.

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"My imagination completely controls me, and forever feeds the fire that burns with dark red light in my heart by bringing me the best dreams. I've always had a wild imagination, a big heart and a tortured soul so I feel that dark fantasy, love and horror are in my blood."

-Kim Elizabeth

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Ignite

Chapter 13: Ignite

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She was reading too much into things – she had to be. It wasn't like it would be the first time either. She had a long, embarrassing history of seeing things that simply weren't there. So, really, she should know better than to put any kind of merit to her (apparently overactive) imagination, but she just couldn't help it.

Natsu's words kept repeating in her head like some kind of twisted soundtrack stuck on repeat. No matter how many times she played it over, she just couldn't brush off that double meaning.

"I think I would have loved her too."

He had to have meant that he would have liked her mother as much as she would him – it was the only reasonable interpretation. Yet, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe he meant it differently. If maybe he had meant that he would have loved her also. As in, he loved her.

Then again, what if he did mean it that way? Other than Happy she felt it was safe to say that she was his best friend (she knew he was hers). So, of course they loved each other... You know, as friends. So what if his words were a casual declaration of his feelings for her? It didn't mean he love loved her. In fact she was sure that he didn't, so it was totally useless for her to devote even another minute entertaining the idea. She knew that.

So why couldn't she stop thinking about it?

Lucy sighed, eyes skimming the spines of books for what felt like the fourth – maybe even the fifth – time. She had taken Levy up on her invitation to go to the bookstore so she could find some new reading material, but now that she was here she couldn't seem to focus enough to even absorb the titles. She shook her head, willing herself to focus, and nearly groaned when she realized what section she had meandered into.

Romance. Of course. How could it have been anything else?

From a few rows over, she heard Levy's muffled voice carry over the tall cases of books. "Lucy? Where are you?"

Suddenly, for reasons she couldn't even begin to comprehend, Lucy felt a bubble of panic rise in her chest. She had been begging Levy to go to the bookstore with her for weeks, complaining constantly that she needed new reading material. She had no doubt that the shorter woman would start asking questions if she left empty handed. Her eyes searched frantically for a title – any title – that she could grab, but faced with a wall of steamy romance novels made her blush a few shades of red. Picking one of those up would be almost as bad as not choosing anything at all.

"Lu?"

She turned, eyes searching the shelf behind her and felt a surge of relief when she saw that it was a genre other than romance. "I'm, uh," she stalled, grabbing the first cover that looked interesting before shoving it under her arm and making her way to the end of the aisle. Her eyes quickly found the back of her blue haired friend and she gave a little wave. "Over here!"

Levy turned, an excited smile on her face and a stack of books weighing down her arms. "There you are!" Seeing that her friend's hands were relatively empty compared to her own, her smile dimmed and her brow creased. "You only found one?"

Lucy shrugged, mouth curling into what she hoped would pass as a sheepish grin instead of a nervous smile. "Yeah, trying to save some money. You know?" It was close to the truth... Kinda. She had gone into the little bookshop with a dollar limit in mind, but it had definitely been enough to buy at least four novels instead of just one.

The girl adjusted her red rimmed glasses, perching them on top of her wild blue hair while worry puckered her brow. "Lu, if things are that tight–"

The blonde cut her off with a frantic wave of her hands. "No, no! It's nothing like that!" She exclaimed. It was a true enough statement – the reward money she had received from the islanders a few months back was enough to cover her rent for nearly half a year in advance. The only bills she had to worry about currently were living expenses, and the jewel she received from the last group mission easily covered that. Seeing the skeptical raise of the older girl's brow, Lucy shrugged. "I'm just trying to be better about saving, is all."

She hummed, though she didn't seem altogether convinced. Lucy couldn't blame her – she was notoriously bad at saving away extra cash when there was something she could buy with it... It was the reason why she decided to pay the land lady in advance. She didn't trust herself to spend it sparingly – not when there was that kind of jewel sitting in her bank account. While she didn't consider herself to be shallow, she knew that she had an affinity for certain material things. She could never seem to have too many clothes (because feeling her best was priceless) or books (because hey, knowledge is power and all that). If she had access to the funds then she would be way too tempted to spend it, and she was really tired of stressing out about making her rent just because she decided to treat herself to a few (dozen) more outfits.

Leaning forward to get a better look at the novel in her friend's hand, Levy frowned in confusion. "I didn't think you liked horror?"

