Sorry for the long wait this time, I was traveling a region without Internet access (and even electricity, which made it difficult to write ;-)). Thanks for your patience! ❤
The next chapter will be up faster again.

Also thank you for reaching 100.000 reads... that's amazing!

DISCLAIMER: I own neither the Divergent world nor the characters, they belong to Veronica Roth.

Chapter 59

Tobias

Lauren, Will and I are sitting around the coffee table while Caleb is drawing maps and sketches of the Erudite compound at the kitchen table, which is bigger. After his first attempt, more memories started to return, so he crumbled the piece of paper together and threw it away to start with a new one.

He's been working like a maniac during the last hour, unable to stop as details turned up in his mind, while Marlene added her own memories to his. They seem to return slower than his, but at least they are coming at all.

Still, everything personal is more reluctant to come back. Sometimes Caleb and Marlene come up with little questions, and they need us to confirm if what they remember is right or not. They're mostly about small things, from names of family members and friends to faction traditions and community buildings in our city.

Christina has taken over the task to sit down beside them and answer those questions, because she doesn't feel bad to tell them if they are completely mistaken and their brains imagine things that have never been real. At least that's what it seems like. She says she does feel bad for them, but that she's more used to tell the truth even if it hurts than the rest of us is. Neither of us argues with her, because we're all glad that she deals with the task. I could never be patient enough for that.

Will has started to draw his own maps of Erudite, in order to find ways to get in. He knows a lot of places and labs, but unfortunately not the main lab. Only members are allowed in, and he never was one. But together with Caleb's drawings they form a decent image of Erudite.

We're discussing several strategies on how to best conquer the main lab where we think Tris, Lynn and Uriah are being held. With basically just three of us exchanging our ideas, we move forward much faster than we usually do. There's no joking, no talking around things. We get straight to the point, which revives my hopes that we can succeed. We just have to be smarter than them.

As much as Will has sometimes defended his very own point of view during our meetings to our criticism, he's not resentful. His insight into the typical Erudite way of thinking is actually extremely useful, as is his neutral businesslike attitude. I briefly wonder if the role of the cool rational thinker as whom he acts right now offers him the same comfort and protection that being Four offers to me. After all, his sister has betrayed us in the worst possible way.

Our strategy is almost done, although there's still one big problem to be solved: How can we make sure that Jeanine can't use Lynn or any of us as marionettes during our mission? Apparently she has improved the control serum to overcome our vaccine.

It's this question we keep revolving around when the apartment door opens and Zeke steps in. He looks exhausted, drained of his usual cheerfulness. It's all gone.

"Hey," he greets us weakly.

"Hey," I greet back, unsure of how to treat him. I don't have experience with him being like this. I'm afraid of saying something wrong.

He clears his throat before he speaks.

"I'm sorry I left you alone for so long, I just really needed some time. I'm sorry for Shauna's reaction, Four. I know it should be her who apologizes, but I feel responsible, too - somehow. She's my girlfriend, although right now, I'm pretty pissed at her.

All this Divergent bashing is coming from her mother. I'm always ignoring it when we're visiting her and she starts ranting about Divergence, although it makes me want to explode on the inside and I want to shout at her that she's wrong. I just never realized how deeply Shauna had internalized her mother's prejudices.

I ran into her earlier in the pit and dragged her into an empty training room to tell her what I think of all this, and I only hope she'll come to her senses and join us again."

He's so upset, and I hate seeing him this way. It makes me even angrier at Shauna. She has not only pushed me away and talked about me as if our friendship, if it ever truly existed, was worth nothing, she has also hurt Zeke and forced him into an extremely difficult situation.

I don't know if this will make things better or worse, but I can't keep it from Zeke.

"Uriah sent a message to you via Tris' communicator. I haven't heard it yet, as it's addressed to you. I have no idea what it says, but I thought you should know about it," I say.

"Can I hear it?"

"Yes, of course."

"Can you get it ready to play, so I can listen to it in the bedroom, alone?"

I nod, take out the communicator, type in the password and select Uriah's message that's titled 'From Uriah, to Zeke'. I hand it over to Zeke and tell him that all he has to do now is push play.

"Okay," is all he says before he disappears into the bedroom, silently closing the door behind him.

The atmosphere has changed noticeably, with all of us sensing Zeke's inner conflict.

"Uriah didn't leave a message for me, too, by any chance?" Marlene asks silently, and I'm sorry that I have to shake my head. There was only one message from him.

"But he went into Erudite for you to get you out. That's a big proof of how much you mean to him," Christina jumps in, taking Marlene's hand in an attempt to comfort her.

We try to get back on track with our planning session, but I'm having trouble concentrating.

It's Christina who finally encourages me to go and check on Zeke, "He's been in there for so long now, maybe he needs a friend."

