Surprise! We're Alive

Castiel sat in the hotel with Sam and Dean. They had been following a lead on some very strange deaths in Chicago. The angel had volunteered to help out since he had nothing better to do. Plus, he preferred spending his free time with the brothers. It was better than sitting around in Heaven. Even though everything was back together up there the angel still couldn't bring himself to go back. He was too afraid of what he would see.

"Guys, look at this," Sammy gasped, eyes going wide. Dean and Castiel looked over Sam's shoulder at the computer screen. "Witnesses say that a giant monkey climbed to the top of the building with the late Mr. Sanders and dropped him from several hundred feet. Get this though. Candy wrappers were found around the victim's body," Sam turned his gaze to the two standing behind him. "Sound familiar?" Castiel stepped backwards, shaking his head.

"It's impossible, he's…"

"Sorry to disappoint, little brother," Gabriel stated, appearing on the bed. He was not alone though. Next to him sat none other than Balthazar. Cas' eyes went wide and he stepped back until he had cornered himself into the wall. Balthazar smiled at his brother.

"Surprise! We're Alive!" He shouted. Castiel gritted his teeth together, whipping out his angel blade and flinging himself at Balthazar and Gabriel. The angels didn't move, allowing the angel to point the blade down on them.

"How?"

"We faked our deaths, little brother," Gabriel stated, smiling up at his youngest brother.

"It's not like it's the first," Balthazar added, smiling as well. Something shattered in Castiel's eyes and the angel pushed himself off of his brothers, eyes slit. Balthazar and Gabriel sat back up, watching as Castiel tossed his blade to the floor.

"I'll see you both later," Castiel stated to the Winchesters before zapping out of the hotel. Gabriel and Balthazar both began to get out of the beds, but Dean pushed them both back down.

"What the hell?!" he shouted at the two angels. The angels frowned; swatting away Dean's hands and pushing themselves back off the couch. "We thought you were dead!"

"Yes, we realized that," Balthazar stated, snapping his fingers and making a glass of whiskey appear in his hands. Dean balled his hands up into fists as he glared at the two. Steam was practically blowing out of his ears.

"The world was going to hell. Your fucking little brother needed you guys and you fucking left him!" Gabriel opened his mouth to counter Dean's claims, but Dean got up into his face, poking a harsh finger into the archangel's chest. "He died, went crazy, and did things that he'll never forgive himself for. You're his brothers damn it! You could have helped him!" Dean's eyes were practically blazing now. "You could have gotten through to him…"

"Through to him?" Balthazar shouted in outrage, pushing Dean away from Gabe and screaming into the hunter's face. "Don't you think I tried? I confronted him and he stabbed me in the back. Literally!"

"That's what little brothers do," Dean spat, pushing Balthazar out of his face. "They drive you crazy, do things they shouldn't, hurt you in ways that seem unforgettable, but they are your family! It's your job to pick them back up. You don't just fucking abandon them." Gabe stepped up so he was standing next to Balthazar.

"You're one to talk," Gabe hissed. Dean's eyes narrowed and so did Sam's. They knew what was coming. "Where were you two when he needed help? After all, you two are his new family."

"We were there. God knows we were shit listeners, but we were there to pick him up in the end. What were you two doing?" Gabriel reached for his blade, but Sam grabbed Castiel's from the floor and pointed it at the angel's chin.

"You two should leave," Sam hissed. Gabe refused to move his blade from Dean. The two stared down at each other, hate filled words passing between their gazes. Balthazar squeezed his brother's shoulder, breaking Gabe from Dean's icy stare and the archangel released the human. Dean dusted off his coat and the angels zapped themselves outside the hotel in the parking lot.

"That fucking bastard!" Gabe screamed, kicking a car tire right off a grey mustang. "Who is he to say that stuff to us? How many times did he hurt Cas and Sam?"

"Gabe…" Gabriel ignored his brother, continuing to scream and kick. "Gabe. Gabriel!" The archangel stopped in his tracks and followed his brother's gaze to the trench coated angel in the parking lot, sitting on the hood of the Impala. The two made a step to address their brother, but the hotel door flew open and Dean came storming out with Sam at his side. Both looked extremely pissed off and were heading right for Castiel. When they were in arms reach Castiel looked up at the two. Balthazar and Gabriel sucked in a breath, waiting for a shouting match to begin, but it didn't. Sam pulled Cas off the Impala and smothered the angel into an awkward embrace. Both Gabe's and Balthazar's mouths dropped and they watched as the hunter pulled away only to be replaced by Dean of all people. The angel's stretched out their hearing, listening in to their conversation.

"…forgive them, Cas," Sam was saying when they finally got the correct frequency. Castiel shook his head, looking just as emotionless as ever.

"Why? They'll just leave again anyway," Cas grumbled. Dean continued to remain silent between the exchange, watching his brother and the angel closely. "You both are the only ones that ever treated me like a brother." Both Balthazar and Gabriel shared a look. That wasn't true.

"That's not true, Cas, and you know it," Dean stated at last. Yeah, what he said. "Sure they left you, but they came back like any other brother would." Cas just looked at his shoes. "Come on, Cas. They're a bunch of douches, but remember all those times you…you hated yourself for what happened with your brothers? You can forgive yourself now, Cas. Balthazar and Gabriel live and everything is al…"

"NO!" Cas shouted, wings casting dark shadows across the parking lot as lighting zapped above. Even a few lights on the nearby cars burst. "It…It'll never be ok. Their blood is forever on my hands. If I could dream I would forever see wings burning into the ground. I grieved both Balthazar and Gabriel's deaths more times than I can count and now they're just…back? No. I can't go through this cycle again. They'll leave me just like before and I…I…c…can't do that again. I can't take in much more guilt." Dean grabbed the angel by his shoulders.

"You don't have to, Cas, because you've got me and Sammy now. Team Free Will remember? We've got your back." Cas forced a smile and Dean began to usher Cas into the Impala. "Let's get out of here. This case was a bust anyways." Gabriel and Balthazar watched the Impala disappear before turning to each other.

"He blames himself," Balthazar stated, giving Gabe a worried look. "What do we do?" Gabe sighed.

"We do what we should have," Gabe sighed. "Be there."

"Hey!" Gabe and Balthazar jumped out of their thoughts and stared at their little brother. They were outside, sitting in the grass while Dean mowed the long and threw the chopped blades of grass at them. "You two day dreaming again?" The two older angels nodded and Cas rolled his eyes at them before diving into a big pile of cut grass that he had started to pile up. Balthazar and Gabriel watched their baby brother pop his head out of the pile of grass, hair spiked green now from the chopped blades.

"This is starting to get annoying," Balthazar grumbled, rubbing his temple. "Why do those memories keep flashing back?" Gabriel shook his head. Personally, he didn't want to know. Hopefully it was nothing. Hopefully the dreams were just side effects from certain happenings, but why would they start now? Why not sooner?

First Nightmares and now day dreams. Hmmm…what could it all mean? ;)