why you've been so sad last night, isn't it? Because you met her?"

"Yes. It's not difficult to figure that out once you know the background, I suppose. Well, it was strange, to begin with. She was surprised by my appearance, but she agreed to sit down with me in her office immediately. Yeah, don't look at me like that, I couldn't believe it either. She's got an office. Really, it's like a sixth faction out there. They keep their level of organization hidden, but it's impressive. They have their own storerooms where they stack important supplies and even a small medical unit.

Well, in any case, Evelyn listened to what I had to say, but it was obvious she had been hoping for something else from my visit. I was determined to keep our conversation objective while she was trying to turn it more private — unsuccessfully, though. In the end, she gave up and agreed to delay the weapon delivery if possible, and I'm sure she only complied because she hopes to improve her chances of reconciliation with me. She doesn't get that I give a fuck about her anymore."

I cringe at the strong language he uses. Usually he doesn't swear like that around me. But I can't reproach him for it.

We both fall silent, and at some point I can no longer stand this horrible mixture of tension, anger and deception in the room. The apartment seems too small for all those heavy emotions to swirl around, so I stand and get Tobias' shoes. I place them on the floor in front of him.

"Get them on, we're going for a walk."

"Now?"

"Yes, now."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Not far, don't worry. I thought the roof, maybe, to catch some fresh air."

His doubtful expression turns milder and the frown leaves his face as he starts to put on his shoes. I go over to the hall to put on mine. I slip into my jacket before I take Tobias' and throw it into his lap. He takes the hand I offer him to pull him up, and I resist the urge to take him into my arms just yet. I'm afraid all those emotions would crash down over us like a huge wave.

Instead, I pull him along with me through the hallways. I'm pretty good by now when it comes to avoiding cameras.

Tobias

The first breath I take outside tastes of freedom and expanse and unravels the tension in my chest, and I'm finally able to breathe deeply again. And that's all I do for some moments, with Tris standing next to me with her hand on my back.

"Thank you for bringing me up here," I whisper through the darkness.

"Come, sit down with me," she whispers back and walks me over to one of the chimneys that is surrounded by a kind of stair. We sit down and I'm surprised when Tris wraps my quilt around us.

"If this quilt didn't belong to me, I'd say you just conjured it up out of thin air," I chuckle softly and kiss her cheek.

It's such a relief to be outside. The cool night air slows down the constant stream of memories I want to forget. Here on the roof they have enough open space to vanish.

Tris smiles and nuzzles closer to me. "Well, I'm Divergent, maybe the rumors are true and I'm some kind of witch with magical powers!"

"As far as I know it could be true. I'm the living proof," I joke.

"You are?"

"Yeah, I'm sitting here with you, joking, when half an hour ago I felt like crying, so you must have practiced witchcraft on me."

Our eyes meet and I feel so many emotions flying between us that it's almost too much for my heart to bear. I look into her eyes, sparkling in the milky moonlight, and I can't hold back any longer.

"Tris," I begin, raising one hand out from under the quilt to place it on her cheek, the other one holding her close to my side. "You've cast a spell on me weeks ago, and it took me some time to realize, and when I did, I showed you my fear landscape and you didn't run from the person I truly am. You take me the way I am and I don't have to hide from you and after tonight, there is nothing left to hide. I... I trust you with all my heart, Tris. I love you."

Her eyes light up and widen just a tiny bit before she rests her forehead against mine. My heart somersaults as her lips touch mine with a gentleness I've never known before. It's the slowest kiss we've ever shared, but at the same time one of the most intimate.

As I let her take the lead, I get to notice all the small signals that she's guiding me with: Her fingertips that graze over the back of my hand, the air she exhales into my mouth as she opens my lips to hers with tender pressure, her tongue sensually playing with mine, the pull on my hair that makes me moan, her leg shifting towards me until her knee touches mine.

She ends the kiss with the same gentleness that she started it with, and the sensation of her touch still lingers on my lips after she took hers away. I lay my forehead against hers and place a hand on her chest to feel her beating heart. It's noticeably quick.

"Tobias, I..."

"Shh, stop." I put my index finger down on her mouth to stop her from speaking. "Don't say it. Not tonight."

"But I...," she protests.

"No, Tris. Let me explain. This was my moment to say it. You will find your own. I want to hear those words from you, so much. Believe me, I do. But I don't want them to be just a response to mine."

"They wouldn't be just a response," she whispers, slightly shaking her head. "But okay, you know I'm thinking them right now anyway, don't you?"

"I know. That you're here with me is words enough."

We sit in comfortable silence for a while, cuddled against each other under the quilt, gazing at the moon and the stars that are occasionally hidden behind passing clouds. The city surrounding us is dark and peacefully quiet. I get why Tris came here to think one night last week and why she thought it was a good idea to take me here. All the fights and fears that belong to Dauntless seem smaller from above.

When she speaks again, I don't miss the trace of faint humor in her tone.

"You can't stop me if I want to say something just to myself."

I smile at the playful threat in her voice.

"No, I guess I can't. Or, I could protest, but you wouldn't listen anyway, would you?"

I can't stop her from saying or doing anything she wants. She doesn't fully realize it yet, maybe, how strong she is.

Tris shakes her head again, smiling, and then she turns her face away from mine to gaze up into the indigo sky. She makes it a point to show me she directs her next words rather at the moon than at me.

"When I transferred here, I started to fall in love with a boy named Four. But then I got to know Tobias, and now he's the one I truly love."

DISCLAIMER: I own neither the Divergent world nor the characters, they belong to Veronica Roth.