Taken aback, Lucy took a closer look at the book she had grabbed and let out a weak laugh. She hated horror. Even the ones that were written with children in mind had the nasty habit of keeping her awake, shaking under the covers and squeaking at every little sound. "Uh, yeah. I don't usually." Levy raised a delicate brow, and the blonde scrambled for a reasonable excuse. "It's, you know, research. For my novel."

Again, the script mage seemed completely unconvinced, but she had the grace to nod anyway. "If you say so..."

Lucy quickly inquired about the bluenette's selections, successfully distracting her. She listened with one ear as her friend went over the handful of novels and nonfiction works while they checked out. The attractive man behind the register gave her a teasing smile as he rang up her single purchase, but Lucy couldn't find the energy to flirt back like she normally would. Instead she gave him a small smile and told him that she would make a point to pick up more next time.

Once they exited their favorite little bookstore, Levy whirled on her. "Alright, what's wrong?"

Lucy balked, startled by the sharp gleam in her friend's gaze. "What?"

"You heard me," Levy scolded. Lucy suspected that if her hands weren't occupied carrying her bags of books that the mage would have crossed her arms over her chest. "You've been acting strange all day."

She felt heat creep into her face, and she quickly walked past her in hopes of hiding her reddening cheeks. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong."

She heard Levy's paced steps as she closed the distance between them until they were walking side by side. "Then why are you blushing?" She asked, tone sly.

In response to the accusation, Lucy felt her complexion darken even further. "It's hot out," she grumbled, though it was only half hearted. She knew better than to think that Levy would buy it – especially when it was a perfect 80 degrees out.

"Sure," she drawled, bumping their shoulders and giving the blonde a grin. "Come on, fess up!"

Lucy hesitated, drawing in a large breath in hopes of relieving the tightness in her chest. "It's just, well, Natsu said something the other day that got me thinking. That's all really..."

Levy's smile faded at the mention of the dragon slayer, her light tone becoming somber. "How is everything between you?"

"I don't know," she murmured, eyes meeting the script mage's. "Good, I think?" When she continued to receive a concerned, expectant stare she sighed.

The shorter girl's brows drew together. "But...?"

Lucy chewed anxiously at her bottom lip, eyes falling to her sandal clad feet. "I just –" she paused, grasping for the right words. They never came, and as Levy's expression grew more concerned Lucy's hands fiddled anxiously against the plastic bag she was carrying. She really shouldn't drag anyone else into her delusions... But at the same time she desperately wanted to hear someone else confirm what she already knew – that she was seeing something that simply wasn't there. "Can I ask you something?"

Levy blinked, perhaps surprised by the seriousness in the blonde's expression. "Of course! Anything."

She took a deep breath, tucking a blonde piece of hair behind her ear. "What would you do if you thought someone liked you? Like, in the romantic sort of way?" she asked, quickly continuing before the other girl could answer, "But you weren't sure? Like, it could totally just be you blowing everything out of proportion and seeing things that aren't there and –" she cut herself short, realizing that she was babbling. "And, um, yeah."

The script mage blinked. "I... guess it would depend on who it is..."

Lucy bit the inside of her cheek, averting her gaze and ducking her head. "What if it was your best friend?"

Levy remained silent for a long moment, as if weighing her words with careful precision. Lucy cringed, knowing that even though she hadn't mentioned Natsu's name that her question was less than vague. "Well... Would it be a bad thing? This, um, friend liking you?"

Lucy paused, her pace slowing until her feet felt as if they were cemented to the sidewalk. Levy, after noticing that she was walking alone, looked back at her curiously and with no small amount of patience.

Would it be a bad thing? He was Natsu. Sure, he could be a real idiot at times but he had the strength and spirit of someone to be admired. Him liking her in that way certainly wasn't something she found unappealing – in fact, if she was honest with herself, it was actually extremely flattering – but what would she do if he did? The path before her was beginning to resemble a tightrope more than a sidewalk, and she really wasn't too confident in her sense of balance. "No," she murmured, "Not bad. Just... different." At the moment it seemed to be the only truth she could hold onto.

Another stretch of silence passed between them, this one longer than the last. "How do you feel about him?"

Lucy frowned. "I don't know," she admitted.

Levy's eyes softened, and somehow Lucy got the sense that she understood. "Well, maybe you should just sit back for a bit and see where it goes." Lucy stared down at her sandals, a frown puckering the smooth skin between her brows. "Or you could always ask him?" Levy offered meekly.

