Chapter 9: It's okay to be a jerk

Author's note: Happy 4th of July! This is the longest chapter yet! Review!

"It could be Stephanie, I saw her walk in the janitor's closet yesterday afternoon," Whispered Lysandra.

Aelin had recited what happened with Ianthe yesterday and Lysandra, being the caring friend that she is, decided to take it into her own agenda to watch out for the betrayer. They both knew Ianthe wasn't smart enough to outwit Aelin, but if she had a partner…

"It could be Rowan, with all of his recent shenanigans." Lysandra proposed.

Aelin knew that he was acting differently but some childish part of her couldn't take in the idea.

"I mean you told him a lot of your secrets," Pried Lysandra.

"NOPE. I refuse to believe it. Rowan couldn't do that to me," Aelin crossed her arms over her chest. Subtly saying she wasn't backing down.

Lysandra huffed but rested her case.

Aelin scribbled her notes on her paper. It was a race between her pen and the clock's red hand. She refused to let anything distract her. It was her own fault since daydreaming about slapping Ianthe wouldn't get her notes on the paper.

At last, the bell jarred her awake. She looked up to find Chaol smiling down at her. She couldn't help but smile back.

"Tough lesson?" Chaol smirked.

"As if," Aelin smirked back.

"Daydreaming about me?"

"More like daydreaming about slapping Ianthe"

"Ah, so that's why you were looking at her like you wanted to decapitate her."

"Why? Don't you feel like slapping her at times."

"Oh, I do. But my mind is occupied with much more important things."

"Yeah, like what?"

Satisfaction filled Chaol's eyes like she'd said something he'd been waiting for, "My mind is too occupied with thoughts of you."

Heat rose to Aelin's cheeks. Well, she fell right into that one. Nevertheless, Aelin smirked back, tugged on Chaol's collar, and kissed him hard and definite. A feminine part of her missed being held by a male. She missed a good flirt.

Aelin abruptly pulled away and winked at Chaol. He was wide-eyed and speechless.

Although he was quite cute, he wasn't her equal. Not like Rowan was. Her thoughts were constantly dragged back to Rowan.

It wasn't fair. Why shouldn't she be able to enjoy herself? After all, it was Rowan's fault for being a jerk.

Aelin shook her head and pulled Chaol to her once more.

By lunchtime, everyone knew about Aelin and Chaol's makeout session in class.

Chaol gave her a knowing glance and she couldn't help but do the same. She wasn't happy, but she wasn't disappointed either. She felt better than she had in awhile.

After she'd left the classroom Aelin found Rowan with his hood up. His head was against his locker. His arms above it. But what broke her heart was that she saw the whites in his eyes blurred with red and lined with silver.

Aelin quickly looked away walked away. A sinking feeling burdened her chest. She could love whoever she wanted. Right?

She was pulled back from her memory by Lysandra. "So… tell me how it went."

"How what went?" Aelin asked.

"You know, kissing Chaol."

Aelin smiled and spilled all of the details. In the end, they were both squealing. God, she needed some more girl time.

A redheaded girl came up to them with a box mysteriously wrapped in paper.

"What's that?" Inquired Aelin.

"That girl over there told me to give them to you," She pointed someplace, but Aelin couldn't understand who exactly she was pointing at.

She shrugged it off, took the box, and with a string of courtesy from Aelin, the girl walked away.

Lysandra peered over her shoulder as Aelin unwrapped it. Aelin's eyes widened as did her mouth. It was a box of chocolate. Her mouth watered. Screw healthy eating. Come to mommy, truffles.

Aelin discarded her lunch and popped chocolate after chocolate in her mouth. She couldn't get enough.

Not until her world tilted. This wasn't a normal high. This was much more. She had to grip the table and she felt bile rise in her throat. In the corner of her eye, she saw Ianthe smirking. She mouthed, POISON.

It all caught up with her. She's the one who bought the chocolate. She must have tinkered with it.

That jerk.

As if the forming crowd wasn't enough to embarrass her, she threw up.

Oh god.

She was a hot mess in front of everyone. Somewhere in her mind, she recognized people were laughing at her. Pointing fingers. She was the helpless one for spectators to laugh at.

She couldn't bring herself to get up so she looked at Chaol with begging eyes, hoping for salvation. What she saw in his eyes broke her heart.

There was disgust, pure disgust in his eyes. As if she had just been caught eating from the trash. His eyes spoke volumes of dislike. And he didn't say anything as he spun around from her helpless self and walked away.

The last thing she could remember was the cold cackle of the crowd and strong arms sweeping her away.

Aelin opened her eyes to find her in Rowan's room. Again.

Her in need. And Rowan healing her when no one else would. She couldn't understand why she ever wanted Chaol. Who needed a lover when you had a Rowan?

"You can thank me for my awesomeness anytime you like," She found Rowan lounging on a rocking chair. A roaring fire was blazing in the fireplace.

Aelin groaned. Her whole body was sore as if someone had made her climb through 10 thorn bushes. She knew she wouldn't do anything productive for the rest of the week.

Rowan seemed to notice her pain because there he was. His strong, graceful body set a mug in her hands, pulled the covers over her a bit more and sat on the bed right next to her.

There was so much to say. So much to resolve. It was just them, why not do it now?

Rowan sighed as if he were thinking the same. "Now you're probably mad at me right now, but let me explain. I was in a bad mood the day I wrote that stupid article. And you were right, I was a monster for not having any hesitation. My mind was somewhere else.

The truth is, one of my friends who suffered through Maeve's torture with me started to become like her. His name was Lorcan. The only reason he had stayed good was that of a girl named Elide. Cliche, right? But she betrayed him. And he changed. I visited him to calm him down, but he wouldn't budge. And so I wrote that stupid article to release my rage and despair. I wasn't thinking and I shouldn't have dragged you into this mess.

If that wasn't enough I had embarrassed you in front of everyone. I just wanted to be selfish and arrogant for one day. I just wanted to be held. Even if it was by some whore,"

Aelin knew what he was talking about. She'd done the same thing to Chaol. She just wanted to be worshiped. That sounded evil. But nevertheless, she couldn't hold Rowan responsible when she'd done the same thing.

"That spaghetti incident brought me back from my slump. Your personality is refreshing," Rowan gave Aelin a sad smile, "I know you probably won't forgive me and I don't need your pity, but I'm sorry. And that's all I can really say."

Aelin couldn't blame Rowan. She would've done the same thing if a friend went crazy. It was funny and somewhat creepy how alike they were. She would forgive him. Because at times of despair and regret, that's all we can really do.

So she smirked, "I didn't expect so much emotion from an 'emotionless bastard'. Do you want me to clap at such great speech?"

A flicker of worry flashed in Rowan's eyes.

But Aelin continued, "Because I can do much more."

At that Rowan smiled and enveloped Aelin in a bone-crushing hug. And she hugged him back.

"It's okay to be a jerk, Rowan"

And a prayer of salvation escaped Rowan's lips,"Aelin."

Aelin didn't need to hide around him. She was herself. She was at peace. Yet again, who needs a lover when you have a Rowan?

Watch out your fire breathing queen and her buzzard are back.

Author's note: Soooooooo… things are patched up. Now that Rowaelin is clear, it'll be mostly about the plot. I think there will be one or two more emotional scenes.

Rowan (my sweet baby hawk) will be there a lot of the time.

Review!