I'm hesitant, I don't want to disturb his privacy. And what if he doesn't want to see me?

Lauren gives me a wink, signaling that she also thinks that it's a good idea. I remember how she held me this morning, right after I lost Tris to Erudite, and that's what makes me get to my feet.

I knock twice before going in and enter when there's no protest from inside. Zeke is sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the red wall opposite him, the communicator next to him on the cushion.

He looks at me shortly before focusing the wall again, and because I have no idea what to say or do, I simply sit down next to him, leaving an arm length of space between us, and join him staring at the wall, my mind chasing its own thoughts.

It's only after a while that Zeke begins to tell me about Uriah's message.

"He told me goodbye, you know? The goofball that he is, he said it as if he was joking."

I swallow. If even Uriah has lost his eternal optimism...

"I mean, he also said we should move our lazy asses to get them out as soon as possible," Zeke chuckles, but it's the saddest laugh I've ever heard from him, rather a sound of desperation than anything else.

"That sounds more like Uriah," I say, strangely relieved, although nothing has changed, really.

"Yeah, it does. Sometimes I can't understand his decisions, but..." - he sighs - "as much as I'm worried sick about him, I know why he did it. That's why I can't even be angry at him, although it's totally stupid to turn himself over to Jeanine, so she can do weird experiments with him. But I understand him, and Tris, too, by the way. I do. I would do the same for Shauna - or would have. I can't believe how she freaked out at you."

"Zeke, please, I don't want to stand between you two. I don't want to be the reason you're fighting."

"Don't be an idiot! You're not the reason we're fighting. You're Divergent, so what? So is Uriah. And Tris. But neither of you chose to be, so you're just you, as you've always been. For me that doesn't change a thing. So what Shauna and I are fighting about is her shitty attitude, and that she leaves me hanging when I would need her by my side. But that's to no degree your fault."

"I don't know what to say that could make things better," I say honestly.

"You could tell me that you've worked out a master plan with a hundred percent guarantee for success," he sighs, and for once it's not meant as a joke.

"A hundred percent probably is a bit too ambitious, but we've got a plan that is promising. I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it can work."

"When even you are optimistic, there has to be something reasonable about it," Zeke replies with a half-smile.

"I have to be optimistic. I owe it to Tris, and Uriah. Well, and Lynn."

"So, I'm ready to listen to how we're gonna take them down."

Zeke claps his hands on his thighs a few times before getting up.

There's one more thing that I need to ask him before we join the others again. I stand up next to him.

"Uhm, would you go somewhere with me later? It has to do with our plan."

"Sure, if that's how I can help. So where do we have to go?"

I won't be able to take it back after I've said it. I'll have to carry through with it once I've told him. But without Tris by my side, I need someone else to support me. I can't do this alone, not today, not in this situation, and Zeke has just proven to me how high he values our friendship.

I have to take a leap.

"To the factionless."

"To the factionless? But why? How can they help us?"

"They might have remnants of a serum Erudite asked them to produce a few years ago, but then the production was stopped as Jeanine came to power. It would be very useful for us if they still had some."

"But how can we convince them to hand it over to us? We would have to explain a lot, and we'd have to pay them with something."

"We don't have to pay. Maybe I have to."

"Now you're being cryptic, my Divergent friend." Zeke looks at me with raised eyebrows.

"I'll explain that on the way."

"Okay."

That's what I like so much about Zeke. He doesn't question my motives, my reasons. He takes them as they are.

He takes me as I am.

"Thank you."

I don't know if it's him pulling me into a hug or me pulling him into one, but it seals our friendship. In this short moment that we're standing there, I'm finally sure that I've found a true and loyal friend, and that I, too, am this friend to Zeke.

"So, no more sentimentality today, let's focus," Zeke says, straightening his back before entering the living room. I copy his confidential posture as I follow him.

He turns to Marlene and tells her what his brother wanted her to know, "Uriah said he can't tell you that he loves you in a voice message, cause that would be bad style. So, instead he's going to tell you after we've got him out again."

Tears well in Marlene's eyes, and I wonder how much she remembers about their relationship now. Apparently it's enough to make her emotional.

Then Zeke sums up the rest of Uriah's message for everyone, adding one more of his brother's jokes, "He reminded me to put in new and fully loaded batteries if we're going to use my walkie-talkies again, cause - quote - 'This time it's about saving our asses, not about listening in on Eric with a bug.' "

We can't help but laugh a little at this comment. Only Lauren remains still, staring at Zeke as if he'd just grown a second head.

"What? Anything wrong? Trust me, I have new batteries somewhere," he defends himself.

Lauren shakes her head as if coming out of a trance.

"No, nothing's wrong. I think you just gave me the idea we've been looking for all morning to improve our plan," she replies and beams at us excitedly.