Lucy cringed. She could ask him – she knew he wouldn't lie to her – but it would make everything so awkward. And they already weren't in the best of places... Plus, if she was honest with herself, she wasn't sure she was ready to hear the answer. She shook her head. "No – I don't think I could. Not right now anyway." She gave her friend a strained smile, stopping at the front steps of her apartment. "Thanks, Levy."

She frowned, head tilting to the side as she evaluated the blonde. "You know," she started hesitantly, "It's none of my business... And I know you're probably scared that this could change things, but... It could be a good change."

Lucy refrained from reminding her that there was equal chance that it could also be absolutely devastating. Instead, she gave a meek nod. "Right, I know," she murmured softly. Except she didn't know – that was part of the problem. She felt like she didn't know anything.

Still, it seemed to be enough to satisfy Levy, who returned her smile with a sincere one. "Everything will work out. You'll see," she assured brightly. "So don't let it worry you too much, ok?"

The blonde gave a breathy laugh. She wasn't so convinced, but Levy's optimism was enough to at least lift her spirits a bit. Besides, she reasoned, even if things didn't go so smoothly, it wouldn't do her any good to stress about it now. "I'll try not to," she answered honestly. "I'll see you tomorrow at the guild?"

Levy nodded, the glasses perched on her head nearly falling from her enthusiasm. "Yup! Don't forget to bring your latest chapter for me!" she reminded with a wink. "I've been dying to read it!"

Lucy grinned, shaking her head. "I won't. I was planning on editing it tonight." She lifted her hand in farewell. "See you later!

Levy returned the wave as much as the bags of books would let her. "Bye!"

The celestial mage watched her friend's retreating back for a few moments before turning to go into her building, her smile slowly fading by the time she entered her apartment. She kicked off her shoes at the door and set her purchase on her small coffee table with a grimace. She really did hate horror stories. She wondered if Levy would notice if she returned it. Probably. The script mage was a little too observant for her own good sometimes. No doubt she would follow up on how it was just to see if Lucy had read it or not. Then again, it wasn't like the blue haired girl was oblivious to where her mind was wandering anyway. No doubt she already suspected that her purchase had less to do with "research" and more to do with her being distracted and embarrassed.

She flopped onto the welcoming couch cushions with a groan. Today was suppose to have been a relaxing day off, full of shopping and catching up with her fellow book nerd, but instead it seemed to have turned into hours of self reflection without her permission.

She would be lying if she said she had never toyed with the idea of what it might be like to be with her partner in a romantic sense, but she had never given it any real serious thought. Self preservation told her it was stupid to entertain the notion of something more when he had never so much as hinted any kind of interest in anything beyond friendship. Except, she couldn't help but think of how Levy seemed so accepting of the theory that he might like her romantically – how unsurprised. Even though she never confirmed it, Lucy had no doubt that the script mage knew exactly who her "friend" was (it wasn't like she had been particularly clever at hiding his identity). Shouldn't she have been a little more skeptical?

Her mind churned – a cacophony of 'maybes' and 'what ifs'. She thought of Natsu's strange behavior lately, the intensity she caught in his gaze. Perhaps she wasn't the only one who had noticed the change in him. Perhaps the others had seen and come up with their own interpretations for the dragon slayers odd demeanor. Knowing Mira and her tendency for trying to play matchmaker, Lucy could easily envision the pretty mage taking his sudden seriousness as a sign of something else. She would probably convince the rest of the guild too...

The real question was if she was right.

A firm knock on her door successfully pulled her (if only temporarily) from her thoughts. Praying that it wasn't Levy deciding to push for more answers, she forced herself off the couch with a groan. When she opened the door she froze at the sight of her unexpected guest – partially because the universe had a really sick sense of timing, and partially because she wasn't really sure if she could trust her eyes. "You came to the door." He never came to the door – well, no, that wasn't exactly true. She had found him on the other side of her door last week, but even then he hadn't knocked.

Natsu raised an eyebrow, seeming unsure. He looked just as uncomfortable as the last time she found him hovering on the other side of her door – perhaps even more so. His hands were stuffed in his pockets as if to keep them from fidgeting. "Uh, yeah? You yell at me when I come through the window."

"Yeah, but you never listen," she reminded him distractedly. He remained silent, shifting awkwardly in the hall, and she shook her head. "Well, come in."

