Owen had been almost excited about the therapy session until they sat in silence for ten minutes. The doctor watched them, waiting for them to talk. Wasn't she supposed to be asking questions?
"This is ridiculous," Owen said. He stood from his spot on the couch and marched for the door. "We should be out there finding our daughter, not waiting for some crackpot to tell us what we already know."
"Owen!" Claire gasped. To Dr. Anderson, she said, "I'm so sorry."
Dr. Anderson shrugged. "I've been called far worse. Why don't you sit back down, Owen. We still have almost an hour left together."
He laughed bitterly. "I'm not going to sit here for another hour while you stare at us. Can you read minds? I doubt it. Alan was wrong about you. You're nothing but a money-hungry…"
"Owen," Claire warned. "Please, just sit back down."
Owen refused, but he didn't walk out of the dimly lit room, either. He was grateful for the natural light streaming from the windows. His old therapist, the one he saw right after Jurassic World, had the worst lights. Owen would often tear up even when he was talking about something happy. The brightness hurt his eyes. It was part of the reason he stopped going. That, and he figured he was screwed up for life after what he saw. No doctor could fix him.
"What brought you here today?" Dr. Anderson asked. It was her first question in over five minutes. The initial questions were like those games teachers force students to play on the first day. Getting To Know You Questions. Owen hated those kinds of questions.
"Dr. Alan Grant recommended you to us," Claire said when Owen ignored the doctor. "He said you helped him and his friend a lot after Jurassic Park."
"Why now?" the doctor asked. "It's been more than five years since the Jurassic World incident, and you've both been to other practices. What changed?"
Claire hoped Owen would jump in, but he remained silent. His eyes followed a bird out the window. No, Claire realized, not a bird. It was a Pteranodon. They were among the more dangerous new additions to North American wildlife. Injuries were reported up and down the West Coast.
"Did you hear about what happened with Lockwood's estate?" Claire asked. It was a silly question. Everyone knew what happened that night. The evidence was outside their windows.
Dr. Anderson nodded politely. "I did. The two of you were there?"
"We were," Claire told her. "But that wasn't… that's not why I wanted to come here today."
If Owen was surprised, he didn't show it. Claire had said they were coming to work through what happened a month ago, and years ago, but there was more to it than that.
The therapist readied her pen over a mostly blank sheet of paper. "So what made you come here, Claire?"
A stray tear fell from Claire's eye. She didn't want to admit the truth. Would the doctor think she was a horrible person – a horrible mother?
Claire took a breath. It didn't matter what this woman thought of her. When Claire found the therapist's card in Owen's things, she took it as a sign. She needed someone to talk to. Someone other than Owen, who got it, but didn't get it at the same time. He was fearless, sleeping through the night, able to focus. Claire felt like she was drowning and no one would throw her a lifesaver.
"Yesterday, we found the T-Rex," Claire began. "She… she was with a baby that another lab cooked up. We got too close to the young boy, so the mother… chased us. No one was hurt, but… it stirred things up again. I haven't had a full night's sleep since before Jurassic World. I have these nightmares of dinosaurs chasing me… and then yesterday, one of those nightmares came true again. I don't know what to do, I just want it to stop…"
She sobbed into her hands. It was more than she'd told anyone, not even her last therapist. Something about Dr. Anderson made Claire want to open up.
Just allowing the words to escape her lips made Claire feel better. She wasn't fixed, but she felt like she could be someday. With help.
Owen stared at Claire's heaving figure. How did he not know she was struggling? She never woke him up or showed her fears on her face. Owen felt like an idiot for thinking it was only him who still had Jurassic nightmares.
He sat down on the couch and rubbed Claire's back. "I feel the same way," he told both her and the doctor. "I usually wake up a few times feeling paralyzed. Sometimes, when it's really bad, I can't move but I'm still in the nightmare. The indoraptor is attacking me, or Claire, or Maisie, and there's nothing I can do about it…"
Claire looked up at Owen, shocked. "I didn't know you were having dreams, too."
"I didn't want to worry you," Owen said. "I thought you were sleeping through the night. If I'd known…"
She leaned into his shoulder and cried some more. How could a couple be so terrible at communication? They would never last if they couldn't talk to each other. Claire added their lack of communication skills to her growing list of reasons she should leave when Maisie is found safe. How is she supposed to be a good mother when she can't even deal with her own demons? Maisie will have problems of her own, especially after this week. Owen will be better equipped to handle it on his own, without having to worry about Claire, too.
