Thank you for making it over a hundred reviews now! There's been so many new followers and favorites, too. I know you're all waiting for new chapters, so here is one. Next one follows in about a week.

Please note that I wrote this and the upcoming chapters on a small mobile device while travelling. I edited each chapter as good as I can, but honestly I'm not a fan of working on a small screen. I'll go over the chapters again once I'm back home.

Chapter 31

Tobias

"Important? Now, that's interesting. I thought it was just an idea for an experiment? Well, let me set this straight: I'm convinced there's more to this idea than what you've told me so far. I can see it in the way you behave. You're nervous, although you're trying to cover it. You're not here to speak for Dauntless as a faction. You seem to have your own agenda, and I think your colleagues don't know why exactly you're here."

Oh. I thought I'd do a better job hiding my intentions and playing the average Dauntless member. Johanna must notice that I'm struggling with her analysis of the situation.

"You may not know, but I was born Candor. I'm very aware of body language and reading subtle signs from someone's voice and words is easy for me."

That's in fact new to me. I didn't know her faction of origin was any other than Amity, but probably even with that information I would not have been able to hide my true emotions well enough. What can I do now? The only chance I have is to be as honest with her as I can be. Would the others support that strategy? Would Tris approve of it? She doesn't have as many problems when it comes to trusting people as I have. She'd open up to Johanna without giving her too many details, using her brain and trusting her instincts, like she did with Caleb. I should follow her example and take a leap of faith. Johanna at least speaks for a faction that strives for peace.

"Okay, Johanna, I have to admit you're right with your observations. There's more behind that idea."

"That much is obvious. So would you like to share your information with me? I want to know what this really is about before I hand out our serum to the warrior faction, otherwise my answer to your request is no. It's up to you."

I expected this answer. I think of Tris, think of the trust she's able to put in her friends and family, and especially in me. I don't want to let her down, and I don't want to let my friends down either. I take a deep breath and another swig of juice before I start talking.

"There are people and events that currently threaten the peace within our city. Two factions, or rather their leaders, are planning an attack against another one to gain more power and establish a new government. I'm part of a group of friends who are trying to prevent serious fighting and unnecessary deaths, and we have come up with a plan, but if we want to have at least a chance to convert it to action, we need some peace serum."

I sigh. Now that the words are out, there's no taking them back. I start to panic for a moment when I realize what I've just told Johanna. Now our fate is in her hands.

"Don't get nervous about having said too much. It's okay, I consider this conversation confidential."

I blow out air that I wasn't aware of holding.

"So, if I understood this correctly, Dauntless and Erudite leaderships are planning to start a war against Abnegation, and they even hazard the consequence of killing people, or maybe even plan to take lives. And you've put together a team to stop them and you need peace serum to continue with your activities."

I'm taken aback by the summary that proves how her sharp mind has put all the pieces together. I can't back out anymore, the only way out of this and to get what I want is to go through. I nod.

"That's correct."

"Well, I need to think about this for a while. It would usually be an issue to discuss in a faction meeting, but I understand why that's not possible at the moment, as it would put you and your allies in danger, and we'd risk our neutrality."

"Your neutrality?"

Really, this is what she's thinking about in this situation?

"It's part of our faction's tradition not to get involved in any conflicts, no matter what they are about. I see how this might be difficult to grasp for a Dauntless soldier, but let me reassure you that it's perfectly reasonable for any Amity member. I suggest you go out to help your colleagues with their work in the fields while I take a walk and think about what you've told me. Then we'll meet again in an hour and I'll tell you my decision."

Do I have any other choice?

"Okay, I accept your offer."

XXX

I go looking for the other Dauntless at the field that they're supposed to be searching, but I can't find them there. They've probably moved on to another part of Amity. Given that I don't have much time until I'm going to meet Johanna again, I start searching the area myself. There's nobody around, but nonetheless, I take in my surroundings with heightened concentration. If there are factionless around, I need to be careful.

But in the end, there's nothing unusual going on. I check the time and decide to go back. I pass the trailer that the tools and crops were stolen from and take a moment to examine it. I don't find any traces of the robbery, although Johanna told me the Amity left it the way they found it after the supposed robbery. Maybe the other Dauntless found something.

I kneel down to tie my shoelaces again, as they're loose. Obviously, I haven't tied them properly when I left my apartment in a hurry this morning with Eric.

The moment I look up again, I spot something lying in the grass under the trailer. I extend my hand to grab it. It's a mobile device in Dauntless black, a small communicator. It's turned off and won't spring to life no matter how hard I push the button that should turn it on. I turn it around in my hands. Only few members of Dauntless get to use one of these permanently, mostly leadership staff and leading officers by the fence, and sometimes ordinary members when they attend a special mission that requires having one. But we don't usually get to keep them afterwards. I wonder who this one belongs to. Hopefully I'll be able to find that out when I recharge it. I store it safely in the inner pocket of my pants, not wanting any of my fellow companions to know about it.

When I'm back to Johanna's office, she's already waiting for me. We sit down again together and I wish I wasn't so tense.

"So, have you come to a decision yet?"

"Getting straight back to business, aren't you?" she smiles at me, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I apologize, "but I'm anxious about your decision."

"That's understandable. So here is what I can offer you: I'll provide you with enough serum to calm your initiates during the next three days, but you have to give it to them secretly. They're not supposed to know about it. You can tell them you're giving them something to help them rest better, but you're forbidden to give away that it's actually peace serum. Then you won't have to lie to your leaders, and I'll give you some extra doses that you can use for your own purpose."

"That is an offer I can accept. Thank you for your help."