He quickly passed through the threshold, and Lucy couldn't help but pick up on the nervous energy that seemed to hum underneath his skin. Shutting the door, she frowned as she took note of the tension he was carrying in his shoulders. "Natsu, what–"

"Are we ok?" He blurted.

She started, momentarily thrown. "Wha–?"

He continued, his words leaving him in a frantic jumble of syllables and his hands gesturing wildly. "Because I know I totally screwed up, and I get it, but if your pissed at me I'd rather know about it."

She shook her head, completely baffled. "What makes you think I'm mad at you?"

His hands fell limply to his sides, his sharp gaze cutting into her. "Well, aren't you?"

"No," she answered honestly and without hesitation. "I mean, I'm not happy that it happened, but I've already forgiven you. I told you that." Didn't he believe her?

Some, though not all, of the tension seemed to slide off his shoulders. "Oh."

"Why did you think I was angry?" she asked, curiosity nagging at her.

He shrugged, an awkward grimace pulling at his mouth as he looked away. "I don't know... I guess it just seems like you've been avoiding me."

Her heart sank in her chest, weighed down by guilt. She hadn't meant to avoid him, but looking back she realized that she had. She had been so busy, so distracted, by her thoughts that she had completely bypassed the fact that they had a friendship to mend. She had barely spoken to him since that day she spent in his home. Of course he came to that conclusion. "I'm not mad at you," she repeated, voice low. "I just – I guess I was busy trying to figure something out."

"Oh... I guess that makes sense." He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes lifting to meet hers questioningly. "Anything I can, you know, help with?"

Help? He could snuff out her burning question with a mere one word answer, but she wasn't ready to hear it. If she asked then things would change, one way or another, and she just wasn't willing to let what they had now slip through her fingers. Levy's advice whispered in her ears. If she just sat back and watched, waited, then maybe she could figure out the truth from his actions alone. At the very least it could buy her enough time to figure out her own feelings on the matter. "No," she answered, shaking her head. "I think... it's something I have to figure out by myself."

His head tilted, and the way his nose wrinkled told her that he wasn't really satisfied with her response. "Well that's stupid. Everything takes longer by yourself."

Her lips quirked. She couldn't really disagree with him there. Though there was a certain irony that such a statement came from him – wasn't he the one who had locked himself away only a week ago? "Some things shouldn't be rushed," she explained, eyes watching his every expression.

Something in his eyes softened in what she could only describe as understanding – a level of empathy that made her pulse jump. "Yeah," he murmured. "I get that."

A stifling silence hung heavily between them, and for a moment Lucy felt the unfamiliar stirrings of panic in her gut as she struggled (and failed) to find something to say. Natsu cleared his throat, seeming to be grappling with the same dilemma. "Uh, so, Happy and I were suppose to go fishing later. You know, if you want to come?"

For a split second she hesitated, fearing the stale, awkward silences that might follow, but she shook herself free from the dark thoughts. He was Natsu, and whether she meant to or not, she had been avoiding him. She had worked herself up so much over what he had said that she had unconsciously stayed away from the dragon slayer because she wasn't prepared to be proven right. She still wasn't, but no one was forcing her hand. They were in charge of this particular piece of destiny, and (at least for now) Lucy just wanted things to go back to how they were. She wanted to be his best friend – to smile and laugh with him, and get dragged into all his crazy adventures. She wanted to feel like partners again.

The only one standing in her way was herself.

"It depends," she started, eyes narrowing in mock warning, "You aren't going to push me in again are you?"

The wide, lopsided grin that lit his face warmed away any of her lingering anxiety. "No promises."

She glared at him, but he must have seen through the charade because his smile only widened. She could feel the corners of her mouth twitch in response. This was the Natsu that she knew – the one with loud grins and mischief brightening his eyes. This was the Natsu that made her feel like everything was alright in the world. Her chest ached pleasantly, filled to the brim with a mixture of two parts happiness and one part relief. "...Let me grab my boots."

When he smiled at her like that... How could she ever think they would be anything but ok?

AN: Thank you all for being so patient! This chapter proved to be more of a struggle than I anticipated... the outline I had for it ended up completely scrapped. So that was fun. As always, thank you all so much for all the love and support, and to madartiste for being so wonderful and getting this edited for me so quickly (seriously guys, I only sent it to her yesterday and she had it ready for me this morning – go give her some love).

I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! Fingers crossed it won't take as long for the next update!