"This is good," Dr. Anderson said. She handed them both tissues from a box and waited quietly while they cleaned up their faces. Neither stopped crying, but they could see the doctor without tears clouding their vision. "Let's go back to the T-Rex, Claire. What was going through your mind when you saw it in the wild?"
Claire blinked. She didn't want to think about it, but she had to. "I was thinking that it was happening again. We were back on the island. Back on the estate. We would never truly be safe."
"That's it, Claire," the doctor said. She discarded her pen and paper and sat forward in her chair. Claire's last therapist didn't take notes at all, and Claire preferred it this way. She felt like she had the therapist's full attention. "You crave safety. Have you felt safe since leaving Jurassic World?"
Had she? She ran through the years after they escaped the park. Only a few moments of real, true safety popped up. "When Owen and I first left the park, I felt safe then. And when we were driving around in his van. I always felt safe in the Dino Group headquarters. People sometimes protested us and threw things at us or threatened us, but they never scared me. I was in control there."
Dr. Anderson nodded quickly. "You feel safe with Owen, and you feel safe when you're in control."
Claire hadn't realized how true that was until the doctor said it out loud. Owen did make her feel safe. And yet the urge to flee was still strong. "I guess so."
"I don't want to encourage an unhealthy attachment," Dr. Anderson said. "You can't always depend on someone else to keep you safe. From what I've read about you, you're good at protecting yourself. You just need to feel in control. I think you need to find a hobby that allows you full control over everything. Maybe a craft or cooking? Something that will occupy some of your time. It will help anchor you, and we can work up to you feeling safe even when you're not totally in control."
Claire wasn't sure she believed that was possible, but this was more than her old therapist ever did. She'd never been given therapy homework before.
"Now, Owen," Dr. Anderson said, shifting her body towards Owen. "In your nightmares, someone is in danger and you're unable to save them, is that correct?"
Owen nodded. The worst ones were when Claire or Maisie were being hauled away by carnivores and he was forced to watch. He could handle his own life being in danger, but when it came to Claire and Maisie, he couldn't bare to watch them suffer.
"You want to save everyone. You, like Claire, like to be in control. You like the responsibility. That can be dangerous, though, when things go wrong. I want you to try and take a step back. Let Claire be in the lead for a while. You'll see that she can handle herself, and it will help ease your mind."
That, Owen could do. He had seen Claire in action on the island – both times – and in the estate. Over the last month, he'd let himself forget how strong she was. She saved his life as many times as he saved hers. He had to trust that she would keep herself safe. He couldn't put that much pressure on himself.
"Thank you, doctor," Owen said.
Dr. Anderson checked her watch. "We made a lot of progress today, but our time is up. I think we should start with weekly sessions and keep working on the underlying issues that are causing your fear and lack of sleep. Are Wednesdays good for you?"
Being tied to Jurassic World made it hard for either of them to find a job, so they were free pretty much twenty-four/seven. The only worry was Maisie. They still had to find her.
"Wednesdays work," Claire said. "We'll see you next week."
"Same time," Dr. Anderson told them. "I'll see you next week. And good luck with your search for Maisie."
They both smiled sadly. It felt like their search was going nowhere. Claire was angry that movies and TV shows made kidnappings look so… intense. It wasn't like that with Maisie. She knew that was in part because Maisie wasn't a normal child, but she still deserved to be found!
Blue would save them. Once they found Blue, they would be one step closer to finding Maisie. Their plan had to work. And then, once it did, Claire would decide what her next step would be.
"We'll find her," Owen said, reading Claire's mind.
Claire wiped at a stray tear. "Maisie is the only good thing that came out of all this," she said. "We have to find her."
Owen agreed, but he didn't like the darkness behind Claire's eyes. What was she thinking about? He flashed back to when Maisie first disappeared. Claire carried a burden bigger than either of them could handle. She felt responsible for Jurassic World, the estate, and now Maisie. He couldn't fix the first two, but he could help with the last.
He took Claire's hand. "Tonight, we put our plan into action. Maisie will be back home with us soon. I promise."
Claire wished Owen wouldn't make promises when they both knew it would be hard to keep. Still, she wanted so badly to believe him that she did. It was the only thing holding her together.
By that time the next day, they would have Blue. Maisie wouldn't be long after.
Claire thought if she kept telling herself that over and over, she might eventually believe it was true.
Only time would tell if it worked.