"I don't want our factions to end up fighting each other, but I'm bound to the Amity manifesto. Normally, I can't make a decision like this without consulting our members, but I understand why it is necessary in this case."

"It means a lot to me and to the others trying to prevent the war."

"We'll have to meet again. There are food trucks going to Abnegation tomorrow, and I'll accompany them because I have a meeting with Mister Eaton. You should come to the fence, so I can pass the serum on to you before the Dauntless soldiers by the gate start checking our load."

I try to keep my face straight at the mention of my father's name and quickly agree with her. I'm dismissed from her office and decide to help the Amity load our trucks with supplies instead of looking for Jed and the other Dauntless.

Tris

It's been a long day and I'm thankful for the hot shower after the hard training with Eric. He was in a pretty bad mood today and had us run extra laps and do additional weight lifting. My neck and shoulders hurt from the exertion and the water helps with my muscle's tension.

I finally turn off the shower with a sigh and grab a towel from the rack. When I step out of my bathroom five minutes later, still dressed in nothing but my towel, I'm surprised to find Tobias waiting for me. I'm happy to see him, to hear how things went at Amity, but still l hesitate to go over to him and take him into my arms. I feel silly for feeling exposed after what he told me last night. He seems to notice my hesitation and just comes over to me silently to pull me into his embrace.

"So how was Amity?" I want to know.

"Good. So how was your sim? Did Lauren see anything she shouldn't?"

His tone is tense, difficult for me to read.

"No, I... no, she didn't."

"Good. That's good. So now we have the night to ourselves," he says suggestively. "Let's start by taking off that towel."

He tugs at the corner of the fabric that holds the towel up around my chest. Shit, I'm in a sim. Oh no. Lauren is watching this on her monitor.

"No, Four, stop it," I shout at him and slap away his hand rather roughly, angry at him for still showing up like this in my fears, and angry at me for allowing him, unconsciously, to be here.

"Oh Tris, I thought we had this solved. There are only three days left for you to sleep with me, or you'll fail your final test."

I stare at him and try not to let his words get to me. They're just a projection of my fears, it's not him speaking.

"So if you don't want to end up factionless, I suggest you drop that towel and let me see you. You have a beautiful body, Tris."

I have to act quickly, before my mind will involuntarily give away even more to Lauren.

"I want you, Tris, please let me touch you."

I push him away with both hands on his chest.

"No Four, I said stop!" My voice is radiating somewhere between angry, ashamed and desperate. "I don't want you to touch me," I add, so Lauren hopefully won't get the idea of us being together.

Sure, it would have been too easy if this had ended the simulation already. Luckily, Tobias doesn't fight back. I'm actually relieved because it would have hurt me if my mind had pictured him like that, even if he never knew about it.

Now Tobias starts to undress after a short pause.

"I get that you won't let me touch you tonight, but you could touch me. And you should do it right," he says as he takes my hands and places them on his hips before he starts moving them to his midsection.

I have to end the sim quickly, but like a Dauntless, before Lauren sees even more than she already has. That means I'll have to fight Tobias off, verbally or physically, or both.

"Stop it, take your hands away! I said no, and I mean it."

I know my words sound harsher than I would say them in reality, but I can't risk Lauren becoming suspicious. She probably already is while she's watching this scene.

"You know if you don't change your mind until Saturday, you'll fail initiation."

The rationality of his tone is disturbing. But here I see my way out.

"Then I'll risk becoming factionless."

And then I'm back in the sim room with Lauren, who looks at me in the orange light with a shocked expression. I don't dare to say anything.

Her voice is softer than I expected when she asks me if there was anything I'd like to tell her — in private. I shake my head. I wish I knew what she's thinking.

"Can you tell me what this fear was about?"

I hesitate. "Intimacy. I'm afraid of touching as a result of growing up in Abnegation."

"I see."

She looks through my files and I bite my lip. She's probably searching for an entry that covers the same fear. I know she won't find one.

"Judging from the way you react, I assume it's not a new fear for you. So why can't I find it in your files?"

Her voice is still soft and surprisingly free of accusation.

"I don't know. Maybe because Four wanted to keep this one private for my sake?"

Lauren looks at me skeptically. "Or for his sake. Why is it him in these simulations?"

"I have a theory about this. I've learned that most of the simulations show a fear that represents another, deeper one. Most of my fears in the simulations have the same motive, the loss of control."

So far, it's not a lie. I'm not used to lying, but I find it easier if I prop my lies up on my truths.

"Intimacy is a big deal in Abnegation, and it's a huge taboo. People never talk about it, and it's not allowed to... become intimate until you're married. I guess that all the public affection and openness about relationships here in Dauntless have brought this fear to the surface. I think Four is just in there as a placeholder for any random man. It's just that I don't have many male friends, and here it's the first time I'm actually interacting freely with men at all. And as my instructor, he knows me well, my strengths and weaknesses and fears. So maybe that's why he's in this sim."

"But why is he threatening you?"

"Oh, that's how my mind deals with the feeling of pressure. It symbolizes how I'm afraid that I won't learn quickly enough how to fit into Dauntless."

Lauren slowly nods her head, but she doesn't seem completely convinced. I get out of my chair to leave the room before she can interrogate me further.

"Tris," she calls me back the moment I place my hand on the handle. "Please don't hesitate to come to me if there's anything you need to talk about that you can't share with Four. I know I'm not responsible for the transfers, but I understand that there might be things you'd rather want to talk about with a girl."

"Thank you," I say. It's really nice of her to offer me her time and advice. Maybe I'd even consider it if the circumstances were different.

DISCLAIMER: I own neither the Divergent world nor the characters, they belong to Veronica Roth.